by Monroe, Lucy
Life was certainly twisted sometimes.
Grant must have noticed her eyeing the flowers.
“I bought them for her yesterday.”
“I know.”
“I should have given them to her when she insisted on going home, but I was too worried about Bud to think of it.”
“Yeah.”
“Damn it, Zoe. They are her flowers. I’ve got to give them to her.”
“I never said you shouldn’t.”
“Right. Well. So long as you understand.”
Chapter 8
Grant fought to concentrate on the road.
Zoe’s presence and his uncertain feelings toward her distracted him. It really bugged him the way Zoe could go from falling apart in his arms one minute to disinterested sidekick the next. She understood his rules. Didn’t complain about them. Didn’t she know that women were supposed to feel used and abused when men did the things he had done with her in the kitchen without committing to at least a casual relationship?
Zoe acted like the entire incident was nothing more than a small blip in their friendship. She wasn’t even mad that he was giving flowers to Carlene. He should be giving flowers to Zoe. Dozens of them. A man did things like that after experiences like the one they had shared.
It took what was left of his self-discipline not to demand an explanation for her behavior.
A little self-interest was mixed in as well. If he asked her what was making her respond with such insouciance to their passionate encounter, then she might expect him to explain what had happened. He wished he knew. The sight of Zoe hugging Tyler wearing nothing but a scanty piece of terry cloth had sent Grant right over the edge.
Rather than soothe him, her explanation had only made him angrier. More jealous. The feel of Zoe losing control in his arms had been so incredible he had forgotten everything but her.
Until Tyler and Jenny had come back.
Unfortunately, by then it had been too late. Grant was never going to forget the way it had felt to hold Zoe shivering in his arms. He gripped the steering wheel tightly. Never.
Zoe’s prolonged silence finally registered. He shot her a sidelong glance. “You okay?”
She met his eyes briefly, the brown depths of her gaze hiding her thoughts from him. “I’m fine.”
He nodded, refocusing his attention to the road. Right. “You want to check out the apartment complex while I stop by and get things straight with Carlene?”
“That’s what I planned.”
Great. So why did he feel like such a heel?
He dropped her off in front of an apartment complex across the street from the Dry Gulch. He didn’t like the proximity to the bar, but vowed not to argue with her about it. Not unless she actually ended up wanting to rent the place.
Zoe stepped out of the rig. “I’ll come over to the Dry Gulch when I’m done here.”
“Okay. See you in a bit.”
Grant walked into the dim interior of the country and western bar. His eyes took several seconds to adjust to the lack of light after the bright glare of sun off the snow outside. Tim McGraw was singing a ballad with his wife, Faith Hill, over the speaker system. The romantic words made him think of Zoe, and how unromantic he had been with her.
A man was not supposed to be romantic with his best friend—not if he wanted to keep the friendship intact. But what about the woman he spent a mind-blowing passionate encounter with? What about her? And what if they were one and the same? What was a man supposed to do then?
“Hey, Grant. Don’t tell me those are for me?”
The sound of Carlene’s soft Texas drawl interrupted his confused musings. She stood behind the bar, her smile covering more than the tight leather vest that passed as her top.
“I forgot to give them to you last night in all the hullabaloo over Bud.”
She blushed. “That’s so sweet. I felt like such an idiot, leaving and not helping you look for him.”
“He came out on his own. Hamsters are small, but they’re resilient.” He set the flowers on the bar in front of her.
She leaned forward and sniffed them. “Mmmm. These smell wonderful. You’re a real romantic, aren’t you?”
Not if you asked Zoe. “I’m sorry about dinner.”
“Me too. I really am.” She leaned across the bar and touched his cheek, the movement strangely hesitant. “Why don’t we try it again? This time at my place.”
Oh, hell. He moved a step back, breaking the contact of her fingertips with his face. “I…uh…I can’t leave Zoe’s pets without supervision right now.” The lie came out sounding as ridiculous as it was.
Carlene looked down at the roses and then back at him, her expression thoughtful. “Maybe we can work something out.”
“Maybe.” Even as he said the noncommittal word, the image of Zoe’s face as she climaxed filled his mind.
Their friendship had been irrevocably altered that morning, and pretending it hadn’t wasn’t going to change a thing. He did not want to be with any other woman, and it wasn’t fair to Carlene, himself or Zoe to pretend otherwise. He opened his mouth to tell Carlene, but was interrupted by a man demanding another beer from the other end of the bar.
Carlene grimaced. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to go.”
“No problem. Look, I—”
The customer banged loudly with his beer bottle on the bar and Carlene turned away without giving Grant an opportunity to finish his sentence. He’d have to call her later and let her know he wouldn’t be dating anyone but Zoe from here on out.
He wasn’t sure what Zoe would think of that. It hadn’t been the most successful of endeavors when she’d been nineteen and he’d allowed himself to treat her like a woman instead of his best friend for a few mad weeks. The one time he’d let his passion get the better of him, she’d ended up looking like a wounded pup and running from him. He’d been very careful to keep his libidinous thoughts about her under lock and key since.
She hadn’t looked shocked or dismayed in the kitchen, though. And why should she? She was a professional woman now, not an innocent teenager still in college. She’d come back to Sunshine Springs of her own volition. She had the career of her choice and she did not need to be protected from him any longer.
He didn’t know why it had taken him so long to figure that out, but one thing was certain. His attempts to ignore the desire that was always one step away from bucking out of control like an unbroken horse had failed.
When he got outside, he scanned the street and parking lot of the Dry Gulch before noticing Zoe sitting in the truck cab.
He loped over to the navy blue rig and swung open the driver’s door. “I thought you were going to meet me inside.”
She tugged her knitted cap more firmly onto her head, tucking a stray strand of her pretty brown hair under it and behind her ear. “You were busy. I decided to wait here.”
Why had she left the bar without saying anything? “I told you I had to apologize to Carlene.”
Zoe pulled out the newspaper page with several red circles around ads, many of which had already been crossed out. “I think we should concentrate on older apartment complexes. They are more likely to allow pets. Let’s go to the Courtyard. It’s on the other side of town, near the county line.”
Grant knew where Zoe was talking about, and just thinking about her living there was enough to sidetrack him from demanding a reason for her leaving the bar without saying anything. The apartments were in a small rundown complex near the one and only topless bar in the county. “No way.”
She turned hostile brown eyes on him. “I’ve got to find a place to live, and most apartments won’t take pets. The ones that will don’t allow the number I have.”
“You can’t seriously consider living in the Courtyard.”
“Right now, I’d consider just about anywhere.”
“What about that place near the school?”
“No dogs.”
He tossed out several more names and met with t
he same terse reply. No. He could understand her irritation. “I’m not taking you to the Courtyard.”
“Where I live is my decision.” Her bravado melted and she sighed. “It will just be for a little while anyway. I’ll start looking for a house come spring.”
He wondered what had changed her mind about buying a house. He didn’t ask. Instead, he said, “There has to be someplace better, even if it is only temporary.”
She frowned, her pixyish face set in mulish lines. “I don’t want to waste the entire day looking at places that won’t even consider me.”
But that was exactly what they did. Over the next several hours they visited every apartment complex, room for rent and house for rent in the nearby county. No one wanted to rent to a woman who had a large dog, two cats, a hamster, a parrot and a goat.
Grant would not back down and take her to the Courtyard. They argued about it again when they ran out of alternatives.
“Zoe, living in a place like the Courtyard is not an option. I used my cellphone to call the Sheriff’s office while you were talking to that couple about the duplex. They get calls to the Courtyard at least once a week.”
She glared at him. “I’m not going to be causing any disturbances.”
“Don’t be stubborn.” He knew he had hit rock-bottom with his arguments when he asked, “What would your parents think?”
Her silence spoke with more volume than any shouting match.
“Don’t look like that. Just because they aren’t coming home for Christmas doesn’t mean they don’t care about you.” But he decided it was time he called her father and told the older man a few home truths—like that was exactly how Zoe saw their actions. He’d talked more intransigent men than Mr. Jensen into doing what he wanted, and he wanted Zoe’s parents there for her at Christmas. “Your mom would flip if she knew you were even thinking about living there.”
Zoe took the newspaper and folded it with exaggerated precision. She tucked it into the side pocket in the door of the truck, and then pulled her seatbelt across her small waist and buckled it. “Do you want to pick up dinner before you drop me off, or just take me home?”
She had always had a knack for changing the subject when she did not want to dwell on something. He sighed, and started the truck. “Dinner first. I’m starving.”
He pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward Main Street and the few restaurants in Sunshine Springs.
She said, “Okay, but let’s make it a drive-thru. I want to get home. I’ve got work to do, and the cats are probably sick to death of the bathroom.”
He turned onto Main Street. “I have a better idea. Let’s get pizza, pick up your cats and eat at my place. We can drive to the pageant together afterward, and let the cats roam free.”
She looked out the window. “I was thinking about skipping the Nativity Play.”
“I know you get nervous when your kids are on stage, but they’re counting on you to be there.”
Her almost child-size hands clenched in her lap. “You’re right, but you don’t have to go with me. I’m a grown-up. I don’t need you along to hold my hand.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” he asked jokingly.
“Yes.”
He nearly ran one of the only two stoplights on Main. “Why?”
“I think you were right. We need to spend less time together. Tonight seems like the ideal place to start.”
Fear washed over him like water from a mountain stream, leaving his heart cold in its wake. He’d decided to explore the possibilities of a relationship with her and she was pulling away. “I said the kitchen. We need to spend less time together in the kitchen.”
Realizing how idiotic he sounded, he shut up. Damn. He’d known kissing Zoe would be a risk. He was losing her, and he wasn’t even dating her yet. Had she already decided he wasn’t worth compromising her lifestyle for?
His mother had made that decision when he was too young to understand but old enough to remember the pain. His ex-fiancée had followed the pattern his mom had set when she’d dumped him because he had opted to run the ranch rather than stay on the east coast. Even his stepmom, Lottie, was a prime example of the way women used marriage and love to tie men in knots and force them to change or be abandoned.
She’d given his dad an ultimatum: move to Portland and leave the ranch to be run by someone else, or lose her.
His dad had opted to keep his wife—unlike when Grant’s mother had made a similar demand about returning to the east coast, where they had met on one of his frequent business trips. She hadn’t liked life as a rancher’s wife either. Living without the glittery nightlife she’d been used to had been too difficult an adjustment for her to make.
So she’d gone.
He pulled into a parking spot in front of the take-and-bake pizza place.
Zoe gave him a smile tinged with sadness. “That’s not what you meant and we both know it.”
It took him a minute to remember what they’d been talking about. When he did, he felt his insides tighten. “What I know is that I’m not about to stop spending time with you.” He gritted his teeth, but could not stop the words from coming out. “I need you, Zoe.”
She frowned. “You have Carlene. You don’t need me.”
“I don’t have Carlene.”
“You’re seeing her. I heard you in the bar.”
“You heard Carlene ask me to reschedule our date?” Could that be what this cold shoulder was all about?
“Yes.”
“You didn’t eavesdrop long enough, then.”
She huffed. “I was not eavesdropping.”
He grinned. “Right. Look, niña, if you had stuck around a few seconds longer you would have heard me resort to dishonest measures to avoid another date with Carlene.”
Her soft brown eyes mirrored wary hope. “I would?”
“Yes. I told her that I couldn’t leave your pets alone.”
Zoe laughed with disbelief. “Didn’t she think it was odd that you were in town now if that were true? Not to mention the fact that you have a ranch full of hands, even if quite a few are spending time with their families right now?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know.”
The laughter died. “You gave her roses.”
“I explained that. I bought them yesterday. Before.”
She measured him with a look. “Before what?”
“Before we made out on the counter.”
Her face turned crimson. “We didn’t technically make anything.”
He raised his brows and she bit her lip in embarrassment. “We didn’t?”
“Well, maybe I did…”
“Yeah, I’d say you did. And if you’ll let me, I’m going to real soon, too.”
“Are you saying what happened to me on the Pattersons’ kitchen counter changed the dynamics of our relationship or your relationship with Carlene?”
“Both.” Didn’t she feel the same way? If she wanted to forget what had happened, he didn’t know how he was going to oblige her. Not when all he wanted to do was repeat the experience.
“I see.”
“What do you see?”
“You no longer have a rule against kissing me.”
“I’d say it went a whole lot deeper than that.”
“Maybe.” She opened her door and slid out of the truck. Sticking her head back inside, she asked, “Aren’t you coming?”
It wasn’t going to work this time. She was not changing the subject. “Yeah, I’m coming.” But not the way he wanted to be right then.
He got out of the truck and walked around to where Zoe waited for him on the sidewalk in front of the take-out pizza place. “Well?”
She fiddled with something in her purse. “Well, what?”
He frowned, his chest tightening inexplicably. “Don’t play games with me, Zoe. Did it change things for you too?”
She glanced behind him and smiled at someone. “Hello, Mrs. Givens.”
Grant tensed at the sound o
f her former landlady’s name. He had a few things he’d like to say to that old biddy, but right now he wanted an answer from Zoe more.
“Good afternoon, Zoe—Grant.” Mrs. Givens stopped with every evidence of wanting to chat. “Finished with your Christmas shopping yet?”
He fixed his gaze on the older woman. “Zoe’s been a little busy looking for a place to live. She hasn’t had time to do her shopping.”
Zoe gasped and Mrs. Givens frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that. It was a very difficult decision to encourage Zoe to find a new place for her and her pets to live. However, I assumed that since I hadn’t been called for a reference she had decided to move in with you at the ranch.”
“Surely you’ve spoken to Mrs. Patterson?” Zoe said. “She must have told you that they’ve very generously allowed me to stay at their house while I look for a new place.” Grant thought her voice sounded strained.
Mrs. Givens’ eyes widened. “I haven’t spoken to my dear friend since the night you left. I cannot imagine that she has allowed you to move your pets into her home.”
Grant answered for Zoe. “She didn’t. The animals are staying at my ranch.”
“If I had known you would be willing to give up your pets, my dear, I would never have encouraged you to leave.”
Like hell. The old biddy was lying through her teeth to make herself look better, but Grant wasn’t fooled. He gave her the frozen look he usually reserved for boardrooms and drunken ranch hands. “Letting the animals stay at the ranch was my idea. You didn’t leave Zoe with a lot of options when you kicked her out.”
Mrs. Givens drew herself up. “I could not condone rodents living in my house, and I was not merely referring to the animals staying at your house.” She faced Zoe. “I read the advertisement looking for homes for your pets in the weekly.”
He felt his body go tense. “You advertised for homes for your animals?” Damn it, she shouldn’t have had to do that.
Zoe shrugged. “No one was going to rent to me with so many pets.”
Mrs. Givens nodded her agreement. “Well, I’ve got a few more things to pick up before the shops close as well. I’ll see you tonight at the pageant.”
