by S. I. Hayes
“How long have you lived here?” I asked, still looking around. Glory was on the couch next to him, sound asleep. I was glad for her age, for her innocence, with luck she would grow up to remember very little of these strange early days with her mother.
“About three years now, but that’s not really important. What’s going on is. Caitlin you need to be straight with me. About everything. I can’t help if I don’t understand what I’m up against. I’m here for you. But I won’t go into it blind, do you understand?” He looked up at me, the epitome of calm and collected. Then I saw the twitch in his jaw. He was scared. What I was doing, scared him.
I didn’t blame him, I was terrified.
“I was sixteen when I met Todd Sterling...”
AFTER TELLING HIM WHAT I could remember of my rape, he sat, holding onto me. I had sat down beside him, I wasn’t falling apart this time, but I also wasn’t done.
I sniffed, taking a deep breath. “During the trial, I lost myself completely. Listening to them try and call me a whore, accusing me of asking for it, then finding out I was pregnant. I started acting out. Drinking, fucking guys two, three at a time. Officers, mostly married ones who couldn’t, or rather, wouldn’t go off telling their buddies about it. “
I felt his caress pause at my admission of complete sluttiness, but only for a moment. Although there was a tension in him, he didn’t say anything. Just let me keep talking.
I pulled away, looking down into my hands in my lap. “They locked me up, then. Citing that I was unstable. I was seven months along and was in the hospital when she was born. For fuck’s sake, she was born in a God damned psych ward.”
He watched me carefully as I tensed up. His arms wrapped back around me, pulling me into the hollow of his chest. I was starting to lose my resolve. His strong arms around me were making me want to forget it all and just fall into the safety he seemed to make me feel.
I gently pushed him away, I needed to finish. “I need to get this out, while I still can. After I got out, it was okay. I seemed okay. Glory was so beautiful. She was all I focused on. Then they started about school again and playing with the medications. The Lithium fucked with my head so badly, I couldn’t lose the baby weight, and I’d always been a little chunky, but this was too much for me and it made me self-conscious. I didn’t wanna leave the house. I isolated. I ate. I drank. I took my pills. I cycled. I was so depressed. Add to that the night terrors and I didn’t see a world worth living in.”
“That’s why you slit your wrists.” Jarod finally spoke. The words were rigid, but kind.
I nodded. “I thought Glory would do better without me. I mean what kind of kid was she gonna be, a rapist for a father and a nut for a mother. Better to believe her parents were dead. Right? Tim found me passed out on the bathroom floor and they had me hospitalized again. I was in for six months this time. I’ve only been out for a month...”
Jarod’s eyes went wide with the new information, and his chest lifted in a heavy and hard sigh. “And what, exactly, set you off this time?”
“Oh, that... Well, after getting home from nearly shooting you, I found my mom sleeping at her desk. She just happened to have left out a letter that had my name on it, so I didn’t think anything of looking at it. I found out it was about the child support checks that had been being sent from Todd. Seems he’s working in jail and they have his money coming to me, for Glory. Apparently, my parents have been keeping it and never told me. All this time, they’ve had me slaving away in that house, making me into some kind of fucked up Cinderella, all while I’ve been contributing, according to my mother, almost eight hundred dollars a month to the household...” I was grinding my teeth, trying so hard not to yell, I didn’t want to wake up Glory or Sampson.
“I can see how that could anger you and stress you out. But are you sure running off was the solution?”
“I have no other choice. I need to petition for the money to come to me, wherever I wind up, and then I need to get my shit together. I have her to worry about. It’s time I tried to stand on my own. This is just the push I needed. I’m sorry if you feel used by my needing your place for a few days. I’ll make good, I promise.” I started unbuttoning my jeans.
“Whoa.” He put up his hands. “Stop right there. What are you doing?”
“I know I’ve gotta earn my keep, somehow.”
“Let’s try it with your clothes on. I’ll go put Glory down, you make a phone call to my Granddad’s and have a pizza delivered for lunch. Okay? Call that your keep.”
Chapter 23 Jarod
I sat on the edge of the bed in the spare room and pulled the blanket up over Glory. She was such a sweet little girl. Her mother was really pushing her limitations, and I wasn’t sure what I should do. Do I urge her to go home or do I help her to establish herself? Do I just move them in here? That was a possibility. I mean the place was big enough. I always imagined I’d have someone in it with me, eventually. I mean, I hoped I would. I had the room. Hell, I had room for more... What was I saying? I had a list of reasons that this was a bad idea, and I was sure that they were all quite valid, but I couldn’t put her out. I also didn’t believe she was ready to be on her own.
I smoothed down Glory’s hair and she opened her eyes. “Tin Man...” She murmured.
“Hey, my girl. We are in my house. Sampson is on the floor. Do you want him on the bed with you?”
“Yes, please.” She nodded, patting the bed.
“Sampson,” I called, and he climbed up on the bed and settled. He was coming along well with his training. I was pleased, and he so loved this kid. For that I was glad, she would settle in here quickly because of him, I was sure. “If you need anything just yell, okay baby?”
“Mmhm.” She snuggled into the puppy and closed her eyes as I kissed her head.
“I’ll come get you when the pizza gets here.”
“M’kay.”
I FOUND CAITLIN GOING through my cabinets and drawers when I returned to the main part of the house. I stood there, watching her for a few moments before making my presence known.
“Doesn’t he own any dishes? Or pots and pans? I mean guys gotta cook, right. Can’t just live on pizza and salads...”
“Actually, I do most of my eating at my Granddad’s place.”
“Ah! Don’t sneak up on me like that!” She jumped and I chuckled.
“I have all that stuff, it’s just in boxes in the hall closet. When Rebekah left I just sorta tossed it all in there.”
She tilted her head at me in question.
“My ex. We were gonna get married. Had a date set and everything. But after the accident, she couldn’t take who I’d turned into.”
Caitlin sat at the counter and folded her hands, “you’ve heard my story. Maybe it’s time I listened to yours.”
“Maybe we should hold off on the shitty talks for a little while.”
“Or maybe we should just get the shit out of the way, so we can be on level ground and know where our fucked up shit is, so we stop pussyfooting around each other.”
She had a point. Trust was a huge issue for her and she was trying to trust me. If I didn’t start talking, what would that do to her?
“Well, I mean, what do I say? I enlisted at eighteen, busted my ass and moved up the ranks quickly. I was twenty-one when the towers got hit so I went over with my unit. Got lucky, came home unscathed. Took all the courses to see Sergeant by the time I was twenty-two. My career was looking good. I’d done a second tour in Indonesia, and come home. While on a routine training exercise, we were supposed to be working with dummy IED’s and somehow, a live explosive wound up in the mix. I was lucky, at least that’s what they tell me. Mangled my leg and chewed up my back, put me out of commission for over a year. The Corp took full responsibility, if only to keep me quiet about it. They pay all my medical needs, have kept me on as a trainer so I can work toward my pension, and I got a settlement that I can’t disclose the amount of.”
“Wow... So, they fucked
up, it wasn’t in combat?”
“Nope. I saw combat twice and nothing, I come home and Boom! Literally, I got blown up.”
“That sucks.”
“I know. It was awful. As much as they claimed they were going to help, at first it wasn’t much. I had this plastic leg that chaffed and left me sore all the time. I was addicted to Vicodin, and just becoming a mean son of a bitch. Drinking all the time to drown out the nightmares of the fire. I started seeing shit from Kabul. Just exaggerations of what had gone on. Half of it never even happened. That’s about the time Rebekah left, I hit bottom, and tried to eat a bullet. Granddad stepped in, seeing what shape I was in, he made me fight for the medical treatment that suited me properly. Found the right doctors, the specialists that would allow me to run, not just hobble, so I could try and get my life back. We got me into therapy and they diagnosed the PTSD. That was almost three years ago. I’ve been busting my hump ever since to get where I am now, so you see, it’s possible to come out of the darkness, you just have to find a little bit of light. For me, it was myself. I wanted to be here, it was why I didn’t pull the trigger, it was why I reached out. What is it for you Caitlin, what do you reach out for?”
“Glory. I reach for Glory.”
“Then she needs to be why you keep your shit together. She needs to be your focus. Not your parents and their petty crap and ideas for you. Certainly not some man you’ve just met. But I will tell you this. I have come to a decision. If you want, you and Glory can stay here. You can rent the rooms from me, I have the space and until you have money coming in, you can help me make the place more livable. How does that sound?”
“Sounds a lot more doable than any alternative I may have had. What about us, though, am I to just be a tenant then?”
“We’ll take things one step at a time. You are going to need to get insurance for you and Glory, as I’m sure once you leave, your dad is going to cut you off. That will mean State help till you get a job with insurance. They may want to come in and check out where you live. So we gotta get you squared up and fast. I’ll take care of it, don’t worry about it.”
“This is only gonna be temporary. I have money coming. September second it will all be different. You’ll see. I’ll be taking care of you.”
“What do you mean by that, it’s the second time you’ve mentioned September.”
“When my grandparents on my Dad’s side died, they left me a trust that’s been turning over every six months since I was eight. It’s worth about two point seven million now. It doubles on that day and I get access to it, as I’ll be twenty at midnight. No one has been allowed to touch it, so it’s all there just waiting for me.”
I whistled. “That is quite a bit of money.” I had more, but she didn’t need to know that. “Seems you might just be okay after all.”
“I wanted to use some for college, but I was afraid I couldn’t emotionally handle school and taking care of Glory.”
“We’ll work on that, if it’s what you want.”
“I think it is.”
“Alright babe, then it’s a priority.” I walked around the counter and pulled her into me, leaning down to give her a kiss when the doorbell rang. I dropped my head.
“The pizza.” She lamented, pulling away from me and heading for the door.
“WHAT IS THIS CRAZINESS!” Granddad came shuffling into the house. “I have to ring the bell because the chain is on the door? I raise you like that?”
“Sorry Granddad. You remember Caitlin, don’t you?”
“Aye, the little distraction, yes, you I remember!” He glared at me. “You missed breakfast, but order lunch? That’s funny boy!”
“Mommy? Who’s yelling?” Glory came out to the kitchen, wiping her eyes and Granddad fell to silence, seeing her.
“Who’s this little munchkin?” His whole demeanor changed. he was suddenly the kind hearted old man and not the crotchety geezer I knew.
I laughed beside myself. This was going to be a very long day
Chapter 24 Caitlin
Mr. Thermopolis, or rather Tony, as he’s asked me to call him, sat quietly feeding pizza to Glory. He bounced her in his lap, listening to our particular situation. Jarod explained without the gory details, but enough that he had a good grasp on what was going on.
“So, you’re helping this precious little one and her mommy. That’s a good thing. Sounds like they need it. You’re a good boy.”
I breathed for the first time, I think, as he spoke. I had half expected a lecture of some kind. Especially after he had accused me of being something of a harlot already.
“You’re too cute to have all this stress, and so’s your mamma.” He bopped Glory’s nose playfully, making her giggle and bat at his hands. “She’s beautiful. The father?”
Jarod shook his head violently and I dropped mine.
“Touchy subject, I’ll not ask again.”
“Thank you.” I answered
“Granddad, who’s running the restaurant?”
“Why, Dora and Patrick, of course. Who else?”
Jarod laughed. “Maybe you should get back before they burn the place down.”
“I leave that to you two.” He smirked, making kissing noises, as he handed me Glory. “I will see you again, soon, I hope.”
“I look forward to it.”
WE CLEANED UP AND TOOK the rest of the afternoon to go through some of Jarod’s boxes. He had all kinds of things packed away. Shelves I could put up, old photos, he needed more furniture, but that could be ordered.
“I figured I’d start with the kitchen, and later we could go get some groceries?” I called to him as he’d disappeared around a corner.
“Yeah, okay.” He called back, distracted. I wandered in the direction of his voice and found him watching Glory as she played with her toy tank. I had grabbed only a few of her toys. The tank she loved especially, it had come from my father.
“An M1 A1,” Jarod whispered, not wanting to disturb her as she made gun sounds and exploding noises. “She seems to know just what it does too.”
“Dad played army men with her, Tim too.”
Jarod shook his head. “I’m sorry, but I won’t play that with her.”
“I wouldn’t ask.”
I watched as he limped off. His leg was bothering him, obviously. I wondered if he ever took it off. I had spied a pair of crutches in the front hall closet, but was afraid to ask.
Chapter 25 Jarod
I bit off more than I could chew. Of that, I was sure. She was at Granddad’s with Glory while I waited for her brother, Tim, to show up at the Pizzeria. He was going to act as the middle man, whether he knew it or not. Someone had to be a buffer between her and her parents. Something told me that talking to the Lieutenant alone or in private would be a mistake on my part. His threat to me resounded in my head. I didn’t want to risk leaving her alone anywhere, not if there was a chance her old man might come calling. I didn’t want to risk her going off the handle and using that gun, which I was sure she still had.
Tim came into the place looking upset and angry, but also seemed to know better than to make a scene. I was waiting for him in a booth toward the back of the restaurant. Just as I waved him toward me, his father appeared with two MP’s. Great, he was gonna attempt to muscle me with a couple of military cop buddies. I guess since I did take his daughter off base property he could try and make a case for it, but Caitlin is over eighteen. So, an adult as far as any court system is concerned.
They approached and I stood. This time, I did not salute. I out ranked the MP’s, and only they were in uniform.
“Staff Sergeant Trainor,” the Lieutenant dead panned.
“Lieutenant Colton.” I nodded. “Please sit, won’t you. Perhaps have something to eat or drink?”
“I’ll take a water with lemon, thank you.” He sat, putting Tim beside me and the MP’s to his sides.
“And you two?”
“No, thank you.” They answered like creepy twins.
“Okay, Tim?”
“A beer would be good.”
I waved my hand and Dora came over. She was a robust woman of about sixty-two, but she looked like she was in her early fifties. Dark hair and eyes, just like Granddad liked them. I was pretty sure Patrick was my cousin, for the resemblance, but they never spoke about it.
“A water with lemon for the Lieu, and two Buds.”
“Alright baby,” she cooed, looking over at us. No doubt, she would be on the cell phone in a jiffy, letting my Granddad know the situation.
“You know these two weren’t necessary. I haven’t come to ask for anything insidious. Caitlin left of her own volition this morning.”
“She’s a sick girl, do you know she’s been hospitalized twice in the last two years?”
“I know that you took a traumatized woman and furthered her trauma by making her have a baby in a psych ward. Then, you proceeded to make an indentured servant of her in the time that you’ve had access to her, all while collecting thousands of dollars that don’t belong to you.”
He shifted in his chair as Tim looked at me. “What’s he talking about dad? Thousands of dollars?”
The Lieutenant sighed, folding his hands on the table. “Would you believe that we had her interest at heart? That the money was being put toward her and Glory? That we have it set aside?”
“Can you prove it? Show us the bank statements, take me right now, to your house, and show me these provisions.”
“Who, the fuck, do you think you are to demand something of me? If I tell you that we’ve been taking care of it, I assure you, that is what’s been done.”
“Until you can produce the proof, Caitlin will not speak to you. She will not come home and she will not give you access to Glory. If you try to come for her, we will have a protective order issued. Be very clear on this. I will not have you trespassing on my property.”
