David was watching me with worried eyes, but Tabitha just looked interested. As if this whole thing was an amusing story—that my reaction was overboard and insane. The derision in her gaze amplified that feeling of helplessness and I gasped loudly for air.
“Cathy?” David covered my shoulders with his hands.
“I can’t. I can’t do that.” I tried to take a shallow breath and then another. I meant paying off the vultures. “It’s us. Us. Our moment and they’re going to publish the photos in trashy magazines like they’re porn.” I couldn’t get enough air and I was starting to feel light-headed. “I can’t pay them off. I know this. I know it. I can’t but they’ll—”
“Take a deep breath.” His eyes focused on mine and didn’t flinch away when a tear ran down my cheek.
“I can’t. I can’t breathe.” I sniffed and covered my face with my hands. My breath rattled in my chest. The only thing I could think, the only words I could say, were I can’t.
“Take us back to D’Lynsal.” David looked at Tabitha.
“She’s supposed to be at the auction.” Tabitha shook her head. “And Yvette is expecting her.” She picked up a wineglass. “Here, drink this.”
I shook my head violently and for a brief moment thought that I was going to be sick all over David. The feeling of being trapped, suffocated was almost overwhelming. Like I was drowning, but there was no water, no way to pull me out.
“It’s going to be fine, Cathy. Do you hear me?” David squeezed my shoulders. “I’m right here with you. We’re in this together. Do you understand?”
I shook my head no. I didn’t feel like anyone was with me. I was alone in a way I’d never been alone before—singled out in the media for the sole intent of being embarrassed; for someone’s perverted gratification. The only thing I knew was that there was no way I could walk out on that red carpet and face those vultures.
“I can’t.” The tears were running down my face, and the embarrassment that came with them only made it worse.
“Cathy, you’re having a panic attack.” He lifted my chin so I could see his face. “My sister has them—has since she was a little girl. You’re going to be okay.”
That made sense, but it didn’t help. Knowing what was happening didn’t stop it from happening. It just made me feel worse that I couldn’t control it.
“Maybe I have a Xanax.” Tabitha started looking through her purse. “You’ll be fine and ready in no time. Fashionably late.”
“No!” I shouted the word. The last thing I wanted was a pill that had been floating around in Tabitha’s bag. If the doctor had prescribed it for me, then that would be a different matter, but I wasn’t taking medicine that wasn’t mine. David let go of me. I thought I had scared him, but instead he rolled down the window between the back and the driver.
“We need to go back to D’Lynsal. The princess isn’t feeling well. Hurry, please.”
Mark looked back through the window at me and frowned. “Princess, are you hurt? Can I help?”
I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. Each time I opened my mouth the crying became worse. It was pictures—just pictures—and yet I felt as if my life was over. How had Alex handled the pictures sold of him having sex? He was so much stronger than I.
“This is a nightmare.” Tabitha started typing on her phone and I had to fight the impulse to take it from her and throw it out the window. She didn’t know what a nightmare was and if she thought I was being a diva now, she had no idea what I could do.
“Tabitha.” David’s voice shook with anger and I was glad it wasn’t directed at me. “I haven’t been around royalty long, but from what I know, your job is to take care of Cathy. And right now, your priorities are fucked up.”
“I am taking care of Cathy.” She frowned. “This could hurt her image. And the pictures aren’t that bad. In fact, it will make her even more interesting. People will love that she’s dating Sam’s best friend. It will show she’s just as desirable as her brothers.”
“You can worry about the PR later.” He glared at her, but his fury was so intense I could barely keep from shaking uncontrollably just being near it. “Right now, you need to be thinking about helping her calm down.”
“Please.” I whispered the word, ashamed of needing help. I was the person who took care of everything, who planned events and rolled with the media. I wasn’t the person who had breakdowns and hysterics. I took another breath and wiped at my face. “Please tell them I came down with something. I’ll make it up to them later.”
“No you won’t.” David turned me back to look at him. “The only thing you’re going to do is relax and not worry about this. They don’t deserve to have you do anything nice for them.” His eyes cut to Tabitha. “You tell them she’s sick and leave it at that.”
“I don’t take my orders from you,” she said. Her eyes narrowed.
“I will see to it that you don’t take any orders from anyone at all if you don’t put Cathy first,” David growled. “If you think Sam and Alex are going to let you keep your position when you’re endangering the princess’s health, you’re very confused.”
She shut her mouth with a loud snap. While I watched, she took the wineglass she had originally offered me and took a long drink. The limo used one of the local roundabouts to take us back in the direction of D’Lynsal. The closer we came to the house, the more Tabitha drank, and the easier I could breathe. As long as she was being quiet I could put up with the nasty looks she kept shooting my way. I wasn’t better but D’Lynsal was my safe haven. The one place I didn’t have to pretend—didn’t have to feel threatened by people out to get something from me.
When we arrived, Tabitha exited the car before the bodyguard or the driver could get out. She didn’t stop at the door either, just disappeared inside.
I dabbed at my eyes, trying to school myself into a semblance of normalcy before climbing out of the limo. David moved closer and cupped my face in his hands. Using his thumbs he brushed the tears off and leaned forward until our foreheads touched.
“You are not alone. I’m right here with you and am not going anywhere. Do you believe me?” He waited for a response, needed an answer, so I nodded my head. “This feels like a huge thing because of what happened to Alex. It’s intrusive and thoughtless for someone to take the pictures, much less publish them. But it’s a kiss. A kiss I would gladly give to you in front of a million people if you asked for it. Do you understand? I don’t care if people know that I’ve kissed you, that I’m with you as whatever you want to call me. The only thing I care about is you. And right now, I’m worried about you.”
I opened my eyes to look at him. Honesty rang through his words and sincerity shone through his eyes. Reaching up, I touched his jaw with my fingers.
“You’re right.” My fingers danced along the stubble. “It was a kiss and I would have wanted your kiss no matter what.”
“What happened to Alex is not going to happen to you,” he whispered the words. “Whoever you choose will not do that to you. Your trust is too important to risk losing.”
“I’ve already chosen.” I whispered the words quietly, aware that there were people outside waiting for me. “I chose the night I saw you at Sam’s, I just didn’t realize it. You’re the first man I’ve wanted that way.”
“Then when it happens, you will have nothing to worry about.” His lips touched mine softly, and I melted into his arms before burrowing my face in his chest.
“I’m so sorry that I’ve exposed you to this type of thing. If you had been with any other woman, no one would have taken your pictures.” Guilt filled my heart and I could feel the panic spiking again.
“I told you, I don’t care. I would have rather that moment stayed between us, but I plan on making a lot of memories that no one else will have their hands—or eyes—on.”
“That would be nice.” My mouth twitched slightly into a small smile.
“Let’s go in and do something silly or boring.” He let go of
my face and coaxed me out. “A board game or maybe a television marathon. How do you feel about infomercials?”
“Infomercials? Where they try to sell you things.” I shook my head.
“Those are the ones. Great for putting a person to sleep.”
“Your Highness, are you well?” Mark stepped forward, his eyes running over my body in a quick check. “Should I call for a doctor or one of the nurses?”
“I’m just feeling under the weather. I’ll be fine.” I nodded my head and didn’t bother to force a smile. It would be wasted on him anyways. He had known me for so long that he could tell when I was being sincere.
“If you have need of me, please let me know.” He nodded his head in a quick bow before walking ahead of us to open the door of the house.
“Thank you.” I nodded my head to him while David and I walked past.
“Where’s the kitchen? Why don’t I make us a snack?” David leaned down to whisper in my ear.
“The cook should still be up, you could ask her.” I stepped out of my shoes and bent over to pick them up. “I’d love a hot cup of tea.”
“Okay, I’ll go see what I can do.” David led me over to the armchair closest to the fireplace. “Have a seat and I’ll be back.”
I curled up in the chair and propped my chin in one hand. It felt odd to be taken care of, but I was so tired and worn out from the panic attack I didn’t have the energy to argue. I could feel that anxiety dancing just on the edge of my consciousness, waiting for me to fall into its dark pit of fear. Instead I watched the flames of the small fire dance across the logs and let my mind blank. Any time my brain started to even touch upon the idea of pictures . . . No, I couldn’t go there. I just focused on the flames.
“Well, I found a cook and a maid.” David walked back into the room with a cup of hot tea on a saucer. “And Jeanine, the maid, said she would bring us some board games.”
“Thank you.” I took the cup from him.
“Oh, I didn’t make it. The cook wouldn’t let me even open a cabinet.” He cleared a spot on the table in the center of the sitting area when Jeanine brought out several boxes and a pack of cards. “What will it be? Monopoly?”
“No!” I laughed at his surprised face. “Alex has ruined Monopoly for me. Take my advice and never play with him.”
“Good to know.” He looked at the other boxes. “It looks like the rest all require more players, so how about a card game?”
“That sounds good.” I set my cup down. “How about Go Fish?”
“Go Fish?” David blinked in surprise. “If that’s what you really want to play—”
I burst out laughing. “I’m joking. I can’t believe you fell for that.”
“That’s it. Your choice has been revoked.” He shuffled the cards before starting to deal them out. “Crazy Eights. Do you know how to play?”
“I do.” I slid out of my chair so that I was sitting on the floor next to the table. “Are you any good?”
“It’s a game of luck. I’m as good as anyone else.” He shrugged out of his jacket and undid his tie before joining me on the floor.
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.” I raised an eyebrow in challenge. If there was anything I had picked up from my brothers, it was their competitiveness. My nerves were still shot, but just being next to David seemed to help. He had a way of making everything important seem unimportant. He put things into perspective, and right now, Crazy Eights was much more important than anything lying photographers could make up.
Though there was one thing that bothered me and I couldn’t shake it. Where had the photos come from and just how bad were they? And why? Why had someone taken pictures of such an intimate moment? It had to be for the money they got when they sold the photographs to the magazines.
After I beat David three times in a row, he conceded defeat and packed up the cards. Sitting on the couch, he patted the spot next to him and I took the seat. With a comfortable ease, he tucked me against him.
“I loved hearing your laugh.”
“I loved seeing you lose.” I giggled when he mock-groaned.
“I just wanted you to be happy.” He smiled at me.
“Riiiight.” I shook my head, but scooted close against him. “Whatever you have to tell yourself.”
“That’s how it’s going to be, huh?” In a swift movement he had lain back on the sofa and shifted me so that I lay on his chest.
My ear rested just above his heart and I closed my eyes to listen. There was something soothing in the rhythm combined with his steady breaths. The fire crackled and popped as it slowly faded from existence and I found it hard to keep my eyes open.
“Will you stay?” I tucked one of my hands under my cheek. I felt safe in his arms, and even if those photos made an appearance in the morning, it wouldn’t feel so bad with him here to keep me calm.
“Yes.” His answer was quick. “Go to sleep.”
“Are you comfortable?” The words came out in a mumble.
“I’m fine.” His arm tightened around my waist.
“Thank you.” For holding me. For keeping me calm. For staying.
“You’re welcome.” He dipped down to kiss my head.
NINETEEN
“WHY DIDN’T YOU tell me?” Selene stood on the stairs, her voice angry. The younger nurse stood beside her with big eyes.
“What?” I rubbed my eyes, confused. Was I at the palace?
“The pictures. You could have let me know. I have people sending me e-mails left and right.” She was using a cane, but the expression on her face was fierce.
“I didn’t want to upset you.” Fat lot of good that had done for me. I was tucked next to David on the couch, his arm still over my waist. I sat up and let his arm fall to the side. “Who let you have a computer?”
“I got out of bed and took it. I’m not asking for permission anymore.”
“Why are you up? I can deal with this.” But the truth was that I could taste vomit in the back of my mouth. The pictures were out and people were seeing me with David in a very private moment.
“Because I know.” She shook her head sadly. “I know what you’re feeling right now.” Taking the steps slowly, she made her way down to me.
The nurse was helping her, but I hopped up to assist her myself. “You’re going to kill yourself.”
“Sitting in that bed, stressing over not knowing what is going on, will kill me faster.” Selene grabbed my arm and looked into my eyes. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I don’t know what to do.” Tears prickled at the backs of my eyes. “What do I say?”
“Nothing right this minute.” She cupped my cheek and I was reminded of when I was a child. “We think about it and handle it with a clear head.”
I led her to a seat across from where David was sitting on the couch. “Sit here and I’ll get you some tea.”
“I’ll get it, ma’am.” The young nurse disappeared.
“She’s probably going to slip drugs into it.” Selene frowned. “Good morning, David.”
“Good morning, Selene.” David smiled at her, his hair sticking out in different directions. “I’m sorry you woke up to this.”
“This is my job. To make sure Cathy doesn’t panic or make the wrong move.” She shook her head. “Where is Tabitha?”
“Are you not taking your medicine?” I glared at her. “Why do you think they are drugging you?”
“Because they’re tired of me complaining.” She waved her hand. “They probably aren’t, but I bet they wish they could. Now, where is Tabitha?”
“I don’t know. She disappeared last night.” I shrugged. At the time it had been a relief. Of course she did drink an entire bottle of wine in the car, so it was likely that she was still snoring in her bed. “Maybe in her room.”
“We need to talk about the photos.” Selene said the words quietly. “Have you seen them?”
I shook my head, my stomach rolling. I remembered the kiss, the intense need, the way he ha
d cupped my ass. I didn’t want to see that splattered in a tabloid.
“They aren’t that bad.” Selene leaned back in her chair. “They’re actually sweet. David, can you pull them up on your phone?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He fiddled in his pocket until the phone was free, and he pressed buttons until he had pulled up the file. He looked at the pictures for a minute, but I refused to look down. Instead I watched his face as he decided what he thought. “They aren’t bad. Just personal.”
“No, and what I’m most worried about is where the photos came from.” Selene said the words calmly, but it sent my heart racing.
“What do you mean?”
“Those are cell phone pictures. Who else was staying on the floor with you?” She frowned. “I don’t remember much from the hospital, but I know that you would have been in a penthouse. Were there other rooms on the floor?”
“I don’t think so.” I shook my head.
“No, that’s not right. There was a door on the opposite side of the hallway from yours.” David narrowed his eyes.
“I thought that was a janitorial closet.”
“It would have been large enough for someone to hide in.” He looked around the room angrily as if he could spot the perpetrator walking through my living room.
“Who would have done that? The staff? How long did they hide in that closet? Just for the chance of a photo?” My mouth worked for a minute as I watched Selene’s serious face. “Who has time for that?”
“Someone that could make large sums from selling the pictures.”
“A hotel employee?” I shook my head. “Can we call the hotel and figure out who it was?”
“I’ll have someone look into it.” Selene took a sip of her tea.
“Not Tabitha.” David’s voice brooked no argument.
“Okay.” Selene watched him carefully. She wasn’t used to taking orders from people other than the royal family. “Why?”
“She tried to insist Cathy go to the auction last night after she dropped the bomb about the pictures in the car.” His voice was a growl. “Cathy had a panic attack.”
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