I’d been doing it for almost two hours now, and up until ten minutes ago, I thought I was doing great. That’s when it’d gone up to the third level, and I’d had to hold my ass to stop my guts coming out of it.
Seeing my reaction, Bexley had run to the bathroom to throw up, and that’s where I was at now—still holding my ass.
Picking up the monitor, I looked at the screen and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the number four.
“How’s it going? She’ll just be a couple more minutes,” Gramps said as he came back in.
“It’s on the fourth level, I think that’s the max, so it should be over soon,” I replied, rolling onto my back and thinking really it wasn’t so bad.
I was wrong. Worse than that, I was so far from right that wrong wasn’t even the word to use for it.
“Four? Cheeseless crust, boy, there’s thirteen settings on it. You’ve got another nine to go.”
“What?” I whimpered, lifting my head up.
“Says right here that the fourth setting is what the woman feels when labor is just starting to establish a regular rhythm. The contractions are far apart, and it’s just a warning to let her know the baby’s coming and to prepare. Wait until the real shit hits you, you’re gonna pass out.”
“Why are you here?” I croaked, raising my head back up to glare at him. I was never, ever taking advice from a Townsend again.
“Because you called me crying. I came over to help you, and now I’m just going to watch you poop your pants.”
Just then, the next contraction hit, and in the process of rolling into a ball, I forgot to hold my ass, meaning that a loud fart burst out of me, which got a responding howl from Doyle.
Gramps’ deep chuckles grew louder until it was bursting out of him. “Holy hell, you’re the dog whisperer.”
Apparently, that’s what Doyle reacted to—my pain farts. With each contraction, another one came out of me until all you could hear was the damn dog howling away and Gramps bellowing out his laughter in time with it all.
“You sure you don’t want to remove those? You’re only on the sixth level.”
Looking pitifully over at Bex, who was looking pale as she sat on the other sofa watching me, I shook my head. “No, I want to go through this for you. Hyenas have babies out of their clitoris, I can do this.”
I should have quit when I started sounding like Cole, but I didn’t. I got all the way to the established labor, my contractions two and a half minutes apart when I realized that it wasn’t a fart that was about to happen.
There was no way in hell I was shitting in front of anyone, so I got up and ran as fast as I could with the contraction still tearing my guts out of my ass hole to the bathroom, only just making it in time.
That might have been one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, but pooping with the machine still squeezing the life out of me every couple of minutes was a close second.
Each contraction made me yell out a higher-pitched version of my normal yell, which got Doyle and Gramps responding with their own noises.
Yeah, the asshole uploaded it to the internet. Apparently he was old and didn’t realize he’d done it, but I wasn’t buying that for a second.
The money he’d gotten got from it paid for the furniture for the nursery, though, and she had a savings account waiting for her by the time she came into the world by cesarean at thirty-seven weeks.
The second I held her, I knew I’d never felt love like that before in my life.
I loved her mom with every breath in my lungs, but the way I felt when she opened her eyes and looked at me for the first time… It was like all the oxygen had been sucked back out of them, and all that was left was her.
It was suffocating.
It was overwhelming.
It was the most beautiful experience of my life, even though it sounded far from it.
Imagine having your reason for living being a part of you. Bexley was part of me without a doubt, I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it, but our daughter, Santana Lawrie Richards, was literally part of me. I’d made her with her mom, and she was the best thing I’d ever done in my life.
Together, they made up the reason my heart was beating, and my lungs inhaled oxygen. I gave no shits if it sounded corny to people, it was the only way I could describe it.
And when I walked in from saying goodbye to our families later that night and saw Bexley holding her, I said a quiet thank you to Lawrence for keeping them safe.
I wasn’t religious, and I wouldn’t ever say religion was pointless, but I’d just never based my life around it. But I knew that old man would never leave his granddaughter alone, so he had to be watching over her.
That meant that when Bexley fainted and was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and her blood pressure rose to a dangerous level, I knew she’d be okay.
Even when she was rushed in for an emergency cesarean, and even though I was scared out of my mind, I knew he’d make sure she was okay.
I could live my life never watching her go through that again, but Bexley had Lawrence’s stubborn blood in her veins, and so did Santana, and with me watching over both of them, they would be okay.
Leaning over them both, I smiled as my baby girl twitched her mouth. “Milk dreams, she’s going to be a hungry monkey when she wakes up.”
“The nurse gave us some formula in case I can’t feed her,” Bex whispered, stroking Santana’s hand. “I’m determined to feed her myself, though.”
Kissing the top of her head, I breathed her in and felt some of the lingering tension from earlier today leave me. I could say I knew she was going to be okay, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t scared out of my mind.
“We have a plan b if you can’t, and the nurse said that some babies struggle to latch on initially, so don’t blame yourself if she doesn’t.”
“What if she gets dehydrated or won’t take the bottle? What if—”
“Bexley, we’re in the best place if any of those become a problem. Don’t worry about what you don’t know is going to happen, you’ll drive yourself crazy and miss out on her first moments. It’ll be okay regardless.”
Lifting teary eyes to look at me, she rasped, “But how do you know?”
Moving her hair away from her face, I stared down into the beautiful brown eyes I’d dreamed about for years and would be lucky to have in my life until I took my last breaths. “Because she may have my last name, but she’s got Pops’s blood in her veins.”
And later on that night, when my baby girl woke up, screaming her ever-loving heart out, she latched on and fed from her mother. Then, not even close to being full, she fed from the small bottle of formula I was holding.
That’s how it went after that. She was either the hungriest baby in the world, or she just wanted to share her feedings with both of her parents.
Her great-grandpa up in heaven got the final kick in the ass in to me, though. A majority of babies say ‘dada’ or ‘da’ as their first word. My girl didn’t.
No, she pointed at the big furry asshole who never left her side and said, “Dol!”
Three years later…
I was in so much shit. I don’t mean like the kind you get in when you make a small mistake, but like the kind you make when you’ve made the biggest mistake in the world.
Oh, and I had food poisoning. Merry Christmas!
I’d hardly slept last night after it hit at around midnight, but at one point, I’d woken up holding onto the toilet, so maybe that counted as sleep?
This morning, I’d been curled up in a ball in front of the bathroom door, begging for Bex to come out so I could go in when she’d opened the door and stepped over me.
I had no idea why she was so quiet until I’d given the bathroom a cursory glance while I was on the toilet dying and had seen the white stick beside the sink.
The prospect of how she was going to react if it was positive meant my food poisoning changed ends, and I had to jump up to bend over the bowl before I thr
ew up on the floor.
I don’t recommend making that move and would encourage people to make a firm choice on which end you’re going to go with and stick to it.
Not that I really noticed anything, though, because all I could think about was what that white stick meant.
An alarm going off on the other side of the door made me lift my head as I flushed the toilet.
“Hey, are you going to be much longer? I left something in there… And I kind of…” she stopped, and I heard her groan. “Uh, I need it?”
That meant she hadn’t seen the results! If she wasn’t threatening to cut my balls off, and she wasn’t crying—she didn’t know.
So, mustering all the strength I had left in my dying body, I crawled across the floor and used the counter to pull myself up onto my knees to pick the test up.
There was no sign language to decipher, no cryptic code.
The words on the screen were enough.
I needed a plan.
Bexley
Six months ago, I’d had a miscarriage. I was only eight weeks into the pregnancy, which was a surprise for both of us, but we wanted that baby badly the second we knew about it. Four days later, I woke up bleeding and had to accept that our dream was gone.
I cried. No, I broke. I’d never met it, never held it, but I’d loved it from the first second I knew it was there.
Logan had been amazing. He’d held me during my downs, he’d supported me through the recovery and acceptance phase, and he’d helped me hide it from Santana so that she didn’t get upset, too.
He was always my anchor, but he was also my shield against the world, and I loved him more than life.
And my baby girl, who looked so like her daddy, but had the personality of her great-grandad, helped me realize that even though I’d lost a life, I’d still created a life, and I was so very grateful for that.
So, when I realized that I hadn’t had my period for three months, I immediately assumed it was a side effect of the miscarriage. It had to have an impact on hormones and things, right?
But after a week, I picked up a test just to make sure and waited for Logan to be comatose this morning to take it.
I had no idea that he was going to wake up after a night of puking and things right after I’d taken it.
What if it was positive?
What if it was negative?
What if I lost it or it didn’t have a heartbeat already?
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t realize the door had opened until I felt a tapping on my foot and saw Logan face down on the floor.
“I realize this is the worst time to ask this,” he rasped, moving his face until he was using my feet as a cushion, “but I need you to marry me. You keep saying no, but I want you to have the same last name as Santana and me.
“I want the piece of paper that legally ties us together. I don’t know why it’s so important, but it feels more painful than the pain your Christmas dinner is giving me in my gut.”
I wanted that, too. “Yes.”
“I know it’s stupid,” he continued, pulling himself up until he was on his knees with his head on my stomach, “but not to me, it isn’t. Our lives have always been side by side and interwoven together, and I want to finally see you write Bexley Richards when you sign something. I want to see my ring on your finger and look down at work to see I’m wearing yours—”
“I said yes,” I repeated loudly, getting his attention.
Lifting his head weakly, he smiled—or grimaced, it was a close call on which one it was—at me. “Can you get the ring out of my underwear drawer, please? I bought it before I proposed to you the first time, so I think it’ll fit.”
Throwing my head back, I burst out laughing. “I’m not entirely sure this is the best proposal story to tell our grandkids.”
Sinking back down until he had his forehead on the cool, wooden floor, he mumbled, “What’s more romantic than knowing your grandpa loved your grandma her whole life and that their love story continued until they had kids and grandkids together?”
Feeling the first tear spill down my cheek, I got down on my knees beside him. “I love you.”
Turning his head sideways, he slurred, “Love you, too. Now, go and get the ring.”
I’d just gotten to my feet when he grabbed my ankle and held out his other hand. “By the way, you’re pregnant.”
That fear I had before was still there, but I had so much happiness that it didn’t cripple me hearing those words.
Then he added to it. “This one’s going to be okay, I know it. Once I can stop shitting, we’ll call the OB-GYN and get an appointment for a check-up, just so you don’t have to panic.”
My reply was easy. “Deal, but you’re taking me to see a Victorian fatberg for our honeymoon.”
About the Author
I’m a British author who grew up all over the world. My parents were diplomats, so we were posted to all of the corners of the earth and it was a blast. Some wouldn’t seem so awesome if you heard about them, but my parents always made it a fun experience and it molded my brother and I into who we are today.
I live in Wiltshire in the west country of the UK. At random times of the day, I’ll hear a moo from the fields around me, or get a whiff of that…uhhh…’country air’, and I love it! I might not have grown up in the UK, but I’m a British girl to the bone (regardless of the suspicious whiffs coming in from the fields).
I’m a single mother with a son who is nearing his teenage phase. Maybe he’s reached it early? Who knows. But he’s awesome and has a personality and sense of humor that I can only attribute to my family. We’re slightly bonkers, we have a wicked sense of humor and we find the positives in every situation. I’m so proud to be his mum and to watch him grow and mature.
Writing was something that I’d always done. I had a teacher in the third grade who always set us the task of writing a story and making it into a book every weekend. After I left school, I kept this up and wrote as often as I could or just plotted out books. This evolved into me taking the plunge and publishing my first book in 2016 and I’ve been typing ever since.
I’m proud to be an Indie Author, and I absolutely love writing out my crazy Providence characters and the more complex ones in my other series’. It doesn’t matter if it’s romantic comedy or something with more suspense – so long as it has a HEA I’ll do it!
I’ve got so many more planned.
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Also by Mary B. Moore
More books by this author
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Providence Series
Forever Mine – Ren & Maya
More Than Forever – Luka & Isla
Until Forever – Cole & Ebru
My Forever – Cole & Ebru pt 2
Choosing Forever – Brett & Sabine
Until Tom, Finding Forever – Tom & Sonya
Forever Ducked – All of the crazies
Bound to Me Forever – Adam & Scarlett
* * *
Providence Gold
Until Fools Find Gold – Noah & Luna
Mad Gold – Madix & Dahlia
Tainted Gold- Tate & Lilith
Going For Gold – Levi & Charlotte
Forbidden Gold – Parker & Ariana
* * *
Family Ties
Great Sass—Elijah & Sadie
Shift Happens—Jackson & Sasha
Coming soon….
* * *
Cheap Thrills Series
Fireball – DB & T
abby
Living On A Dare – Ellis & Jose
Classy AF – Raul & Rose
Talk Flirty To Me – Jarrod & Katy
Just Good Friends — Garrett & Zuri/Tamsin
Eat Crow — Logan & Bexley
Alex’s book is coming soon…
Covent Garden Series
Quids In
* * *
Valiant
Compass
* * *
Doughty
Force Projection
* * *
Quick Snap Novella
Out Of Bounds
* * *
Available on all Amazons.
* * *
US: www.amazon.com/Mary-B-Moore/e/B01DR11PPM
UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mary-B-Moore/e/B01DR11PPM
Eat Crow (Cheap Thrills Series Book 6) Page 28
