by Jolene Perry
“Oh, yeah.” Her smile is faint. “Have a good day.”
“I will.” Maybe I should give her a head’s up about Friday. “I’m taking Sky out on Friday. Is that a problem?”
Mom’s smile becomes more genuine then. “Not at all. You should talk to your dad about using his car.”
“Do you think he’d let me?” It sounds partially like fun to drive the Porsche and partially like I’d just be trying too hard to show off or something. But I really love driving his car.
“I don’t know why you think I’d know what your father will or will not let you do,” she snaps, turning to empty the fridge of its contents.
Yep, things definitely aren’t good. I wonder how much longer it’ll be before they’re back on track. Waking up to the sound of cupboards slamming is starting to grate on my nerves.
“I gotta run,” I say, as I start for the door again.
“I hope you two have fun tomorrow. She seems like a cool girl.”
I hold in the ridiculous grin I feel spreading across my face. “She is.” I half jump out the door before letting myself smile. She is a way cool girl and I don’t know how I’m going to keep up with her for a whole night. But it’ll be fun to try.
***
So, as much as I’d like to think I’m moving on after a whole six days of getting used to the idea—I’m not. I mean, I’m moving on, but the only time I get to see Sarah without Eric is in class.
“How are things?” I ask her. We’ve sat next to each other in third period English the whole year.
“Good. You?” She opens her book and flips through the pages.
“Good.” What do we have to talk about? I know I don’t want to talk about Eric.
“How’s your new friend?” Sarah pulls out our assignment from yesterday and looks it over.
“Sky?” I’m confused.
“Yes. Sky.” She finally looks at me, her eyes wide. I’m having a hard time reading her expression—probably because I’m trying too hard.
“You okay?” I ask.
She smiles a little. “Yeah, sorry. I was just surprised because you’ve never mentioned her when we hang out.”
“I met her on Friday, after the dance. I gave her a ride home. She lives across from me.”
“Oh.” Sarah relaxes in her seat.
“Is that it?” I whisper. Why do I care if people hear what we’re talking about?
“I just didn’t know if…I thought maybe you were dating and hadn’t told me. That’s all.” She fingers the edge of her paper and her eyes drop back to her desk.
“No.” I smile. Maybe Sky’s right. Maybe Sarah does like me. “But I’m taking her out on Friday.”
“Oh.” Sarah’s head snaps up.
“What’s with you? You’re acting all strange,” I say.
She shifts in her seat, not looking at me.
“You’re being so direct. I guess I’m not used to that from you.” Her bright blue eyes meet mine.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize.” Guess it’s contagious.
“Maybe, if you want, we could double?” Her voice finally has a hint of the excitement I’m used to.
I really don’t think that’s a good idea, but how do I tell her? Maybe I’ll go for non-committal. “Yeah, maybe some time.” But the two girls together in my driveway—that was more than enough weirdness for me.
“Let’s set it up.” She turns toward me.
So, this is why she wanted to know if I was dating Sky. So she could set us all up on some cozy double date. I’m sure it’ll bring more than one heart attack worthy moment for Sky to give me grief over. But not Sarah—she won’t give me grief, because Sarah and I aren’t real with one another the way we should be. I don’t know how I never realized it until now. How that one act of not telling her how I feel, somehow allowed us both to keep things from each other. Or maybe that’s how most people interact, and Sky and I are different?
“Why don’t we just see if she still wants to hang out with me after Friday?” I chuckle and pull the assignment from my book.
Sarah gives me a relieved look.
“Sarah.” I lean over.
Our teacher stands up to start class.
“What?” she whispers.
“You know you can tell me stuff, right? We can be honest with each other?” I guess what I’m really asking is: “Are we still friends?” But I can’t ask her that, because I know it would hurt her feelings.
“You’re being weird today, Jamesy.” Her face turns into the cute Sarah version of a scowl.
I sit back in my seat and will the next couple of days to pass quickly. I need it to be Friday.
***
I have an apple with peanut butter and two huge rolls for lunch. I don’t know why this matters, but I’m suddenly paying attention to the smaller details of life since I’m not sharing lunch with Sarah.
I wish Eric and his fake blond hair would take his hands off her, for just one second. He’s eating his burger with one hand so the other one can wrap around her back. It’s like holding her hand isn’t enough, or just sitting next to her isn’t enough.
But I have to admit if Sky were here, I’d be trying to do the same to her. How is it possible for me to watch Sarah and wish I could be Eric, while I’m also wishing for the same thing with Sky?
The problem is that I really can’t compare the two. As much as I felt like I’d suffocate a week ago when I watched Sarah and Eric kiss—I survived it. I’m not healed. Things aren’t perfect, but at least I can breathe.
“What’cha spacing out on?” Matt asks, while taking a seat across from me. Matt looks like the stereotypical football jock. He’s my height, but probably twice as broad.
“Hey, man.”
“You swimming after school today?” he asks.
“Like every day.” I nod.
“I saw you and Kaylee talking the other day.” He shifts in his seat a few times and clasps his hands in front of him.
I think back. Oh, right…Monday morning’s meeting. “Yep.”
“Are you two…” he trails off. Hoping I’ll finish his thought because somehow it’s too embarrassing for him to actually say the words? Is that it?
“Just ask, Matt. And no…we’re not.” I wonder if there’s anything else.
“Do you think she’d go out with me?” He scratches the side of his head and his eyes dart from me to something behind me.
I turn around to see the back of Kaylee’s head. “You’d have to ask Kaylee.”
“Could you put out a few feelers for me?” His eyebrows are bushy, and for whatever reason, they’re driving me nuts just looking at them. “You’re like, one of those good, sensitive guys, right?”
Has high school always been this juvenile? “Matt, you think I know what girls like?”
“Do you?” He chuckles resting his arms on the table between us.
“I spent last Friday night in my pool with a college girl who was wearing nothing but a tank top and panties.” Shit, that shouldn’t have come out.
“Holy shit, man!” He raises his hand for a high-five over the table.
I shake my head. “Matt, go talk to Kaylee. Tell her you like her, or that you think she’s pretty, and then see if she wants to go to a movie with you or something.”
“No way.” He shakes his head.
“Then I’m not putting out any feelers for you because if you don’t like her enough to ask, you don’t like her enough to go out with her.” I choke on my words at the end. My gaze shifts to Sarah. How could it not after saying something like that? For three years…was she not important enough? Eric gives her a squeeze, and her big blue eyes look up at him. Will this become normal—her underneath his arm? Will it ever stop hurting? I know I’ll need to apologize to Sky for saying something about her wearing her panties in my pool. I also know I’m about to go crazy with two girls floating around in my head.
“Dude, Jameson. Who pissed in your Cocoa Puffs this morning?” He stands up, chuckling.
> “Sorry.” I scrape the bottom of the small cup of peanut butter with my finger. It’s the only protein I’ll have today and I’m gonna need the energy for the amount of laps I’ll need to do to get my head on straight.
***
Dad’s hunched over, resting an arm on the kitchen counter, when I come in the front door. He’s standing over the stove and a pot of boiling water. He’s in his recovering-from-work clothes—sweatpants that need to be thrown away and an old t-shirt from a trip to Mexico. His short curly hair is stuck up on one side and my guess is that he just rolled out of bed.
“You swim today?” he asks.
“I swim every day.” I slide my pack down and set it next to the kitchen table.
“Almost.” He drops the contents of a mac and cheese box into the water.
“Okay, almost.” I’m still staring.
He seems more tired than normal. This does not bode well. As of this morning Mom was still slamming cupboards and Dad looks so…distracted.
“Your mom said there was something you wanted to ask me?” Dad’s half-Mexican, and he grew up in a Mexican household. His accent is still there, even though it’s subtle. I only know a few phrases in Spanish. Enough to find a bathroom, a bus, order a few meals, as well as some phrases that would put me on the receiving end of a smack from my mother—if she knew Spanish.
“Oh.” The car. “Nah, I’m taking a girl out on Friday and I was going to ask for the Porsche, but I think that would set the bar a bit too high.” I chuckle.
“Sarah?” His eyebrow goes up.
It’s kind of a shock that he doesn’t know about Sarah and I. Has it been that long since I’ve seen him? Instead of going into the whole story, I say, “No, someone else.”
“Oh.” Dad stirs his pot of mac and cheese. “Is that a good thing?”
What a loaded question. But then I think of Sky, our brutal honesty, and her long legs. “It’s a good thing.”
Dad shakes his head. “Watch it. I recognize that look.” He points at me and his face relaxes into the smile I’m used to seeing from him.
“What look is that?” And as soon as I say it, I realize I should have kept my mouth shut.
“The look that tells me I need to remind you to use a condom, every time, no matter what.” He’s pointing at me with a wooden spoon as he stands over his pot on the stove. All he’s missing is an apron. I hope I don’t laugh.
“Thanks, Dad.” I’m trying hard not to let my embarrassment show. He’s guessing that I’ve never done it before. Mom knows I haven’t, but for some reason I’m afraid to admit that to Dad. And Friday doesn’t feel like our first date. Our first date was when she was wearing her black panties in my pool. I really, really need to stop thinking about that because it’s bound to come out of my mouth again at another inopportune time.
He laughs. “Can never be too careful.”
And even though I shouldn’t, I ask, “Where’s Mom?”
He turns toward the sink. “At work.”
“Really?”
“It’s not that unusual for your mom to work on Thursday night.” He sighs, his shoulders slump, and he turns back to the stove. His smile is gone.
There’s something I’m not being told, but I don’t want to know what it is because I don’t need anything else to think about right now. There’s too much in my head already. The problem is I know how Dad begged Mom to change her work schedule so they’d be home at the same time. So far this week, they’ve had opposite schedules. And the last time they were in the same room, I heard them arguing. The whole thing sucks.
“Got homework.” And I need to get out of this room before I can’t breathe anymore. Crap, I’m hungry. I grab another small peanut butter package and a box of crackers to take to my room.
“If you decide you want the car, you’re welcome to it.”
“Thanks.”
Right now I need to get my homework done and make sure I have enough planned for my date tomorrow night. I really don’t want to let Sky down. And I’d rather think about that—than anything else.
EIGHT
At ten minutes to six, I’m standing in her driveway wearing my most expensive jeans, a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and tennis shoes. I’m early, but I don’t care. I step up to the door and knock.
She opens it two seconds later, making me hope she’s just as anxious to begin our night together. She seriously takes my breath away. Her hair is down, long and straight like always, but it looks like liquid, like something I want to run my fingers through and bury my face in. Her eyes are glowing and her top is almost non-existent. She’s in another tiny skirt and shoes that are almost the same as mine. Her necklace is thick with tiny beads in intricate patterns, covering most of her collarbone.
All I can say is…“Wow.”
“Thanks.” Her smile fills her face.
“Happy Birthday.”
“Thank you,” she says, while stepping outside.
I reach out and touch her necklace. It’s broad and has a white background with black designs and red along the edges. Normally, I don’t notice stuff like girl’s jewelry. “This is incredible.”
“It’s from my mom, and you’re using it as an excuse to touch me.” She smirks.
“Maybe,” I agree. “You look…I mean, you’ve pretty much answered one of my two questions.” I’m going to have to find a way not to stare at her all night. I’m just not exactly sure how.
“What two questions?” She grabs a bag from the floor by the door and follows me outside.
“We’re still doing the honesty thing, right?” I can’t believe how normal and relaxed I sound standing next to someone like her.
“Always.” Her eyes meet mine.
“Okay, first I need to apologize.” I want to get this out of the way.
“For?”
“I told a guy at my school that I had a college girl in her panties in my pool on Friday night,” I say as we walk up her grandparents’ driveway.
“You did have a college girl in her panties in your pool.” She’s getting a kick out of me. It’s all over her face. Her smile, her eyes…
“Well, he was insinuating that I knew nothing about girls while at the same time trying to get me to ask a girl out for him, or…” What am I trying to say?
“So…you’re apologizing to me…for lying to him?”
“Did I lie to him?”
“You made it sound like you know things about girls.” She bumps my arm with hers.
“Oh, thanks.” I take a dramatic breath. “No added pressure for tonight or anything. It’s cool.”
She laughs. “And what’s the second question?”
“Well, I was offered the Porsche, but I was worried it would set the bar too high. But now, looking at you and all your hotness…”
“I think the Golf is cute, I really do. But did you even have to even ask?” Her eyes narrow and her dimples grow deeper.
“Porsche, it is.”
“You look good, too. But you’re one of those guys who will always look better with his shirt off.” It comes out of her mouth nice and smooth. Like she just said something about my lawn.
But it stops me in my tracks.
She looks over her shoulder at me. “Come on. Since you didn’t pick me up in a car, we need to find one.”
“Right.” Yeah, there’s no way I’m keeping up with her tonight.
***
“We could just walk from hotel to hotel all night, huh?” Her hand is laced through mine.
“We could.”
“So.” Her smile is wide. “You’ve already showed me ‘real’ French fries as well as the most delicious steak I’ve ever had in my life. What’s next?”
“You’ll see.” I squeeze her hand.
“Where are we going?” I love hearing the excitement in her voice.
“You’ll see,” I say again. It feels good, to be with her like this. Like friends, but better. There’s tension and possibility under the surface. Also, s
he’s seems to be forever in control and tonight, she’s relinquished some of it to me. I really don’t want to let her down.
“The Mirage?” she asks, as we get close.
“Yeah, it’s been here a while.” I take a deep breath. Keep your face calm.
“Okay.”
We step into the lobby. I’ve been here a hundred times before…no, definitely more than a hundred. Mom used to work here. She still knows the guy who keeps the dolphins. If our timing is right, he should be waiting for us.
“Wow, look at all the fish!” Sky stops at one of the tons of aquariums in the lobby. “Pretty amazing, huh?”
“Yeah.” I step close behind her and breathe in. I like them, even though I’ve seen them way too many times to count. I’d rather watch the beautiful girl in front of me.
We walk past the check-in counter and toward the back door.
“Oh, Jay! There’re dolphins here!” She stops to read one of the signs.
“Cool.” I take another few deep breaths to relax. Don’t ruin the surprise.
“We missed it.” She frowns. “They close at eight.”
“Maybe next time.” I shrug. But now, I can’t wait to see her reaction.
“Yeah,” she says, trying to hide her disappointment.
I lead her through the back door to see Mike waiting by the side of the dolphin tank.
“Where are we?” She looks around. It’s dark back here, only a few security lights are on.
“I have a friend here. Well, actually a few friends here…”
A smile starts to spread across her face. She’s smart. She knows.
“Hey Jameson!” Mike stands up. “Long time, no see.”
“Yeah,” I say, shaking his outstretched hand. “This is Sky. Sky, this is Mike.”
“The guy who’s going to show us the dolphins?” Her voice is full of excitement, just like I hoped.
“That’s me,” he says, with a nod. Mike is in his fifties. He’s short, and kind of looks like a human version of a dolphin—pale with short, grey hair and a nose that’s a tad too big for his face.
He points at Sky’s necklace. “Tlingit?”
“Yeah.” Her eyes widen. “How did you know?”
“Did a cruise to Alaska with the wife a few years back.” He turns to open the gate that leads behind the dolphin tanks.
