“Sorry about that.” Hayden faked an apologetic smile and tried to be patient.
“It sucked pretty bad.” The guard squinted again, leaned even closer, and jabbed one of his chubby fingers at Hayden’s chest. This time he was so close that he could see a gold crown on his top back molar as the guard added, “Really bad.”
Hayden softened the fake smile into what he hoped look like sympathy. “I bet it did.”
The guy suddenly seemed to rethink his situation, leaned back and folded his arms across his chest. “You come here again to look for it?”
Hayden nodded.
A tall, sinewy older man with a long grey ponytail who was strolling past paused to great the two of them with a curious hello. “Something going on here in the library?” he asked, lifting his eyebrows. The man lingered longer than was polite or even normal. The guard’s face soured even more and he waved the guy away, but the old man didn’t move on. Instead, he squared up in front of Hayden, a speculative tilt to his head, and stared at him.
The guard cleared his throat. The old man stayed put.
Why did the library have to be so full of weirdos? This guy had to be someone he’d met at one of the off the wall cultural events he covered, he held out his hand. “I’m sorry, Sir.” Hayden held out his hand. “Do I know you?”
The man didn’t even blink. He just stared. “Not really.”
Hayden couldn’t care less about whether he knew him or not. He simply wanted to remember if the guy was someone important. Judging from his odd looks and lack of manners, he could easily be a fellow journalist. But there was something different, something drifting up from the back of his mind telling him to be careful and not in a way that would protect his career. He opened his mouth, opening some intelligent response would come to mind, but didn’t have the chance to say anything because the guard shoved the man aside. “Need to keep this area clear, Mister. Safety reasons.” Then, in what the guard no doubt hoped was an authoritative tone, added, “For safety and security reasons.”
The man cast the guard an icy stare that made Hayden take a step back, but he moved on without another word.
The guard wasted no time in catching Hayden’s attention by coming forward and again poking him in the chest. “I thought you’d be back. Seeing as you left in such a hurry.”
Hayden glanced at the fat fingers lingering under his chin but decided to keep up the fake friendly repertoire instead of smacking the guy away. “You were right. I went to look for the book on the shelf, but it—”
“Wasn’t there.” The guard dropped his hand and started circling Hayden.
Hayden tried to widen the fake smile. “You know where it is?”
The guy kept walking. “Yep.”
“Could you get it for me?” he asked, clinging to the patience.
“The way I see it, you owe me.” He came to a stop behind Hayden.
Hayden dropped the smile and looked over his shoulder, wondering again about the old man. The guard wasn’t looking around, he was staring straight at Hayden with his dull eyes. “I really am sorry about that lady. I’m sure that sucked.”
“It did.” The guy leaned in, to add, “You know what else sucked?”
Hayden’s stomach knotted. “What’s that?”
“Looking at those pictures of you fucking that hot girl. Pictures, when I could’ve seen it up close and personal if I’d been in the right place at the right time.” He frowned. “How was I supposed to know you were gonna fuck her? I know those shots on the Weekly’s site didn’t do her justice.” The guy lifted his hands and spread his fingers. “That girl had some big, juicy tits.”
Hayden dropped the smile and changed his approach. “Did you stop to think you might be talking about my girlfriend?”
The guy dropped his hands as he laughed, the appalling scent of endless cups of cheap coffee filling the air. “That girl ain’t nobody’s girlfriend. Even I can see that.”
“What about the book? Can you get it for me?”
The guard took out his flashlight, started flipping it through the air and started walking again. Each time the metal landed in the guy’s palm it made a fleshy smacking sound. “You’re forgetting what I said.” He paused, flipped the light twice, then said, “You owe me.”
“You took the others too, didn’t you? The ones that were shelved next to it.”
“I sure did. I know you smart types always come back. And I was right.” Two more flips of the light, then, “Here you are. Hope you’re ready to pay up to get what you need.”
Hayden looked for his wallet.
The other man slipped the light back into its holster then grabbed Hayden’s arm. His thick fingers curled around Hayden’s wrist. “No, not like that.”
“What?”
“I want what I missed.” He tightened his grip. “The girl. In person.”
Hayden yanked his arm back.
“I can’t do her, ’cause I have a girl myself. But I can watch, that’s not cheating.”
“You want to watch me fuck that girl?”
“Yep.”
“You’re serious?”
The man had the nerve to look insulted. “What’s it to you? You used her to sell papers.”
A mistake that never ended. “If I go get her now, and we do it, you’ll give me all the books?”
“Now?” The guard used his fat fingers to smooth his hair then straighten his blue uniform shirt. Then he rose up on tiptoe to look over the shelves. “She’s with you?”
Hayden headed toward the stairs. “I can go get her.”
“Meet me in Rabb Lecture Hall in seven minutes. It’s in the basement.” The man pulled out his phone and checked the screen. “Don’t make me wait.”
* * *
He burst outside, squinting into the sunlight. No matter what he had to do, this nightmare was going to end. One way or another, this nightmare was going to end.
Mattie was right where she’d put herself, squatting on the step, scanning the traffic and surrounding area. She was so focused on watching, he got all the way up to her before she noticed he was there.
“Come on.” He grabbed the collar of her leather jacket and hauled her onto her feet. “It’s your turn to perform.”
She yanked back, pulling herself away from him. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
He reached again, grabbing the collar of the jacket, and dragging her up several steps. “We’re going inside.”
“I don’t want to go in there,” she said, digging her feet into the snow then slipping on a patch of ice by the door. Once she found her footing she shoved him. He grabbed her hand and pulled hard, whispered into her ear. “You want the book? You have to go in.”
Once they were inside, on the stairs headed to the bottom floor, he gave her a brief explanation of the deal he’d made.
“Whatever, Hayden. Nothing surprises me anymore.” She shrugged out of her jacket and thrust her shoulders back. Her nipples were stiff points beneath the red wool. “It’s not like I haven’t done this sort of thing before.”
They reached the basement, found the right door, went in. A stage was on the left and raised, stadium-style seating filled the area on the right. The only light in the large auditorium was a spotlight focused on the center of the stage.
The security guard’s voice cut through the darkness. “On the stage. In the light.”
Mattie swung up onto the stage and went straight to the spotlight. She stood there, dangling her leather coat in one hand, lifting the hem of her skirt with the other. Light streamed across her, illuminating her skin, brightening her face.
Hayden climbed onto the stage, turning to stare out into the darkness then forcing himself to move to the center. All he had to do was fuck Mattie more time. So what if that asshole was out there, watching in the darkness? One quick screw and he’d get what she wanted and what he needed.
When she reached the bright white spot in the center, Mattie dropped the jacket and lifted the hem of her skirt h
igher, exposing the highest curve of her cold, muscular thighs. She moved slowly, lifting the edge without the urgency he’d come to associate with her and sex. There was no green glimmer in her gaze. Instead, her eyes were a steady brown, framed by long lashes he’d never noticed before. Her hair, its usual mass of tangles, outlined her shadowed face
He paused, suddenly unsure as he saw her in a new way. She’d once been more than walking sex, a creature with unavoidable tits and the kind of long legs a man fantasized about having hooked around him. She hadn’t always been the kind of woman who made a man feel right in all the wrong ways. Yet she’d made a choice to leave that behind and so now he too had a choice to make. “Hey fuckwad,” he yelled into the blank space of darkness. “Do you have the books? With you?”
“I’m not an asshole.”
Gritting his teeth, he grabbed the end of his belt, jerked it free. “Do you have them? Yes or no?”
The guard’s irritated snarl was followed three solid smacks, cracks that sounded like he was hitting the books against the back of a seat. “That’s all of three of them. Hurry up and hit that sexy bitch before I light this shit on fire.”
Hayden let his pants drop to his knees.
“You aren’t hard,” Mattie reached for his cock.
He meant to push her hand away and take care of it himself, but he found himself watching her hand wrap around his shaft, slowly curing her fingers around his soft dick. Her palm was cold, but his body succumbed to her touch. He braced for the fierce carnal hunger, but it didn’t wash over him or even trickle down his spine.
“Put your hands on her tits.”
Mattie paused, her fingers stilled, and she arched her back, sticking her breasts out. He reached. The strips of wool were dry, and one by one, he tugged the bindings down, freeing one breast then the other. The weight of her heavy flesh filled his palms. She leaned forward, and he flicked his thumbs across her tight nipples. She closed her eyes, dropping her head back to reveal the soft skin of her neck. The ratty chunks of her hair swayed across her shoulders. A clump of ice fell and created a rivulet than ran downward. After a murmur, she lifted one leg and secured it around his waist.
She reached around him to grab her foot, then rocked, using the tip of his shaft to caress her clit, and said, “Let’s get this over with.” But instead of guiding his dick into her pussy, she continued to sway, rocking back and forth, using the gradual motion to get constant friction on her nub.
He went along with what she wanted, swaying, feeling her cool body get wetter and wetter. Gently, her reached around and cupped her ass. “I like it,” he said, without thinking.
For a split second she stalled, tensed, then he felt a gradual change. It was almost imperceptible, but it was there, a flash of rigidity that turned into indifferent acceptance. “Fuck me, Hayden,” she ground out, the words a command, then she guided his dick into her pussy, further and further, until his tip bounced against her wall. He raised his hand to curved one arm around her waist.
Still holding one breast, he drove into her, feeling the wet, cool tightness squeezing over his shaft. She bucked against him. He matched her rhythm, rocking into her, sliding in and out, feeling the inside of her body as though it was his first time with her. She groaned and held on to him, arching her back, moving her body with practiced perfection, pumping with increased speed and skill. He bent down and tried to suck her nipple but their bodies were moving too quickly so he began kissing her icy flesh instead.
The guard’s voice slashed through the darkness. “Give me something to watch, asshole. Make it fucking hot.”
Hayden froze, then moved back.
The voice came again. “You want the books? Start fucking like you mean it dude.”
Mattie continued writhing, showing her body off for a creep she’d never ever see.
There was nothing to do now but get it done.
Hayden moved his hand around to her back then lifted her skirt, grabbed her ass with both hands. He pulled her closer, ground into her pubic bone, and waited for the bleak promise of dark sexual release. Instead, he fell into a different kind of abyss, an unfamiliar one filled with torrid lights and disturbing colors. Still he waited for the harsh, soul-blurring orgasm that always same with sex with Mattie, but instead found himself sharing her own sensations, felling her slick walls squeeze his cock as she came. Her quickened breath was soft against his neck, whispers of air that gave him a different sort of chill.
Their exchange was completely different, dishonest in ways he couldn’t comprehend right then and knew he wouldn’t want to think about later. Even before the last pulses of cum left his cock, Hayden shoved her away then jerked up his pants and hooked his belt.
Mattie avoided his gaze as she lowered her skirt and tugged up the red wool straps that barely covered her flushed breasts. “I’ll meet you out front.” She hopped off the stage and headed to the door, her boots striking the floor with a heavy thumps. Her jacket trailed behind her. A flash a light same from the hall when she passed through the door,
The guard was marching down the aisle, his wide middle swaying side to side as he moved. “It wasn’t hot like before.”
Hayden leapt off the stage. “Fuck you, asshole.”
“No, fuck you.”
Hayden lunged forward, grabbed the man’s arm, twisting it behind his back as he wrenched it upward. “You got what you asked for. The books.”
He guard grunted. “What if I don’t?”
Hayden lifted the man’s arm, shoving it up between his shoulder blades as he guided the guy further up toward where his voice had been coming from. “Start walking, I’m right behind you.”
The guard should have known, even wonder kids had their limits.
* * *
About an hour later, clutching the straps of his backpack, Hayden rounded the corner then paused, looking at the white blink of the tiny lights hanging from the trees lining Commonwealth. Some of the snow was gone from the branches, so the lights glowed more brightly than the last time he’d bothered to notice. It was all so lovely, so normal. But it was just that, an illusion.
“Very, very pretty.” Mattie stood beside him, looking over the Instagram perfect scene, but the snarl curling the corners of her mouth assured him that she too felt out of place there.
Instead of replying, he started walking again, moving his gaze back to the grey sky and heavy clouds. They had the books, now he had to keep on and see what more he could find. Thanks to an all-access press pass Bob had arranged him for the comic convention starting the next morning, Hayden would be able to get to every event—including the cocktail party being put on by the publisher of that book. The author was going to be there, probably downing the custom drinks created around the party theme. Maybe the guy would drink enough alcohol to tell Hayden every little thing he knew. If the drinks didn’t do the trick, Hayden would find another way to get the information. Any other way.
The thud of Mattie’s boots sounded from behind him. They hadn’t spoken since meeting up on the library steps. The only exchange was her grabbing his shoulder bag, digging through to make sure he had the books, then shoving him in the direction of his apartment. They’d be inside in a matter of minutes, finally getting a chance to read through the book. Hayden was doubtful the book was really going to deliver anything significant. Most likely, that information was going to have to come from the man himself.
Once he got more, Bob Keeler was going to be thrilled, out-of-his-mind ecstatic. It was almost time to get Bob to deliver on that promise. In a couple months, if he made it through this, Hayden might not be avoiding his student loan payment app or dodging those pain in the ass questions at parties. Shit, he’d like to see the looks on his cohorts’ faces when his feature stories started showing up in The Globe. This stint at the Weekly would be a thing of the past, something to put in his bio to amp up his street cred.
A couple strolled the boulevard, swinging their arms as they walked. Four kids, bundled up so much they
could barely move, circled a lumpy snowman. The hat they’d brought for him was an oversize straw sombrero embroidered with flowers, probably a souvenir from Mexico. Across from them, an old man sat on a bench, huddled into his coat and scratching his collie’s snow sprinkled head. Back Bay Boston on a dark mid-December evening. Snowmaggeddon was a memory and, except for the piles of snow, the harsh blizzard forgotten.
Except for the impulsive, dangerous creature trailing behind him, just beyond his shoulder. He turned, ready to break the silence between them by asking her what she expected to find in the book, but she was gone. He stopped dead, dug into the shoulder bag. The book by Belmont was gone too.
Chapter Nine
“Start fucking like you mean it.”
Friday about noon, Hayden shoved through the mass of gyrating bodies. The stink of nervous energy, stale sweat, and cheap rubber clung to him like a second skin, and every time he brushed against another of the convention attendees, the sheen coating his skin got thicker. The threat of another announced that morning had done nothing to slow the crowds. The place was wall-to-wall comic nerds, milling around in a collective trance. Everywhere he turned, there was another cluster--larpers carrying swords and wearing leather, women in tall white socks and short plaid skirts, but most of all there were blood-soaked, tattered and torn zombies. All of these freaks were hoping to catch of glimpse of their favorite artist, writer, gamer, or, thanks to that damn movie, zombie actor.
As for him--he was dressed in jeans and a green Pendleton sweater, and looking for that one man. The asshole who, now that he thought of it, was to blame for the whole fucked up mess. What kind of person tracks a tribe of zombies anyway? Then, considering his own actions, banished the query. Apparently, though, Belmont thought he was some sort of too famous to meet face-to-face rock star or a politician seeking immunity before talking to the press. One damn email, the man could’ve answered just one fucking message. Hayden had been at the convention for almost two hours and so far, nothing. The all-access pass wasn’t doing him much good. Each reception room he’d been granted entrance into seemed to be packed with other low-level press hoping for any sort of scoop and other all-access pass holders, standing around, getting in the way.
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