by Emma Davies
Maddie nodded. ‘But I thought there were protocols and stuff, so that donors remained anonymous?’
‘There are. And counsellors, and a whole host of people who talk these things through with you, so that if you do decide you want to contact one another you know what you’re letting yourself in for, and believe me when I say it’s quite a ride.’ She grimaced at the memory. ‘There’s absolutely no possibility of contact for the first two years for exactly that reason, but after that the donor can request to make contact. You’re supported through it very carefully.’
‘So, that’s what Seth did?’
‘He did, and I was really struggling at the time, emotionally and financially; I’d lost my job because of all the time off I had to have, and so I thought very carefully before I agreed to meet Seth. I mean, he’d done enough for me as it was and I knew that I would be in danger of using him as some kind of crutch.’ She stopped for a moment to compose herself. ‘Of course, in a way, that’s exactly what did happen. It happened to us both… for different reasons, and that was hard to come to terms with.’ She frowned. ‘Really hard.’
‘How come?’
‘Well, for one thing, the local press had a field day with it. You know what they’re like. They tried to throw us together at every available opportunity, citing Seth’s motives as purely romantic… It almost became an expectation we had to live up to, regardless of the fact it wasn’t true. Bizarrely though, it did sort of push us together – dealing with the fallout of the papers’ interest was hard and we supported each other through that too. But when that all died down I was scared that once we’d stopped needing one another, we’d discover that’s what our entire relationship had been built upon, and that would be the end of it.’
Maddie thought for a moment. ‘I can understand that, up to a point,’ she said. ‘But why was Seth so dependent on you? There was no reason for him to be, surely.’
For a second Clara looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights. She dropped her gaze quickly, her hands twisting together in her lap.
‘That probably came out wrong,’ she said, recovering herself. ‘What I meant was that when two people get thrown together in unusual circumstances the emotions can be pretty intense. That’s what all the safeguards are in place for. Once we’d worked out that there was never going to be anything romantic between us, things were fine.’
‘So, no regrets?’ said Maddie gently, ashamed to say she felt an almost overwhelming relief.
There was a soft smile in reply. ‘I think there might have been once upon a time; I had a bit of a crush on Seth.’ She looked up with a grin. ‘Okay, a fairly major crush, but I got over it, and given the circumstances, it’s definitely for the best. I still love him to bits of course, but platonically, simply because of who he is, and without all the emotional stuff getting in the way.’
It was on the tip of Maddie’s tongue to ask what the given circumstances were, but she bit back the question. Clara had been extraordinarily open and generous in sharing her story with Maddie and it would be churlish to probe any deeper.
‘So did all this happen before or after you came to live round here?’
‘Oh before, thank God, I don’t think I’d still be here otherwise.’ She rubbed her eye. ‘We had a very long chat once we figured out what was going on. Did the “no hard feelings and all that” routine and then to my amazement Seth invited me to live here. Of course, what he actually needed was a gardener to bring some sort of order to the chaos that was here when I arrived, but he dressed it up very nicely… and so, here I am. For a while I stayed here in the house, but I had my own life to rebuild and so with my parents’ help, I was able to move out to a little rented cottage in the village where I could live more independently.’
‘And are things okay now? I mean you’re going to move back on site, so does that mean you’re not fully recovered?’
‘No, I’m okay,’ she said, laying a hand on the table. ‘Touch wood,’ she added. ‘There’s no guarantees. Even now my body could still reject the transplant, and the drugs I take to help combat this suppress my immune system so infections can be really tricky. I’ve had a couple of those recently and it made me realise how scary it can be on your own. Plus, I’d much rather be on site and in the thick of it all, particularly now with everything going on. But I’m lucky; I work outdoors instead of in a stuffy, germ-laden office, so things are pretty good. Seth can be a bit over-zealous at times if he thinks I’m overdoing things, but I can hardly complain.’
Maddie regarded her solemnly. ‘Thank you for sharing this with me, Clara, really; it explains a lot. I just hope I haven’t put you in too difficult a position. There’s obviously a great deal I need to talk to Seth about, things that happened before I came here, but I promise I’ve done nothing wrong. If I had, I wouldn’t still be here.’
‘Like I said, Maddie, I trust you…’ She trailed off, her mouth curving into a grin. ‘But do anything to hurt Seth and you’re a dead man… woman.’
Maddie wasn’t entirely sure if she was joking.
Chapter 16
It wasn’t a surprise that Maddie couldn’t sleep, but it was damned annoying. Clara’s revelations that afternoon had been going around her head for hours, as, of course, had her own predicament, and just when she felt herself losing the iron grip she had on her thoughts enough to let her sleep, another thought would arrive centre stage and she’d be back to square one.
The trouble was, the more she thought about Seth and Clara’s story, the more she wanted to stay at Joy’s Acre, and because of that, perversely, it was only too easy to convince herself that she was on her way out. Her recent history had only proved that honesty and integrity were lost in the world and, yet, here were two people who seemed to live their lives according to these principles.
The insight that it gave into each of their characters also intrigued her. She couldn’t comprehend what it must be like to have death stare you in the face like that. The worst she had ever suffered was the occasional bout of flu and a broken arm from falling out of a tree as a child. And yet, Clara’s whole adult life had been punctuated by ill health, and her crisis had come when she was only in her late twenties, the same age as Maddie was now. It was no wonder that Clara surrounded herself with living things, anything in fact that she could nurture and grow, and Maddie got the feeling it was not just plants that she turned her attention to.
Seth, by contrast, was a very driven person. He was tenacious and unceasing in his desire to achieve the things he wanted, but Maddie knew from experience that this often came in place of something that was missing, an overriding yearning to fill a gap – left by what, in Seth’s case, Maddie had no idea. He was also a very private person, made into somewhat of a local hero following the widely published account of his saving of Clara’s life, and this had obviously not sat easily with him. His current desire to keep the latest outing by his white knight persona quiet was understandable, but again she had the feeling that his keeping things under wraps was serving some other purpose.
She plumped the edge of her pillow in frustration and then picked it up, turning it over in an attempt to find a cool, wrinkle-free spot. She nestled her cheek against the cotton and closed her eyes again, willing her mind to quieten. She had a multitude of questions but none would get answered now, in fact, they might never get answered at all…
A sudden thud sounded in the quiet night. Maddie raised her head, listening. It had come from somewhere close, inside the house she felt, rather than outside. She raised herself onto her elbows. It wasn’t the sound of a door opening, and there were no tell-tale footsteps across the landing. Beside her, Rumpus was curled in his now habitual place at the foot of the bed. All quiet.
She swung her legs out of the covers and sat up, sinking her toes into the soft, cool rug. A big part of her was keen to climb straight back into bed, but she’d tossed and turned for so many hours, the thought of walking about and stretching was quite appealing. She stood up and walke
d to the bedroom door, silently pulling it open and peering out onto the landing. A stifled expletive floated down the hallway.
Maddie had never been in Seth’s room before and the door was always closed. However, at some point during her conversation with Clara had sprung the notion that she would very much like to find out more about him, and her hand was tapping lightly on his door before she could stop herself.
A soft light lit the room; it was large and airy and, like hers, overlooked the garden. One of the two windows was wide open and the curtain stirred gently in the breeze. Seth had obviously been propped up in bed, but was now slumped to one side, a pained expression on his face. He looked extremely uncomfortable. A dark patch was clearly visible on the carpet beside the bed, an upturned glass by its side.
Seth looked up, startled, his expression rapidly turning to annoyance. He practically growled at her as she approached the bed and bent to pick up the glass.
She hovered uncertainly for a moment. Knowing the things about Seth she now did, it was obvious that he would feel very uncomfortable about her presence, and yet how could she possibly ignore his obvious need for a drink? Particularly when she spotted the packet of painkillers on the bedside cabinet, an untouched sandwich lying beside them, dry and crusty-looking. She refilled the glass from the jug of water that had also been thoughtfully left by Clara.
He tutted. ‘I can get it myself.’ His voice was harsh with irritation.
Normally Maddie would have been tempted to replace the glass on the carpet and watch him struggle, but instead she sat gently on the edge of the bed.
‘Probably not,’ she said. ‘By the sound of things you’re in need of painkillers too. Can I get some for you?’
Seth closed his eyes and laid his head back against the pillow. He licked his lips.
‘They’re in that packet, there. Thank you.’
She checked the dosage and popped out two tablets.
‘How many of these have you already had?’ she asked. The packet was half full.
‘Not enough,’ he replied, his eyes still closed. ‘And don’t lecture me, you’re as bad as Clara.’
‘I haven’t said a word!’
He opened one eye cautiously, and then the other. ‘No, but you were going to, I can tell.’
Maddie smiled, knowing how right he was. Not that she would ever admit it of course.
She held out her hand. ‘Here,’ she said, dropping the tablets into his open palm. She watched as his fingers curled slowly over them. He made no further move. ‘Do you need some more help?’ she asked. ‘To sit up, I mean.’
There was a sigh of frustration. ‘I can manage,’ he said.
She ignored him, getting up and crossing to the other side of the bed. She knelt on the vacant side, slid an arm around his shoulders, and gently pulled him into a more upright position. The skin around the edge of his tee shirt was hot and damp. Then she wedged a couple of pillows behind him and one to the side to try and support him.
‘Better?’ she asked. He ignored her.
She moved back to her original position on his other side and picked up the water.
‘Right, come on then. You need to take those.’ She held the glass against his other hand, pushing it so he had no choice but to take it.
Eventually he lifted the tablets to his mouth and followed them with the entire glass of water.
‘The word you’re looking for is thanks,’ she said.
‘Maddie, I didn’t ask you to come in here…’
‘No, you didn’t. But now that I am, you could at least be civil, I’m only trying to help. Not that you need any help of course, I know that.’ She held his look. ‘And before you say anything else, I know you’re in a lot of pain. I also know why.’
There, she had said it. She had nothing to lose, and whatever happened in the next few hours, at least she would feel they had been honest with one another.
‘And before you go getting angry at Clara, I wormed it out of her. I’m not stupid, Seth, I could see there was something more to your trip than you were letting on, and both she and I felt it was daft that I didn’t know what that was. For goodness’ sake, what does it matter if I do? Who could I possibly tell?’
A muscle was working in his jaw.
‘She still had no right to do that.’
‘No? Given what we’re trying to achieve here, I’d say she had every right.’ As soon as she said it she realised her mistake.
Seth raised an eyebrow, and she held up her hand.
‘Yes, I know. In all likelihood, by this time tomorrow, I’ll no longer be here. Not if Agatha has her way anyway.’
‘True. She certainly seemed to be baying for your blood. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so excited. She must think she has very good reason.’
Maddie wasn’t sure whether he was teasing her or not.
‘And what do you think?’
An inordinately long amount of time seemed to pass before he answered.
‘Maddie, I’ve already had Clara bend my ear once this evening—’
Maddie stood up. ‘Do you need anything else?’ she asked. ‘Because if not, I’ve probably got packing I could be getting on with.’
‘It’s the middle of the night…’
‘Yes, it is.’
‘But I could actually murder a cup of tea…’
She stared at him.
‘And a couple of biscuits or something, I’m starving…’
It was hugely tempting to slam the door behind her, but it was, as Seth said, the middle of the night, and Clara, who had stayed in case she was needed, would hopefully be asleep. Maddie pulled open the door and was just about to close it behind her when he spoke again.
‘You could get yourself a cup too, and then I could tell you what I said to Clara… about how you were set up…’
She turned around. There was a soft, but weary smile on Seth’s face. She smiled a reply.
* * *
‘So, you knew all along. You total bastard!’
Seth grinned at her. ‘Look, believe me, it was a hell of a lot easier just to get rid of Agatha than to enter into a conversation. If she knew I’d already had an email from her niece there would have been no stopping her. Besides which, when I got it, all I did was just poke around a little, ask a few questions of a few people… Agatha’s niece is not the only one with contacts in London and I thought it best to check out the facts before I returned home… I’m still not actually sure what happened of course, what I learned was mostly hearsay.’
Maddie took a biscuit from the plateful she had brought back to Seth’s room. She felt rather like a naughty schoolgirl having a midnight feast after lights-out, but at least they both seemed to be feeling a little better.
Seth had perked up somewhat after a huge mug of tea, or perhaps the painkillers were kicking in. Either way at least he had been at pains to put her mind at rest as soon as she had reappeared, even if he had teased her about it first.
‘I’d settle for positive hearsay if that’s all I’m going to get. At least it means the gossip about me is not all bad—’ She broke off suddenly. ‘Not that I’m looking to go back, you understand, not now… It’s just that it’s been a tough few months.’
‘So tell me what did happen. I don’t believe Natalie’s version of events, I’ve come across her sort before, but she did seem very sure of her facts.’
Maddie drew in a breath. It still wasn’t an easy subject for her to speak about. And she could imagine very well how Natalie would have phrased her email to Seth; it would have made for damning reading.
‘Well, essentially the facts she told you were true. I was sacked from my last job for gross misconduct. Supposedly I stole another colleague’s ideas and passed them off as my own, and when I was found out I made up some cock-and-bull story about how it was, in fact, the other way around. I mean, the sheer audacity of it.’
‘And your references?’
‘Ironically, were absolutely true. Except that when you
put that together with the fact that I was fired from my job, it completely invalidates them of course.’
‘But why give you references in the first place?’
Maddie sighed. ‘Because I threatened to take the company to court for unfair dismissal. I doubt I would have won. In fact, I would probably have been crushed like a bug on a windscreen, but it’s an industry that’s only as good as its reputation and, while there was the tiniest bit of doubt that any mud would stick, they couldn’t risk it. So I was promised a pay-off and good references if I kept my mouth shut. I really didn’t have any choice. Win or lose, no one would employ me with a history like that, not in London anyway.’
Seth gave an amused smile. ‘And so here you are.’
‘Indeed.’
‘Still causing trouble…’
She looked up sharply.
‘Just kidding!’ There was a glimmer of something in his eyes as she held his look but then he dropped his gaze, shifting a little in the bed, straightening a leg, and grimacing at the pain the movement caused. ‘It can’t have been easy.’
‘It wasn’t. I was betrayed by someone I thought was my friend. I even trained her, taught her everything she knew, and then when the time came for promotion she won out over me. And even that was fine; her presentation was honestly better than mine, and I didn’t mind, I was happy with the clients I had and I wasn’t precious about sharing my ideas either. That really is what’s ironic about the whole situation. If she was struggling I would have helped her out. She only had to ask.’
‘So your boss did steal your ideas?’
‘Not only that but she managed to make out I was spectacularly useless as well. I’m not sure which was worse.’ She pulled a face. ‘My boss, Nina, had just lost out on an account – it happens, you can’t win them all. But when the next client came along looking for ideas, the head of division asked four of us to submit, and Nina wasn’t one of them, although as client liaison manager, our presentations would still have to go through her. That happens too, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s just rotation of workload. So, I got started on my ideas, along with three of my other colleagues, when all of a sudden Nina pulled me off the job, telling the client that I was no longer available, which, incidentally, is code for my ideas were shit and it would look bad for the agency if I were to submit them. Lo and behold, Nina then submits them as her own, and the client goes for it. I knew they would; they were bloody good ideas.’
