He takes a step towards me. Our lips aren’t touching, but they are close enough. “Hale, I don’t want you to be my girlfriend as much as you don’t want me to be your boyfriend. Can we meet in the middle and be friends, who go out, eat pizza occasionally, and do other things besides kiss?” he asks with a wink that makes me feel like a twelve-year-old in puppy love.
“You mean friends with benefits?” I crinkle my nose. Normally the idea would repulse me, but staring at his scrumptious face, the thought does everything but that.
“If that’s how you see it. There doesn’t need to be a label for what this is,” he gestures between us.
“I’m not one to be played, and I’m not into the whole college STD thing either, so if this,” now I gesture between us, “thing continues, it’s on my terms.”
“Your terms?”
“That’s what I said my friend,” I reply, emphasizing the word friend. He doesn’t say anything so I elaborate. “My terms as in what I want on my time, and when I’m done or get tired of this little ordeal, then that’s it. No hard feelings. Hell, no feelings involved at all.”
“Okay. Sounds good to me.” No questions asked, he just agrees. I wonder if he planned this all along?
Kyler King agrees to be my friend-with-benefits. How the hell did I get so lucky? He grabs me by the waist and lifts me in the air. My legs are pressed tightly around his stomach as his lips melt into mine. It’s a little sloppy as our tongues eagerly collide, but I don’t care. All I care about is the energy I feel syncing our mouths together. We let all of the spectators surrounding us fade into the background. Kyler cups my ass in the palms of his hands as he sits down on the concrete with me still on top of him. We sit for a few minutes before his leg goes numb, and he shifts underneath me, breaking our kiss.
“No feelings Hale, okay?” His voice sounds low and raspy.
“That’s what I said Kyler. I can’t care about you. I may want to eventually. I can’t promise I won’t, but that’s where the line is drawn.” I say firmly. He nods in acceptance.
“Another thing,” he hesitates momentarily, “let’s not discuss our past, our families, or anything else important like that. Since we’re not a couple and never going to be, those things don’t matter. You should know I get tested every month. I’m not going to lie and act like I’ve been a saint. I’ve been around the block a time or two, and I can’t promise you’re not going to run into a swarm of girls who are bashing me based on my past. Just know that right now it’s only you who I will be with, sexually.”
“Agreed,” we shake hands. This feels more like a business agreement, but what better way to guard my heart than to have a mutual agreement where no feelings will be involved? If you don’t ever care about someone, you won’t get hurt. This was going to be a marvelous agreement. We both get up and dust ourselves off.
“So I guess I’ll call you,” he says, unsure of where to go with the conversation now.
“Here, give me your phone.” I hold my hand out to him before he places his cell phone in my palm. I dial my number. I can feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket. My number is now in his outgoing call list. I save my name in it and hand it back to him. “There ya go bud. Give me a call, but don’t call me before ten o’clock in the morning. And I don’t have a car, so remember if you want some booty in the middle of the night, you’ll have to come get me. I would appreciate it if Luce and Kevin didn’t know about this because honestly I don’t think they would understand it.” I quickly lean over and give him a kiss on the cheek before I turn to walk into the dorm. I know it puts an abrupt end to our night, but I want to leave before he or I start having doubts about our little arrangement. Before the elevator makes it to the third floor, my phone alerts me that I have a text message. I slide the screen to see a message from a number I don’t recognize. I shake my head in laughter after I read the text.
Nice contact info, Call4sumbooottay, really? Haha listen…I’m calling for some. You available?
I reply. Nope sry not tonight. I’m beat from playing on the playground like an idiot all day. Night.
He doesn’t text back, so I lay my phone down on my nightstand before going into the bathroom to wash my face and get ready for bed. When I finish, I plug my phone into the charger, noticing a new text message from him.
Not an idiot. A fool maybe but not an idiot.
I don’t text back because I am so tried from being woken up early and having stayed out all day. I fall asleep oblivious to the buzzing my phone is making.
When I wake up, I notice the green light flashing on my phone. I go to reach for it as my empty birth control bottle tumbles off of my nightstand to the floor. Shit. I have always been bad about taking medication, especially on a constant basis, but knowing I just signed up for casual sex means I have to be more consistent with this prescription at least. I can’t remember the last time I took a pill, so I make a mental note to get a refill when I am out today before pushing those thoughts to the side and reading my text.
G’night Rocky. Sweet dreams.
Who knew the campus player was such a softy, and what is up with the Rocky thing? One busted nose and he thinks I’ve turned into a cage fighter or something. I fumble around the room because there are shoes, books, and garbage everywhere.
“We need a maid,” I hear Luce say.
“Do you think daddy would send yours?”
“Real funny brat!” She smirks as she throws a pair of socks at me.
“Gross. Girls are nasty!” I gag, disgusted by the amount of dirty laundry we have lying everywhere.
“Speak for yourself. You’re the one lip locking with a scumbag. Now that’s nasty!” Lucy jumps onto my bed, covering herself up with my quilt.
“Sure, just make yourself at home.”
“We are home Hale,” she whispers, sounding content.
She was right; this was my home now. I have an awesome friend and a hunk who likes to kiss me. What else could a girl want? I know she wants to lecture me and I’m almost positive I need some lecturing, but we both know that I don’t want to hear it. So instead, silence fills the air. After a while both of our phones buzz at almost the exact same time. Neither of us moves to get them, but they continue to buzz so we finally get up. A smile spreads across my face as I read the message in my inbox from Kyler.
U up? Hopefully you are because I’m sitting outside in my truck. Get dressed, bring a swimsuit and a towel and come down here.
I look at Luce who must have had a similar text because she is already up and out of bed, grabbing a large pink tote and stuffing it with her bathing suit. It only took about ten minutes before we both make it outside with our bags to meet the guys. Kyler was standing outside of the truck, leaning against the tailgate while Kevin was lying in the bed as we approach.
“Well hello ladies,” Kevin says in that creepy voice he always seems to speak with. I try to hide my eye rolling as I shake my head.
“Hey baby,” Lucy responds with a kiss on his cheek. Barf.
Kyler and I exchange a coy smile. It isn’t awkward, but you can tell that neither of us wants to push that imaginary ‘do not cross line’ and end this thing we have too early by journeying past our unwritten boundaries. So instead we smile as he gestures me into the truck, which is huge. Like monster truck huge! The gigantic, black tires are almost as tall as I am. He helps me jump up as I wonder whose truck it is. I know he has the bike and the classic car in the garage, but I never heard him talk about a truck before. Then again, we haven’t done much talking. Kissing? Yes. Talking? No. My curiosity got the best of me because as I’m getting in the truck I turn and ask, “Whose vehicle is this?”
“Mine,” he answers shortly. I make a mental note to ask again later.
I sit in the middle next to him while Luce sits on Kevin’s lap in the passenger seat. Kyler turns the radio up and rolls down the windows as we take off. I don’t know where we’re going, but I sit back and allow myself to enjoy the wind blowing my hair around. The breeze and music
relaxes me as I doze off. When I wake up, I’m leaning on Kyler’s shoulder. I feel his arm resting across my back as his fingers repeatedly intertwine in my hair.
“What time is it?” I am careful not to move so he doesn’t stop stroking my hair.
“Don’t worry about it. You seemed so peaceful that I didn’t want to wake you.” His fingers graze over my temple lightly. The softness of his touch feels amazing.
“Thanks I guess, but you guys brought us on this little trip, and I probably slept half of the day away. Sorry.”
“No problem, but now that you’re up, let’s catch up with Kev and Luce.”
I sit up and stretch, and then grab my bag from the floorboard. Kyler helps me jump out of the truck as the bag slides down my arm and hits the ground. He reaches to pick it up. “Umm, it’s okay. I can carry it,” I say before he can reach my bag and sling it on my back.
“Whatever suits you,” his desirable lips form a wide smile. His smile is the most handsome smile I have ever seen. Not that everything about him isn’t stunning, but you can tell his smile is never forced. It’s as genuine as the sunrise.
We walk side by side up a little path to an open meadow with nothing in the horizon except a miniature shed and a small pond. I see Lucy running around in her bathing suit chasing Kevin, laughing, and looking as carefree as a twenty-year-old should look. I suddenly feel envious of her, but Kyler’s eyes break my moment of insecurity, “Welcome to our clubhouse,” he motions to the shed while laughing.
He opens the door and allows me to step inside first. From the outside you would think lawn mowers and tools were stored here, but the inside renders me speechless. “Your shed puts all the sheds in the world to shame.” My eyes take in the room surrounding me. There is a window right above a small counter with a little sink, a miniature refrigerator next to the counter, a loveseat, two bean bag chairs, and a flat screen TV mounted on the wall. Kyler laughs while reaching for my bag and setting it on the floor by the loveseat.
“Kevin and I set this place up a few years ago. It started out as a little joke, but it was kind of nice to get away from everything once in a while, so we kept coming out. Eventually we brought out the furniture and worked out a deal with the farmer who owns this land,” he says while grabbing my hand and interlocking his fingers with mine. He continues, “We both work for him for two weeks every summer for free. He said he would hook up water and electricity in exchange for our labor.” I start to laugh, but his face is completely serious.
“Now that’s a deal. It seems like he is getting more out of you than you get from him by keeping your little boys’ clubhouse on a small piece of his land,” I say, trying to prove he is holding the short end of the stick.
“Yeah, at first Kevin thought of it like that too, until he went up the road to the main farm and met Roy’s family. He has three boys and a girl. The girl is sick, and the farmhands wanted more and more money each year. Roy has a lot on his plate, especially with Suzie’s illness, so I figured it was the least we could do.”
I can’t help but stare at the guy in front of me. One minute he was a total bad ass driving a motorcycle, and the next minute he was telling me a sappy story, making my heart melt. No words come to mind, so I move to sit on his lap. If there was one way I knew to express myself, it was with my body. I grab his beautiful face in my hands and kiss him, pouring everything in the moment into it, our first real kiss since sealing our agreement. I can tell he understands my motive because he grabs my body and pulls it towards him, pressing my chest as close to his as humanly possible. I move to straddle his lap and get more comfortable, but he breaks our kiss abruptly, jerking his face away from mine.
“Calm down Rocky,” he gives me a quick peck on the cheek before moving from beneath me and standing up. “We checked the weather this morning. I know it’s mid-October, but it’s seventy degrees today, and it might be our last chance to hit the pond this year. So get changed and meet us down by the dock,” he spits out quickly before opening the door and leaving me standing alone wondering what the hell just happened.
Did he really just stop our first friends-with-benefits hook up? “Whatever,” I grab my swimsuit and slide it on. I wrap my towel around my waist, slip on a pair of flip flops, and head down to the dock. I see a radio sitting on top of an old red picnic table and a big blue cooler beside of it. Kyler and Kevin are sipping on beers, and it looks like Lucy was drinking a girly lemonade concoction.
“I thought you were lost!” Lucy says as she wraps me in her arms that are as loose as jelly. She has definitely started pre-gaming without me.
We spend the day swimming and jumping on each other’s backs while playing chicken in the pond. The drinks were going down pretty fast, especially since it was so warm out and we were all thirsty as fish after running around the field. I don’t think any of us noticed how drunk we really were until the booze ran out.
“Shit guys, we’re empty,” Kevin says while looking into the empty cooler.
“Really?” Kyler appears disappointed.
“Yes, really bro,” he replies with a smartass tone. “I guess we should pack up then, it’s getting dark anyways.” Kevin starts pulling up his jeans over his bright white and neon green swimming trunks.
“Dude, I’m pretty drunk. I don’t think I should be driving,” Kyler states as he sits on the empty cooler rubbing his pale face.
“Well, isn’t this just lovely? Now we’re stuck in the woods, and we’re all trashed! What a great way to end our evening!” I snap at both of them.
“Calm down everyone,” says Lucy, “why don’t we just stay here tonight?” She turns to Kevin and puts her hands on his waist. “Baby, how many times have you and I come out here and spent the night? Remember how fun those nights were?” A giant smile lights up her face.
Kevin bends down and kisses her before he says, “So what do you guys say, a sleepover?”
“You have got to be kidding me,” I reply bitterly.
“Oh come on. I know you’re a city slicker and all, but live a little. Nothing will get you out here, we’re all alone, and I know you want to cuddle up next to my boy!” Lucy elbows Kevin in the ribs.
“I’m not scared to stay out here, but it’s gross and we’ve been swimming in a dirty pond all day. I imagine we all smell like sweaty pigs right now, and then we’re going to cuddle on the floor. Yeah Kev, that sounds like a fantastic ending to this day.” No one says anything. I look over at Lucy who is looking at me like a lost puppy. I can tell she is game for the sleepover idea.
“What the hell, we’re all stuck here until someone sobers up. Sleepover it is!” I exclaim in defeat.
“Yay!” Lucy squeals. “I call the loveseat!”
Great, I guess I get the floor. Kyler grabs a sweatshirt from his truck and starts picking up all of the bottle and beer cans from around the picnic table.
“I don’t mean to sound like a snob or anything, but camping really isn’t my thing,” I bend down to pick up a few cans, tossing them into the back of the truck bed.
“I’ve noticed, but give it a chance Hale. We have sleeping bags here already, and Roy never minds if we use the stable’s shower. When we’re done cleaning up, I’ll walk you up there if you want to take a quick one. I also have an extra sweatshirt if you want to sleep in it.”
The moonlight is hitting his perfect jaw line. Maybe it is the alcohol or maybe I’ve just been lonely for too long, but whatever it might be is causing my hormones to be in super overdrive. As he is bending down to pick up the last few cans, I jump on him, and we both fall to the ground. I straddle his waist as he sits up, so we are both face to face. He moves a stray piece of hair off of my cheek then places a small kiss on the corner of my mouth.
“You are so beautiful,” he kisses me again. His lips more eager to meet mine this time.
“No talking, more kissing,” I demand as our mouths open, finding a perfect harmony with each other. I can’t explain the electricity between us, but kissing him is ea
sily one of the sexiest things in the world, the way he nips at my lower lip and holds onto the back of my neck. I can’t imagine how Samantha felt knowing he cheated on her and was kissing someone else like this. I’m not the jealous type, but knowing he made another girl feel how I’m feeling in this very moment is a little unsettling. We sit there kissing under the moonlight for what seems like hours, but the moment was short lived by Kevin clearing his throat from behind us.
“Sorry to interrupt this little love fest you have going on, but we just left the stables if you wanted to take this somewhere else. At least somewhere you both don’t smell like algae.” Kevin gives Kyler a smack on the shoulder in some sort of boyish statement before he grabs Lucy’s hand and leads her into shed.
“I would love to take off these smelly clothes and shower, if that would be okay?” I ask while sitting in his lap.
“I love the view where I’m at, but if you must shower,” he says as I wiggle, teasing him. “Would it be okay if I joined you? You know, to save some of Roy’s water and all. He is on a strict budget.” His voice turns serious, begging me to say yes.
“Haha. Smooth Ky, real smooth.”
“Ky huh? So you moved into nickname territory?”
“Umm, no, it just slipped out. Trust me, I won’t let it happen again if you’re going to make this big of a deal,” I stand up and wrap my towel around my shoulders because it’s late and starting to get cold. What the hell, he has been calling me Rocky since I punched him in the face. If he doesn’t like me calling him Ky, he shouldn’t have given me a nickname and started this whole silly ordeal! He stands up and dusts his butt off before he walks over to his truck and gets a flashlight from the center console.
“The stables are just up that hill. You might want to get on my back.” I don’t say anything, but I’m sure he could tell by my facial expression that I am more than capable of walking somewhere on my own. “There could be snakes out there and you have flip flops on, unless you want to die out here from a bite. Just get on my back,” he pleads.
The Upside of Letting Go Page 6
