by Jerry Cole
“You ready?” Roman asked.
“For what – wow!”
Roman took off at the speed of light... or at least as fast as his legs could take him. He had his arms wrapped in behind Bryce’s knees, he leaned forward just a little, and he ran as hard as he could. Through the streets he ran, out of the city and toward their next destination. It was still a couple of kilometers away, and Roman knew he couldn’t make it that far, but he ran like he’d be able to.
And as he ran, the two boys laughed and whooped and cried out. As sad as it might have seemed, that single moment was probably the best in Roman’s young life.
Roman didn’t have many friends... or any friends, really. He was a little strange, sure. He was a little odd, yes. But also... Roman was pretty certain that he was gay. Whatever that was.
Roman had never found girls that interesting. As a young boy, that was fine. No boys he knew had liked girls. They smelled, and were gross and boring and stupid and everything else bad. Not liking girls was normal. But there had come a time over the past few years where the other boys in his grade had started gravitating toward the girls. Some started kissing, others started dating and the rest just enjoyed staring and gawking. But never Roman.
He just didn’t see what the fuss was about. He didn’t hate girls or anything like that. He just wasn’t into them. But then again, up until right now he hadn’t really been that into boys either. None of the boys he knew or had ever met were that interesting or attractive or worth thinking about. Roman hadn’t been sure if he was gay or not because there hadn’t been anyone there to help him realize himself. That was until now.
And maybe he wasn’t gay? Maybe he just liked Bryce a lot? Maybe he was straight, but this was one instance where it didn’t matter? It was all so fucking confusing, so Roman tried not to think about it. Instead, he decided to just have a good time.
The surprise location Roman was taking Bryce to was the Sydney Cricket Ground, located on the other side of the city from Darling Harbour. Roman had never actually been before, nor had he ever had the urge. Now though, he was almost as excited as Bryce... or maybe that was just because Bryce was excited?
“Fuck...” Bryce gawked at the sight of the cricket stadium as they approached across the parking lot. He looked upon the ground like it was some sort of fantastical beast that shouldn’t have existed in this world; like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “That’s... fuck.”
“You like it?” Roman asked hopefully.
“What do you think?” Bryce scoffed without looking away.
Roman beamed... and then he had an idea. “Come on.” He held his hand out for Bryce to take, but then realized how ridiculous that was and quickly snatched it away.
“What?” Bryce tore his eyes from the stadium and blinked at Roman, now headed closer to the stadium. “Where are you going?”
“Ah... inside.”
“What -- no!” Bryce chased after Roman and grabbed at him to stop. “You can’t -- you can’t just... you can’t go in there!” He almost looked scared.
“How come?”
“What if we get caught?”
“So?” Roman shrugged.
Bryce looked terrified. “They’ll... they might arrest us.”
“I doubt it,” Roman laughed.
“They might—"
“What?” Roman raised a challenging eyebrow. “Call our parents? Trust me, mine would hope I was arrested.” Roman rolled his eyes at the look of disbelief on Bryce’s face. “Now come on, do you want to see or not?”
Bryce furrowed his brow in thought. It was so clear that he wanted to go inside, but also so obvious he was too scared to.
A surge of bravery and Roman held his hand out again, keeping it there this time. Bryce looked down at the hand, he thought for a moment, his cheeks flushed a light tinge of red and then he took Roman’s outstretched hand. The sensation was such that Roman’s knees literally buckled and for a moment he thought he was going to throw up from the sensation.
“Come on,” he said again with a little more resolve. He gave Bryce’s hand a squeeze and then led his new friend toward and inside Sydney Cricket Ground.
To Roman, there was nothing particularly special about the ground. It was a huge open stadium with thousands of empty seats, a lot of grass and not much else. But the look on Bryce’s face when they walked inside, the way he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath and savored the moment when he touched the grass, confirmed with Roman he had made the right choice.
For the next hour... maybe two... maybe three... Roman really had no idea how long it was. But for the next undisclosed period of time, the two boys lay on their backs in the grass in the middle of the stadium, staring up at the sky and talking. They didn’t joke around. They didn’t tease or play or make fun or anything that boys usually did. They just spoke.
Roman told Bryce about his broken home, how his mother was a junkie, how his father had left when he was a kid, how his brother beat him, how he hated school, how he was going to do something big with his life one day, how all he wanted was to live somewhere where he felt like he belonged. He told Bryce things about himself he’d never told anyone. And Bryce did the same.
Bryce wanted to be a sportswriter but his family wanted him to be an accountant. Bryce wanted to take a year off school and travel, but his family thought it was best if he started studying right away. Bryce wanted to hang out with his friends on this trip, but they all had girlfriends and he had no interest.
When Bryce mentioned his lack of interest in having a girlfriend, he trailed off and quickly changed the subject. He was clearly embarrassed and looked as if he thought he’d said too much. Roman just wished he said more.
But the good times had to come to an end. Truly, Roman could have lain there all day and all night. If Bryce had suggested that they sleep there, Roman wouldn’t have even hesitated. As the sun descended over the edges of the stadium, Bryce asked how long it would take to get back. Roman checked the time, sighed inwardly and then pushed himself to his feet. It was time to go.
The walk back to Darling Harbour was far more somber. If it wasn’t for how much fun the day had been, and how well the two had gotten on, Roman might have even read it as relief, as if Bryce was over him and glad to be getting back. But that couldn’t have been further from fact. Really, it seemed like they were both aware that this day was coming to an end and that they would never see one another again.
Bryce was the first to spot the bus. He noticed it as soon as they rounded the corner onto the harbor; it sat parked about two hundred feet away, and there were two dozen or so school kids milling out the front of it, waiting.
“That’s me,” Bryce said. He sucked through his teeth and rocked back and forth on his heels.
“Yep,” Roman agreed and nodded slowly. He looked everywhere but at Bryce. Honestly, he thought if he made direct eye-contact, he might even cry.
“I... I had fun today,” Bryce then offered. He spoke like he’d forgotten how, as each word was coming to him in pieces.
“Me too,” Roman said with a little more enthusiasm. Then, “If you’re ever in Sydney...”
Bryce smiled. “And if you’re ever in Woolgoolga.”
“Stranger things have happened,” Roman joked.
“Hey, it’s a nice town,” Bryce defended jokingly.
“With a terrible name,” Roman shot back with a wink.
The two boys chuckled for a moment. The chuckles then slowly faded until there was nothing but silence separating the two. They both knew that this was it, that there was nothing more to be said and that the day was truly over with. And yet it was so clear that neither wanted that to be the case.
“Well... see ya round.” Bryce stuck his hand out for Roman to shake.
Roman eyed the hand like it was a snake. He didn’t want to take it because then it truly would be the end. But he also knew he had no choice. “Yeah...” Roman offered as sincere a smile as he could. “Until next time.” He
took Bryce’s hand in his and shook.
And then something came over Roman. It was an urge. An impulse. A feeling that he couldn’t control. As soon as his skin touched Bryce’s, as his hand wrapped around the other boy’s, he knew what he wanted to do... what he had to do.
He held onto Bryce’s hand and met his eyes. They were big and sincere and friendly and kind and caring and sweet and funny and everything that Roman loved about Bryce. Most of all though, they were beautiful.
Without thinking. Without even caring what the consequences might be, and with his heart beating so damn hard in his chest he thought it just might explode, Roman suddenly yanked Bryce forward, stood on his own toes and mashed his mouth into Bryce’s.
Roman had never kissed anyone before, so he had no idea what he was doing. It was pretty clear that Bryce didn’t either. As their lips touched, the two boys just stood there, not moving, not really doing anything but pressing one another’s faces into each other. There was no tongue. There was no nibbling or licking or anything like what Roman had seen in the movies. It was just the two of them, frozen, lips smooshed together, both unsure how to act.
Yet, it was still perfect. In that moment, one that really only lasted about five seconds, Roman knew he was gay. The feel of Bryce’s cracked lips, the way his breath smelt, how he could sense Bryce’s pulse as if it radiated through the kiss, Roman knew this was for him.
Suddenly, Bryce pulled himself free. He looked like he’d just been told that his favorite cricket team had lost the finals. He blinked, wide-eyed. His mouth hung open, his face flushed red, his mind whirled behind his eyes. He was gobsmacked. But at least he wasn’t angry.
“See ya.” And then without waiting, just in case Bryce decided to overreact and beat his ass, Roman turned and fled.
He ran all the way home that night. Truthfully, Roman was pretty sure that had he really wanted to, he could have flown. What a perfect day. What a perfect man. What a perfect everything! There was too much to think of, too much to unpack, too much to relish in. Roman wouldn’t sleep tonight, that he already knew. Instead, he would lie awake reminiscing on the day, on Bryce and on his new discovery.
Roman now knew without a doubt that he was gay. And fuck, was he happy about it.
Chapter Five
A Few Years Later
Bryce’s head was starting to hurt, and he was getting to that point where all the words on the page in front of him were beginning to turn into hieroglyphs. He read and re-read the same passage again and again and again, but nothing was sinking in. Fuck, he was pretty sure that he was actually forgetting stuff he used to know! But still, Bryce pushed on.
And it wasn’t just how much his head was throbbing either, or the way his eyes were glazing over and sinking into the back of his skull. It was the noise emanating from all around him; loud, incessant, random and controlled at the same time. It was the people, rushing back and forth, to and fro, moving at break-neck speeds with little care for others. It was the music, it was the voice over the intercom, it was the loud beeping noise that just appeared every few moments, it was... it was... it was everything! Honestly, Bryce couldn’t have chosen a worse spot to study.
So where was Bryce? What location had Bryce selected for his morning study routine? Sydney Domestic Airport, at a bar called The Black Box. Seeing as it was only eight in the morning, the bar was empty. But also seeing as it was an open locale, positioned in the middle of the airport, that didn’t make much of a difference. Really, Bryce may as well have been in a nightclub.
But he also had no choice. It was the first day of the Christmas holidays, which meant that Bryce had just five weeks to study next year’s syllabus so he could hit the ground running. If he did that, he’d be able to shoot to the top of all his classes, he’d for sure make the Dean’s list, he’d then ace his tests, get the best internship which would lead to the best job which would lead to a lifetime of happiness the likes of which he could only dream...
And it was a dream. But one that was achievable. That was why, rather than relaxing with a beer before his flight, Bryce had his head buried in three different textbooks at once. That was why Bryce had arrived several hours early, rather than sleeping in. And that was why Bryce was so tightly wound right now that he might just explode.
“Can I get you a drink, sweetness?” The voice was soft, almost angelic. Bryce hardly heard it.
“Huh?” Bryce looked up and blinked himself back into the scene.
“A drink?” It was the female bartender, standing by his table, smiling down at Bryce like the two were old friends. “You’ve been at it an hour, hon. I thought you might need a pick-me-up,” she then giggled.
“Oh...” Bryce rubbed at his head and frowned. “An hour? Has it been...?” He checked the time, seeing that indeed it had been an hour. This wasn’t good news though as he had expected to be much further through his reading by now.
The bartender giggled again and then fluttered her eyes. “Since you sat down? That’s right. And I don’t think I saw you blink even the once,” she laughed. Her face was round, her blonde hair was cut short into a pixie-do, and she had the thickest set of lips Bryce had ever seen.
“I’m a bit distracted,” Bryce shrugged and indicated his books. They were spread across the table in front of him, with another on his knees. He had chosen this spot at the back of the bar so that he could spread out without being disturbed. So much for that.
“That time of year.” The bartender nodded and then took a seat opposite Bryce. “May I?” she asked sweetly.
“Oh... go for it.” Bryce didn’t really want her to sit, but he didn’t want to be rude either.
“I’ve been going since five,” she sighed as she sat down. She then shuffled in a little closer to Bryce. “Oh, I’m Amy by the way.” She fluttered her eyes again, looking at Bryce as if expecting a response.
“Bryce,” Bryce offered with a tight smile. He really wanted to get back to his reading, but didn’t know how to ask her to leave.
“So...” She licked at her thick lips again. “Are you coming, or are you going?”
“Going.”
“Shame,” she pouted. “I would have told you I finished in a few hours...” She eyed Bryce suggestively, waiting for his input. When he didn’t give it, she continued. “Two hours, to be exact. When’s your flight?”
Bryce’s eyes flicked to the Departure Board. “Four hours,” he said shortly.
“Oh, you’re eager.”
“Just careful – better to be safe.”
Amy nodded her understanding, while never once taking her bright green eyes off of Bryce. They bore into him like a drill, trying their best to burrow through his hard, outer shell. “So... I finish in two hours. I don’t know if I mentioned it?”
“Oh, no, you did.” Bryce tried for a smile, but he wasn’t really paying attention. His textbooks were calling to him, begging for him to turn his attention back toward them. “But I...” he indicated the books. “Assignments, you know?”
Amy the bartender could not have looked more surprised, and confused, and put out. She frowned at first, as if not understanding what Bryce was saying. She narrowed her eyes and looked Bryce over, as if trying to figure something out about him. She then rolled her eyes, tried for a half-smile and sighed and pushed herself to her feet.
“If you need a drink, order at the bar.” Her voice was no longer angelic, and her smile was no longer soft. She spun on her heel and walked back across the bar without once looking at Bryce. Clearly, she was a little angry.
And as for Bryce? He barely paid her a glance as he adjusted his position in his seat and went back to studying... or at least trying to study. The way his head was throbbing right now, and the rate at which his mind was racing, he couldn’t foresee himself getting too much more, if any, done.
He was actually a little annoyed now. The way that she had just come over here and sat down, expecting him to stop what he was doing so that he could, what? Flirt? Grab a drink? Make
plans to hang out in two hours? What had she really been expecting? Bryce had no idea.
Probably, she was just after the validation. Bryce was a good-looking guy. At twenty-two years of age, he’d really come into himself lately. Dressed smartly in a pair of light chinos and a tucked-in, blue polo shirt, he had the look of a preppy university student... because he was. And although he didn’t have time to surf anymore, or even workout, he’d still managed to keep a pretty good physique.
Annoyingly though, Bryce just couldn’t get his mind off Amy the bartender. And not for the reason one might think. He could feel her watching him. Staring! It was very distracting. A deep breath and Bryce dared a glance at her. Yep, she was standing behind the bar, watching him like a hawk.
She was undeniably attractive too. Her face was cute, her body was curvy but tight, and her smile was pretty. Bryce could name ten friends right now that would have killed at a chance to have a drink with her. But Bryce wasn’t one of them.
It was his studies! That was all. During his first year of University, Bryce had tried dating. Heck, he’d even had himself a girlfriend. And that was fine. She was nice enough. But Bryce had never really felt anything for her. And fuck, he had tried to. But he had always felt the books calling his name, and eventually realized that if he’d rather be studying than be with her, maybe he needed to end it. Once he had done that, he made the conscious choice to put his degree first. Once that was done with, then he’d have time for the romance.
And he didn’t regret it either. Bryce wasn’t a big drinker or partier, so there was rarely any temptation. And although he’d had girls flirt with him before, he never felt the desire. Really... he was just too eager to do well at school. Truly... that was the only reason.
Bryce dared another glance at Amy. She spotted him and smiled, and he quickly looked right past her and across the bar, like that had been where he was meant to be looking the whole while.
There was only one other person in the bar right now; a darkly dressed man with long jet-black hair pulled into a ponytail. He sat at the complete opposite end of the bar and as Bryce tried to avoid the stare of Amy, he looked the darkly dressed man over once... and then again.
