by Kelli Walker
“It wasn’t a one-time thing. It wasn’t a, ‘whoops, I got drunk and my dick slipped’ thing. It was on-going. Progressive. And you went back. Or, you didn’t stop when you told me you did. Either way, it was worth lying to me about. And you say she didn’t mean anything?” I asked.
“This is why we need to talk face-to-face, Callie. You have questions, and so do I.”
“Goodbye, Matthew. For good. I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to see you, and I don’t want you back.”
“Callie, wait--!”
I hung up the phone and tossed it onto the glass table. The sun had fully sunken beyond the trees and the stars twinkled above my head. It should have been a beautiful experience, but deep down I ached. I felt my heart crumbling into a million pieces on the concrete floor beneath my feet. I closed my eyes and willed my tears to stay at bay. I would shed no more tears for that pathetic excuse of a man. But deep down, I was worried. Matthew had been persistent in calling. Texting. And now that I had picked up the phone to him, I knew the psychological treat that gave men like him. It taught him that if he could be persistent enough, he’d get my attention. Even if it was an accident on my part not to check my caller I.D.
I was scared he’d come by the house to try and see me. Because I knew that if he showed up while my father and Colton were here, he’d never make it out alive.
Colton - Two Weeks Later
I sat in the spare office in my brother’s home hunched over more paperwork. We decided to go with the more expensive building in Switzerland for our headquarters that required the least amount of renovation. The views were stunning, not to mention we had built quite a reputation for our real estate acquisitions in the country. Switzerland had been the first place I attacked when we launched our international brand, so to stick our headquarters there and bring jobs to the country made it feel like we were giving back to a country that had opened its arms to us. I was excited to get the documents signed and notarized so we could finalize the purchase.
But I needed more coffee to keep trudging forward.
I slipped out of the office and went to make myself a cup, then I started wandering around the house. Things had been eerily quiet between Clay and Callie since the proposal interview. Outside of the initial explosion and me declaring I’d come stay with them, nothing else had happened. At least, nothing I was aware of.
I walked into the library and found Callie curled up in a chair with her nose in a book. I leaned against the doorway, studying her while she read. Her knees curled into her chest and her hair thrown up in a messy bun on top of her head. Her beautiful eyes moving a thousand miles a second across the lines of the pages. She was entranced by whatever story it was, and judging by the cover it was some sort of sci-fi fantasy novel. I watched her chew on her lower lip. I watched her eyes grow wider. Her toes began to curl into the cushion of her seat and her grip grew tighter on the cover of the book.
Out of all the moments I’d ever witnessed Callie in, my favorites where when she was reading. How she got into the characters and lost herself between the pages of her books. It was the most vulnerable I’d ever seen her, and I adored every second of it. The way she panted when things got stressful. The way her cheeks flushed when things got heated. The way her lips moved with the words of the page when she was trying to speed through to the end.
I was entranced by her.
The sound of vibrations hit my ears and I watched her jump. It ripped her from her trance and her book went plummeting into her lap. She looked down at her phone before her eyes whipped over to me, and she seemed shocked to see me standing there.
“Hello,” I said.
She wrinkled her nose before muting the phone call she had coming in.
“Don’t ignore it on my account,” I said as I sipped my coffee.
“I’m not. It’s not an important call,” she said.
I chuckled as I took a step into the room.
“Who called?” I asked.
“Do you make it a habit of standing in doorways and watching people read?”
“Maybe,” I said, grinning.
But I did notice that she didn’t answer my question.
“What are you reading?” I asked.
“Ender’s Game.”
“Is it good?”
“Oh, yes. I’ve read it four times already.”
“Sounds like a hell of a book, then, to capture your attention like that,” I said.
“You should read it if you have time. It’s worth the ride.”
“Then maybe I’ll take you up on that offer.”
“You can borrow it once I’m done,” she said.
She smiled at me and it tugged me closer to her. Our eyes connected, and I wanted to reach out and brush the wispy strands of hair away from her forehead. I gravitated towards her before rerouting my course. Instead of sitting next to her on the very small couch she had acquired for herself, I sat down in the chair next to it. Enough distance to where I couldn't touch her, but close enough to feel as if I could be a part of her world again.
Then, that look crossed her face. The look of worry I’d become so adept at reading in her features.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked.
“You’re not going to like it,” she asid.
“Try me. You know I’m here if you ever want someone to talk at.”
She sighed before her eyes fell to the wall in front of her as she unfurled her legs.
“Would it really be so bad if I sat and talked with Matthew?” she asked.
I felt my body stiffen as I clutched my mug of coffee tight. Was that asshole still calling her? Still harassing her? Had he said something to her? Threatened her with something I didn’t know about?
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean, just talk. You know, sit down face-to-face like he wants and tell him face-to-face, calmly and collected, that it’s over.”
“It depends,” I said.
“On what?”
“On whether you can stand your ground with him while you’re face-to-face.”
“What does that mean?”
I watched an unreadable expression come over her face before fire ignited behind her eyes.
Shit. I’d pissed her off.
“Whether or not you want to admit it, your heart is on the line right now. Your emotions are out in the open, and it’s easy for a man like Matthew to manipulate that if he thinks the cards lay in his favor even for a second,” I said.
“Do you think I’m an easily-manipulated person?”
“No. But everyone can be when emotions are running high.”
“I can stay strong, Colt. I’ve always been strong.”
“I never said you weren’t strong. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. I don’t want you getting yourself into a situation where you begin to make excuses for his behavior.”
“I’ve never made excuses for him,” she said.
I knew I had offended her, but I didn’t care. Everyone makes excuses at some point in time for people they love. And the truth of the matter was that Matthew and her had been together for years. I was concerned she’d throw her choice out the window because of the little mind game he was playing with her. I was scared she’d take him back, and I didn’t know if I could handle that happening. I didn’t know if I could handle going to bed at night after having her and knowing another man’s hands were on her body.
Call me selfish, but the thought made me sick.
“Despite the weakling you apparently think I am, Colt, I’m capable of having adult discussions without my mind being poked and prodded at.”
“Callie, I never said--.”
“You said it perfectly. You think I’m capable of playing mind games with myself when it comes to purchasing property for my practice, but you don’t think I can defend myself against a mind game when it comes from some pathetic boy?” she asked.
“I know you’re upset with me--.”
“Upset?
I’m not upset, Colton. I’m hurt. Offended. I’m a psychology major, for fuck’s sake. I know when I’m being manipulated. I know when my leash is being tugged on. And I know how to manipulate back. I’m good at it. I know how to address Matthew in this current circumstance, and I thought you would have known that about me.”
I watched her shoot up to her feet as her book tumbled to the floor. Current circumstance? What the hell was she talking about.
“Thanks for the support,” she murmured.
“Callie, who was it that called you earlier?” I asked.
“What?”
“When your phone vibrated. Who was--?”
But the ringing of the doorbell interrupted my train of thought. I watched Callie pick up her cell phone and her book before making her way to the front door. I stood to my feet, abandoning my coffee in the library as I followed after her. She padded her way across the foyer as I stood in the doorway of the library, watching as her hand fell to the doorknob.
“Are you expecting someone?” I asked.
But instead of answering me, she merely swung the front door open and rolled her shoulders back. And the voice that filled the foyer sent my blood boiling in my veins.
“Can I come in?” Matthew asked.
Him.
That little piece of shit.
Matthew was the guest at the fucking front door.
Callie
I didn’t know what to think about my conversation with Colton, but it wasn’t what I expected. I didn’t expect him to be necessarily happy about it, but I also didn’t expect him to outright call me weak. But, it didn’t matter. I couldn’t focus on that any longer. I knew exactly who was behind the front door, and I had to get my mind into gear for it. I had to admit, it shocked me when Colton made the decision to stick around and work from home for the day. It made me nervous, honestly. It was why I decided to take the opening and ask him how he felt about it. But after his rebuttal, I no longer cared about how he felt regarding the topic.
Until I opened the front door.
“Can I come in?” Matthew asked.
The second his voice hit my ears, I knew Colton was right. I gazed up into Matthew’s brown eyes I’d sought comfort in for so many years and felt myself cave a little to his presence. I stood in front of the man I’d loved for years. A man who ushered me into adulthood and wrapped me up in his arms at night. A man that whisked me away to exotic locales and made me feel special despite the disputes we had on a regular basis. I felt the body heat of the man I’d made love to for years. The man who took my virginity. The man who kissed my body at all hours of the night.
I gazed into the eyes of the man that broke my heart and suddenly understood what Colton had been talking about.
This was a terrible decision.
“I thought I told you not to come around here?”
“I go anywhere when I’m invited by a beautiful woman to attend,” Matthew said.
I felt Colton appear behind me, standing strong as he gazed over my shoulder. I felt his presence, tense and defensive. I looked over my shoulder at him and up into a jawline that was pulled taut with anger and frustration.
And Matthew simply smiled at him.
“We can talk on the porch,” I said.
“Callie.”
Colton’s stern voice caught my ear and I drew in a deep breath.
“We’ll talk outside. Alone,” I said.
I peeled my gaze away from Colton and stepped out onto the porch. I could tell Matthew wasn’t happy about being let in, but I didn’t care. If I let him into this house, there was no guarantee he wouldn’t leave without a black eye. And the last thing I needed was to give Matthew more ammunition for the press. I closed the front door behind me, shutting Colton inside and leaving us alone outside on the front porch.
Then, I ushered us over to a couple of chairs and braced myself for the impending conversation.
“You look good,” he said.
He tried to reach out and take my hand, but I leaned back in the chair and crossed my leg over my knee.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Do you want me to begin?”
“If you’d like.”
“I miss you, Callie.”
“I miss you too, Matthew.”
“I made a massive mistake. And yes, I made it several times, but it doesn’t make it any less of a mistake.”
“I’m glad you are able to admit that,” I said.
“I want us back.”
“You do?”
“I really do, Callie. All I can think about when I lay down at night is you.”
“Is that what you thought about when you were lying next to her?”
I watched him clench his jaw as I drew in a deep breath.
“I’m ready to go to counseling with you,” he said.
My brow ticked in confusion as my eyes dropped down his body to read him. He was relaxed. Poised. Tense, but rightfully so. He gave no indication of deception. But then again, he never had.
At least, I never registered it.
How could I have been so blind?
“We do have issues to work through, Callie. You were right in that regard. I wasn’t willing to see it before, but I do see it now.”
“What issues?” I asked.
“You know, the issues you always said we had. We do have them.”
“Then tell me what they are.”
“You know. Just, the growing distant. And the uh, you know, making sure our paths line up and everything. Figuring out what our future might hold. Things like that.”
“We can talk about that kind of stuff right now. We don’t need a therapist to mediate that stuff,” I said.
“You said we did.”
“I said we needed a therapist to help us work through the frustrations of those conversations. Not the actual conversations themselves.”
“Same difference, Cal,” he said, chuckling.
“Not really,” I said flatly.
“Okay, then let’s talk about them,” he said as he clasped his hands.
“Where do you see your life heading, Matthew?”
“Travel. I want to travel, Callie. And I want to do it with you. I want to take in the sights nd the wonders of the world. I want to take over my grandfather’s business one day when it’s my turn and completely redo everything.”
“What would you change?” I asked.
“I want to move their headquarters, for starters. It doesn’t make sense for it to be in Los Angeles. Hawaii is more the company’s speed. And I want a secondary headquarters in France. On the outskirts of Paris.”
“That sounds nice.”
“I want all of that with you at my side, Callie.”
“And that’s fine. What else do you want out of life? What about your home life?”
“You know this,” he said.
“Then say it again. Breathe it into the air between us.”
I cleared his throat and sat back into his chair as his legs spread wide. He was posturing. Like he was setting up for a fight. And I didn’t understand why this conversation needed such a powerful stance from him.
“I want a house full of children. Kids I can love and support. I want them to run to you for love and care and I want them to pile in our bed in the morning. I want to watch you play with them and hold your hand while we create a family. I want to fill our home with children that have my eyes and your lips. I want to experience a true family with you, Callie. I always have.”
“Well, I want to open up my own psychology practice in Los Angeles,” I said.
“That’s fine. You could open one up in Hawaii and France for all I cared.”
“No, Matthew. You’re not listening. I want to open up a practice right here, in my hometown. In Los Angeles.”
“And that's fine. We could get you set up somewhere and you could open up an installation here or something.”
“And again, you’re refusing to listen. I want to be in Los Angeles running my own practice.
A clinical practice geared towards helping children and adults cope with tragic losses like the one I experienced with the death of my mother.”
“Callie, this kind of stuff can be negotiated later,” he said.
“No, it can’t. Because just as you have your hard wants and requirements for your life, I have mine. See, this is one of your issues. You think that because you have the money, that I’ll simply tailor my future to suit the one you already have rolling through your head. And that isn’t how this works.”
“Well, you never wanted to open your own practice before. How am I supposed to make sudden contingencies on plans that seemingly come out of thin air?”
I scoffed and shook my head as my eyes fell closed.
“When the two of us were discussing pursuing my Master’s Degree, the sole reason for it was for me to open my own practice,” I said.
“I mean, eventually. I figured after we had a family and the kids grew up a bit, sure. You could open up a small place wherever we had settled,” he said.
“No. I specifically told you I wanted that practice here in Los Angeles. Where my family is.”
“I don’t remember that part of the conversation.”
“Well, just because you don’t remember it doesn’t mean it didn’t take place, Matthew.”
I watched Matthew chew on the inside of his cheek as I opened my eyes and found his again.
“So, setting that aside, let’s address the first major issue,” I said.
“Great. I’m all ears.”
“I don’t know if I want children. But I do know that I don’t want a house full of children.”
“What?” he asked.
“Yeah. That’s right. I never knew you wanted children up until this point. It wasn’t something we had ever discussed. And now, all of a sudden, you want a house full of kids, and I don’t.”
“You don’t want children at all?”
“Maybe if I find the right person one day. But no, I don’t want to raise more than one child.”
“Well, we can work around that. There are nannies and governesses for that type of thing.”
“It’s just simply about raising them, Matthew. It’s about giving birth. Those children will still come from me. I will still be emotionally bound to them. I don’t want to put my body through that. I don’t want to put my mind through that.”
