“I have an appointment with a psychic,” said Mom.
“A psychic? What in the hell for?”
“My private investigator didn’t find any proof of your father’s affair, so I’m hoping a medium will be able to help.” She made it sound like the logical next step.
God damn! I had picked the wrong day to drink so much whiskey and beer. The invective that almost flew out of my mouth would have not only pissed off my mother but possibly also permanently damaged our relationship. I bit down hard on my lip to stop myself from saying anything.
Kat sat next to me, and I nestled my head on her shoulder, half-expecting her to push me away; she didn’t.
“How are you feeling?” She ran her fingers through my hair.
“I’m so sorry!” I blubbered.
Her body tensed. “For what?” I didn’t think she really wanted to know. I was positive she imagined Samantha and me indulging in an afternoon tryst.
“For being such a loser.” I couldn’t stem the tide of tears. “You deserve so much more. Someone who can provide for you… better than I can. Someone who doesn’t work at Beantown Café.”
“Honey, what are you talking about?” Kat lifted my chin and gazed into my eyes.
“I don’t make millions of dollars like we thought I would. If I did, you could shop all of the time.” I attempted to wave my hand in the air, but ended up whacking my chin.
Kat’s expression saddened, and I felt responsible.
“Well, I think we need to get more coffee in her and a nice hot meal,” Mom interrupted. “Or who knows if she’ll ever stop feeling sorry for herself?”
I nestled my chin onto Kat’s chest, ignoring my mother, even if I was grateful she had nipped my outburst in the bud.
“Cori, finish your drink, and we’ll go to Pablo’s Café.” My mother is not a woman who can be ignored. “I think you’ll need some greasy food, and lots of it. The psychic is just around the corner from the restaurant.”
I did as I was told. All the while, Kat held me. The sadness never left her eyes, and I wanted to kiss it away, but I couldn’t with my mother sitting there tapping her watch.
By the time we reached my mother’s appointment, my head was starting to clear up. I wasn’t in the best of shape, but I no longer felt like weeping every other second. Never again would I drink whiskey. It brought out all of my sadness. I kept thinking of that saying, “Loose lips sink ships.”
When we entered the psychic’s “office,” which was actually her home, I had a hard time not laying into my mother about her stupidity. Seriously, it was bad enough that she had hired a PI who didn’t find anything, but now she was seeing a shyster! What next? A tattoo on her forehead that read “I’m a fool. Take advantage of me”? Or maybe a computer hacker?
“Now, Cori, I want you to be on your best behavior.” Mom flashed her best Mommie Dearest look.
“Oh, of course, Mother. Why would I misbehave here, of all places?” I looked away in disgust. The place reeked of incense: patchouli, my least favorite scent. The loony had a corkboard with testimonials attached to it. Seriously, someone came to her to find their cat, and miraculously, Fifi the cat was found. Or maybe it just got hungry and came home. I doubted it was a psychic miracle.
A dark-haired woman with olive skin rushed into the office, aka her entryway. Smiling, she shook my mother’s hand, and then Kat’s. She didn’t offer to shake my hand. Instead, she said, “I don’t want you here.”
“What?” I replied, bewildered.
“You have a bad aura. I can’t work with anyone while you’re in the house. You have to leave.” The loon’s face and posture hardened.
I looked to Mom and Kat for support, not receiving any. “Are you serious?” I said to the woman.
“Deadly.”
“You’re deadly serious that I have a bad aura. Or do you just know I can see through your bullshit?” I couldn’t hold my opinion in any longer.
“Cori!” Mom was not pleased. Her Mommie Dearest face turned into an “I will kill you if you embarrass me further” look. Kat seemed shell-shocked by the whole thing.
“Fine, Mother. I’ll go back to Pablo’s and have a drink. Kat would you like to join me?” I put my hand out.
“Kat also has an appointment.” Mom informed me.
“What? Kat, you think I’m having an affair?” I was too stunned to move.
“Ha! You have no faith in yourself. You’d never have an affair,” sputtered the clairvoyant.
“Honey, it’s not what you think. I’ll tell you later.” Kat turned her back on me.
Without another word, I stormed out of there and headed to Pablo’s. I was beyond pissed. How could Kat think I was having an affair? True, I had just spent the day getting blotto with Samantha when I should have been writing, but Samantha needed a friend. How did that constitute cheating?
And how did that nutjob know I had no confidence in myself? I didn’t like her to begin with, but now she was my archenemy. Why in the world did my girlfriend want to talk to a medium? Mom has always been crazy and attention-seeking, but Kat? Sure, she loved to be the center of attention and wore tops that make my eyes bulge out of my head, but this was a whole new level. I decided I needed her to stop hanging out with Mom. It was getting weird—insane, even.
Only two seats, side-by-side, remained vacant at the bar. I grabbed the one near the wall, placing my jacket on the seat next to me so no one would sit there. After ordering a margarita, I asked for some chips and salsa, hoping to soak up the alcohol. I had to be up at five the next morning for my shift at Beantown. I sat there sipping my marg, eating chips, watching the Red Sox on the tiny TV above the bar, and stewing.
Kat appeared after forty-five minutes. She slipped into the seat next to mine, not saying a word. I motioned to the bartender and ordered her a glass of red wine. Neither of us spoke. Kat nibbled at the chips nervously.
I couldn’t stand the tension. “Seriously, Kat. You think I’m fucking someone else?”
The man standing behind us gave me a startled look before hurriedly placing his order at the bar.
I was too upset to care that I was causing a scene. The bartender overheard, too, although he was better at hiding it. A quick peek at me, out of the corner of his eye, was his only acknowledgment.
“Cori, your mother went there because she thinks your father is having an affair. I had a different reason.”
“What?” I tried to erase all condescension from my face, hoping Kat would open up.
She never looked me in the eye. Staring at her purse in her lap, she muttered, “Just things.”
“Does my mother know what these things are?” Once more, I tried to mask my frustration.
She looked so downcast and unsure of herself—not like my Kat at all.
“She knows some of it. Only because she’s guessed.”
That hurt. The insinuation was that my mother either paid more attention to Kat or knew my girlfriend better than I did. Probably both were true, which annoyed me.
I lifted Kat’s face to stare into her eyes. “I know I’m not the easiest person to talk to, and I’m not completely in touch with my own feelings, but I want you to know one thing: I’m madly in love with you, and I’m always here for you.”
She gave a half-laugh, half-cry. “Wow, I think that’s the first time you’ve admitted it.”
“That I love you? I say that to you all of the time.”
“No, you don’t. But I was referring to you being emotionally detached. From yourself …” She paused, and then added, “And from me.”
If she had punched me in the nose, I wouldn’t have been more stunned.
“Is that why you went? To find some hocus-pocus way to get me to talk?” I tried to get Kat to smile. I failed.
“No. It was about me. But I might try to find a witch to cast a spell on you.” The tiniest, most fleeting of smiles appeared on Kat’s face for a moment.
I leaned over and kissed her cheek. “You
don’t need any spells. From now on, I’ll try to open up more.” I ordered another margarita, and Kat gave me a look. “I know I shouldn’t. However, Mom will be back soon, and I want to be in my happy place to hear about her appointment.” I pushed the empty glass away, noticing a paper cup sitting by Kat’s wineglass. “What’s that?”
She colored. “Oh, it’s from Kay.”
“Who’s Kay?”
“The woman I just saw.”
“Her name is Kay? Not some fancy East European name like Agnieszka?”
“Yep. Just Kay.”
“Why’d she give you a paper cup?” I really was walking on eggshells, so I asked as innocently as possible.
“I’m supposed to pour the water over my head at midnight.”
I reached for the cup, to see the magic potion, but Kat slapped my hand away. “She told me you shouldn’t touch it. You’d ruin it.”
Luckily, the bartender arrived with my drink. I sipped it quickly so I wouldn’t say anything stupid. “Oh, I understand.” I said slowly. “What’s the ceremony for?”
“To find answers.” Her body tensed, and I knew she wouldn’t tell me what answers she sought.
“That’s cool,” I mumbled.
“Cori, you’re still drinking?” My mother had arrived. She didn’t sound overly annoyed, and she even ordered a drink for herself.
“Yep.” I wanted to add that I was looking for answers, but I didn’t want to sleep on the couch, so I kept my mouth shut.
“Well, let’s get a table. I want to pick your brains about something.” Mom informed the bartender we were getting a table and instructed him to bring the drink to us.
“Good luck finding anything in here.” Kat rubbed the top of my head somewhat lovingly; mostly, she looked lost.
I held her hand and we followed Mom to the hostess to request a table. I had eaten nothing but crap all day. I was starving.
“Well, that was informative,” announced my mother as soon as the hostess left us alone.
I started to speak, but stopped when Kat dug her nails into my thigh.
“What did she say?” Kat asked.
That we were, once again, discussing whether or not my father was having an affair disgusted me. Yet I knew there was no way to stop my mother searching for an answer until she was completely satisfied one way or another. It annoyed the hell out of me that she didn’t just ask the man.
“Nothing definitive, actually. But she gave me much to think about.” Mom fiddled with her fork, which was out of character for her.
“Where’s your water?” I sniggered, and Kat whacked my leg under the table.
“In the car. I didn’t want you, the vile non-believer, to touch it.” Mom glared at me. “Are you going to play nice, or do I have to send you home so Kat and I can have an adult conversation.”
Adult conversation. I was the only one at the table who hadn’t lost my fucking mind.
I mimed locking my mouth shut, pretending to throw the invisible key over my shoulder.
“Good.” Mom continued to speak non-stop for the next ten minutes. I tuned her out completely; otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my trap shut.
When I heard her ask Kat about her appointment, I checked back in to the conversation. Laying a supportive hand on my girlfriend’s thigh, I hoped Kat would give me a clue about what was bugging her—any clue.
“Oh, she gave me much to think about as well.”
That was all she said. Great! Now I had much to think about.
Mom glanced in my direction briefly and looked sympathetic. Maybe I could fish for some information or hints at our next nail appointment.
“You won’t believe this, Nell, but Cori actually admitted she’s not good at opening up.” A devious smile returned to Kat’s face.
“Twenty-eight years and two degrees from Harvard and you’ve finally learned that, Cori.” Mom lifted her marg glass to salute me.
“It seems like I’m not the only one having issues lately.”
Kat’s face fell. Trying, and failing, to hide a look of betrayal, she ran from the table.
“Jesus, Cori. You can be such a jackass when you want to be!”
“Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?” My voice was filled with accusation and guilt.
“Don’t place the blame at my feet. Go after her. Now!” Mom pointed to the exit.
I threw my napkin down on the table and went to seek out Kat, who disappeared around the corner of the restaurant.
She was sitting on a stone bench opposite The Coop, Harvard’s bookstore. Her hands covered her face, and her chest heaved slightly from crying. I sat down heavily beside Kat, wrapping my arms around her. She didn’t fight me, thankfully.
“My mom’s right. I can be a jackass.”
Kat sniffled but didn’t speak.
“I’m afraid I’m not scoring any points with you today, am I?”
She shook her head. Clutching the front of my shirt with one hand, she wiped her nose on my shoulder.
“I just don’t know what’s going on and that scares me,” I whispered.
“Why were you with Sam all day?”
So it was about Samantha. Or was she deflecting? Damn, it was so hard to tell with her.
I inhaled. “Kat, you have nothing to worry about. Samantha needed a friend today. Just a friend. I would say more, but I promised I wouldn’t. Look me in the eye”—I lifted her chin—“you need to trust me on this one. Please.”
Kat nodded meekly but unconvincingly. Then, out of the blue, she said, “When I’m ready, I’ll tell you why I went tonight. I need to work—to figure some stuff out.”
“Can you at least tell me if I need to worry?” I pleaded.
“Not about us. You are a jackass, but you’re my jackass.” There was a hint of a twinkle in her eye, and I kissed her. I meant for it to be a reassuring kiss, but Kat had another idea in mind. Reaching around the back of my head, she pulled me in passionately and slid her tongue into my mouth. Her hands tugged me to her with frenzied desire. Despite not wanting to stop, I knew we had to, especially when catcalls floated from across the alley.
A voice more powerful than a cold shower said, “Get a room you two.” My mother approached, carrying a takeout bag.
“Perfect timing,” I said, mortified.
“I should have waited a few more seconds and seen how far you’d let it go.”
I glowered at her, but she waved my disgust away. “I had them pack up your second dinner. I figured I should take you two home, so you could talk, but it looks like you might want to do the tango instead—the naked tango. Make-up sex is healthy for a relationship. God knows I try to piss off Dale as much as possible for the payoff.”
“Mother!”
“Don’t act indignant with me. I’m not the one putting on a sex show in the middle of Harvard Square.” She mussed with her hair and checked her makeup in a shop window. “Are you two ready to go?”
As soon as Mom had dropped us off and we entered our front door, Kat grabbed me and forced me up against the door, dropping her water from crazy Kay. Her kiss was passionate, purposeful. I won’t lie: it was fucking hot.
Her tongue explored my mouth, as if searching for something but never quite finding it. Usually, Kat wasn’t into kissing that much, which was one of my laments. Tonight, however, she was all about it. I felt a tingling, warm sensation down below. Yet I wasn’t in a rush. Sometimes, the simple act of kissing is more erotic than fucking.
Without stopping, Kat maneuvered us to the couch. The nights were getting chillier, and I noticed she was shivering. Stopping briefly, I located the fireplace remote and turned it on. When Mom had insisted we install it, I thought it was a waste of money; now I saw its benefit.
Kat brushed a few strands of hair off my face and stared deeply into my eyes. She didn’t speak, but I sensed she wanted to.
“What, honey?”
“What, you?” She laughed and kissed me again. I didn�
��t push her to speak. There was time for that later.
Unbuttoning my shirt, Kat continued kissing tenderly further and further down my chest. Her fingertips explored my skin, sending currents of desire coursing through me with each touch. A smile crossed her face, and then she said, “You know I love you, right?”
“Of course. And I love you.” Her manner left me uneasy; that is, until she leaned down and removed my jeans completely.
Artificial firelight warmed the room, and Kat placed a blanket down in front of the fireplace. I wanted to feel her skin against mine, and seeing the flames reflecting in her eyes excited me all the more. I frantically grabbed her and stripped her naked, too.
“How come we don’t make love in front of the fireplace more?” she asked. “You obviously like it.” She ran her finger over my clit. “Yes, you really like it.” She licked her finger.
I pulled her closer, kissing her again while rolling her onto her back. I wanted her immediately. Her body arched when I slipped a finger inside her, my tongue still exploring hers as we kissed. Slowly, I eased my finger in and out, keeping Kat in the moment but preventing her from climaxing. We had all night. I wanted to savor each and every moment.
Kat must have sensed my thoughts. She stopped me and reached for the stereo remote. Jazz filtered through the speakers.
I tilted my head to listen. “Is this a new CD?”
“Yeah, Ella Fitzgerald.”
“I like it.”
“How much?” she asked in a teasing voice.
“Let me show you.”
I ran my hands over her body, then took one of her nipples in my mouth and bit it gently. Its sudden hardness inspired a surge of my own wetness down below.
Kat raised her hip against my crotch. “I love how wet I make you,” she whispered breathily.
“Only you have ever made me feel this alive.”
She pulled my head up to hers and gazed at me with such fervor that I felt somewhat stunned. “Tell me you’ll never stop loving me, no matter what.” Her voice was firm, desperate even.
“Never, Kat. I never want to be with another person.”
Ella’s song, “If You Should Ever Leave” started to play. I stroked Kat’s cheek. “I love you, and only you.”
Confessions From A Coffee Shop Page 14
