Then Dale.
Showing up right about the time she and her mom were getting back on their feet and learning to be a family with just the two of them. And so she wasn’t needed anymore. That closeness that’d brought her and her mom together during those months after her father’s death, that was gone for good.
The counselor prompted her again. “You mom and dad?”
Lexi set her chin on her knee. “After my mom got married…”
Mrs. Howell leaned forward, setting her hands in her lap. “Your stepfather?”
Lexi’s eyes focused on the present. Instead of her memories, she saw the school counselor, gazing softly at her.
Sympathy was something people rarely felt for Lexi. She wouldn’t let them. So she opened her mouth to say there was nothing to tell about her stepdad, but truth tumbled out instead. “He gets between me and my mom. He turned her against me.”
As soon as the words were out, Lexi braced herself for Mrs. Howell’s disbelief, but instead the woman leaned back again and said, “Tell me more.”
Part of Lexi wanted to clam up. But another part, the part that had been worn down and wrung out, thought what the hell.
The second part won.
She lifted her chin. “He has this way of making everything my fault, making me look like a complete loser. And my mom believes him, listens to everything he says.” Lexi dropped her feet to the floor and squared her shoulders. “My mom may be stupid enough to still want him around, but I’m not. I wish he’d leave for good. I hate him hanging around trying to pretend he cares about us.”
Mrs. Howell slipped out of her chair and came around to stand near Lexi. “Does your mom know how you feel?”
She’d tried to tell her. Before that, she’d hinted that she hated Dale, but she’d never explained why. She shook her head, understanding for the first time that what she feared most was if she came right out and told her mom what she thought that her mom would take his side. Pick him over her.
The lunch bell shattered the comfortable balance between them, startling Lexi and bringing her back to reality.
She’d opened up, and it scared her. “I better go.”
“Wait—Lexi.” The woman lightly touched Lexi’s arm. “Let me help.”
“There’s nothing you can do. Peter’s not going to come back to life.” Lexi got up and backed away. Not from the woman’s offer of help, but from the pain threatening to break loose and tear apart what little control she had left. “I don’t need any help.”
Mrs. Howell took a step forward. “Sometimes just talking helps. I’d love to listen. We can meet again if you like. I’m sure your mom would want to talk too. You should try it, let her know how you feel.”
For a split second, Lexi believed her. Maybe her mom would listen, start to understand that Dale wasn’t the man she claimed him to be. But years of practice made her snuff out that ray of hope. Believing someone cared, waiting for help. That was a joke with no punchline.
Lexi told the counselor if she wanted to come back, she’d make an appointment. Then she mumbled thanks and left, slipping out the door quickly and without looking back. Sure, for a few seconds it had felt good to put her feelings into words, tell somehow else a tiny bit of what she was thinking. But that didn’t mean she had to open herself up for more pain.
Out in the main office, she locked gazes with a familiar pair of eyes. Monica. One of the do-gooder volunteers sorting out yearbook orders.
The other girl looked odd.
Where was the contempt? The constant reminder of their ‘friendship’?
Then she realized, it was the way Monica had looked at her when they’d been out together, cruising the streets of Cherry Grove—and beyond. It had been a wild, fearless couple of months. Lexi stalled, mesmerized the other girl’s face, caught up in the good parts of those days. Then a guy coming out of one of the other counselor offices bumped into her as he headed for the door. The jolt snapped Lexi out of her confusion and she tore herself away from the once familiar connection she’d shared with Monica. She rushed out of the office, pushing the whole scene out of her head.
No more letting Monica get the best of her, and no way was she going to talk with Mrs. Howell again.
Jazz. She needed Jazz. But that wasn’t going to happen. Her parents had made it clear they were cut off.
Ash.
Think about him.
Steady. Kind. Understanding. Sincere and honest. He was more than she’d ever imagined. If she thought about him, she might make it through the day without falling apart.
Chapter Eleven
Big Girls Don’t Cry, But They Do Get Pissed
Later that afternoon, sickening déjà vu rolled over Lexi as she came through Taylor’s bedroom doorway. Same as the last meeting, Taylor sat in her window seat dressed in a tracksuit—lime green with pink piping this time—and the rest of the boosters were scattered around, wearing their usual casual but planned to an inch of their life outfits. Lacoste, Anthropologie, J. Crew, it was all there.
A difference this time—the expressions on their pretty faces. A mixture of eager speculation and morbid curiosity. A few, like Zoë, actually looked sad. Lexi looked from one booster to the next, wondering what, exactly, was the best way to handle this.
“Hi,” Taylor said, ignoring the stupid way Lexi was standing there, awkwardly staring at all of them. “Come on in and sit down. We’re waiting for Monica.”
At the mention of Monica’s name Lexi’s stomach lurched, but she forced a smile as she perched on the corner of the bed next to Zoë. “Are you okay?”
Zoë leaned over, speaking softly. “Yeah. Thanks for asking. I’m, it’s, well, yeah. I guess I’m all right.”
One of the other girls scooted close. “How about you? How’re you doing, Lexi?”
“Okay, I guess.” It was a lie, but what else could she say?
“Yeah?”
Lexi pressed her lips together and nodded.
Taylor tipped her head and smoothed back her glossy hair. “We’re all really concerned about you, Lexi.”
She angled back and looked at everyone again. “Well. Thanks.” They all stared back at her, their faces expectant. “I’m fine.”
Once they caught on to the fact that she wasn’t about to dish out a second-by-second account of what it was like to find a dead body, the girls started talking about their plans for the upcoming week. Andrea and Betty Ann went on about going to the mall to look at prom dresses—even though the dance was still months away. Sheryl Banter bragged to anyone who’d listen about Isaac, her latest ‘boyfriend’.
Lexi’s own plans consisted of avoiding her mom, Dale and everyone else. Except Ash.
Sudden silence snapped Lexi’s attention away from her dismal thoughts and she turned to see why everyone was staring. Monica, leaning against the doorjamb, smirking like she’d just been made America’s Next Top Model, was the cause. As quickly as they’d stopped, everyone started talking again. Not to each other, but to Monica.
“Hi, Monica!” Sheryl said, tossing her feathered brown hair.
Betty Ann got up and did a mock bow. “Awesome outfit, fashion goddess!”
Someone behind Lexi asked, “Where’d you get your hair blown out?”
Monica answered all the questions, smiling as she pulled a chair over to sit beside Taylor.
Right beside Taylor.
Oh.
Yes. Of course.
Monica had been chosen as next year’s president and no one had bothered to tell her.
“Okay, let’s get going,” Taylor said, turning to Monica, her new best friend.
“I don’t think we need to discuss the auction,” Monica said. “With everything that’s happened, it’s obviously off.”
Everyone nodded, murmuring agreement. Everyone except Lexi, anyway. She sat silently as conversation about the investigation, who the police had questioned, who they hadn’t, tumbled around the room. What was happening to Zeke? Nobody knew. Then the topic turne
d to Peter’s funeral and how it was going to be completely—totally—private. Strictly family only. And all the parents were saying no wakes for the kids.
Taylor waved the conversation away with both hands. “Let’s focus on what we can do to move ahead. We’ll need to make up the money over the summer, which is one of the reasons I’ve called this meeting. The other, of course, is to make it official—I’ve recommended Monica to replace me next year. As always, she’ll start doing the small duties at first and be completely ready to take over when I graduate.”
Bubbles of applause popped all around the room. Lexi patted her hands together, pretending to be happy as her last dream was squashed.
“Okay! Okay!” Taylor and Monica laughed together, their matched smiles toothpaste ad perfect. “I know. It’s awesome news! But we don’t have time to celebrate right now. Not with everything going on.” She lifted her arms to silence the last bit of chatter. As a solution to canceling the auction, Monica suggested we make up the lost money by having a giant garage sale after Thanksgiving or maybe in the spring.”
The girls’ heads jerked up and down. Monica could’ve suggested cleaning people’s basements and they would’ve agreed. The other girls exchanged ideas for the garage sale, but Lexi couldn’t summon the energy to care. The whole boosters thing suddenly seemed so stupid and pointless. What did it matter now? She let the rest of the meeting buzz around her, waiting as the girls sorted out the details for the garage sale.
The air in Taylor’s room was smothering, and she didn’t want to be caught alone with Monica. The second the meeting was called to an end, she said goodbye to Zoë and the others nearby then was the first one out. It was rude to leave without saying goodbye to Taylor and the other seniors, but she didn’t care what the other girls thought anymore.
She was out of the front door and across the lawn in second. After hopping into Saturn, she checked her rearview mirror. Everyone was bunched up with Monica in the center, laughing and accepting hugs. Lexi pulled away from the curb and hit the gas.
So what that she’d left in a rush?
It wasn’t like things could get any worse.
The curves of Taylor’s TV-ready neighborhood had more twists and turns than usual. The wide homes flashed past, turning into a beige blur. When her tires squealed in protest at the awkward throw of the wheel, Lexi realized the houses weren’t flying by. She was driving at twice the legal limit and gripping the wheel so tightly her knuckles were white.
Screw Monica.
Ditto Taylor.
And the boosters.
Lexi took her foot off the gas, coasting to the next stop sign. She paused, took two deep breaths, then headed toward town. She’d go to the library for a while, get some extra studying in, so she could at least continue to beat Monica where it mattered.
Cruising by the high school, the bright blink of Ash’s Mustang caught her eye. The back gym door was propped open. She turned in. Walking across the mostly empty lot, she reconsidered. Too bad she wasn’t wearing something better than an old pair of skinny jeans and a ratty ice-blue Champion sweatshirt. No worries. She’d distract him with a flirty smile.
Ash was the only guy in the weight room. His white tee clung to his back, and sweat glistened on his neck. Lexi paused, checking out the band of his white briefs, which almost blended in with his light-gray Nike shorts. Even his pale legs looked strong and muscular. Her gaze crept back up. Yum.
When their gazes connected in the long mirror stretching the length of the weight room, he grinned. He’d noticed her staring at his ass, but she could tell he was more than okay with it.
“Hey, what’s up?” he shouted over the blaring Lamb of God.
All pretense of being flirty and fun vanished as Lexi walked toward him. He was her friend. She could be real with him. “Taylor made Monica president.”
He switched down the volume, but she could tell he hadn’t heard her, so she told him again, adding, “But I’m okay with it.”
“You earned that spot. She didn’t.” He crossed over to pick up some really heavy-looking black plates. “So, no, you’re not okay with it.”
“Really. I am.”
She followed behind him, watching as he positioned the hole of one of the plates at the end of a long bar then slid it on. He did the same on the other side.
“That’s nice of you to worry about me,” she said, “but—”
“I can’t believe Taylor made her president.” The second plate slammed into position with a loud crack. “Nobody likes Monica. She’s a total bitch and everybody knows it. Even the teachers know it. They just act nice to her because she does what they say.”
Lexi took a step back, not quite sure what he was so mad about. Unless he really did care that much about her. “It’s not that big a deal,” she said, trying to lighten the mood. “Look on the bright side, we’ll—”
“There is no bright side. You wanted to be president, you should be president.” He angled himself under the bar so it rested across his beefy shoulders, then stepped forward and squatted. Each time he stood, he grimaced and let out a heavy puff of air.
He moved forward then paused, looking over at her. “It matters to you. If there’s any way you can make it happen, you should do it. “
Lexi shrugged, still not sure what he was getting at.
“Do it. Whatever you’ve got, use it.”
Lexi waited until he’d dropped the bar back into place to offer, “We’ll have more time to hang out this way.”
He let out one last hard breath, shoved his hair off his forehead then turned, his gaze softer. “You think?”
“Sure. And—the other good thing. They canceled the auction.” Her mouth curved up, her gaze traveling the length of his long, lean body. “Now you don’t have to worry about me bugging you anymore.”
That made him laugh. Still grinning, he climbed back under the bar, put it across his shoulders again.
Lexi was starting to feel stupid staring at him while he was all sweaty and groaning. “I’ll get out of here so you can—”
“Hey, wait. Zeke’s around.” He paused. “Hang on, you can say hi.”
Lexi knew he wasn’t in jail or whatever, but the idea that he was out walking around was a shock. Besides, the cops had told her not to talk to anyone, and she was pretty sure that especially meant don’t talk to Zeke. Even though she was still wondering what he was going to tell her about Monica. “Nah. You guys have to work out, right?”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He lowered himself down then grunted as he pushed himself up. “He can’t start school until the school board says so, even though the judge is telling them he should be in school.”
“That sucks,” Lexi said, that image of Peter in the hot tub coming back.
“Yeah. It does. Especially since he moved to get away from the last thing.”
Lexi let her curiosity push away that image of dead Peter. “What was it?”
“Just something that happened.” He went down then up again. “It totally wasn’t his fault.”
Lexi took a step back, looking around. Ash and Zeke were way closer than she realized. “What kind of stuff?”
“Lame crap that nobody but parents care about.” Ash laughed. “Something about some girl and a video. Know what I mean?”
A girl and a video?
Yeah. She knew what he meant.
Exactly.
“Anyway, it was really bad for him there, but it’s going to be great for us because he’s the best catcher in the state.”
Lexi took her phone out of her pocket, flipping it over in her hand and doing her best to look everywhere except at Ash. “Yeah, yeah, that’s great.”
“What’s wrong? You look weird.”
Lexi touched her hair, running her fingers through the strands near her cheek. “No. It’s just, well, you look really good doing that.”
“Distracted you, huh?” he said, stretching his arms overhead, the edge of his T-shirt riding up, showing more of
his hard stomach. Lexi took advantage of his misunderstanding. “Yeah, so I guess I really better get going. I’ve got some studying to do at the library. Tell Zeke I said ‘hi’.”
“Right. Don’t want to mess with your head. I know those good grades matter to you.” He dropped his arms, the crooked smile vanishing as quickly as it had appeared. “Think about what I said. That thing with Monica. Okay?”
Lexi nodded, then with another wave and a last glance at the hard curves of his back, she was out of there and heading to her car. Enough was enough.
She climbed in and typed a text to Monica.
We need to talk.
After she hit ‘Send’, she headed to the library.
* * * *
Later, still waiting for the princess to respond, Lexi leaned hard on the fridge door. Blocks of cheese, piles of yucky-looking pimento loaf and cans of beer filled the shelves. A sour scent drifted forward from somewhere inside. With a quick shove, she closed the door. She couldn’t even get something to eat without being reminded of Dale.
Even though it was pointless, she took her phone from her pocket and checked the screen again. Still nothing. A violent shout followed by pitiful screaming burst in from outside. Then a pause, then more shouting. She slipped her phone back into her pocket and peered out between the curtains at the driveway. Dale behind the wheel of his welding truck, her mom clinging to the driver’s side door. Her stepdad’s thin lips were twisted into a snarl, and he yanked his arm away when her mom tried to touch his shoulder. She was trying to say something but he was waving his hands in her face. After he nearly spat at her, she let go, limping backward.
He backed out, tires squealing, leaves flying, then sped down Cedar. A cloud of dust rose up from the gravel driveway, swirling around Lexi’s mom, and she waved her hand in front of her face. Then, with her back slumped and arms folded over her chest, her mom watched him disappear around the corner.
Best Friends Never Page 11
