by Mina Carter
The pregnancy wasn’t that far along, so she wasn’t showing yet, and so far she’d managed to conceal her morning sickness from the other woman. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Rika. But to have shared a man’s bed without a mark meant the words of their marriage ceremony were pointless…and a child born to an unmarked woman? He would never claim her as his.
Sighing, she stood up and rubbed her lower back. Hot tears prickled the backs of her eyes, but she rubbed her back hard and ignored them. She would not cry. Not over him, not over any of this. Not even over the fact her father had survived and was apparently a new man after his brush with death, sorry for his treatment of her.
She snorted, the sound bitter. Yeah, like a leopard—or bear, in this case—ever changed its spots. Her father had probably heard that Scar hadn’t marked her and thought he could get the marriage annulled and sell her off to one of his cronies.
Her jaw set and she straightened her spine. Not happening. She was done being a pawn, for any man. Even if she still did love her husband…
Turning, she started to walk back to the cottage, lugging the bucket against her thigh. Her long skirts were pulled up to her knees, hooked into her waistband to stop them trailing in the snow and getting wet, her boots crunching on the new snowfall. The sound took her back to her childhood, running in the snow in her mother’s garden with Aevar, and she smiled, jumping a little to crunch more new snow. It made a better sound when it hadn’t been walked on before. Small pleasures. She could concentrate on them until the rest didn’t seem so bad.
So engrossed in her little game was she that she didn’t notice the two people by the cottage until she was nearly on them.
“Analise,” Rika called out, and Analise looked up, a smile already forming on her face. Which fell the instant she saw the man standing next to her.
Scar.
He’d found her.
Fear held her immobile for a moment, her eyes wide as they roved over him. Seeing him there, the familiar tall, broad-shouldered figure and handsome face, hit her like a punch to the gut. He took a step forward, and the spell broke.
Her heart exploded into action, racing so fast she thought it would burst. Without conscious thought, she turned on her heel and ran. Panic raced through her, the need to escape blotting out all other thoughts. A sob broke from her chest. She needed to run, escape, find somewhere safe for her and the baby.
“No!” Scar shouted behind her, the sounds of pursuit granting her another burst of speed.
The snow was no longer fun. Knee-high, it clung to her legs, hampering her progress and slowing her down. Cutting through the new fall, she reached the trampled path toward the village. The flattened snow meant she could run quicker, her arms and legs pumping the air for more speed.
It didn’t matter, though. Casting a desperate glance over her shoulder, she cried out at the sight of a big white form charging after her. Scar. He’d shifted. Another sob was torn from her lips as she tried to get more air into her lungs. She couldn’t outrun him, not as a man and definitely not in his bear form.
She was going to die. Tears filled her eyes, obscuring her vision. She’d run and now he was going to kill her for it. Her desertion had made him look a fool and his reputation would never stand for that.
Hot breath on her neck warned her he was right behind her. In a last desperate attempt to stay out of his reach, she ducked and changed direction, sprinting across new snow. He roared, the sound making her flinch, and he was after her in a heartbeat.
But running through fresh snow took its toll. Her heart ached, her lungs burned and her legs slowed. Not much, but enough she realized she wasn’t going to make it. Never had been. A small hill rose in front of her and she raced for it. If she could just get over the top…
A massive paw swiped through the air, hitting her in the side and tumbling her backward into the snow. It was like being hit with a wall, pain arching through her side and then her whole body as she rolled. Before she could work out which way was up, though, he was over her, massive paws either side of her head and sharp teeth just inches from her throat.
She froze in place, a single tear tracking down her cheek.
“Please,” she whispered, her voice broken. “Please don’t. I’m pregnant. Please don’t hurt the baby.”
She wasn’t above begging, not for the life of her child. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do to save her daughter. Nothing at all.
****
Analise was so beautiful, she took his breath away.
Scar stood next to his mother, waiting for the moment his wife looked up and he could see her face under the hood of the cloak. It was one he’d had made for her and a thread of pleasure rolled through his veins to see that she’d taken it, something he’d given her, when she left. And there was something else…relief, thankfulness, whatever, all rolled into one that she had been wearing it the day she left. It was a thick winter cloak. Without it, she’d never have survived the storm long enough for his mother to find her.
She looked up finally, a smile on her face, and his heart stuttered in his chest. She had always been beautiful, right back when they were kids. The delicate promise of beauty in the girl she had been was now fully realized in the slender vision of womanhood before him.
He stepped forward, mouth opening to pour out his apologies and tell her how he felt, but before he could get a word out, fear filled her eyes. All his illusions about how this meeting would go—her listening to his apologies and letting him wrap her in his arms again—were shattered as she cried out and ran.
“Fuck.”
He blinked, totally stunned for a moment, but then his bear roared and kicked him into action. The need to protect burst through his veins as he set off after her, heart pounding in his chest. Snow was treacherous. She could easily slip and hurt herself or the baby.
“Analise…please,” he called out to try and stop her flight, but all the wind returned to him were small sounds of fear and the scent of panic on the air. His soul ached. She was his wife and she was so scared that the mere sight of him had made her run. He’d terrified her so much she thought she had to escape from him.
He ran over the snow, big warrior’s body easily gaining on her before she could hurt herself, but it wasn’t fast enough for the beast inside. The change rolled up before he could stop it, his bear form bursting from his human one between one step and the next in a crack of bones and slide of skin and fur. His paws hit the snow, his speed increasing as he ran the little female down.
He’d almost reached her when she sobbed and ducked, changing direction and sliding under and around him. Spinning his bulk around, he spied her sprinting in the other direction, but then his mother’s fear-filled cry reached him.
“Aevar! The crevasse!” she yelled, pointing in the direction Analise was running.
Utter fear froze the big bear for a moment, then he was running like he’d never run before. Analise was crying, her steps blundering, as though she couldn’t see where she was going. That had to be it because surely she wasn’t so scared of him she would throw herself to her death? Not carrying his child?
“Please…let me make it…” he whispered to any power that might be listening and dug deep. With a feral snarl of effort, he caught up with her, lashing out with a big paw to knock her sideways before she reached the top of the rise and the treacherous edge of the crevasse it hid.
She screamed as she rolled back down the small hill, and he was on her, trying to stop her descent, but his paws weren’t made for this sort of thing. Instead, he hunkered down, his bear form protectively above her as they slid to a stop.
She lay beneath him, her eyes wide and filled with tears as she looked up.
“Please…please don’t. I’m pregnant. Please don’t hurt the baby.”
Her words cut him to the bone. The sharp pain lanced through him and cut off his ability to breathe as surely as if she’d reached inside his chest and crushed his lungs as he realized what he’d done. A
s he comprehended that he’d reduced her to begging for her—their—child’s life.
As if he would ever hurt a hair on either of their heads.
His bear rolled back, folding into his human form without any of the normal complaint until he was braced over her as naked as the day he’d been born. He didn’t care. The cold didn’t bother him and he had the woman he loved to shield from its icy fingers.
Reaching up, he smoothed her hair from her face, his heart aching again when she flinched at his touch.
“Shhh, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you, I promise.” Keeping his weight on one arm, he fussed with her cloak, tucking it more securely around her so she didn’t get cold. Her eyes didn’t leave his, her entire body tense and wary.
“I love you.” He didn’t bother with any flowery words, just went right for the truth. More truthful than he’d ever been with her. “I always have, Ana. You have to believe me.”
Her eyes widened as he shortened her name in a way he hadn’t before. Without missing a beat, he tore the scab off the wound in his heart that he’d been carrying for so many years.
“I was a fucking idiot. So many years I was consumed by hatred for you and your father. Convinced that our friendship as children meant nothing to you, when…” He paused and closed his eyes. “I loved you so much, and you stood by and said nothing when he cast me out. His men gave me this”—he motioned to his face—“and left me to die in the snow.”
Her lips parted on a gasp, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, her eyes filled with fresh tears as he spoke again.
“But I should have realized he’d never have let you go. Never have let me stay. I was too much of a threat, even as a boy.” He smiled. “Because I had something he never did…your heart. I’m just hoping the girl you were will let the woman you are forgive me for everything I’ve done. I treated you like shit and I don’t deserve you…but please, let me try and make it up to you. If not for us, then for the baby?”
He went there, as low as he could go, using the child she carried to get her to agree to give him another chance. She lay in silence, and his heart clenched. Perhaps it was too late? Perhaps what he’d done had ruined everything between them?
No, he couldn’t think that…
“Even if you don’t want me, don’t love me…” he carried on, desperately filling the silence between them so she couldn’t say no and put him from her. “At least let me look after you and the child. Make sure you’re safe and protected.”
The awful pause as she just looked up at him, her face smooth and expressionless ate at his composure. Then, finally, she nodded, and he almost groaned with relief.
“Thank you,” he muttered in a thick voice, trying to resist crushing her to him in a hard embrace. “Oh snow, thank you.”
Instead, he held himself perfectly still as she lifted a hand to touch his face. A soft sigh escaped him as her fingertips brushed the scar there, and her expression switched from the blank mask to burgeoning realization.
****
“Scar…Aevar?”
He was Aevar. The boy she’d loved and lost.
The knowledge hit her like a blow as he nodded. “Yes. I couldn’t go by that name anymore. As far as anyone knew, Aevar was dead. I had to become someone else. Had to become something else.”
She nodded. That was understandable. If her father had known he’d survived, he’d have moved heaven and hell to track him down and finish him off. But…
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice was low, still wary. She couldn’t believe that this was happening. She’d heard the words when he said he loved her, but couldn’t quite make them sink in. “Why did you…”
She couldn’t finish that for a moment, fresh tears welling up. Clearing her throat, she tried again. “Why didn’t you bond me?”
The question wasn’t the one she’d been meaning to ask, but it didn’t matter. As soon as the words were out, she winced at the tortured tone in her voice and realized that was what she’d really wanted to know. His identity… She looked at him again and saw her Aevar, the boy she remembered, in the set of his eyes and in his smile.
She’d always known it was him, deep down. Which was why she’d trusted him when he’d come to her in secret. Because he’d always been hers.
His expression was somewhere between disgusted at himself and in pain. “Because I… No, there is no excuse. I did it to hurt you because I thought you didn’t care about me. And I am so, so sorry. Believe me, my love, if I could do all this again, I’d bond you in an instant.”
The sound of truth rang in his words, and she found herself reaching out again, wanting to ease his pain.
“I…” She trailed off, frowning as she marshaled her thoughts.
She loved him, always had. As Aevar the boy. As Scar the formidable warrior. As the husband who hadn’t been able to keep his hands off her at nights, even when he couldn’t make the connection with her in the day.
“You were cruel and unkind.” He flinched at her words, but nodded, owning up to them. That honesty made her wriggle to sit up, her hand on his broad chest. “But I played a dangerous game, too, thinking I could outwit you and I’m sorry. That was low of me. Not,” she said quickly, “that it excuses some of what you did.”
“But…?” he asked, hope in his dark eyes. “Will you forgive me? Perhaps even…come to love me again one day?”
“I love you now,” she admitted. “I always have. Now please…take me home?”
****
He did, gathering her up into his arms, still stark naked.
Less than an hour later, they returned to the keep. Scar…Aevar, she reminded herself, fully clothed now. She’d giggled a little when he’d first picked her up until she realized that the only reason he’d shifted so quickly—too fast to remove his clothes, destroying them in the process—had been to save her from falling to the crevasse she hadn’t known was there. He’d ruined his clothes to save her.
Now, though, all her thoughts were on the Einar, her husband’s clan, as he carried her through the main gates. Not wanting to look around and see the same condemnation in their eyes as before, she chose instead to look at Aevar. No, she decided as she studied his handsome profile, Scar suited him better. It was the name he’d chosen for himself, as he’d played the hand life had dealt him and played it well. Most people she knew, even the hardiest adult bear warriors, would have given up if they’d been beaten as he had and left for dead. Yet he hadn’t. He’d fought to live, had grown up and fought back, amassing a clan of warriors around him and making a name and a reputation for himself as he fought to correct the corruption in the clans. The corruption that was her father.
His love for her had been his weakness, and he’d put all those years of work at risk to claim her as his bride. Thinking she was doing the right thing, she’d nearly ruined his plans.
“Don’t think so hard,” he murmured, his eyes alight with laughter and love as he slid a sideways look at her. He carried her easily, as though she weighed nothing, her body cradled protectively in his arms. “You get the cutest little crease in the middle of your brow. It’s…uhm…”
He cleared his throat, looking away uncomfortably, and she frowned.
“It’s what?” she asked, lifting the arm that was over the back of his shoulders to play with the ends of his loose hair. She loved his hair. It was softer than it looked and felt like silk against her skin.
His gaze snapped to hers, and she caught her breath at the heat he didn’t try to hide. “It’s sexy. Carry on frowning and you’ll bring me to my knees.” He leaned in and nuzzled her nose with his. A soft, lover’s touch. “Because the only other option is taking you up to bed right now.”
She arched an eyebrow, aware of the people massed in the main courtyard, but ignoring them. “Is that a problem?”
For a moment, she seemed to have stunned him into silence, then he cleared his throat.
“I didn’t think such an offer would be welcome,” he admitted.
“Not just yet. Maybe not even until after the baby was born.”
She blanched. “You want to make me wait that long? Don’t you…you don’t find me attractive. Not while I’m with child.” It wasn’t a total surprise; some men didn’t. She just hadn’t thought Scar would be one of them.
“What?” He stopped right there in the middle of the courtyard, the walls of the hall and north tower looming over them. Dropping his voice so only the two of them could hear, he carried on, “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course, I find you attractive. If we weren’t in public, I’d tumble you to the ground like I wanted to in that damn hall of your father’s and take you here and now. But this time,” he warned, his eyes flashing with dangerous heat, “I won’t stop until my fangs are in your shoulder and the whole keep knows my name.”
Her lips quirked. “The whole keep does know your name.”
“Sassy wench,” he growled, but a smile teased his lips. “You’ll pay for that. I have better things you can be doing with your mouth than answering your lord back.”
His expression sobered a little. “My heart, I will love you to the day I die and the fact you’re pregnant? With my child? That only makes you sexier. But…I don’t want to hurt you or the baby.”
Her heart softened and she reached up to run her fingertips over his cheek. Her big, tough warrior wasn’t so tough after all, “You won’t hurt either of us, so don’t worry.”
He’d opened his mouth to reply when a deep, male voice intruded on their moment. “Welcome home, Lady Analise. I’m glad the lord found you safe and well and convinced you to return to us.”
Surprised, she looked around to find Arick offering a small smile. Behind him the rest of the warriors were massed, and behind them, the keep servants. All of them were looking at her and she wanted to curl up into a small ball, hiding her face against Scar’s throat. These people didn’t like her and they never would. But she didn’t give into her fear. Instead, she sat up taller in Scar’s arms and nodded to the big warrior.
