“Hurry,” she said. “Time is short if we’re to get away, Lillim.”
“Hurry?” I asked, my brows knitting in confusion as I stopped, half-caught between approaching our car and listening to this strange pixie-girl.
“Hurry and escape before they poison you more, before they fill your mind with more lies.” She nodded emphatically and reached out, gripping my hand in her tiny porcelain fingers. “I will show you where to go.”
I turned her words over in my drug addled mind, but couldn’t quite make sense of them. Not that she gave me much time to think about what she had told me. Before I even realized what was happening, she was pulling me along, leading me out of the street and toward the trees surrounding the road. We disappeared into the foliage, leaving my parents and their broken car behind in the rain. The mud stuck to my shoes as we moved, caking up around the sides and making leaves and twigs stick to them.
“My parents,” I whispered, looking back as the last bits of color from the road disappeared behind the too tall trees. “They need help.”
“They’re not real,” the girl whispered, still smiling and pulling me forward. “I’ll show you the way out, Lillim.”
“What if they are?” I asked, stopping and pulling my hand free of hers. I stood there, not moving as rain dripped through the trees and ran down my back, plastering my thin pink t-shirt to my body so it stuck to my skin. “Real, I mean.”
“They’re not, Lillim.” She stared at me and shook her head, sending her red curls flying around her face. “We have to hurry. Before Thes gets back. You remember Thes, right? You have to save him, have to bring him back from the past.”
“What?” I shook my head, trying to drive through the fog around my brain. “Thes Mercer isn’t real.” I swallowed, and as I said the words, they tasted like a lie, tasted like spearmint chewing gum.
“Thes is real.” She huffed once in annoyance and reached out toward me. “You’ll feel better once the drugs are out of your system.” She nodded emphatically. “That’s what we need.” She moved forward, dragging me through the brush. The branches scratched at my bare arms and tugged at my jeans, leaving wet, jagged streaks across the fabric.
“What we need?” I asked, wishing I could understand what was going on. “But my parents.”
“Look, they aren’t real, but I’ll get help, okay?” the little girl said with a harrumph of frustration as she pulled a bright pink phone with a shiny unicorn sticker on the back of the case from the pocket of her jeans. She made a big show of punching some buttons into it before putting it to her ear. “Will that work?”
I nodded because I didn’t know what else to do. The little girl chewed on one lip as she waited, free hand balled into a tight fist. I couldn’t tell you how, but I heard the phone ring several times before someone picked up.
“Hello. There’s been a horrible accident along Gray Mountain pass. Please send help.” She clicked the phone off. “See? All better. Now, we must hurry.” She shoved the phone into her pocket and gripped my wrist with surprising strength.
I couldn’t tell you why I let her drag me away, but I did. We walked for what felt like hours, until I was shivering so badly, my teeth hurt. I rubbed at my bare, gooseflesh covered arms and let out a ragged breath.
“We need to get you warmed up.” She looked up at the sky and squinted like she was trying to stare through the trees. “Even if this isn’t real, I guess it seems real to you. That’s just as bad almost.” She shrugged. “But it’s only a little farther.”
“What’s a little farther?” I asked, following her as she charged through the brush.
“Our hideaway. Jormungand won’t be able to find you there.” She poked me in the ribs and giggled like a maniacal school girl. “Even if he’s everywhere, he can’t pay attention to everything, not always. We will be very tiny fish slipping through the fisherman’s net, the low blade of grass escaping the mower’s blade. It is the only way for you to break free.”
“Okay,” I said because what she said was confusing despite seeming perfectly reasonable.
I licked my dry lips and followed along behind her as she skipped through the forest. After what felt like forever, we approached a large cave made of pale gray stone. It was dark enough inside to make the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up and my teeth chatter even though I was already shaking from the cold.
She stepped straight into the darkness and beckoned to me, but I could barely make out her hands. “Come on, Lillim. Hide in here with me until the storm is over.”
“When will the storm end?” I asked as lightning shattered the sky above and made me jump.
“Oh you know,” she replied, but it didn’t seem like a reply at all. “When it’s over and not a moment before.”
Chapter 17
The howling wind woke me with a start. It was too dark so see anything beyond the mouth of the cave. Was it nighttime? I got slowly to my feet, using the rough stone wall for support as I pushed myself forward. My feet squished and squeaked inside my still damp shoes with every step I took. I wasn’t dry, but I wasn’t exactly drenched either.
Trembling from the cold, I stepped from the mouth of the cave and looked around. It wasn’t raining, but the wind was furious. I could tell although I didn’t know how. Where was I? I tried to think, tried to tear through the fog of confusion shrouding my brain as I moved forward into the forest.
A gust of wind ripped across my flesh, and I shivered. Where was my guide? Where was the ketchup-haired girl? I shut my eyes and concentrated. Everything was a sort of weird, fractured blur, and worse yet, my guardian was gone. Maybe I’d made her up? The thought made me shudder. I really hoped I hadn’t made her up.
Not sure where to go, but knowing I’d end up somewhere, I began walking. A root caught my toes as I wandered through the darkened forest. I pitched forward, landing in the leaf-strewn mud with a splat. I lay there for a moment before climbing to my feet and trying to wipe my hands off on my pants, but it was no use. I was dirty, so very dirty. I stared at my fingernails, trying to decide if I could get rid of mud caked beneath them and realized I was still covered in blood.
Why? Had I been bleeding? My stomach dropped into my feet as fear pushed away every single thought. Where were my parents? I tried to remember, tried to think about what had happened. We’d been driving, but then what? I’d been in a car accident, and I’d just left my parents. But the girl had made a call. And then she’d left me.
I licked my lips, trying to ignore the dread filling me to the tips of my toes. They were still so dry, and I was so thirsty. My stomach rumbled, and I looked at it. When had I last eaten? I wasn’t sure, so I ignored it. I couldn’t eat anyway, not out here. What if the food I got was poisoned? Nature couldn’t be trusted. She was cruel. I had to get out of this forest.
When I finally broke free of the trees, I found myself staring at a huge house. It was strangely familiar, and as I approached, I realized I knew why it looked familiar. I’d been here before, at least I thought I had. It was enormous and probably so expensive, they charged people just to admire how much it cost.
Marble pillars lined the front walk, glistening by the light of the moon in the rain slick night. I approached carefully, bypassing the cobblestone walkway even though they probably wouldn’t appreciate me leaving mud on their driveway. Still, it was better than marking up the nice clean walkway, right? It was much too nice for my muddy feet.
Before I realized what I was doing, I was standing next to the door, my feet in the dirt beside the porch. I knocked on the door. There was no sound inside so I sat down on the edge of the porch to wait. It was strangely comfortable here next to the welcome mat. I’d never had one of those before. Say what you will about being paranoid, but most supernatural creatures needed to be invited in. I wasn’t taking chances with a welcome mat.
“What are you doing here?” a voice asked, startling me out of my thoughts. A short brunette wearing tight black leather stared at me with a bal
led fist on each of her hips.
“Chastity?” I asked because it was the name that popped into my head.
“Yes?” she replied, still glaring at me. “Why are you at my house, Lillim?”
“I want to see Thes,” I said before I could stop myself. It was a little weird because I didn’t really understand why I cared about him. Was it just because ketchup girl had been talking about him?
The girl at standing in the doorway glared at me with enough hatred to make it actually hurt to look at her. I turned my gaze to the ground and got slowly to my feet. It was harder than I thought. My legs were so stiff.
“You can’t see Thes,” she said, face set into a menacing snarl. “No one gets to see him anymore, thanks to you.”
“What?” I asked, looking over at her as she grabbed me by the bicep and pulled me away from her front door, marching me straight across the walkway. My feet left muddy prints behind me as I went. It seemed like such a waste.
“No one can see Thes because he never came back.” She shook her head, the beginnings of tears circling the edges of her eyes. “He left with you that day and never came back.”
“Where did we go?” I asked, confusion filling me as Chastity dragged me toward the curb. A thought edged out of the fog in my mind, but as I tried to grasp it, the memory evaporated. I tried to think back anyway, tried to think about where Thes had been. No luck. Still, the ketchup girl had talked about having to save him, but from what? Where was he?
“That’s what I’d love to know,” Chastity snapped before flinging me off the walkway and onto the sidewalk. “But I’d love for you to leave more.” She narrowed her dark eyes at me. “I’m going to go into my home and wait five minutes. When I come back out, if you’re still here, I’m calling the cops.” She scowled. “I don’t care how crazy you are, Lillim. I’ll do it. I promise. Maybe they’ll lock you in a deeper, darker hole this time.”
It didn’t seem like she was lying and getting caught by the police would be bad. If I was caught, Jormungand would find me. I shivered. Ketchup girl said I was hidden for now, but for how long? I looked around, hoping I wasn’t being followed and made my way away. To where, I wasn’t sure, but I definitely wasn’t staying here with Crazy Miss Bitchypants threatening to call the cops on me.
Still, what happened to Thes? I tried to remember, but found myself drawing a blank. In fact, as I tried to focus on him, I realized I didn’t even know what he looked like. Thes Mercer was more like a shadowy outline with a “Hi, my name is Thes Mercer” name tag stuck to it. Granted, it was an important nametag with glitter and a star sticker stuck to it, but he was still just a shadow whose importance remained murky.
I was still trying to remember who he was, and why I needed to find him when my feet began to hurt. I must have been walking around for a while because when I looked around, I didn’t recognize where I was. In the distance, a bridge crossed over a tiny street, and I stared at it, wary for trolls. Maybe they were real, maybe they weren’t, but I wasn’t keen on being eaten either way.
I altered my course, trudging up toward the street so I wouldn’t have to pass beneath the bridge into their territory. Would I get accosted if I tried to cross from above? I dug my hands into my pockets but when I pulled them out, they were filled with little more than lint. Well, I definitely couldn’t pay their toll with that if they were there. The jerks. I looked down at my feet and sighed at my muddy socks.
If it came down to it, I guessed I would have something they’d want. It’d really suck to give up my left sock to appease them, but worse things had happened. I wasn’t quite sure why trolls seemed to like left socks, but for whatever reason, it was like catnip to the creatures.
“I’d better not risk it,” I mumbled to myself as I crested the top of the hill and tossed one look back at the bridge. The little ketchup-haired girl was sitting on the railing, her feet dangling over the edge. Something about seeing her there filled me with relief, and not just because she didn’t seem worried about sock-stealing trolls.
“Hello, Lillim,” she called, waving at me with one delicate hand as her feet, clad in pink ballet flats swung back and forth.
“You should get down,” I replied, hoping she wouldn’t fall to her demise. “You could fall and get hurt.” I looked around for a grownup, but saw no one. It struck me odd that such a tiny girl would be out wandering without parental supervision.
She spread her hands wide, still smiling at me. “It’s not real, Lillim. It doesn’t matter if I fall.” She stood up on the narrow railing and lifted one foot into the air, holding a pose that reminded me of a plie.
“Please get down,” I shouted, rushing toward her. With any luck, I’d reach her before she slipped. “It’s making me uncomfortable.”
“You still don’t understand,” she pouted and hopped off the railing, landing lightly on the balls of her feet in the center of the wooden bridge. It was kind of amazing because I would never have been able to pull it off. She watched me, her big blue eyes filled with concern. “When will you understand?”
“Understand?” I asked, staring down at her as she plodded over to me and took my hand in her own. It was like being grasped by an octopus, slick and rubbery.
“That this isn’t real.” She shook her head and her twin red braids whipped around behind her like the tails of attacking dragons. “Nothing is real.”
“I understand,” I replied. “I know this isn’t real.” But as I said the words, I realized I wasn’t quite so sure that was true. What if… what if this was real? What then? And what did that make her? A delusion? I was starting to think so. I took a deep breath, trying to remember the last time I’d taken my medicine. Not soon enough, that was for sure.
“I can see the doubt swimming through your eyes like a giant whale.” She tugged on my hand, dragging me out into the center of the bridge. Hopefully, the trolls wouldn’t bother us. “You need to break free.”
“But Zef told me to wait,” I offered as way of explanation. “That it was risky to make waves.”
“Zef thinks he knows, but he doesn’t know.” She clicked her teeth. “I know, though. I know better than he knows. He’s only death and death only knows what life gives it.”
I swallowed a gulp of air that tasted stale and lifeless. “What?”
“Zef is wrong.” She stamped her foot in a puddle, splashing my shins with rain water. “You need to escape as soon as possible. If you don’t, you won’t be able to escape. Ever.” Her words made dread well up inside me. Even if they weren’t true, she at least believed they were true. That was nearly enough to make me believe them.
“How do I escape?” I asked even though I wasn’t sure I should be asking things of this strange girl.
“You must die.” She nodded like her words made sense, and I guess they did, sort of. “It’s easy peasy, lemon squeezy.”
“You’re out of your mind.” I pulled my hand free of hers and backed away from her. “You’re not suggesting…”
“You just need to kill yourself. If you do, it will break this reality and free you. You’ll be able to force Jormungand out.” She crossed her pale arms over her chest and nodded at me.
Her suggestion made me go cold and empty inside as I tried to imagine what it would be like if she was wrong. What would my parents think when they found me, cold and dead from having killed myself. I couldn’t do that to them, I just couldn’t. Not after everything I’d already put them through. No, if killing myself was the only way out of this world, I had to be one hundred percent sure this world was fake. Even ninety-nine-point-nine percent wouldn’t be enough to make me do something like that.
“What if you’re wrong?” I asked, tears filling my eyes. “What if you’re wrong?”
“I’m not wrong,” she replied, her voice cold and distant. “And I can’t hide you for much longer, Lillim. You need to do it now. Before they come to get you and take you back and fill you with poison.” She reached toward me, but I took another step away.
“Lillim, it’s the only way.” She smiled at me, and it was strangely comforting although I couldn’t say why. “I know it seems horrible, but you can’t worry about that. You need to end this, end this now.” She gestured at the bridge. “There’s a perfectly good bridge right here. It’s perfect for jumping off. Don’t think of it as death, think of it as awakening. Think of the butterfly, Lillim. Right now, you’re just a caterpillar. No caterpillar can fly without sacrifice.”
I spun on my heel and ran, leaving the girl with hair like ketchup in my wake. There was no way I was going to listen to her. No, I was just having problems, a reaction to the medication and the car accident. My eyes opened wide as I slid to a stop on the street. What had happened to my parents? Were they okay? We had all been in the car together and I’d just walked off and left them. It might not seem like a lot in the grand scheme of things, especially if they were fake, but the thought of them dead and gone was almost enough to break me. Almost.
The world snapped back into focus as I watched the cars roar down the road past me. Had I really abandoned them? No, the girl had called for help, but what if she wasn’t real? What if she was imaginary? What if no one had come to help them because I’d imagined the whole thing? I looked down at myself, still covered in blood and scratches. What if they were still hurt and no one even knew about it?
A scream tore from my lips as I took off running toward where I thought they might be, but I’d scarcely made it down the block when a car skidded to a halt next to me on the road in a shriek of squealing tires. The smell of burned rubber filled my nostrils as I stared at it, trying to remember where I’d seen it before.
“Lillim?” Charlie called. His voice was at a fever pitch as he leapt out of his still running BMW. “Are you okay?”
Mind Games: An Urban Fantasy Novel (The Lillim Callina Chronicles Book 6) Page 11
