by Jerry Cole
There was a kick to Roman’s step and a smile on his face as the elevator opened on Bryce’s office floor; he didn’t even try and hide either. He was about to have lunch with the man he had insatiable feelings for and wanted the world to know! Well... that was until he reached Bryce’s cubicle anyhow.
“Roman!” Bryce blinked at the sight of Roman, popping his head into the cubicle. “What are you doing here?” He sounded exasperated and more than a little shocked.
“Raising money for the girl scouts. Do you want to buy some cookies?” He paused for the obligated laughter, but Bryce just blinked some more and looked at him like he had no idea what he was on about. “Lunch,” Roman then added. “Most people in the world eat it at twelve.”
“Huh?”
Bryce looked tired. And beaten. And worn out. His hair was a mess, his eyes were baggy and his skin was pasty white. Even the suit he wore looked a day overdue for a wash, and if Roman didn’t know any better, he would have guessed that a tornado had literally blown through the cubicle, destroying nearly everything in sight.
“It’s lunch time,” Roman said a little more seriously, and softly. “We had plans for lunch... remember?” He considered bringing up the note but didn’t want to risk sounding snarky.
“Oh... yeah, right.” Bryce blinked a few more times and gave his head a shake. “I didn’t realize it was time for...” He thought for a moment, bit into his lip, looked at the time again. “Do you think we can do it in thirty minutes – it might only be twenty. I just have to finish one little thing up.”
“For you, sweetness, I’d wait forty.” Roman leaned forward and gave Bryce a kiss on the cheek. To his dismay, Bryce took the kiss, but with some serious reservation – he looked around the cubicle first, as if worried that someone might be hiding behind a filing cabinet and see.
“Thanks so much,” Bryce sighed as he settled back in. “Seriously, it’ll probably be more like ten—” Bryce’s desk phone suddenly started to ring. Bryce answered and almost immediately, Roman knew something was wrong.
The two never made lunch that day. That call was more work coming in, ordered directly from Mr. Stark himself. For Bryce to have turned it down, he would have had to say no directly to the boss and even Roman wasn’t going to ask him to do that. Instead, Bryce promised to be home by eight o’clock that night, and that he’d even try his hand at making dinner.
“Trying to poison me?” Roman had quipped.
“That way you’ll never leave,” Bryce joked back.
Despite lunch being cancelled, Roman’s mood was still sky high, but that was just because of how much he was looking forward to work. Roman was one of those rare people that actually liked his job. In fact, as of the moment, he loved it. He was in the tail end of filming his first ever feature and if the next two weeks went as well as he hoped – in regard to the shooting of the scene that needed to be finished – then he would basically be done.
The movie itself was a cheap B movie, designed to look tacky and be a little cheesy. But it was a good stepping-stone film, the first in what he hoped to be many, many more.
And as expected, that first afternoon of filming went exactly as planned. By the time Roman turned up on set, James and the rest of the crew that had come down to shoot the scene, were already there setting up. The early afternoon was spent doing shoot rehearsals, and then when the sun was in its optimum position, they filmed as much as they could, knowing that they’d be back tomorrow and the next day and the day after that.
Indeed, the day went so well that when it came time to pack up and leave, Roman had almost completely forgotten about what had happened with Bryce... almost.
“You coming for a drink then?” James asked once the sun was down and the crew started packing up. Roman was busy locking up the lighting fixtures in the back of one of the vans and didn’t see him coming.
“Huh?” he asked as he poked his head up.
“A drink?” James propped his leg up on the wheel of the van, doing that thing straight men often did where they showed the world their crotch like it was the only one going. “Me and the lighting guys are going to hit this bar in the city – Three Wise Monkeys, I think it’s called. Get ourselves sloshed and try and take some birds back to the hotel.”
“You’ve really gone out of your way to make it sound appealing.”
James chuckled and scratched at the back of his head. “Well, I didn’t want to lie to ya, did I?” He then put on an over-the-top polite British accent. “Say, old chap. Do you want to join me and some of the old scallywags for a few rounds at the local tavern? Should be jolly fun.”
Roman did his best to sound both unimpressed, and uninterested. “I’ll pass tonight. Try not to get arrested, thanks.”
“No promises.” James stuck his tongue out. He then spotted some of the lighting crew over by the other van and hurried toward them. “Oi! Are you lot ready to make absolute fools of yourselves?”
Roman laughed to himself as he watched James join up with the small group of men whom he would soon be getting extremely drunk with. In truth, he wouldn’t have minded grabbing a quick drink. One of the things he loved most about the film making experience was the comradery and friendships made along the way. That was how he had met James, after all. And Sally. It was all part of the process really. But not today.
Today, tonight especially, there just wasn’t time. Bryce would be home by half past eight o’clock at the latest. Roman wanted to get there first so he could greet him... and so he could keep an eye on him while he made dinner. He didn’t know what Bryce’s cooking skills were like, but he didn’t have high hopes.
Unfortunately for Roman, the packing up process took a little longer than he had anticipated, which meant that he didn’t get back to the apartment until a quarter ‘til nine that evening. Worse too that he felt guilty the entire time, half expecting Bryce to be standing in the kitchen, food ready and getting cold by the time he walked through the door.
Of course, this wasn’t the case. When Roman did rush into the apartment at exactly a quarter ‘til nine, he noticed right away that it was still empty. And it remained so until well after ten o’clock. Worse too that there was no phone message from Bryce, explaining himself. Just a cold, empty apartment and a take-out menu stuck to the fridge.
Roman wished he knew how he felt. On the one hand, he was certainly mad. Not only did he not like being lied to, but he hated being made to look like a fool. But on the other hand, he also knew that Bryce wasn’t doing it on purpose. The man was busy, plus they weren’t dating, plus he was letting him stay here the whole time. Plus... well, when Bryce did walk through the front door at a little past ten o’clock, it was hard to summon the energy to get angry.
The man just looked so beaten down, and tired, and broken, and worn out like no other. He limped toward the couch and collapsed on it, face first, right into the pillows like he was trying to suffocate himself. And still, he somehow found the energy to apologize in a way that sounded both sincere and genuine.
“I’m sorry,” Bryce begged as he pushed himself up and turned around so he could see Roman, standing over him. “Seriously, my boss is being a fucking cu—”
“It’s fine. Really.” Roman fell in beside Bryce, wrapped his arms around him and kissed him on the head. “I somehow managed without you... just.” He kissed him again.
Roman could feel Bryce relax in his embrace. “Do you mind if we just go to bed tonight?” he asked. “I can barely keep my eyes open.”
“As you wish.”
“Seriously... tomorrow everything will be better.” He groaned as Roman helped him stand and led him toward the bedroom. “Sleep-ins. Morning sex. Breakfast. What more could you want?”
“I can’t think of anything,” Roman smiled and kissed Bryce again. Just like that, he was willing to forgive him. Why the heck not? For Roman, it was an aberration, a single instance that would be forgotten by the end of their two weeks together. Surely, this was going to be the only ti
me that this happened? Bryce had promised, after all.
Of course, there was to be no such luck.
The next two weeks were a mixed bag... and that was putting it nicely. When this trip was planned, Roman had expected it to end with a clear and precise trajectory for where his and Bryce’s relationship was going. Surely, after two weeks spent together, they’d have an idea? Well, for that to have been the case, they would have needed to have spent some fucking time together.
The daytime was out. Not only did Bryce have work to go to, but Roman did too. And to be honest, those two weeks spent working were probably the best part of his time in Sydney. Not only did he love his job, but for once everything went according to plan. There were no overruns, the money held out, the actors put on great performances and they managed to get all the footage, and more, that they needed. When the idea to fly to Sydney for one single scene was first pitched, everyone had agreed that it was a bad idea that could only end poorly. Now, not a soul could have imagined the movie being done without it. That was how good it had all gone.
It was a shame then that this was where the good times ended.
Bryce was trying his hardest. Roman knew that he was. He knew it... and yet that didn’t make everything magically Okay. If anything, it made the whole situation more frustrating. Roman knew that Bryce wanted to spend more time with him, because he told him every day that he did. But words were wind and after a while the sentiments became as hollow as the actions that followed them.
Bryce was just never there. It was as simple as that. Every morning, he was forced to get up with the sun and go to work, and every night he didn’t make it home until well after ten o’clock at night. When Roman had first told Bryce he was coming down for two weeks, Bryce had warned him that he’d have to work during the day. But he had also said his hours would be reduced so that they would still get some morning and all night together. Not once did this actually occur.
“It’s my fucking boss!” Bryce complained after the first two days. “He knows I want the time off and he’s testing me.”
“Test him back,” Roman suggested pleasantly. It was eleven o’clock at this point and Roman had just come off a very long shoot. “Take the time you agreed on and see what he does.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Well make it that simple.” He spoke through his teeth, trying his best to keep things civil. But fuck, it was hard.
Four days after that, the line of complaint started wandering into the realm of justification. “It’s not so bad,” Bryce tried as he pulled himself from bed with the morning sun. “We still get those two hours before bed each night – it's like how it was when you were in Brissy. Only I get you in person.”
“I should have just stayed in Brisbane then,” Roman had muttered with his head shoved in the pillow. He was only half-awake, but still extremely horny. Not that it would make any difference.
After a week and a half, the excuses stopped. Bryce no longer acted like anything was wrong, and even tried to pretend that everything was fine... better than fine! He’d leave cute little notes in the morning for Roman to wake up to, and he’d come home from work in good spirits and high hopes. But it wasn’t the same, and his attempts to make everything seem like they were fine actually made things even worse.
The real loser in all of this was their relationship... one that never really got going in the first place.
It was Roman’s last night in Sydney, nine o’clock on a Friday and he was in Bryce’s apartment, curled up on the couch, watching TV, checking his watch every five minutes hoping that maybe, by some miracle, Bryce would come home early tonight. It was a Friday for fuck’s sake! And his last night! And it was as he did this, as he cursed, swore and punched at the couch in frustration, that Roman realized this wasn’t a relationship he wanted to be a part of, and that it never could be.
When he had first come down to Sydney, Roman had considered the possibility that maybe he and Bryce were meant for something more. With the exception of the distance between them, they were perfect for one another. He knew that if they had lived in the same city, they’d be dating. But things had since changed.
Bryce wasn’t ready for a relationship. He might not have known it, but these past two weeks were proof. So long as Bryce was willing to put his work first and everything else second, there could be no ‘Bryce and Roman.’ It was a hard realization to come to.
“I’m home!” Bryce shouted an hour later as he strolled through the door, looking as beat as ever. To his credit, he tried to act upbeat and positive, but the effect was neutered by the bags under his eyes and the hunch in his back.
“There he is.” Roman cooed as he went to Bryce and pulled him into a loving, warm embrace. He then kissed him on the neck and held him close. He might have decided there was no future between them, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy his company while he had it.
“Someone is in a good mood,” Bryce said as he accepted the kiss and held Roman equally as tight. “What did I do to deserve this?” His hand slipped down and gave Roman’s ass a squeeze.
“Nothing.” Roman kept his face buried in Bryce’s neck. He took a whiff, savoring Bryce’s scent. “Just... I’m glad you’re back, is all.” For Roman, it was his way of saying goodbye. He would be forced to do it tomorrow in person and explain why this had to end. But that was for tomorrow. For now, he just wanted to revel in the perfect moment. This was what he’d remember most.
And as for Bryce? Roman was sure he’d get over it. Fuck, he wasn’t even sure if Bryce would care or notice? That was how little time they had spent together. On paper, the two men were as perfect as peas and carrots. But sometimes, on paper wasn’t enough and tomorrow Roman and Bryce would officially be finished.
It really was as simple, and sad, as that.
Chapter Fifteen
Bryce did not like airports. He never had. Ordinarily, there were a multitude of reasons for this too; so much so that they hardly needed to be explained. The noise that came with any airport was a factor, sure to turn even the most hardened traveler off. And if not the noise, there were the crowds. And if not the crowds, there was the manic rush that everyone seemed to be in. And if not this there was the prices of items in the store, how rude everyone always seemed to be, and the fact that nothing was ever on time. Ever!
There was no shortage of reasons to hate the airport, but on this particular morning, not a single one factored into Bryce’s reasoning.
“I hate airports,” Roman muttered as the two walked through the busy space and toward the check-in counter. There was a line, of course, and from the looks of things it wasn’t moving very quickly. But that was standard.
“You reading my mind again?” Bryce quipped. Or at least he tried to quip. His mood was sour at the moment and he was doing all he could to not let it show. He reached down, took Roman’s hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Yeah,” Roman rolled his eyes. “It takes a mind reader to know that people hate the airport.”
“Oh... yeah, right.” Bryce laughed nervously. Again, he was doing his best to stay upbeat, but he just couldn’t do it. Things were... well, to be honest, they were bad. There was a tension hovering between the two men that had been building all week. Bryce was pretty sure he knew what it was too... although he didn’t want to even consider it.
“I hate this.” They came to a halt at the end of the line of people. Roman checked his watch and stamped his foot. “They need to upgrade the flying industry.”
“How?”
“Beats me – I'm not a pilot. But they have to do something. This whole arriving hours before a flight thing is so dumb.”
“Oh, I don’t know...” Bryce smirked. It might have been his first real smile all morning. “It worked out pretty well for us last time.”
Roman smiled ear to ear at this, and his cheeks flushed red. “This is true. A shame there isn’t time today.”
“Ah well... I think we took care of it this morning, did
n’t we?”
To this, Roman put his arm around Bryce and kissed him on the cheek. With the exception of the sex they’d had before leaving, this was the first bit of love that Roman had shown Bryce all morning... maybe even all week? He was cold toward him, and Bryce knew why.
The past two weeks had been a bit of a mixed bag for Bryce, so much so that it was impossible to gauge how it had actually gone. On the one hand, every second that he and Roman had spent together was divine. There had been no arguing, no fighting, no awkward conversation or even moments of it. To see the two together would be to see a couple that functioned as perfectly as any in existence. They really were that good. But that was only when they were together.
Bryce’s work had fucked him. More specifically, his boss, Mr. Stark had fucked him. Even though Bryce had asked for the time off – and not even a lot of it, just a few extra hours each day – Mr. Stark had acted like he hadn’t approved them. Worse than that, he actually worked Bryce harder than usual. It was a test, and although Bryce passed, he wasn’t sure he wanted to.
Every day, Bryce started early. And every night he finished late. Even the weekend he was forced to come in, and that almost never happened. If Bryce hadn’t worked so hard to get where he was, he would have quit. But he had worked for it, and he was so close to finally being where he needed to be. So quitting wasn’t an option.
There was one other dynamic to this whole ‘Roman-work-situation' too; one that Bryce didn’t really want to admit but was kind of forced to. Despite how much he bitched and complained about having to work all the time and only getting to see Roman at night... Bryce kind of liked it.
Bryce just wasn’t a relationship person. It was as simple as that. And although he hated the long hours that he worked, he couldn’t envision a scenario where he wouldn’t want to work them. If it came to choosing work or a relationship, Bryce would choose work every single time. But of course, he didn’t tell Roman that. God no.
In fact, Bryce had actually liked the way things had worked out over the past two weeks. Before Roman arrived, he didn’t know what to expect. Was he supposed to just drop everything and act like a full-time boyfriend? He didn’t think so, and when work forced his hand, he chose to see the positive. He liked working all day and then having someone to come back to at night. He liked not having to act like a stereotypical partner that was just there all the time. He liked what he and Roman had. A shame then that Roman probably didn’t.
