by T. L Smith
Everyone’s standing, not one person has stayed sitting.
Ryken doesn’t say a word, he just steps forward, and each time he does the knife is pressed harder into my skin, and I feel the warmth of blood trickling down my neck.
Is this how I will leave this Earth?
I mean, I could have been killed several times around these people. I should have been killed. Ryken saved me, but in the end, it only seems to have doomed me. It’s a funny way of looking at it. Because Ryken’s doom is something I would choose even if it gave me the same outcome—him.
I choose him, and that’s a big step for me personally. Because I’ve never really had to choose anyone.
I go to move, but his head shakes. I see the worry etched on his face. Ryken’s worried about me, and that scares me most.
If he’s worried, in reality, what are my chances?
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ryken
It’s always the person you least expect, isn’t it? I sure as shit didn’t expect it to be Cane. Not one inkling, or for one damn iota of time did I expect this from Cane.
How or why? I’m yet to find out.
But first I have to restrain myself from shooting him straight between the eyes as he holds a very sharp knife to Saskia’s throat. She doesn’t move, stays where she is watching me, waiting for me to do something to save her.
Quinn pulls Sabrina away. Cane stands with Saskia walking backward, so no one is standing behind him. He’s smart, he knows Quinn will maneuver himself into a position where he will take him out from behind with one hit.
“Cane,” Quinn says snidely, his lip curling up in disgust.
I shake my head at him and take a step forward. He hisses at me, and I can tell precisely the moment he pushes the knife deeper into her neck because a tear drops from her eye, but she doesn’t move or scream out in pain. Everyone’s standing, and all eyes are on him. I can tell that all have braced themselves because their hands are on their weapons. I need them to leave. If they speak to him even the slightest way that he can interpret as incorrect, he could cut her, and I can’t have that.
Cane speaks before I have the chance to look back at him. “Tell them to leave, Ryken. Tell them now to get in their cars and drive off.”
I look around and they all do so without me having to say the words. They all start walking. Quinn pushes Sabrina into Michael’s hands, and even though she’s scared of him, she’ll go because Quinn tells her to.
Cane shakes his head. “You too, Quinn. Don’t think for a second you’re staying.”
Quinn looks to me, waiting for me to answer. He takes his orders directly from me, and I understand his hesitance.
“This is between Ryken and me.”
Quinn looks to Cane like he’s thinking about killing him right there and then, and not listening to me, but Sabrina grabs hold of Quinn’s hand and pulls him to the door. The only people left standing in the room are Cane, Saskia, and myself.
“They’re gone. Loose the damn knife.”
He nicks at her throat again, and I see more blood. She doesn’t move, but he lessens the hold on her. She breathes a bit deeper, her eyes pinned to mine.
It’s the most helpless feeling in the world watching her and not being able to protect her.
Hasn’t she been through enough?
“You never really see, do you?” Cane questions me.
His hold on her stays, he won’t let her go. He knows it’s the only thing keeping him alive right now. Because despite our friendship, I will kill him in an instant if it means protecting her.
“That night she came out to see you collecting those girls, I threw a rock at her window to wake her. It worked, and she followed you.” He kisses her cheek. “You were set up from the beginning, sweetheart. A pawn to break him so I could take you.”
She shivers as his lips leave her skin. Her eyes fall to the floor.
“And Amy? Amy knew where to find you because I told her. I told her everything. That’s why she hated you.” He laughs and touches Saskia’s shoulder, his hand skimming down the front of her shirt, while the other holds the knife. He stares at me as his hand touches her breast and squeezes. “I wanted you broken, so badly that only I can put you back together.” He shakes his head then looks back to me. “Now you aren’t so blind to it.”
“Let her go, Cane.”
His licks the side of her face, looking back to me. “You think I’m stupid? I know you won’t hurt me while I have her, she’s too precious to you.” He says this with the biggest of smirks. “So here is where she’ll stay until I work out a way out of here without your men killing me... and I will, Ryken.”
“Do you want the clubs?” I ask him, thinking negotiation may be my best bet.
He laughs at me. “No. I had them. I’m over them. I don’t want them, Ryken. I want your life. What you have... even her.”
“Why?”
“I hated you from the moment I met you. That was mostly your father’s fault, though. He fucked my mother, had a child, and kept it secret.” I look at him, confused. “Me. He was my father, too. She told me one night after a dinner function. I didn’t believe her. I thought she was in one of her drunken stupors. That was until she showed me the proof. He made her sign paperwork, relieving him of any responsibility. To hide me, so I wasn’t traceable. He never wanted me. Imagine my surprise when I found out he had a son. One that he gives everything to and the son didn’t appreciate that gift at all.” He shakes his head again. “You’re my brother, and I fucking hate you. I guess we have something in common, right? We both fell in love with the same blonde.” He kisses Barbie’s cheek again. Then looks back to me. “And our father was an ass.”
“You can have it. I’ll give it all to you. But her... no. Let her go.”
Cane looks at her and then to me. Barbie hasn’t said a word and hasn’t moved. She knows what to do, and I can’t help but think that’s my fault too. She should run from me and never look back. Let’s face it, it would be a safer plan for her to do so.
“I don’t want it. Now all I want is to hurt you. How do you think it’s best to do that, Ryken? What should I do that will ruin you?”
My eyes drop to her, but he already knows what will kill me.
Slow motion—that’s what happens when your heart drops through your chest and out your feet.
The knife slices and her eyes go wide as he cuts her across the neck. He pushes Saskia forward, and I manage to catch her, automatically lifting to check her neck. She’s bleeding, but she’s not cut too seriously. A flesh wound to distract me, because when I look back up for him he’s gone and I’m covered in blood.
Michael’s the first to come in. I pull my shirt from my body and wrap it around her neck to slow the bleeding. She’s calm and doesn’t make a sound, her hand touches my bare chest as she leans on me.
“Bottom drawer is full of bandages.” I point in the direction of the cupboard.
Michael walks off and comes back with the kit, while she lays her head on my chest. Pulling the shirt off, I quickly clean the area and bandage her up. Making sure to kiss her the minute I’m done. She still doesn’t say a word as we stand and see everyone watching us.
Even Quinn who’s now carrying a knocked-out Cane by his shirt. Barbie looks to me then to Cane. I knew he wouldn’t get far, not with Quinn outside. My hand strokes her face, her eyes no longer crying as she stares at me. “What are you going to do with him?”
I look back to Quinn, who picks Cane up carrying him to where we keep our collections down in the basement. Looking back to her, I lean in and kiss her lips softly.
“Sabrina’s going to go up to my room with you, and Michael’s going to stand guard. You’ll be safe.” Standing up I lift her, and she falls into my arms easily as I carry her. Sabrina follows with no argument, and Michael does as well. Walking her up the stairs, I take her straight to my bed and lay her down on it. “A doctor will come soon to fix your neck.” I brush her hair away from her face.
She turns away and pulls the blanket up, not looking at me. Sabrina walks in and lays down next to her, switching the television on, while Michael stays at the door. Walking back out and down the stairs, Michael’s guys all hang around waiting and watching to see what’s going to come.
But as I walk down the stairs to the basement, I shut the door behind me, so it’s just Quinn, Cane, and myself. The way it’s been several times before. Cane’s tied to the stairs, his hands up above his head, as he sits on the cold cement floor. He’s awake now and looking at us.
My brother, who would have thought.
If he’d have said something earlier, I would have embraced it. Instead, he chose to lie and deceive me.
Why? That’s a question I may never hear the answer to.
“You really fucked this up, didn’t you?” I question Cane.
He shakes his head. “You see it as that, I see it as I kept you two apart for so long that now she has doubts about you. I broke her, and all the blame for everything that happened to her is on you.” He laughs at himself.
“You know I’m going to kill you, right?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “You can try. Will she allow you, though?”
I look back up to the door that’s shut, knowing what I do in here will be for her. To keep her safe for the rest of her life.
“I wouldn’t worry what she approved of, especially not while I have you tied down here, Cane.” I pull out a chair and sit opposite him.
Quinn passes me a knife and Cane doesn’t even flinch.
“She’s upstairs. Do you think she’ll stay where she is if you’re hurting me?”
I growl and try to keep my ass in the seat. It’s becoming more difficult for me to keep a calmness to my persona. “You don’t know fucking anything, you idiot. She won’t hear your screams. And even if she did, you really think she’d save you?” I laugh, and Quinn leans down to whisper in my ear, “Sabrina said she’s passed out. Michael’s staying in front of the door in case she hears anything. The doctor gave her something to go to sleep.”
Cane overhears, and I smile. Because for some strange reason he has this idea that she’ll save him. After everything he’s done to her. All the ways he’s hurt her without her even knowing.
Maybe this life of hers wasn’t my fault. Maybe it was his, all along. It makes it easier to believe that her love for me isn’t due to me hurting her.
“Amy really fucked her over,” Cane says, laughing. “She told me how much she hated her. How she would go in and kick her until she no longer cried like a bitch.” He smirks and looks down. Shaking his head. “She really, really, hated her with a vengeance.”
I stand from my chair, and it flies backward as my fist punches straight into his jaw. He shakes his face as I stand back to look at him. “You better tell me... tell me why?” There’s more to it. It can’t just be all about my father, and then him choosing to hate me. Because I’ve been nothing but good to him. More than good to him.
“You’re so spoiled, such a little fucking brat. Everything’s handed to you. You don’t fight for anything.” Containing my eyes from rolling is hard.
“You’re cut from the same cloth, Cane, your family is well off. Just the same as mine. Don’t act like the life you lived was hard done by. You don’t even know what that is. Maybe you should go and live in the trailer park she came from. Spend a few years there and tell me how hard your pitiful life has been. You’re a fucking idiot. How could I have been so blind to it?” I scoff, looking at Quinn who’s watching Cane not moving. He wants to kill him, but I won’t allow it. That’s for me to decide and how to do it. It’s something I need to do to make her safe again. So she won’t feel vulnerable or in danger anymore. But, unfortunately, with me, I guess that’s never really guaranteed anyway.
“Let me do it, Boss,” Quinn says.
I shake my head at Quinn, nodding for him to go. He doesn’t want to, but this needs to be done between my brother and me, and no one else present.
His life needs to slip away from my hands.
CONFESSION #12
“Bless me...”
Shit! There’s no priest here to hear my confession.
I’m well and truly fucked.
No priest can save me now. No last rites, no sacraments, no penance, and most definitely no absolution.
No... I’m condemned by my own brother.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Cane
He’s pacing the floor because he doesn’t know what to do with me. I’ve been his friend, his closest confidant for so long, now he’s confused. But he isn’t confused enough that he won’t kill me to protect her. Because just like myself, he loves her too. Except he has her, and she has him. It makes me mad and want to kill Ryken even more. I move, struggling against the rope that binds me still and groan when I don’t move. He looks to me, his eyebrows scrunched together. The knife is back in his hand as he stares. He’s working up the courage to do it, to kill me. It’s playing in his head—how to do it. He doesn’t want to, but I know he will.
“I loved her first, I saw her first. But she didn’t see me. Fuck! She never saw anyone but you.”
“You hated me because she loved me.”
I nod my head. He gets it now. It’s not just that he had everything. He did, and I should have been where he is right now. Father didn’t choose me, he picked him.
“I’m sorry, Cane, I really am.”
He steps up close to me. It’s then I see it, right as the knife touches my own throat the same way I had hers.
Ryken Lord is his father’s son.
And I am no one.
One last breath is all it takes for him to slice my throat from one side to the other.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Saskia
Waking up in a bed next to a girl I hardly know is new to me. Sitting up, the television is still on from last night, and the sun’s now shining through the windows. How long did I sleep for? I remember the doctor assessing me then giving me something to sleep. That’s the extent of my memories before I passed out. I stand slowly, carefully, so as to not wake her.
“I’ve been awake for ages.” Sabrina’s voice shocks me, and when I turn around, I see her watching.
“I didn’t know.”
“You were having bad dreams, and you wouldn’t stop moving.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shrugs her shoulders.
“Is everyone still here?” I ask, looking at the door.
“Quinn, Michael, and your man are here. Yes. He came up to check on you, but you were knocked out. He’s been up every hour.”
“Thanks,” I reply, heading to the door. Pulling it open, Michael’s sitting on the floor reading a magazine.
Michael looks up at me then stands. “You’re awake.” I’m not sure how to take him, so I just nod. He looks down the stairs then back to me.
“Is Ryken here?”
He nods and walks down the stairs. I follow him, and that’s when I see Ryken. He’s sitting on the same couch Cane and I were on, and he’s talking to Quinn. They both look up as we walk down.
Ryken stands and comes straight over to me. Ryken’s hands wrap around me, and he pulls me to him tight, locking me in his grasp. He makes it almost impossible for me to move, but then his hands drop from me, and he steps back, looking at me. “Barbie...”
My hands come up and run down the length of my arm, hugging myself. I look up to him. “Is it safe for me to go home now?”
Ryken bobs his head. Unsure of what to say. So am I, to be honest, I’m a little lost myself.
“I want to go home.”
He steps back and reaches for the keys. “I’ll take you.”
My arms go to push him back but I take a step back. “I don’t want you to take me home, Ryken.”
“I’ll take her.”
We both turn to see Sabrina walking down the stairs, and as she reaches Ryken she takes the keys from his hand and continues to walk out the door. I go to follow he
r, but Ryken grabs hold of my hand, pulling me back to him. “I’ll be there later, okay?”
I shake my head, his hand dropping from me. “Not today... not today.”
“When?” he asks.
This time I shrug my shoulders. “I need... space.” Walking out the door before he can grab me again, Sabrina’s already in his car, the same one he tried to give to me, and she’s ready to go.
She takes off with a tire squeal and drives fast, and all the time there’s a smile etched on her face. “He fought for you, I heard?” I look at her thinking she’s not speaking to me. But of course, she is. My head isn’t on right, at least right now. “It must feel good to have someone want to fight for you.” I look down to my hands.
Can I feel bad about everything when she’s had it worse?
“What’s with Quinn?” I ask her, changing the subject.
“He’s not a good man, but so far he’s been good to me. That’s the least I can ask for. Even if he decided, well and truly later, that we’re right for each other.” She laughs. “I mean, he couldn’t have decided that when he collected me? He had to send me to that hell hole of a place?” She shakes her head, and a frown appears on her face.
“How do you feel though, knowing what they do?” Sabrina comes to a stop, and I realize we’re home.
“I mean... it bothers me. But I can’t really change him, can I?”
“I guess not.”
I open the door, and her hand comes to my leg. “If you really can’t handle it, tell him and leave him. He clearly would do anything for you. But asking someone you love to give up something they love isn’t fair... at all.”
“For a trailer trash girl, you have some good insight,” I say to her with a smile.
“Coming from another trailer trash girl...” she trails off with a laugh and shoos me out of the car.
It’s empty and quiet when I walk into my apartment. Stepping upstairs, I can still smell him. It still feels like he’s everywhere. His bag is still on the floor, the one I didn’t even see him bring in. Stripping myself naked, I climb in the shower. Water rushes over my face—lucky I have a waterproof bandage on my neck—and I’m confused whether it’s actually water or tears. I guarantee it’s most likely tears.
