by Kate Stewart
“I can’t leave you. I won’t.”
“I’m leaving you, Dad!”
My head snapped up as she lifted her hands. I’m leaving you. I’m sorry. It’s time for you to find your new life.
I lifted my hands. You are my life.
“No,” she spoke again. “Koti too.”
Shocked at her admission and the weight of what she was saying, I couldn’t help the build of emotion that swam in my eyes. At the sight of it, Ella flew into my arms and spoke directly into my ear. “We can both be happy. I promise. I know you love me. Go be with her. She still loves you too. I know it.”
Praying I could whisper back, just once, to my little girl she pulled away as we both righted ourselves. I wiped my face of more tears.
You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I want you to know that.
“I know,” she said plainly.
I laughed at that as she took her seat and spoke again. “Do whatever the hell you have to do to make yourself happy. We only get one life, Daddy.”
A small group of women walked by staring wide-eyed in our direction before they spoke up to encourage her.
“Damn right, baby!”
“You tell him, honey!”
I raised a brow in an attempt to hide my smirk. “Where did you get that?”
She signed back.
An asshole I’m proud of.
One week later…
I pulled into the driveway and took a deep breath as I studied the identical houses. So much time had passed, yet the sight remained as much the same as the feeling in my chest. I’d abandoned her here months ago, and the last time I’d spoken to her, I’d given her no reason to wait for me. No reason to believe I would ever return. Exiting the cab of the truck, I glanced around the darkening sky. Koti always made it home by sunset, and I was losing my window by screwing around. All week I’d run in circles in an attempt to settle things in the States, so I didn’t have to leave her again in the near future. If by some miracle she took me back, if I had any place at all in her life, I was going to make damn sure I was able to be there. It took me a majority of the time to find someone to cover my class load, the rest I spent subletting my apartment. If Koti didn’t take me back, I would be a gypsy. That fear had me on the sand making headway toward her house before I could even begin to think about the right words. I’d phoned her, but her number no longer worked, which only had me scrambling faster to get to her. At Ease Property was on hiatus according to the answering service and the number I had for Jasmine had long since been erased from my phone from her one time calling me. I was at a dead end in reaching her and had only one option.
I breached the clearing of the alley only to be disappointed by the sight of the ocean without her standing in front of it. The loud clatter of wood on her porch had me jumping out of my reverie.
“Can I help you?”
I scoured the guy questioning me from head to toe. Tall, dark, built, and decent looking. Instantly, I hated him.
“I’m looking for Koti Vaughn.”
“She’s not here.”
Rage boiled through my veins as he gave me a subtle smirk. I wasn’t in the mood for bullshit and it seemed the opposite for him. He positioned a large piece of wood over one of her windows and began nailing it in.
“Can I ask what in the hell you are doing?”
“Uh,” he said with a furrowed brow. “I guess you could say I’m paying penance.
“Are you a friend of Koti’s?” I asked, my tone full of accusation.
“Something like that,” he said, giving me another disgusting fucking grin.
“In case it isn’t apparent, I’m not in the mood for this. Where is she and what are you to her?”
The guy smiled showing me every single one of his white teeth. “I’ve never met Koti man, chill out.”
“Then can I ask why you’re on her porch boarding up her house?”
“A favor for her friend, Jasmine,” he replied. “It’s a long story, but made short she asked me to board up this house and the one over before the storm comes.”
“Storm?”
“Big cell, hurricane headed straight for the islands. I don’t know when you got here man, but you better turn around and get out fast. It’s going to start tomorrow.”
“I’ve been busy all week, haven’t bothered to look at the news.”
“Did you miss every TV screen on the way here?”
“Shit,” I said, wiping my face.
“It’s everywhere.”
“Can you give me Jasmine’s number?”
“No,” he said. “But maybe she’ll pick up if I call her.”
“Maybe?”
“Like I said, long story.”
I rolled up my sleeves and picked up some of the boards. “That’s my parents’ place next door. I’ll get this done and come back and give you a hand.”
“Thanks, man, I appreciate it. Tell you what, I have a jet leaving at six. You help me out here, and I’ll make sure you get out of here in one piece.”
“Where’s Jasmine?”
“Iowa.”
“Iowa?” I grinned. She was with Julian.
“Want to tell me what that grin is about, brother? I’ve been begging for crumbs for the last few months.”
“I think it’s best that I don’t tell you for now.”
“Fair enough.” He swung the hammer as I got to work boarding up my parents’ house. Once I finished, I helped to finish boarding up Koti’s place. Every nail planted felt like more of what I didn’t want. I choked down the emotion of being on the island without her as I did everything I could to board her house up. Wherever she was, I was sure she was terrified.
When we were finished, the guy held out his hand. “I’m Steven.”
“Ian,” I offered, shaking his hand.
“I’m not sure this is going to help these houses, but let’s get the hell out of here.”
“I’m not leaving without Koti.”
“She’s not here in St. Thomas. Sorry, I thought you understood me.”
“And you don’t know where she is?”
“Nope. Let’s get on the plane and we can give Jasmine a call.”
“Sounds good.”
Two hours later, I was seated on a luxury jet when Steven put a cell phone in my hand.
“Hello?”
“You stupid ass men. I swear to God, I’m glad you found Steven, you two idiots deserve each other. If I was there, I would rip your damned balls off. You ASSHOLE!”
Steven chuckled across from me in his seat. “She’s a live one.”
I covered the mouthpiece. “I can see why you’re so smitten.”
“I’m so fucked,” he muttered, sinking back in his seat before he closed his eyes.
“It’s good to talk to you too, Jasmine. I’ve missed you as well.”
“Your ‘I’m a gentleman’ crap won’t work with me, and you damn well know it.” I heard a muffled, “Is that Ian? Let me talk to him.”
I would know Julian’s voice anywhere and heard Jasmine’s response to his request in the form of a painful grunt and a relenting, “Okay, baby, okay no need to get all batshit. Jeez!”
Jasmine responded to Julian by screaming in my ear. “I’ll show you batshit. You’re on my side. My SIDE!”
“You’re right, I’m on your side.” Seconds later, Julian’s voice was on the line. “Hey, man!”
“What in the hell have you gotten yourself into,” I muttered as Jasmine’s voice rang out.
“I heard that you Australian asshole!”
“It’s South African,” Julian corrected. I chuckled as the phone was dropped, another grunt sounded and then Jasmine came on the line breathless.
“You don’t deserve her.”
“I know. But I love her, and I swear to God, I’ll do everything I can to make it right.”
“It’s probably already too late.”
“What do you mean?”
“She went back to New York. Ia
n… you really fucked up.”
“Too late for what?”
“Her parents own a Fifth Avenue apartment. I’ll text Steven the address, and that’s all you’re getting from me.”
“Fair enough. Thank you. Out of curiosity, what’s the situation with this guy, Steven?”
Steven opened one of his eyes across from me and sat up as if I’d thrown him a bone.
“He’s just as screwed as you for the moment.”
I chuckled again. “That bad, huh?”
“Tell her I’m coming to get her,” Steven spoke up.
“Tell him I’m being taken care of,” she shouted back. “Good luck, Ian, you’re going to need it.”
“Jasmine, I know you’re pissed, but before you go, will you just tell me if she’s okay?”
“She got her heart shattered by an asshole who knew better, is about to have her home destroyed by an act of nature, and is currently living with her mother, what do you think?”
“Jasmine, please tell me what I might be too late for?”
The line went dead, and I cringed in my seat.
Steven let out a sigh. “She’s gotten a lot tougher since I left.” I recognized a bit of a southern drawl as he spoke.
“Left? You’re the ex-fiancé who left her in St. Thomas?”
“Yep,” he said, rolling a tumbler of whiskey in his fingers. “Biggest mistake of my life.”
“Why did you do it?”
“I had my reasons. None were good enough, hence the penance she’s making me pay. I know she’s with someone else right now. I’m biding my time and sooner or later she’s going to have to hear me out.”
“So, she’s taking her revenge by making you board her friend’s house?”
“Amongst other things,” he said dryly. “It was my pleasure to do it. I’m not the total bastard she paints me to be.”
“I’m afraid I may be the bastard she’s accused me of being,” I said, taking his whiskey and tossing it back. “My apologies. I think I needed it more than you.”
He motioned for the attendant. “Don’t worry about it, man. Plenty where that came from.”
I looked down at the islands as they slowly disappeared from view and briefly wondered how the sight of it would change when I returned.
“So where can I drop you?”
“As close to Fifth Avenue in New York City as possible.”
Steven grinned. “Looks like today’s your lucky day.”
I watched the expansive darkening sea fade as we drifted through the sky. “Hope so.”
Dark clouds laced the sky as I walked toward Fifth Avenue, my thoughts as muddled as the sounds of the bustling city. We’d had a layover in Atlanta for a day and a half due to a string of storms from the approaching hurricane. I spent the night in one of Steven’s mansions. Jasmine, in her wine-induced tale of woe months ago in St. Thomas, had failed to mention that Steven owned half of the media in the southeast. I liked him well enough and he’d been kind to lend me the use of his plane to get to New York. Despite that, Julian had my loyalty. I couldn’t fault Jasmine for her indecision. Steven had a certain likability. Julian, if he had real feelings for Jasmine, was in for a fight.
Racing thoughts multiplied as Jasmine’s words had me panicking.
Too late?
For what?
Had she found someone else?
And how long had she been in New York?
I couldn’t breathe, and maybe that agony was the penance I deserved, still, the idea of seeing her had my flesh burning. Needing her wasn’t the plan all those months ago, but each of my steps was purposeful, a way back to the truth of the fact that I did. I needed her. And she had to know that I was half a man without her. I had nothing rehearsed, no great speech planned of what a screw up I was to think we could treat our time together as a fling, that it hadn’t changed my life, my dreams, me.
All thoughts slipped away as I saw her exit the building feet away from me. My wind knocked out from the mere sight of her, I scoured her from head to heels. She was dressed in a sleek black power suit, a curtain of long blonde hair shielding her face. The wind graced me by pushing it away so I could get a glimpse of her. She was painted perfectly, her eyes lined with black, her lips colored in deep red. My whole body spiked in awareness as she surveyed the street in front of her, stunning me motionless. Her head held high, she was the perfect picture of a Park Avenue princess. I’d never seen her in more than a smile and a bikini, and although it was my preference, for a moment, I was a bit intimidated by how incredible she looked. She glanced in my direction not seeing me before slipping into a waiting town car.
“Koti!” I chased after her as the car began to pull away. Months, I’d waited months to try to mend the gap between us. Fear of every color clouded my vision as did jealousy I didn’t have the right to feel. Rain started to pour from the sky as all of my hopes began to fade.
What if her heart was no longer mine?
My veins screamed at the idea as I spit out the threatening defeat. There was no greater pain in life than losing love. Koti’s own brand of affection had smashed through the brick and mortar of my resurrected heart. Rights be damned. I wanted her, she belonged to me and I to her, so much so my soul bled in that street streamlining in her direction. I managed to hail a cab just as her town car passed me.
“Follow that car, please.”
The cabbie gave me a disbelieving grin in the rearview. “Are you fucking serious, man?”
I pushed my drenched hair away from my eyes. “I’ll give you every fucking dollar in my wallet, man. Follow it!”
Taking off like a shot, I sat back in the cab as the sight of her swam in my head. Absolutely nothing about her appearance resembled the woman I fell so much in love with.
Was I too late? No, it could never be too late, no matter what the case and I was desperate enough to breach anything between us. Repaying the favor, no matter what it took, I would break down every wall she built, even if I helped to resurrect them. I would never love another woman, of that I was certain. My fate was in her hands and I would make it known. We had something time and geography couldn’t touch. Regardless of my mindset, fear scorched me everywhere making me nauseous. Seconds after the cabbie pulled up behind the town car, Koti dashed into the building as I looked up at the sign in bold letters next to the front door. C. Zanders-OBGYN.
“Hey man, is this your stop or what?”
All the blood left my face as I stared after her.
Too late?
I shoved all the promised cash into the cabbie’s glove covered hand as blood filled my ears and my heart slammed against my chest.
Confused thoughts multiplied while I caught the door and held it for a woman with a stroller. She thanked me as I waited for her to move past before I rushed down the corridor. I stopped in the lobby searching for the floor. After a trip in the elevator, I stopped outside the office door and tried to collect myself.
Was she pregnant? Half of me boiled in thoughts of betrayal at the fact that she’d hidden it from me while the other half of me begged that was the truth of it. Jasmine had been cruel with her warning and maybe I deserved the state I was in, but I couldn’t let it last a minute longer. The waiting receptionist gave me a kind smile.
“I’m here to meet Koti Vaughn. She has an appointment today.”
“And you are?”
“Her husband?”
“Is that a question?”
I cleared my throat. “No, I’m her husband.”
She picked up a file and eyed it. “Says here she’s single.”
I swallowed as the older woman with dyed fire red hair narrowed her eyes but couldn’t contain the threatening smile on her lips.
“Is this a good story?”
“Not sure,” I said hanging my head as droplets of rain hit her desk. “But I’m begging your pardon for lying and for your mercy. In the most unromantic gesture imaginable, I’m about to barge into her appointment and demand she marry me.”
> Her eyes widened. “In an OB appointment? You’re serious?”
“Quite serious, yes.”
“Love your Australian accent.”
I held my bite. “Thank you.”
“Down the hall, last door on the right, but if anyone asks you found it on your own.”
“Thanks again.”
“I hope she says yes.”
We shared a smile. “Me too.” I raced down the hall and burst through the door just as Koti sat down in a hospital gown tying it in place behind her. Shock, confusion and then anger transformed in seconds over her beautiful face.
“What in the hell are you doing here?”
I couldn’t wait a single second longer. “What in the hell are you doing here? What is this? What am I too late for?”
“Ian, you can’t be here.”
“The hell I can’t,” I said, closing the door. “Tell me what this is.”
“This is none of your damned business. Get out, I’m not decent.”
I raised a brow. “I’ve seen you in far more compromising positions with a lot less on.”
“How did you know I was here and you were too late for… Jasmine?” Without confirmation, she closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m going to kill her.”
“I just took a ride with her ex, Steven on his plane. Seems to be some unfinished business there.”
“Yeah, well she has three men madly in love with her.”
“Three?”
“Toby, the water guy is in the running too, may the best man win.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, wow. Great talking to you, can you please leave now?”
It took every bit of strength I had not to sweep her off the bed and into my arms. I loved her sass more than I should, but even in a hideously loud hospital gown with bright orange flowers, she had me at her mercy. Still, panic more than anything strangled me at the thought she could betray me in a way I could never forgive.
“Are you pregnant?”
“Knock, knock,” the doctor said, entering the room and looking at me in surprise.
“Hi there, didn’t realize she had company. I’m Dr. Zanders,” she introduced herself and I shook her hand. Koti spoke on my behalf before I could get a word out.
