She hated Arizona not because of Arizona, because she missed home. Her sophomore year, she transferred to UC. We thought it’d be cool, we survived the long distance thing my freshman year in Arizona, we figured we’d make it a couple more years. We didn’t. By Christmas, I’d met someone else and realized I was not the kind of man who was not going to taste the variety of flavors life had on offer. Because of that, I also realized what I had with Bree was more about history and friendship than what it takes to make the long haul. I came home, talked to her about it, she was not in that place and wasn’t happy about it but she had no choice. I was done.”
Oh man. Harsh.
Honest, but harsh.
I pulled in breath but kept quiet and Brock continued.
“I went back after Christmas and so did she. She got it about a month later.” He grinned.
“I got good taste and she was seriously fuckin’ pretty. Available for the first time since she hit the dating game, she had ‘em eatin’ out of her hands. She enjoyed the fuck outta that. She connected with me in the summer when we were both home and told me she got it. I was pleased as fuck, she was a good friend and I missed her. Our relationship changed and it got better ‘cause, like I said, she was a great friend and she was damn fun to be around. We had good times. We still had each other’s families. It worked.”
I nodded again.
Brock kept on with his story and I knew we were hitting the hard part when his eyes got dark.
“She had an older cousin and when I say that, he was a second cousin nearly old enough to be her father. Like my family, hers was close. I knew them all and I did not like this fuckin’
guy’s vibe, never did. Bree was immune to it. To her, family was family even if they were weird, nuts or off. That was the kinda heart she had, she let everyone in and didn’t ask questions.”
Oh man.
“By this time, I was out of school, went to the Academy and was an officer with the DPD
workin’ toward detective. She had graduated, workin’ full-time but still goin’ to school at night to get her Master’s degree. One night, he shows outta the blue, she lets him in.”
“Brock,” I whispered when that darkness in his eyes intensified and his fingers dug into my flesh and didn’t loosen. “Maybe you should stop.”
“Can you handle it?” he asked.
“If you need me to,” I answered.
“That ain’t a good answer, sweetness.”
“Then, yes, I can handle it.”
He examined my face. Then his fingers loosened.
Then he carried on, “He fucked her up, Tess. We’re talkin’ bad and that shit’s bad anytime but hers was worse, violated her and laid her out. Beat the fuckin’ shit outta her before he raped her and he didn’t do it once, he spent all night with her and did it repeatedly. She was so fucked up, she reported it took her half an hour to crawl to the phone after he was gone.
She was in a hospital bed two weeks. This guy fucked her up and this guy was fuckin’
whacked. When I got him and we finally got his DNA, it showed Bree was his fifth or at least she was the fifth who reported it.”
“Oh my God,” I whispered and he nodded.
“Compulsion,” Brock told me. “Uncontrollable. That was why he fucked up and went after family. In interrogation, they broke him. He’d had his eye on her for fuckin’ years, beat it back, that night, whatever broke in him broke and he couldn’t beat it back anymore.”
“So,” I said hesitantly, “you got him?”
He nodded. “Wasn’t my case ‘cause I didn’t have cases. I was still in uniform. Levi and me went to go see her, took some time ‘cause her fuckin’ jaw was wired shut, but she finally got out the basics of what went down and I took leave because he’d gone to ground and they couldn’t find him. He knew he fucked up. He was in hiding, preparin’ to bolt. I hunted him down and we’ll just say when I found him, I did not exactly follow procedure.”
Damn.
“You hurt him,” I whispered.
“Remember what I said to you about what I wanted to do with Heller?”
I nodded.
“I did that to him and I did it in a way I know he still hasn’t forgotten me. And the DPD
frowned on that. I was suspended and it was investigated. I didn’t fuckin’ care. It was worth it to me then and it’s worth more to me now even though, then and now, I knew I fucked up.”
“They didn’t fire you,” I noted.
“No, don’t know why, they should have. What I did weakened their case. What I did made it so his case mighta been thrown out and it was iron tight with his DNA matching multiple samples and women making solid IDs. What I did fucked those cases too. But they didn’t can my ass and the case didn’t get tossed because it didn’t go to trial. Family pressure, he confessed to all five. His confession swung good my way and since the case didn’t get fucked, with me, they said extenuating circumstances. I had a good record, I was a good cop and my captain had taken to me, saw in me that I’d have a good career so he took my back and so did some brothers on The Force. And everyone knew who she was to me and they knew what he did to her and, right or wrong, all of them, someplace inside them, knew the same thing happened to someone they gave a shit about, they’d either do what I did or consider it. They still gave me shit work, put me at a desk and this is why I know desk work is not for me. I worked my way outta that shit and back on the beat. Then to detective.
Through this, Bree went off the rails and then she went down. Heroin. OD. Everyone, including me, tried to pull her outta that shit. We couldn’t. Watchin’ her descend into that world was like a form of torture, not only watchin’ her but watchin’ her Mom and Dad and sisters watch her while bustin’ their asses and failin’ to get her straight. Don’t know how many times I was called in ‘cause she was in a holding cell, strung out, dazed, not even knowin’ where the fuck she was and that she was pulled in for solicitation on a sweep. Too fucked up even to be smart enough to avoid getting arrested no matter how many times it happened. Suckin’ cock for twenty dollars so her pimp would keep her supplied. The last time I saw her breathing, I barely recognized her.”
Oh God, God.
“Honey,” I said gently.
“It was fucked, Tess.”
“Yes, it was, baby,” I whispered. “So you decided to do something about it and moved to the DEA?” I ventured cautiously.
He closed his eyes and drew breath in his nose.
I waited.
Then he opened his eyes.
“She was my first,” he said quietly, his voice thick and I pressed closer. “I still loved her, Tess. Not the same as when we started but she was a big part of my life. Does somethin’ to a man to have that kind of person in his life, to be able to laugh with her about shit that went down when you were fifteen and have her end like that. She was the first to go down on me, to take my cock and to think she sold the beauty she had to give for dope burned out my insides. She was the first woman to tell me she loved me. She shared her dreams with me, Tess. What she wanted to do, where she wanted to go, how many kids she wanted to have. At one time in our lives, we talked about those things in a way we thought we’d be sharin’ them.
So, yeah, I was driven to do something about it. But Levi was wrong; he didn’t see her in a holding cell. He didn’t see all she turned out to be. I knew she was gone before she was gone and I let her go way before that and I did that for my own peace of mind because I already nearly lost my career and fucked over four other girls who needed justice gettin’ too tied to what happened to her and not makin’ smart decisions. I didn’t do what I did on a crusade to bring her back. I did what I did because Bree isn’t the only girl out there with family who loves them and old boyfriends who give a shit facin’ that life and someone had to help them and I decided that someone would be me.”
At that, it swelled inside me, so huge and so fast, I couldn’t stop myself from blurting, “I love you.”
“I
know,” he replied.
“No,” I shook my head and got close, “I love you, Brock Lucas.”
His eyes lost that darkness and his hand in my hair slid down and curled around my neck.
“Baby,” he murmured.
“What you did, you saved a lot of girls,” I whispered fiercely.
“I know.”
“That’s beautiful,” I told him.
“Tess –”
“And that’s her legacy as well as yours,” I stated.
He stared at me.
I kept talking. “You cared about her that much to do what you did for others, it was you doing it, putting yourself out there but it was how you felt about her that pushed you to do it and she was the kind of person who made you feel that deeply so she gets that part. She died tragically but her death meant something to the futures of a lot of other people and that’s beautiful.”
“I never thought of it like that,” he said quietly.
“Well, start,” I ordered.
He looked into my eyes a moment then started chuckling.
“Shit, babe, when’d you start gettin’ bossy?”
“Christmas. It does shit to people,” I answered and his chuckling got louder.
Then he asked, “We done pourin’ out our hearts?”
“For now,” I replied and he smiled again.
Then his smile faded, a warm, sultry feeling filled the room, his eyes dropped to my mouth and his fingers pressed into my neck.
Then he muttered, “All right, then let’s go to bed.”
I stared into quicksilver eyes that were staring at my mouth, the eyes of the man who loved me, the eyes of a wild, rough, beautiful man who I knew but the proof had just been laid out for me felt exceptionally deeply and had an endless capacity for loyalty and I didn’t protest.
Not that I was going to anyway.
Chapter Fifteen
Unexpected Company
One month later…
It was Saturday and Brock had just gone out for a run, his weekend with his boys having been interrupted by them being invited to a party and they were currently there. He was set to return, shower then take off and get them and I wasn’t going to see him again until Sunday night as he intended to have “a talk” with them (in quotes because it was going to be heavy) about all that was going down.
While he was gone, I was putzing around in my kitchen.
It was my first full day off since two weeks before Christmas because Tessa’s Cakes had been a madhouse and it was all hands on deck.
The good news about this was, I could afford more nighties.
The other good news about this was, when I pulled myself out of bed every day and then dragged my ass home every night arriving late, exhausted, only to face Christmas crap (cards, wrapping presents I ducked out from work to buy or ran around the malls to get on the way home – we’ll just say my Christmas spirit took a hit), Brock didn’t like it much and told his mother about it. So of course she told her daughters about it. Then I got a visit at the bakery from Jill with Kalie and Kellie in tow and both girls were looking for jobs (Kalie, to buy Christmas presents and also to aid her goals in helping to save the world as well as for college, Kellie to buy Christmas presents and then continue to work her way to top fashionista of the sophomore class) and they wanted to work at Tessa’s Cakes.
I hired them on the spot.
They were still on the payroll working some evenings and weekends and, although business had slowed, it was not by much. They were godsends considering they were punctual, understood customer service, were hard workers, didn’t like to be bored and they were hilarious. Kellie was even learning how to decorate cakes.
In other words, they were two of the reasons I could finally have a day off.
The bad news about this was, I was overworked, exhausted and my Christmas spirit had been drained out of me. Not to mention, I didn’t have it in me to stay on the ball with all that was happening around me. Therefore I pretty much didn’t know what was happening around me because Brock locked himself straight into protective mode and told me not to worry about that shit, instead focus on the bakery and Christmas.
And I probably shouldn’t have taken him up on that but I did.
It wasn’t really true that I had no days off. I had Christmas off and New Years. But neither of these were days off, as such, considering the activity levels. Firstly, Mom was taking a long visit, enjoying an Australian summer with my sister, there Thanksgiving through the New Year so I had to be up at an ungodly hour to get their Skype. Then Brock only got the boys for half a day on both days and half that time needed to be spent having Christmas lunch/New Year’s dinner at his mother’s house, the other half at his pad and then they had to get back home so we were running around most of the day and I was doing my damnedest to make them good days for the boys because Olivia was still filling their head with garbage about me. They were visibly confused, worried about the state of affairs, worried about their Dad and struggling with loyalty to their Mom in how they dealt with me.
So, suffice it to say, even protected from that shit by Brock, it still leaked in and I had also descended from really not liking Olivia to pretty much hating her.
Brock had had two dinners with Olivia since the first drama (yes, two, the bitch). This did not fill me with joy but luckily I was too exhausted to build up any emotion about it because that emotion would probably not have been pleasant and Brock came home from both dinners looking like he wanted to rip someone’s head off so I needed to look after my man.
In other words, just like Elvira warned, Olivia was playing every game in the book, not listening to a word Brock said and that situation had not gone away.
Though, that said, after dinner number two, Brock came home not only looking like he wanted to rip someone’s head off but also declaring, “That’s it, done with that shit,” which I suspected meant dinner number three would happen when hell froze over. And this was also part of the reason for “the talk” with his boys this weekend.
I had no clue what Damian was doing and Brock didn’t fill me in. I figured my man was honest enough with me that he would tell me if there was something I needed to know so I kept my head down and did what he told me to do, focused on what I needed to be doing and that was not lapsing into a coma.
So right then, due to pure habit, I was in my kitchen thinking for the first time in my life if I saw a cake I’d scream my head off.
And thus I was also realizing that I hadn’t had a vacation in over a year and I was wondering, since Brock hadn’t been in his job too long, if he could get a week off and we could go to a beach somewhere.
And when my mind skidded into this thought, it moved onto other thoughts of beaches, water, tropical drinks that tasted like liquid candy and the fact that local fashion dictates would mean for the vast majority of time Brock would be in nothing but swim trunks.
And this was what was pleasantly occupying my mind when a knock came at the door.
My pleasant thoughts evaporated, I looked at the door and my first instinct was to run downstairs and hide in the guest room.
Another knock came and I heard Martha shout, “Tess! I know you’re in there because I can see your car and his new fancy-ass truck! Open up!”
Oh man.
Martha was on a tear.
I sucked in breath reconsidering the guest room and instead considering escaping out the back.
Then, because it was Martha, I walked to the door.
I opened it to see Martha plus Elvira as well as another black woman with tawny eyes and an enormous afro that had to have its own zip code and they were all accompanied by a woman who, at first glance I would have sworn was Dolly Parton. After blinking, I saw she was younger but she still had the masses of fabulous platinum hair, enormous bosoms and she was wearing skintight stonewash (yes, stonewash) from shoulders to toes (including platform boots made of stonewash). The entirety of this was adorned with what looked like a layer of glitter not to menti
on a heavy array of rhinestones decorating the shoulders and down the front of her jeans jacket.
Whoa.
“You exist,” Martha snapped and my eyes moved from Dolly to her.
“Hey,” I said softly.
Suffice it to say, with my life as crazy as it was, I didn’t have time for Martha except for some random texts and quick phone calls.
And suffice it to say, Martha wasn’t down with that.
She pushed in and her posse pushed in with her, Elvira giving me a wide-eyed look that spoke volumes and those volumes were that I needed to brace because Martha was on a tear.
She didn’t have to warn me. I’d known Martha a long time. I knew before I even opened the door.
Damn.
I closed the door behind them, turned and trailed them as Martha made a bee-line to my kitchen, introducing, “This is Shirleen and Daisy, they’re friends of Elvira and Gwen’s.
Gwen met Shirleen during her thingamabob and with Shirleen came Daisy and with Gwen came Elvira and with Elvira comes me and now we’re all here.”
I looked to Shirleen and Daisy and greeted, “Hi guys.”
Daisy gave me a bright smile and I knew she was Daisy because she said, “Hey, I’m Daisy.”
“You’re Tessa of Tessa’s Cakes,” Shirleen (the black lady) announced like I didn’t have that information.
“Yes,” I confirmed.
“I been to your place, like, a lot. Too much. It’s important for a black woman to have booty, but not a Tessa’s Cakes booty. You owe me at least ten pounds, you get what I’m sayin’?” she stated.
“Uh… yeah,” I replied because I did but even if I didn’t, she was kind of scary of the Elvira variety so I still would have agreed.
“Only two things better in the whole world than your frosted sugar cookies with daisy sprinkles and those are pigs in a blanket and a man with a fine package. This I know as fact,”
she declared, I blinked at this unusual compliment, Daisy emitted a little giggle that sounded like bells, Elvira grinned big at me but Martha shouted.
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