by Ruby Moone
“My condolences.” Bryce stuck out his hand. Reluctantly, Daniel shook it. It was damp.
“Thank you.”
“I did a lot of business with your father. We should talk.” Bryce gave Daly a cold look, but the lawyer only smiled graciously.
“Make an appointment with my PA.”
“I will. You’ve caused me a lot of grief lately. I think we’d do better to work with each other rather than against each other.”
“Really.”
Bryce bristled visibly at Daniel’s tone, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The man was a lowlife. And bearing in mind Daly’s comments, a lowlife with a limited lifespan.
Bryce nodded and looked from Daniel to Daly. “I’ll be in touch.”
“Geoff.” Daniel put his glass on the bar. There wasn’t anything to be gained from dragging this out. “I think we concluded our business a couple of months ago.”
“You think that was a conclusion? You still owe me for Travis Baker.”
Daniel shook his head. “I don’t owe you anything, and you don’t owe me anything. Let’s leave it at that.”
Bryce smiled. “Like I say. I’ll be in touch.”
He walked away, and Daniel glanced at Eric Daly. “Maybe we should meet sooner rather than later?”
Daly nodded as a sea of cousins, aunts, and uncles descended on Daniel. All offering condolences, some of them weeping, all of them desperate to know what would happen next and who would be taking over from Kenneth. He didn’t imagine for a second any of it was sincere. He responded as best he could. He didn’t do people at the best of times, and this was definitely not the best. As he did his utmost to fend them off without causing actual offence, Daly slipped away with a knowing smile and a wave.
He managed to break free and headed for a quieter spot in the room. As he did so, he spotted his Uncle Kevin and Aunty Janet. They were probably the only two people in the room he gave a shit about. He smiled as they made their way over. Kevin shook his hand and his aunt hugged him. He hugged her back and appreciated the contact. She always wore the same perfume. He had no idea what it was, but it always reminded him of her and of his mother. She kissed one cheek and patted the other.
“You okay, lovey?”
“Not bad.”
She shook her head. “You’re well rid of him. Nasty bastard.”
Daniel smiled. Janet was his mother’s cousin, but he’d always called her and Kevin aunty and uncle. They were closer to him than anyone on his father’s side and his mother was an only child. Like him. Janet hated Kenneth with a passion because she’d seen what he’d done to him and his mother over the years.
She eyeballed the glass in his hand. “I hope that’s lemonade, young man.”
His smile broke free again. He lifted it. “Tonic water. Here, taste it if you don’t believe me.” He held out the glass.
She rolled her eyes and laughed. “I believe you, sweetheart.”
Kevin looked stoically fond. “She gets worse. I swear.”
“He needs someone to look out for him. Have you found a young man yet?” She looked up at him.
“Not yet. I’ll keep looking.” As always, their unwavering, happy acceptance of his sexuality warmed him.
“You need someone to go home to,” she said, frowning. “Someone to care for.” She had a calculating look in her eye that Daniel knew to pay attention to.
He nodded. “Easier said than done. There’s only you and Uncle Kevin who like me.” It was nice to hear someone call him sweetheart. “You’ll have to come round for dinner and keep me company.”
“I’ll hold you to that. What have you got on next week?”
Before he knew where he was, he had a dinner date a few days hence. He didn’t mind, not really. More relatives descended, and as Janet fended them off, he slipped away, taking a sip of his drink as he meandered through the room. It was a huge space, with floor to ceiling glass all down one side giving a panoramic view of the golf course. As he looked, in that contrary twist typical of a British summertime, the rain stopped, and the clouds parted. He watched as the room flooded with warmth and sunlight and the grass outside glowed damply green and, as he turned back into the room, he spotted Christian talking to someone.
The sunlight fell on him, casting him in a golden glow. His fair hair shone, the neatly manicured, sandy scruff on his chin looked as warm and soft as Daniel knew it felt. His hands moved as he talked. He had elegant hands. Long, slender fingers and bony wrists. He was the epitome of a young, successful businessman bursting with energy, charisma, and charm and was outrageously handsome with it. His suit was expensive. The same one that only recently had been crumpled on the floor.
Daniel swallowed and allowed himself one last look, but in that curious way people often have when being observed, Christian looked across the room, straight at him. It was as though they were connected by some invisible thread. His smile was hesitant, almost shy, but Daniel couldn’t smile back.
He had no idea why Christian had allowed him into his bedroom, no idea if he’d forgiven him, no idea why he would. But he couldn’t pursue anything more with him. Simply couldn’t. It had to stay in the past because he needed to get his shit together, needed to deal with the fallout of Kenneth’s death, needed to keep himself on an even keel. He couldn’t afford to get caught up in the past, and Christian definitely belonged in the past. Where it was safe.
As painful as it was, continuing any sort of connection would inevitably lead to questions he couldn’t answer. He felt dead inside at the thought of not seeing him again, but it was the only thing he could do. Clear up as much of Kenneth’s mess as he could, pass on things where they needed passing on, eradicate the worst of the exploitation that Kenneth did so well, and then focus on his own business, his own life, and get the hell away from Manchester, the memory of his father, and, most of all, Christian. He permitted himself one last, long look because if he did allow Christian back into his life, the guilt over what he did, what he was responsible for, would eat him alive.
4
Christian walked into his office at MC Securities. Usually, it was where he was in control. On top of things. Successful. On the day after Kenneth McCafferty’s funeral, he felt anything but. He was seriously shaken. He put his laptop bag on the desk, along with the mug of coffee he’d been juggling, and hung up his suit jacket. He was setting up his laptop and loosening his tie when his business partner, Michael Cross, poked his head around the door.
“You okay?” Michael’s dark eyes were watchful. Michael was probably the only person who knew something of the extent of his connection to Daniel McCafferty.
“Not bad.” He concentrated on setting things up rather than looking at him. He wasn’t sure he had words to describe how he was feeling.
Michael came in and closed the door behind him and Christian braced himself. Michael used to be blissfully oblivious to feelings, and pretty blunt most of the time, but since he’d been in a relationship, he’d become more observant.
“How did the funeral go? How’s Daniel?”
“Fine. There were hundreds of people there. Daniel seemed to cope okay.” Or at least he seemed to, once they’d fucked away that agonisingly haunted look he’d had at the cemetery.
Michael frowned as though searching for something more to say. “Well, as long as you’re okay.”
“I am.” Christian smiled and tapped a couple of keys on the keyboard, hoping Michael might take his cue and leave.
“Only, I’ve had the impression for a while that you still care for Daniel. More than you admit.”
Christian focused on the laptop and tapped a few more keys as he swallowed.
“Used to.” He glanced up and attempted a smile. “Old habits die hard.”
Michael nodded, still frowning. “Only, Jack did wonder if you were fucking.”
Shocked, as this was blunt even by Michael’s standards, Christian flopped into his chair and winced. He moved positions as the lingering sensation in his ar
se reminded him of how thoroughly he had been fucked.
“Don’t know what gave him that idea,” he muttered, still tapping at keys randomly and staring fixedly at the screen.
“Well, when we saw you together, there was a sort of…” Michael made a vague gesture with both hands. “Chemistry.”
Christian pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah. There still is. But it’s over and done with.”
Michael nodded. “I know you were together before we started uni, and I know he hurt you badly, but you’ve never really talked about him.”
“Best that way.” He shot Michael what he hoped was a friendly smile.
Michael nodded again, frown still in place. “I’ll let you get on.” He headed for the door and Christian tried not to heave a sigh of relief.
Christian looked properly at his laptop and opened the files that he’d been working on. Work was coming in right, left and centre, but none of it made any sense. He tried to read, but his thoughts kept drifting. After deep deliberation, he’d decided to attend the funeral. Mainly because he knew what it was like to lose a father. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the chair. When his own dad had died, it had felt like the whole world had shifted. Changed. And whatever had gone on between him and Daniel in the past, and whatever was going on between them now, he’d wanted to be there for him. Somehow, it didn’t matter anymore.
Well, it did, given that Daniel had walked out on their relationship immediately after Christian’s father had died, he’d a lot to forgive. But somehow, he’d done it enough to go to him.
He closed his eyes and swallowed at the memories that battered him. Had battered him since he’d left Daniel standing alone at the wake.
Twelve years ago. Twelve years since he’d fallen in love, twelve years since his father had died, twelve years since Daniel had walked out on him. He’d needed Daniel so badly back then, but whatever had happened between them, the thought of Daniel going through that pain alone had been hard. At least he’d had his mother, but Daniel didn’t even have that. So, he’d gone.
He’d only intended to offer his condolences, maybe have a drink with him, reminisce a little with him. Whatever he’d needed. Never, ever had he imagined he’d end up taking him home and going to bed with him. Never imagined Daniel would want to. Never thought he would want to. He shifted in his seat, feeling Daniel’s presence. He knew what it was, though. It was the sheer loneliness that had clung to Daniel like a shroud as he stood by the grave of his father.
Daniel had never been able to bury his mother. She’d disappeared years ago and was still missing, although the police seemed to think that she’d been abducted and murdered by one of Kenneth’s rivals. Chilling thought. And there Daniel had been. Standing alone, in the rain, by the graveside once the vicar and the mourners had left for the shelter of their cars. Instead of walking with them, he’d approached him. For such a big, imposing man, he’d looked so lost Christian had been unable to walk away.
He’d no idea what his reaction might be, but when he’d suggested sex Christian hadn’t been surprised. Back when they’d been together his default position to stress, or overwhelming feelings, was sex. Not much of a talker then, and apparently not now. He’d always been on the outside looking in, and Christian had wanted to bring him into the warmth. He sighed. It seemed that he still did. Even after all this time. Even after what he’d done. He wasn’t sure what that said about him. Wasn’t he supposed to have more self-respect? To deserve better?
Christian shook himself. He really needed to focus on work and get on. He didn’t have time for all this maudlin shit, and anyway, it was done now. Daniel’s words rang in his ears. The debt was repaid. Christian was surprised at the pain those words had caused. Daniel had helped him with Jack’s predicament, then later on he’d helped again in getting one of his clients out of a massive mess. Daniel had talked about repaying the debt, and Christian hadn’t realised how much he’d believed that, wanted there to be something there, until it was taken away.
He scrubbed his face with his hands and pulled up the report he’d been working on, but it wasn’t long before he was staring out of the window lost in thought again. He spent the rest of the morning alternately working furiously then staring out of the window, lost in the past.
Sometime later, a sharp knock on the door made him jump. Finlay Masters stuck his head in.
“Made you a coffee.” He came in and put the mug on the desk.
Christian picked it up and put it onto a coaster. “Cheers.”
“You okay? You look a bit shit.”
Christian closed his eyes, rubbed his forehead, then laughed. “Thanks. Did Michael send you?”
Finlay grinned. “Yeah. Bit obvious?”
Christian nodded. “I appreciate the sentiment.”
Finlay closed the door and then perched on the chair in front of him, one leg jiggling. “You want to talk about it?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, not you too.”
Finlay cracked a smile. He wasn’t much of a smiler. He was his best investigator, but a few months ago he’d gone and fallen in love. He was fucking surrounded by men in love. It was painful.
“How’s Aaron?”
Finlay’s grin widened. He waggled his eyebrows. “Fucking amazing.”
Christian shook his head. “Travis?” Travis Baker was Aaron’s son. The son that Christian and Daniel had got out of a shit ton of trouble with Geoff Bryce a couple of months ago.
“He’s doing better. The stint in rehab really helped, and he’s eating more, talking more…” Finlay shrugged. “Day by day, really.”
Christian nodded and smiled. It was good news. “Did you actually want something?”
Finlay’s grin turned into something warmer. For a man who didn’t smile much, he was certainly turning it on.
“Look. I know, and Michael knows, that you went out on a limb for us. We all had problems that only Daniel McCafferty could put to bed, and we know it cost you to ask him to do it. I’ve no idea what the deal is between the two of you, and Michael is as tight lipped as ever, but if you need anything….” He shrugged. “I know you’re the boss, but…” He shrugged again. “Talking is good and technically, this is my lunch hour, so I’m here as your mate, not your employee.”
“Still not right,” Christian grumbled, but then his shoulders sagged. “What do you want to know?” Christian picked up the mug and blew across the top of the liquid before taking a mouthful
“Tell me about Daniel. What’s he like?”
What’s he like. That was a hell of a question. He sighed. “The McCaffertys are synonymous with crime in Manchester. My dad moved our family the other side of the Pennines to get away from it. We moved to Leeds when I was tiny, and he set up home where nobody had heard of the McCaffertys. I never knew Daniel growing up though our fathers are, were, cousins, and I know very little about Kenneth at all.”
Finlay nodded.
“Around here, the McCafferty family have been linked with crime since forever. Kenneth was a charming, devious bastard and he ran a massive empire.”
“Not really connected with the local drugs gangs? county lines stuff?”
Christian shook his head. “More corporate. Bigger scale.”
“Formidable reputation, though.” Finlay rubbed his chin with a finger. “How did you meet?”
Christian took a breath as he allowed himself to remember. “Daniel had just finished University in Manchester and got a degree in Finance; I’d just finished high school and was ready to start mine. I was spending some time down here with a mate, and he wondered if there was a connection between me and his friend Daniel McCafferty given we had the same surname, so he arranged for him to come and meet us.” He smiled. Lost in the memory of that sunny day when he’d first seen him and had the breath knocked out of him. Daniel had no tattoos then, no ear gauge, in fact, he looked quite ordinary.
“Did you fancy him?”
Christian looked over at Finlay. “Fancy
him? It was like being smacked by a truck. I knew. I knew in that moment he was mine. I didn’t care if he was a cousin, if he was connected to Kenneth McCafferty… He was mine.”
Finlay smiled. “And he fell for you?”
“Yep. I was in his bed by lunch time and didn’t leave it for the whole summer. From when we met in June until September, we…loved each other.” Christian rubbed his chest. The pain was still there, sharp as ever, even after twelve years.
“Then my dad died.” He had to pause a moment before continuing. The pain of his loss still had the power to rob him of breath and thought. “I needed Daniel so badly, and he…” Christian shrugged awkwardly to give him time to compose himself. To say the words aloud. “He dumped me. No explanation, no looking back, he walked away from everything we’d planned and went to work with his father.”
Christian fiddled with the laptop.
“Immediately after losing your father?” Finlay’s voice was soft.
Christian nodded and swallowed. “He supported me through the initial days, and the funeral, but then…” Christian shrugged. “He dumped me.”
Finlay grimaced. “Just after the funeral?”
“Yep.”
“Bastard.”
“Yep.” If he confined himself to single syllable responses, he might survive.
“You’re not still love with him?” Finlay gave him a sceptical look.
Christian shook his head. Love seemed too feeble a description to ever come near what Daniel was to him, or had been to him and for that question, he couldn’t even manage a single syllable response. He breathed through his nose for a moment or two then changed tack.
“Not long after Michael and I set up, Michael’s ex tried to steal his ideas. Daniel helped us out then. And again, when Jack was in trouble with Geoff Bryce last Christmas, and again when Travis got mixed up with Bryce.”
Finley frowned and nodded. “He’s been good in that sense.” He hesitated. “Aaron said that you told him that Daniel wanted payback for all the help he’d given you.”
