by Janet Albert
"I'm stupefied," Lucia said.
Lisa continued where Carolyn left off. "Generally, we describe wines as being floral, fruity, caramelized, herbaceous, spicy or oaky. For example, we know gewürztraminer grapes are spicy--the word gewürztraminer means spicy wine. A winemaker can also use techniques to add flavors to wines, but Juliet's the one to ask about that. In my field, we use the flavor characteristics of wines when we suggest pairing wines with foods."
"Give me an example." Lucia said.
"Say you're making a dish of sweet scallops in a buttery cream sauce. A good wine for that would be a dry chardonnay with buttery qualities. As a rule, spicy dishes go with spicy wines and delicate dishes with delicate wines. Fruity wines go with dishes made with fruit and so on. Other times it's better to serve a wine that contrasts with a dish."
"Like what?" Lucia asked.
"Like an Asian dish made with soy sauce paired with a slightly sweet wine or a salty dish paired with an acidic wine."
"Like Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese and Chianti," Lucia said.
"Yes, that's the idea exactly," Lisa said.
"And all this time I thought Luke and Juliet were coming up with those descriptions off the top of their heads so the wines would sound more appealing."
"Come on, Lucia. You must have known a little about it," Juliet said.
"I'm teasing. I did, but not as much as the three of you."
"We taste wines for a living," Carolyn said. "And we studied it."
"Intensely," Juliet said with a grimace before she veered off the topic. "I haven't told you this, Lucia, but I have a new red blend in mind. I'd like to name it Buona Fortuna."
"Good fortune." Lucia smiled. "Nice name and an even better thought."
"I chose it because I see good things ahead for you," Juliet said.
Carolyn raised her glass. "Let's all drink to that."
"I WAS HOPING I'd get a chance to talk to you," Lucia told Carolyn in the kitchen a little over two hours later. "Thanks for volunteering to help me and for asking Lisa to stay out on the porch with Juliet while we cleared the dishes and cleaned up. How did you know I wanted to talk to you?"
"I didn't. It was me that wanted to talk to you," Carolyn said. "I couldn't help but notice the way you look at Juliet and they way she looks at you. You two have gotten close, haven't you?"
"We have become close. I can talk to her."
"Is there something else going on?"
"Not exactly," Lucia said.
"Define not exactly."
"I think she's wonderful, Carolyn." Lucia rinsed a plate, put it in the dishwasher and faced Carolyn.
"I'm not going to dispute that."
"Damn, I wasn't planning on telling anyone about this." Lucia dried her hands with a paper towel and wiped her right eye. "I know she's the last person I should be attracted to but I can't help it. It's been coming on gradually ever since I met her."
"Why is she the last person you should be attracted to?"
"You mean besides the fact that she's straight and has a boyfriend?"
"Well, there is that," Carolyn said. "But she never dated much and never led us to believe she was all that interested in men. Lisa and I have questioned her sexuality even if she hasn't."
"Sometimes I think she--" Lucia shook her head. "I don't know."
"Are you saying you think she might have feelings for you?"
"I know she cares about me, she told me that. And she's warm and affectionate, but I'm not sure if she's being kind or if there's something else there. Maybe it's in the spirit of friendship and nothing more."
"The way she looks at you doesn't remind me of friendship," Carolyn said. "Maybe she doesn't know how she feels at this point."
"That would be too good to be true."
"It might be true," Carolyn said.
"It's the 'might be' part that scares me. I'm scared to death it won't turn out well and I don't know if I can cope with losing another woman I care deeply about."
Lucia picked up a plate, rinsed it and stared at it, water dripping down her arms and off the tips of her elbows. Carolyn had no answers and even if she did it wouldn't matter. She had none either and nothing was going to change the way she felt.
"What are you thinking?"
"Why her, Carolyn? Have I lost my mind?" Lucia still stared at the plate.
Carolyn took the plate out of Lucia's hands. "Why don't you listen to your heart?"
"I'm not sure I trust that troublemaker. It's impulsive and totally lacking in good sense." Lucia dried her arms, wet a soapy sponge and squeezed the excess water out. She handed it to Carolyn. "Wipe the counters off for me, will you?"
"I should do something. All I've done so far is stand here," Carolyn took the sponge and started wiping. "I should tell you I'm not big on being sensible and I don't think the way you feel about her is wrong."
"It wouldn't be if it was mutual, but it isn't. And she works for me."
"What difference does that make? It's a winery for God's sake, it's your winery," Carolyn said. "Most wineries are owned by husbands and wives and families and they all work together. This isn't the corporate world. This is your world."
Lucia grunted. "You sound as if you like the idea of us together."
"I'd like anyone or anything that put the light back into those pretty eyes of yours and if it were Juliet, I'd like it all the more. Juliet wouldn't admit it, but I think she needs someone in her life as much as you do."
"There's still the issue of her sexuality."
"That should be revealed in time."
"One way or the other." Lucia closed the dishwasher and started it. "We're done here so we'd better get back to Lisa and Juliet before they come after us."
"I want to say something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way." Carolyn squeezed the excess water out of the sponge and put it on the edge of the sink.
"Go ahead and say it." Lucia straightened her back.
"Devin's death was an awful tragedy, but you're still here. You have a lifetime ahead of you and all the makings of a very special life. Don't run away from happiness."
"I couldn't agree more," Lucia said. "And believe it or not, I want to live it."
"You're doing better. I can see that." Carolyn cleared her throat and pulled Lucia into a hug. "I hope things work out for you both."
Chapter Twenty-Two
IT WAS TEN-THIRTY when Carolyn announced she and Lisa had to leave because of something they had to do early the next morning. Juliet gave no indication that she was leaving when they did and that pleased Lucia. Although she'd enjoyed having Carolyn and Lisa over and the evening had been loads of fun, Lucia secretly longed to spend more time alone with Juliet. In fact, that longing was getting to be an everyday thing.
"Do you have to get home or can you stay a while?" Lucia asked once they were back on the porch from saying goodbye to Carolyn and Lisa.
"I'll stay if you get me a cold beer."
"I'll have one with you. Do you want a glass?"
"No. I'll drink it from the bottle."
Lucia went into the kitchen and returned with the beers, handing one to Juliet who was sitting in the chair next to the wicker sofa. Angel had curled up in the other chair and was sound asleep. Lucia flopped down on the end of the sofa next to Juliet's chair, kicked off her sandals and propped her feet up on the coffee table.
"Tonight was fun," Juliet said.
"It was. We need to do that more often."
"I had a good time being with you." Something stirred in Juliet's eyes that hadn't been there before. Her gaze, focused and intense, burned into Lucia and she never took her eyes off Lucia's as she said, "Earlier you told me you had a good week. Why was it so good?"
"I felt like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders."
"No need to go out drinking?" Juliet asked.
"No, I haven't felt like it."
"No sex with strange women?"
"I never choose women that are strange."
&n
bsp; "Funny." Juliet's soft laugh sounded more like a moan. "You know what I meant."
"Sorry, couldn't resist. No, no sex with strange women."
"I hate to think of you having sex with a stranger." Juliet leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees. The warmth in her face was gone, replaced by suffering.
"Why does that bother you so much?" Lucia asked.
Juliet's hand shook as she took a long swallow of beer. "I'm not sure. I think I'm jealous. It hurts me when I think of you having sex with someone else."
"Why would you be jealous or hurt?" Lucia touched Juliet's arm. She could see it hadn't been easy for Juliet to tell her that. "I'm not trying to be smart. I really want to know what you're feeling and why."
Juliet left her chair and moved next to Lucia. "I don't want anyone else to have you and it's because of how I feel about you--and because I'm attracted to you. I don't know what to do about any of it."
"Are you sure you feel that way?"
"I'm as sure as I can be." Juliet drank more beer and set her bottle on the table. "I say that and yet, I'm not sure about anything anymore."
"I asked if you were sure because I have the same feelings for you and I don't know what to do either." Lucia took Juliet's hand in hers.
"Yes, I know." Juliet stared at their joined hands.
"I've been attracted to you all along and as much as I've tried to fight it, it's a fight I'm not winning. Ever since Atlanta, I haven't been able to get you out of my head or out of my heart."
"I have the same problem," Juliet said. "All I can think about is kissing you."
Lucia lifted Juliet's hand and pressed the palm to her lips. "What about Andre?"
"I've been deceiving myself for so many years. I never felt this way about any of the men I went out with. I tried to convince myself that I hadn't met the right one or the time wasn't right, anything to avoid dealing with the truth."
"And do you know what the truth is?"
"I'm beginning to. All along it was me and I should have known it. It wasn't right for me. I went through the motions, pretending to be someone I wasn't. I worked and studied and kept busy, too busy to date, too busy to make a commitment, too busy to face who I really was."
"That doesn't work well, does it?"
Juliet shook her head. "There had to be more. I always knew it, but I wasn't prepared for what kissing you did to me. Being with you in the hotel made me realize what's been missing in my life. Every proper feeling I believed myself incapable of came to life the instant your lips touched mine. I never knew it could be like that."
"It can be so much more." Lucia kissed Juliet's fingers.
"Believe me I've imagined how it would be to make love with you."
"Then what's holding you back?"
"I don't know. I've wanted to kiss you again ever since that night. I look at your mouth and I think about how warm it was, how soft your lips were."
"You can't know how much I've wanted to kiss you." Lucia pulled Juliet into her arms, content to hold her and let their shared confessions sink in.
Juliet rested her cheek against Lucia's. "What I'm feeling is so--"
"It's all right." Lucia pressed her lips against Juliet's forehead.
Juliet drew back. "Please kiss me."
Lucia cupped Juliet's cheek and pressed her lips to Juliet's. They were soft and even though she wanted to be gentle her restraint was soon overruled by the wild desire that had been building up inside of her for the past week.
Juliet's tongue entered Lucia's mouth and she kissed her as if she were starving for the taste and feel of her. Several kisses later, she tore her mouth away gasping for breath. "I've been waiting for this all my life."
Lucia held Juliet until her breathing returned to normal. "I didn't come to see you in the cellars the last few days because I found it too hard to be near you and not kiss you or touch you like this. I knew I wouldn't be able to stand it."
"I wondered why you didn't come."
"I thought if I stayed away, this would go away."
"That hasn't worked for me," Juliet said. "The feelings just get stronger."
Lucia sighed. "I couldn't bear the thought that I'd never kiss you again. I told myself that I shouldn't kiss you and I knew if I were anywhere near you, I'd want to."
Juliet pressed Lucia's hand to her chest over her heart. "This is all so new to me. I'm surprised my heart is still beating and amazed that I can still breathe."
"I love that I do that to you." Lucia kissed her. "I'd love to do so much more."
They kissed again and again, each kiss becoming more urgent than the one before. Lucia ran her hand up between them and unbuttoned the top button of Juliet's shirt. She was dying to touch her. With her eyes on Juliet's, she undid the second button, opened the shirt and gently kissed the swell of Juliet's breasts.
Juliet's soft moans only intensified Lucia's desire. Her lips returned to Juliet's and her hand found its way to Juliet's thigh. She stroked the smooth skin while she kissed her, reaching higher and higher for the place she needed to touch. With her fingertips nestled under the hem of Juliet's shorts, she whispered, "Stay with me tonight, please. Let me make love to you."
"I--I can't, Lucia." Juliet sat up and straightened her clothing. "I want to, more than I can say, but I think I should go home." Without warning, she stood up, walked into the house, and proceeded directly to the front door.
Lucia followed her and leaned against the door frame. She held Juliet's arm hoping to keep her from running out. "Please don't go. We don't have to do anything."
Juliet fished for her keys. "I can't think when I'm near you and I need to think about who I am and what I really want. It's too soon for me and I'm--"
"You're what? Come on, Juliet, talk to me about this."
" Je suis trop nerveux!"
Lucia let go of Juliet's arm. She was leaving and there was nothing she could do or say that would change her mind. "I don't know what you said, but you're probably right. You should leave. Clearly, I don't know what I'm doing and I don't want to push you into anything you're not ready for."
"I said I was too nervous and you're right, I'm not ready."
"I'm sorry," Lucia said. "I didn't mean to pressure you."
"No, I'm the one who's sorry. I hope you can forgive me." Juliet touched Lucia's cheek as she escaped through the doorway.
IT WAS CLOSE to midnight when Juliet opened the door to her apartment. She felt horrible the whole way home, wondering how Lucia felt, wondering why she'd run out on her, and most of all, wondering why she couldn't handle what had almost taken place. She had wanted to make love with her, more than anything. Why hadn't she?
Sabrina Star was waiting for her, squeaking her cat complaints about Juliet's absence or a lack of food or water or whatever. A little rubbing of her ears and some petting soon calmed her down and converted her squeaks into trills and purrs.
"What's the matter little puss? Food bowl empty?" Juliet picked Sabrina up and carried her into the kitchen. After setting her down, she filled her food bowl and changed her water.
"How was your evening?" she asked as the cat crunched on her food.
"Meeeooow."
"Same old boring stuff? Well, my evening, since you asked, was quite memorable. An amazing opportunity came my way and I blew it, as you Americans are so fond of saying. Seems I'm not mature enough to have sex with a sexy woman who offered herself to me. Oh, Sabrina, she wanted me and I wanted her and what did I do? I ran to the safety of my home instead."
"Meeeooow."
"Why did I do that, you ask? I wish I knew. I asked myself that very question all the way home and all I could come up with was that I got nervous, too nervous to go through with it. Have you ever heard of such a thing?"
"Meeeoow."
"I'm an idiot. Glad you said it. I don't want to be afraid. I don't want to be cautious. I don't want to ignore my desires and never act on them. I don't want to be one of those people. I want to know what I want and not
be afraid to go after it."
Disgusted with herself, Juliet went into the living room, fished her cell phone out of her bag and collapsed on the sofa. During dinner, she had turned her cell phone off and now she saw she had several messages, all from Andre, each one more demanding than the one before it. In the last one, he insisted she call him no matter how late it was.
"Just what I need," she said to Sabrina who jumped on the sofa beside her, her tail puffed up to three times its normal size. "I'd better call him or he'll never give up."
Andre answered on the second ring.
"It's me."
"Hi, me. Where have you been?" he asked, yawning.
"Out, Andre. I was having dinner with friends. Remember?"
"Oh, yeah, yeah I remember. How was it?"
"I'm tired, Andre. What was so important it couldn't wait until tomorrow?"
"Hey, don't be mad. I know you don't like me springing things on you, so I thought I'd better let you know I'll be in Ithaca tomorrow. I'd like to see you and I need to talk to you about something."
"About what?"
"I'd rather not discuss it on the phone," Andre said.
"Can't it wait? I have a lot to do tomorrow."
"Like what?"
"Personal things and I don't feel like company."
"I'm not company and I miss you. Besides, I won't be able to stay long, just a few hours. I have to see a couple of customers before I come to see you and I have a dinner meeting in Rochester. I'll be staying overnight up there because I have another meeting early on Monday morning and then I have to get back home."
Juliet shut her eyes and took a deep breath. He wasn't going to go away on his own and she knew she had to end their relationship as soon as possible. It was over for her the last time she saw him, the time he forced her to cancel her dinner plans with Lucia. The way she felt about Lucia had changed everything and in a moment of clarity, she realized that Andre was unfinished business and that unfinished business was one of the reasons she didn't stay with Lucia.
