That gave Sarah pause. Looking only at the condensation on her glass, she said, “That’s probably true. Your world… isn’t my world. You English are…” She laughed. “Completely insane.”
I smiled and leaned on the table top with both arms. It put me close to her, our elbows nearly touching. Lowering my voice to a conspiratorial pitch, I told her, “Tell me about your world then, Sarah. Tell me about where all the sane people live. You do that, and I’ll show you just how insane this world can be.” I couldn’t help but grin, showing teeth. “But only the best parts.”
Sarah bit her lip. It seemed like something she did often—this close to her, I could see the indents of her teeth, marks left behind by repeated nibbling. I hoped to fit my own teeth into those divots soon, but for now, I leaned my cheek against my fist and held her eyes, urging her not to look away—to confide in me.
“You really want to know?” she asked incredulously. “You won’t think we’re odd? Too simple?”
“If there’s anything I’ve learned about women, darlin’, it’s that there’s not a one alive who can be called simple. But odd? I think there’s a little of that in all of us.” I ventured even closer. Sarah didn’t pull away. Like a deer caught in a pair of headlights, she stared at me with some kind of mixture of fear and awe. “Now, c’mon. We’ll make a game of it. You tell me something, and I’ll tell you. That’s a fair trade, isn’t it?”
She looked to her sisters again, but both were entangled in their own conversations. Beth was talking animatedly, a big smile on her face, her hands waving. Wyatt jerked his head toward the other end of the bar and she nodded, then followed him as he led her away from the group. Hannah and Ash wouldn’t be moving anytime soon—Hannah was on the clock, and she’d served a couple of patrons while talking to him, whenever Jake was too busy. I smirked. So much for this being a stroll down Easy Street, bro.
Realizing she was the only one hesitating, Sarah finally nodded. I watched her steel herself, straightening her posture, hands clasped firmly in her lap. “All right,” she said. “What do you want to know?”
I took a slow pull from my beer. How to make you want me, I thought. That’s what I want to know. But what I said was, “Hopes and dreams. Let’s start there. Those are the most interesting parts of us all.”
4
Sarah
Hopes and dreams. Reid couldn’t have chosen a more difficult topic for an Amish girl if he’d tried.
We weren’t supposed to have hopes and dreams. Not the way the English do. Our whole existence was about simplicity. There was no room for ambition. Imagination. No way to advance past one’s station. The lines between us were all very clear, and we were all tucked into a nice, neat box by the time any notion of independence came about.
Hopes and dreams. What was I to tell him? Hannah or Beth were the ones to ask about that. Not me. I’d never entertained the idea of a life outside the options I’d been given.
“To be an obedient wife and serve our Lord God,” I said at last. Hannah had told me that not everyone in the English world was so fervent about their beliefs, but I didn’t want to lie to Reid. He said he was interested in me. Why paint a false portrait of who I was?
Reid snorted derisively and muttered, “Wow, you really are religious.” I frowned.
“Is there something wrong with that?”
He shrugged. “Only when it gets in the way of you livin’.”
I raised a brow. “And wanting a husband isn’t living?”
“Not if it’s the only thing you want.”
I sighed. Hannah was right. He didn’t understand. I took another drink of my Coke and asked him, “What about you, then? What are your hopes and dreams?”
Reid smirked. I liked that about him, that was for sure. There was something a little devilish about the incline of his lips, like he knew something I didn’t and it gave him power over me. It was cocky, but not in a bad way. I couldn’t help staring at those lips as he said, “Oh, I’ve got a few. Most of ‘em revolve around extreme sports.”
“Extreme… sports?” I asked. I knew what sports were, obviously. Many of the boys had played games in their youth. But what was so “extreme” about the sports Reid played?
“Yeah. Stuff like BASE jumping. Mountain climbing. Racing cars or bikes. That kind of thing.” He looked so proud of himself, chest puffed out, eyes gleaming. He ordered another beer. “It’s dangerous, but the rush is worth it. Pay’s not bad, either.”
“You… get paid to participate in sports?” I blinked at him. “I thought they were just for fun.”
“Well, fun’s a big part of it,” Reid admitted as he took a pull from his bottle. “But you know what they say. If you’re good at somethin’, never do it for free.” He winked at me. “Gotta pay the bills.”
Bills. Now there was another, semi-foreign concept for me to digest. Certainly we purchased things that we needed, and of course we paid taxes on our income and our land, but beyond that, there wasn’t much for us to spend money on. We didn’t use electricity, save for our buggy’s headlights. We had indoor plumbing, but you don’t need electricity for that. And as an unmarried woman, I wasn’t privy to our family’s finances enough to know where, or how, our money came and went in any great detail. But I’d gleaned from Reid’s tone, as well as some of the short primer Hannah had given us on English life before we’d walked into the bar, that bills here were plentiful. And sometimes, they were the sea in which people drowned in.
I stared at Reid, wholly mystified. The differences between us ran deep, all the way through the foundation of who we were and how we’d been raised. We were complete and total opposites. He had big dreams, threw himself into dangerous situations by choice and for fun, cursed and drank and very obviously didn’t give any consideration at all to what other people might think. Whatever the rules for English men were, he subverted them. Meanwhile, I’d never been permitted to dream, indulge in my vices, or toe the line between right and wrong. And until now, I’d never wanted to.
Talking with Reid had made me realize that simplicity might not be as freeing as I’d thought it was. In fact, it was beginning to sound a little like a cage. And I was growing envious of what he had that I did not.
Thou shalt not covet, I reminded myself, but it was no use. I was jealous of all the opportunities Reid had, both as a man and as part of the English world. But since I was neither of those things, I supposed I’d have to live vicariously through his stories. Maybe that would sate my desire to experience them; doing so directly might prove too dangerous.
After all, look what it had done to Hannah.
I turned a little more in his direction and asked, “What makes these sports so ‘extreme,’ anyway? Mountain climbing I can understand, but… what’s ‘BASE jumping’?”
Reid grinned roguishly. “It’s when you parachute or use a wingsuit to jump off a cliff and sail down to the bottom. I like the wingsuit, myself. It’s this jumpsuit made out of a lightweight material that kinda makes you look like a flying squirrel. Makes me feel like I’m flying.”
My jaw sagged. “And you just… put that on, and jump off a cliff?!” The thought was mind-numbing. Beyond imagining. When he nodded, my hand leapt to my chest. “Lord…”
He laughed, and the corners of his eyes crinkled. He had dimples when he smiled that broadly, visible even under that gruff beard. About a year ago, a few boys in the village had snuck in some wine and gotten drunk, and I’d seen them stumbling around and laughing before my father, scowling and stern as always, herded them back to their homes by their ears. Reid was reminding me of one of those boys now: laughing just a little too loud, his muscles a little too relaxed. But strangely, it was a good look on him. One that slowly coaxed a smile to my own lips.
“You’re so easily impressed,” Reid said at last, taking another, lazier swig from his beer bottle. “I feel like I could take you anywhere—shit, Walmart, even—and your mind would be blown.”
“I’ve been to Walmart,” I s
aid defensively. “Where do you think we get our toilet paper from?”
“I didn’t know you had toilet paper,” he said in a way that sounded like he was teasing. Then he shook his head. “Damn. Guess everybody’s been to Walmart. Well, that just means I’ll have to take you someplace else. Someplace a little nicer.”
Hannah walked by us with another drink for Ash and scoffed. “Don’t set the bar too high there, Reid.” When I looked at her, confused, she added, “Anywhere’s nicer than Walmart.”
“You… actually want to take me somewhere?” I asked him, narrowing my eyes. “Like… just the two of us?” I looked at Hannah again. “I don’t think…”
But Hannah was gesturing to me that it was okay. That I should just accept this strange man’s invitation and let him spirit me away to parts unknown. All within just a few minutes of meeting him! Was she so far removed from our culture and our practices that she couldn’t see what an incredibly stupid idea it was?
And reckless… but then, that was part of the appeal, wasn’t it? Getting to do stupid, reckless things for once in our lives. The draw was definitely there, and I felt it pull me ever forward with each of Reid’s successive smiles. I could hear his voice in my head, clearly as if he were actually speaking to me: C’mon, darlin’, what’s the harm in having a little fun? If my parents and my elders were to be believed, there was a lot of harm. But there was a chance they weren’t right about everything.
Hannah was a shining example of that. I still had a lot of questions for her about her life and how she lived it, but she seemed happy. And free. Free in a way I had never felt. Free in a way I knew Beth craved.
I hadn’t been out in the English world long enough for me to know if that was a good thing, but how would I figure it out unless I gave it a shot? Until I truly stepped out of my comfort zone and walked a mile in an English woman’s shoes, who was I to judge these people?
Besides… wasn’t that what Rumspringa was all about?
Wringing my hands, I said, “I don’t think I’d be comfortable in a place like this. Someplace so… city. So, if you were going to take me somewhere, I’d like it to be less… urban.”
Reid sat up a little straighter. His eyes widened slightly, like he was surprised I was actually going to agree to this. I was surprised, too. Everything I’d been taught, every rule I’d had ingrained in me, was screaming that this was a bad idea.
Yet there was something else whispering to me that this was the best decision I’d ever made. That getting closer to Reid was the right move. The interesting move. The start of an adventure.
His lips parted. His teeth showed. I held my breath as he began to speak.
“I think I know just the place, actually. There’s a county fair being set up out in the country—shit, probably not far from where your community sits. It’s got a lot of stuff I bet you’re familiar with. Hay rides, a petting zoo, shit like that. How’s that for comfortable?”
He seemed so proud of himself. Before I could answer, Hannah said, “Hey, that’s a great idea! You’ll love it, Sarah. Those petting zoos are all full of baby animals. You get to feed them and cuddle them and stuff.”
“I used to do that back on the farm,” I muttered, my anxiety getting the best of me again. “Besides, that sounds like something Beth would prefer, anyway.”
“Then we’ll make it a triple-date,” Ash chimed in, wresting away from Hannah’s lukewarm attentions. “All your sisters will be there, and I’m sure we’ll all find something we want to do.”
“Yeah,” Reid said huskily, his eyes still so intensely trained on me. “I’m sure we will.”
“Then it’s settled,” Hannah said, and Ash sauntered off to tell Wyatt and Beth at the other end of the bar. “We’ll go tomorrow. Seriously, Sarah, this is going to be great. You’ll love it. I promise.”
I looked at my younger sister then. She seemed so thrilled, so completely embroiled in whatever discussion she and Wyatt were having. Her face had lit up like a firefly and when Ash came by to tell her the news, she grinned so wide it almost touched her ears. A glance at Hannah confirmed that she was looking forward to it, too, although she only smirked and let her gaze linger on Ash’s rear a little too long—that was about as much enthusiasm as I could expect from her. Which meant that I was the only one out of the six of us who had any reservations whatsoever.
I chewed my lip. Had I spent too long cleaning up Hannah’s messes at home? Trying to take her place so that Mother and Father wouldn’t miss her so bad? To fill the void in our family her absence had so cruelly left behind? Perhaps I had. And perhaps that had altered my perspective, made me a little too cautious. I was only twenty-two, and this would likely be my last and only opportunity to experience things like this before I returned home to commit myself to the church. There was still time to live a little.
And with Reid leading the way, I had no doubt that it was going to be a crazy ride.
I looked at him and put on my best smile. I hoped it looked more courageous than I felt inside. “Okay then,” I told him. “It’s a date.”
5
Reid
It’s a date. Those three words were still ringing in my head the next evening as I hopped in my Shelby and set off for Hannah’s apartment. They were innocent. Sweet. There was no promise in them, no coy suggestion, either. I could take them at face value: Sarah was consenting to a date. Nothing else.
Though I was convinced that by the end of the night, she would be ready for so much more.
I’d picked the perfect fucking venue for our group outing, not just because it would make Sarah the most comfortable, but because it gave me one hell of an advantage. I was king of those fuckin’ carnival games, man. The Baron of Bumper Cars. The Khan of Go-Karts. Sure, it was kiddie shit, but you’d be surprised how much that kind of stuff impresses a girl—and pisses off all the guys there who’re trying to do the same, but coming up short.
Ash and Wyatt had probably picked up on my scheme. But the girls? For all they knew, I’d just so happened to intuit what would make them feel the safest. What setting would strike them as familiar. I was looking out for their best interests, so they thought. And that would make winning this damn bet so much easier.
I’d seen a little spark of desire in Sarah’s eyes last night. Or at least, something like it. I wasn’t sure a girl like her knew the first thing about lust, but her body language had spoken volumes every time I talked about extreme sports or threw a casual innuendo her way. She’d squirm and blush, like she was trying to hold back the full breadth of her reaction. I knew that kind well enough. They were all goody two-shoes until you got them in the sack. And then they were outright wild. In Sarah’s case, I bet she could become a sleek little sex kitten, with the right training. Though with her inexperience, she’d definitely need a firm hand…
Fuck. Cruising down the highway, and I had a rock-hard bulge in my jeans. I straightened up, trying not to let my erection brush against the steering wheel. No need to fuel that fire just yet. The bonnet sisters would probably faint dead away if they answered the door and came face-to-face with my dick trying to burst through my zipper.
But shit if that girl didn’t do something to me…
I brought my hand over from the gear stick and adjusted myself with a shift and a squeeze. The idea of coaxing a sex fiend out of this veritable nun was a hot one. I could just imagine her biting that sweet, full lip as her red-gold hair tumbled down her bare, creamy shoulders. Her breasts would be modest, but perfect, with soft pink nipples no other man had ever touched. She’d shiver and shake every time I touched her, but especially when I ran my coarse fingertips along her hips in the most intimate of ways.
I’d start by eating her pussy, ruining it for any other man who might come after. I’d show her what it was like to come, to lose control and surrender to utter bliss. I’d give her that rapture as many times as it took to have her wailing for me, begging for me to pop her tight cherry and make her mine…
Shit.
I had to stop or this hard-on was definitely not going away.
I turned my radio on and cranked up some good old Creedence Clearwater Revival—Fortunate Son. I was feeling goddamn lucky today, after all, and it seemed like a fine choice. On my left, Ash passed me on his motorcycle and I revved my engine in reply, drifting just a little too close for comfort right before he shot out ahead of me. He lifted his middle finger and switched into my lane. Asshole.
Whatever. He was just pissed that I’d had the idea on where to take the girls. Hannah wouldn’t be impressed with that shit. She’d be too busy babysitting her sisters all night to give a fuck about what Ash was trying to do, anyway. Wyatt might benefit a little, but he was awful with girls, and especially terrible when it came to crowds. Boy had a temper on him, and when guys get drunk and start stumbling into each other, it’s always the hothead who starts the brawl.
Speaking of Wyatt, he was in my rearview mirror, rumbling down the stretch of road behind us in his dark blue pickup truck. I snorted. The one thing I might ever agree with Wyatt on is that he got cheated out of a sweet ride. Ash had gotten our dad’s bike and I’d managed to salvage one of his cars, but Wyatt? He’d had to work three jobs during the summer to afford that piece of shit clunker. He was just lucky Beth was used to riding in a buggy. Hell, there was a chance the buggy smelled better.
We came off the highway in a caravan and took the exit into Hannah’s part of town. It was one of those zones that sat right in the middle of good and bad. It was obviously low-income, judging by the condition of the other houses and buildings, as well as by the fact Hannah was just a bartender, but it hadn’t completely gone to shit, either. Next to her apartment building was a small park and outdoor recreation area, and I saw a few kids playing on the jungle gym while their parents cooked hot dogs on one of the little grills. It was enough to make me feel safe parking my car for a few minutes while we all went up to Hannah’s door.
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