She draped her arm over his chest. “I don’t know what to say. That was…so… When you… I have no words.”
He covered her hand with his own and smiled. “Had I known that was all it took to render you speechless.”
Alice shoved against him as she laid a line of kisses along his jaw. She nuzzled his neck. “I’ll take a vow of silence and we can stay wrapped in each other’s arms from one edge of the Atlantic and back.”
“Alice,” Gavin steeled himself. Only one of them would be crossing the Atlantic again. She’d despise him for it, but it had to be.
Alice continued, “Where will you be taking me? I never reached Port St. Maria, but I understand it’s beautiful there. We can have the repairs made to the Scarlet Night, bask in the sun during the days, and at night—”
“We’re not changing course. We anchor off the coast of Cape Henry by nightfall tomorrow.”
Alice rose to look into his face. “We’ll make repairs there?”
“No.” A fist turned in his stomach at what was coming. He lifted his hand to cup her cheek and soften the blow, but came within a hairbreadth of touching her. Unwavering, he looked her straight in the eye. “The plans have not changed. When the Scarlet Night docks, you will be taken ashore. It is a short coach ride from there to the Whitmore plantation.”
Her eyes registered disbelief, and hurt, before she turned away. “I thought...this….” Her hand swept the bed. “Everything has changed.”
“Not everything. Taking you back into my bed doesn’t change the facts. A life aboard this ship isn’t fit for you.” He moved away from her. The hurt in her eyes was more than he could bear. He swung his legs over the side and sat on the edge of the bed with his back to her.
“You don’t want me to stay with you?”
He closed his eyes. “That was never the arrangement.”
“Arrangement,” she repeated woodenly.
Gavin left the bed and slipped into his breeches. He couldn’t look back at her. If he told her the truth—that losing her would kill his already wounded heart—she wouldn’t leave. One word of caring would anchor her to him forever and to a life of constant danger and peril. How many times had she cheated death today alone? Better to have her hate him and live.
He bent to slip on his boots. “I admit, I did give a second’s thought to keeping you here. If for nothing more, than to warm my bed.” Behind him, she gasped. He’d hit his mark. “After the unfortunate issue of your maidenhood was dispensed with, you became a lovely distraction.”
“Is that all?”
“What more did you expect? Oh, of course you have my thanks for saving my neck this morning. Bump’s as well. I’d say ample compensation should be given for your heroism, although foolish. I am indebted. I believe a certain share of the bounty captured from the Spanish ship is due you.” He lifted his gaze to hers at her gasp.
“You want to pay me?”
Gavin issued his final shot. Loathing himself with each word. He indicated the bed with a sweep of his hand. “You’ve earned it.”
Chapter 17
Fury, not earth-shattering passion stole the words from her mouth. Hurt and humiliation jockeyed for position in her heart. Gavin’s words vibrated through her brain as she climbed out of his bed.
Retrieving her shirt, she then pulled it over her head. In the time it took her to don her britches, she’d chilled an iced shell around her heart. How could she have been so foolish to believe Gavin wanted anything more than what he found between her legs? Pay her?
Her emotions had overruled her good sense. This raw, burning pain in her chest was a proper reward. Gavin Quinn was like the rest. Worse. He made her believe she was wanted. Said the words. He’d taken all he would take. She’d been stripped clean and laid bare like one of his captured merchant ships. He’d get nothing else from her.
Gavin sat at his desk, the perfect picture of indifference. Alice eyed the heavy brass sexton she’d hefted to use as a weapon the first time she’d entered this room. She wanted to use it again for the same purpose until the realization stopped her dead. She loved him. Deeply. Profoundly. The fact she could do nothing to stop her feelings hit her like a cannon shot.
“How much farther until we reach Virginia?” Her voice droned oddly flat to her ear.
Gavin didn’t even lift his eyes. “Twenty-four, possibly thirty-six hours.”
Alice was done. Broken. She wouldn’t fight or beg. Wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. He wasn’t going to hurt her anymore. She notched her chin. “I’ll be ready.”
He nodded. “It is for the best.”
“Yet another thing we’ve come to agree upon.” When his eyes met hers, the sudden lump in her throat threatened to choke her. “T-the sooner I get away from this ship, the better.”
“I knew you’d see the sense in it.” He went back to his logbooks.
She refused to battle for his love, but there was one fight she still had to wage. “I’ll be taking Bump with me.”
He never lifted his gaze. “No, you won’t. Bump stays here.”
“If I’m not safe on your precious ship, neither is he. More so.”
Gavin looked at her as if she were some pitiful dolt. “Think about what you’re proposing. A single woman arriving at a plantation in Virginia with a dark-skinned child?”
She shrugged. “I’ll say I’ve adopted him.”
“No one will believe you.”
“I don’t care what anyone believes,” she snapped.
Gavin shook his head. “Bump stays with me.”
“I’m the closest thing to a mother the boy will ever have. He loves me.”
“He can’t afford to love you. He’s a pirate.” The muscle in Gavin’s jaw jumped. “There’s no room in his life for love. He’s a child; he’ll get over it.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
Gavin met her gaze. “It’s not simple. It’s essential.” Was he still speaking about Bump? “I’m sure he’ll keep fond memories of you and your time here, but this is his life.”
A cold, hard life full of struggle and violence and danger with no room for joy and affection. Love wasn’t something to give or received. It was something to survive and snuff out. Burying it along with your heart. Gavin would be the perfect teacher.
“I, too, will never forget my time here, Captain Quinn.”
Alice left Gavin, and maneuvered her way slowly and woodenly through the crowded deck. Crewmen removed most of the damage from the attack of the Crown’s Curse, but they were busy running new rigging and sail to compensate for the loss of the upper portion of the forward mast.
“Good show, Tupper.” “Another feather in yer cap.” Men slapped her on the back as she passed. “Capt’n be one lucky bastard, he be.” “Hear how ole’ Jessup got his?” “Bought it slipping down te ladder? Worse be drowin’ in yer mug o’ rum.” “I want te meet me maker at te end of a bloody blade.” “Or under a buckin’ whore.” Raucous laughter followed. Each man added his final wish to the colorful list of how they’d like to die.
MacTavish was hard at work preparing for the next battle when Alice pushed into the magazine.
“Lass. Dinna expect ye back here.”
Alice pushed past him. “There’s work to do.”
“Afta what ye done already, I guessed ye’d be takin te yer bed.”
“Not you, too.” She shot him an impatient glance. “Can we please forget about it?”
His eyes widened. “Would ye luk at that shiner.”
“I’m sure I’m a beauty.”
“I’m betting Capt’n and the boy won’t be forgettin’ what ye did. That was some quick thinkin.’ Pure amazin’ yer only standin’ the’r with a black eye. The mast could’ve smashed ye like a rotten turnip.”
“Can we not talk about it?”
“Fine, if ye ain’t got time to hear me singin’ yer praises….”
“Do you want my help filling these powd
er bags? Virginia is a day away.”
“Capt’n’ll miss ye when yer gone.”
The shaft of pain cut straight through her. “I’m certain he’s as anxious as I am to see me off this ship.”
“Ye blind in that eye as well? I’ve seen the way the man looks at ya. Can’t keep from watchin’ ya.”
“He’s worried I’ll disobey one of his rules.”
“He ain’t thinkin’ about no rules when he looks at ya. I ken that fer sure.”
Alice closed her eyes. “You’re wrong.”
MacTavish snorted. “I’ve been around the horn more times than ye’ve got teeth. I ken a thing ’er two about affairs of te heart.”
She spun on him. “Since when did you become some gossiping old fishwife?”
“Fish wife, is it now? What’s got into ye? Ye’re as prickly as a blow fish with te bends.” He snorted and turned his back on her. “An’ here I was thinkin’ ye might be worthy of the secret of the smoke.”
Bracing both hands upon the worktable, Alice dropped her head. “I’m sorry, MacTavish.”
“What’s nibblin’ at ye? Come on, out with it.” MacTavish narrowed his all-seeing gaze upon her.
She was quick to side step him as her reserve began to crumble. “I can’t talk about it.”
He raised his hands in surrender. “Fine. I know when te keep me nose out of a powder keg.”
“Let me lose myself in work for a while. What do you want done first?”
Alice worked until darkness forced her to stop. Her back was knotted and she was covered in a fine black film. All the pots that needed to be filled had been and she’d tied more than three score muslin pouches with the proper amount of precious gray mix.
As he had every other night, Bump waited for her outside the armory. He took her hand and began walking toward her tiny cabin, but she stopped. She couldn’t go back there. Not tonight.
The air was clear and warm. Seas were calm, and reflected an ocean of stars above them. Alice found a spot against a coil of fat rope and sat down. She patted the place next to her and waited for Bump to sit.
Leaning back, she lost herself in the beauty of the sky until the boy leaned against her. She wanted to sweep him into her arms and crush him to her chest.
“I don’t want to leave you. Not here. But where I’m going, life for you would be as hard. Harder. I’m scared for you. I’ll never see you again. See you grow up. I’ll always worry if you’re safe. You have to promise me you’ll be careful. Promise you’ll grow into a strong, fine man. Promise you’ll not forget me. Because I will never ever forget you.”
Alice looked down to find him watching her. He lowered his gaze to her mouth. “I love you, sweet boy.”
Bump blinked at her and frowned. Alice closed her eyes and tipped her head back. How could she get him to understand? Maybe it was better he didn’t. But then he leaned his head against her shoulder and wrapped a thin arm about her waist. The stars above blurred behind a rush of tears that filled her eyes and ran into her hair.
* * * *
“Land!”
The call came down after eight bells the next day. A cheer rang out amongst the crew. Alice strained to see. Before long, she spotted the thin strip of earth barely visible along the horizon. Virginia. The next chapter of her life. Her destiny.
While the crew scrambled, Alice stood in their midst and felt lost for the first time since she’d been aboard. She should be doing something. Preparing. Saying her farewells.
When she woke this morning, Bump was no longer at her side. Her body was sore and stiff from sleeping against a pile of ropes. And Gavin…she hadn’t seen him since she left his cabin. He had to have heard the call. He’d be eager to get her under way. She’d wait until the last minute to say her good-byes to him. Maybe by then she would have found the right words to say.
The thin strip of land grew. Alice twisted at her ring and ran the gambit of emotions. Anticipation, fear, hope, sadness. Why did it seem like her journey to this new land, new life began three lifetimes ago? This is what she wanted. Her destination. This is why she left Weatherington. She’d set off with determination and a sense of adventure. When had her fortitude disappeared?
She fingered the tiny pearl nestled in her ring. Her tether to Annalise. What words of advice would she offer Alice?
“Tupper?”
Behind her stood her three men-at-arms. Finch, Summer, and White. All three stood grinning at her.
“Gentlemen.”
They snorted and jostled each other until Finch gave the others a shove and they sobered. Finch took off his hat and gave her a serious nod. “Tupper, we got te talkin’. Them an’ me. As yer official landin’ crew an’ all, we be thinkin’ ye can’t go ashore lookin’ like some castaway.”
White shoved him, hard. Finch stumbled to recover. “Not that ye don’t look fine. Ain’t what we be sayin’.” He worried the brim of his hat. “What I mean, is ye should leave dressed like a lady.”
White pushed a parcel at her. “Made ye this.” He studied the toes of his dirty feet.
“Made? What is it?”
“It be a skirt.”
Alice unfolded it and held it up. The simple garment was made in panels of rugged fabric stained a dark tan. Down the back were three stripes of stiff red cloth running from waist to hem. The Scarlet’s sails. “You made me a skirt? I don’t know what to say.”
“Ain’t the latest fashion, but beats the hell out of borrowed britches.” Finch jerked his head. “Summer come up wit the idea. Used tea to get the brown color. White’s a mender and scrounged the scrap. An me, I be the right height.”
Alice held the garment to her waist. “I can’t believe you did this.” She shot a look at Finch. “Wait. You’re the right height?”
Summer snorted. White rubbed his nose to cover his grin. Finch shoved them again. “Needed to ken how long to cut the stripes.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leveled a look at her. “We be the same size to the floor, you an’ me. White measured each bit off me.”
Alice bit her lip to keep from laughing at the image of Finch as a dressmaker’s model. “I’m touched. I can’t thank you enough.”
“Yer mighty welcome, Tupper. Been a fine thing havin’ ye aboard. Come, lads, we’ve work ta do loadin’ the skiff.”
“How long before we reach port?”
“Oh, we ain’t heading ta port. Too risky. We be anchoring down shore. Capt’n put us three and Simons in charge of haulin’ ye to the beach. Me and Simons is to see ye as close te town as we dare.”
Gavin had set everything in motion. “How long before we leave?”
“Couple, three hours, at most. Got a hell of a head wind comin’ off an’ wit the one mast broke we be movin’ some slow. Be happy when we turn back and the breeze be at our arse.”
“That gives me plenty of time to change.” Alice clutched the skirt to her chest. “Thank you again for my gift.”
As the three moved away, Alice shook her head and laughed at the image of three of the fiercest fighting, blood thirstiest pirates brewing tea and stitching a lady’s skirt with Finch as their model.
Heading toward the gangway, she crossed paths with Neo. His face was swollen. One eye nearly closed. A bandage on his arm stood out against his dark skin. “Neo.”
“You be gone soon.”
Alice gave a slow nod. “That’s what I hear.”
He took her hand and placed something in her palm. “Take this.” It was an ivory-colored curve capped in gold hung on a rough chain. “Tao give to me. I give to you. His name means lion. This is a lion tooth. Te bring ye strength and courage.”
“I can’t—”
“I give, you take.”
“Neo,” she ran her thumb over the beautiful piece, “I owe you my life.” She laid a hand on his bandage and lowered her voice. “I couldn’t have fought him much longer. You—”
Dark, bottomless eyes held hers. “Jessup fe
ll.”
Alice nodded her understanding. The subject was closed. What had transpired wasn’t for her to know. It was done. “You are one of the finest men I’ve ever met. I know you weren’t among those who approved of my being aboard, yet you fought for me. Risked your life. I saw how you ministered to those men. Honored them. I’ll never forget.”
He curled his large calloused hand around hers, closing it over the tooth. “Fair winds to ye, Tupper.”
Alice followed his strong back as he walked away before she continued to her room. Entering the small space, she remembered the last time she was there. Gavin, passionate, joking, kissing her until her knees went weak. She still hadn’t seen him. Would he see her off? Say good-bye?
Pouring cool water from the pitcher, Alice then began washing the grime from her face and neck. Unbraiding her hair, she finger-combed through the tangles. She stripped out of her breeches and stepped into her skirt. It was heavy and the seams scratched at her skin. The waist was too large, but the length—the length was perfect. Alice grinned again thinking of Finch.
With the tails of her blouse untucked, and the large buckled belt secured across her hips, she was ready to meet her new life. The heavy lion’s tooth hung about her neck well below her breasts. She tucked it into the fullness of her shirt.
Neo said it would bring her strength and courage. Alice prayed he was right. She was in need of a healthy dose of both.
Chapter 18
Alice left the tiny sliver of a room she’d called her own for the last time and nearly tripped over the boy seated outside her door.
“Bump, there you are. I was worried I wouldn’t see you before I left.”
The child jumped up and ran a hand down the new skirt she wore and smiled. Alice crouched down and put her hand on his shoulder, returning his smile. Ruffling his hair, she put her hat upon his head. He didn’t understand and tried to give it back, but she placed it on his once more, shook her head, and pointed from the hat to him. “It’s yours now.”
Bump beamed from beneath the wide feathered brim before running off with his prize. As he scampered away, she prayed God would watch over him.
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