by Hawke, Jessa
“Okay.”
“Okay?” Ben said hopefully.
“Okay, I’ll come to the resort. And I’ll think about taking a two year position
Olivia cheered, and Bradley let out a startled laugh. Roz felt a pocket of warmth in her chest break open and spill out into her bloodstream, consuming her with a gentle euphoria. She trotted off to her room---originally a guest room--- and quickly packed her small wardrobe and most of her toiletries in one suitcase. She was packed in under an hour, and she sat in her room for a few minutes, relishing the silence and the lack of movements. She brushed her hair out, and the soft red waves fell just above her shoulders. She studied herself in the mirror above her dresser. Her pale face, the spray of freckles across her shapely nose, the full pink lips she used to be teased for (by her lipless sister). She looked younger than 24, and she was fine with that; she wasn’t fine with feeling like some strange ageless creature that had been stagnant for so long that time no longer had meaning. She wanted to accept the position partially for that reason; having the next two years of her life planned out would give her structure, a purpose, maybe lend her some drive. But should she stay in a place just because she was too afraid to break away and carve out her own purpose? Sharon’s words scarred her more deeply than she’d first realized, and Roz’s life had so far been a series of careful, measured steps as close to comfort as she could manage. She had a bachelor’s degree in Art history, but she’d never pursued her own line of creation, believing it to be the sort of dream Sharon would look down upon. She still did drawings and sketches nearly every day, but most of them ended up in the bottom of a box in her closet. She hadn’t shown anyone but Bradley in 2 years.
She had a thought then, and it sizzled in her brain like a lightning strike. The resort had an art building; what if she took classes there while visiting? She could explore the part of her that had been lying dormant for so long, and figure out what she truly wanted to do. She felt numb, and Roz had a feeling that this wasn’t normal. People were supposed to have passions and dreams; why was it still so hard for her to reach for hers?
A knock on the doorframe startled Roz out of her reverie. She turned to see Olivia standing in the doorway, holding her heavy purple suitcase in one hand. “Cab’s here,” she said cheerily. Her brow furrowed as she took in Roz’s expression. “You ok?”
Roz nodded and stood, pulling on the handle of her rolling suitcase so she could tug it across the carpet. “I’m fine, just processing everything.”
“I get it,” Olivia said. “Just try not to get too lost in your head. This vacation is about fun. Just relax!”
Roz chuckled weakly as she followed Ben and Olivia out of the house. Bradley brought up the rear, pulling his little Toy Story suitcase behind him triumphantly. Ben had most of his real luggage.
The ride to the train station was short, and the train ride excited Bradley so much that he worked all of his energy during the first half hour and promptly fell asleep. Another cab ride to the resort was smooth, and the city fell away as the wound through vineyards and grassy hills toward the property. Roz listened to Ben and Olivia’s happy chatter, marveling at how strong their bond seemed to be after going through hell. She felt another pang of sadness, and squeezed her eyes shut against the incongruous feeling. What was wrong with her?
The cab deposited them in front of a stately cream-colored building. It looked strangely like a miniaturized version of the white house, with its sprawling, manicured lawn and row of wide windows. Several cottages were off to the left and right of it, and roz could see the pools in between the houses, huge and sparkling. The houses were all painted in pastels, and the sidewalks were done in matching squares of sky blue, cotton candy pink and soft yellow. Roz felt like she had been placed in a child’s Barbie Resort set. All that was missing was Ken.
Just then, a tall man emerged from the French doors holding an elephantine gift basket and a colorful packet of paper. He wore a crisp green polo shirt with Hartman Hills stamped on his left shoulder in bold cursive script. His jeans were dark and neat, but it looked like he bent and lunged in them a lot; the knees were beginning to wear away. His angular face wore a dazzling smile, and he had thick black hair styled to resemble a casual bed-head. Roz was sure the whole look took him an hour. He had a shadow of stubble across his broad jaw, and his eyes were nearly the same shade of crystal blue as the pools. It was like looking into a glacier, and the effect should have been chilling; instead, Roz felt herself wanting to sink into his gaze, unable to look away. He stopped in front of them and offered his hand to Olivia, who looked the most authoritative most of the time. She removed her arm from Roz’s shoulder and shook hands with him, smiling broadly, apparently feeling as charmed as Roz. Ben cracked a smile as he took his hand, and he was beaming by the time the man released it.
“Artie Hartman, Co-Owner and Director of Activies. You must be Ben, Olivia, and Bradley!” His voice was sonorous, smooth and low like the first key on a piano. His eyes came to rest on Roz. “I’m sorry, and you are…?”
Roz felt her throat close up, and she looked at Olivia in alarm, who swiftly took over. “This is Rosamund Ortega, our nanny and…sort of surrogate daughter.” The smile she gave Roz cracked the sheet of ice that had seized her vocal chords.
“Roz,” she squeaked, then cleared her throat. “Just Roz.” She took his hand, pleased that her grip was firm. Her sister taught her how to give good handshakes when she was ten. She said a silent thank you to Sharon in her head.
“That’s a beautiful name, Roz.” Artie’s eyes held her gaze, and he squeezed her hand once before letting it go. Roz could hardly hear anything for the blood pounding in her ears, and she felt heat rush to her face. Dammit, he’s gonna see that, she thought mournfully. But she was too happy to care; he might have just been being charming,
“Thank you,” she mumbled, lowering her eyes from his. Thankfully, Artie moved on to Ben and Olivia, offering them the shrink-wrapped basket full of snacks, wine, juices, coloring books, toiletries and spa materials. Roz watched the muscles in his forearm bunch as he clasped his hands together. His smile really was infectious; she felt her cheeks roll up as she studied his energetic stance.
“Here is your welcome kit, and here is your welcome packet. ” He handed Olivia the colorful booklet. “You’ll find your loose itinerary, which you are free to move around with the help of our concierge, who is available to you at all times.” He smiled at Bradley, who had become bashful and was hiding behind his mother’s legs. “Everything is flexible so that your little guy doesn’t get tired out or cranky, and if you ever need some alone time, you can leave him with our day care center. We have trained nurses and aides on staff, a four to one ratio for caregivers, and even a petting center. ” He spoke quickly, but his tone was layered with genuine excitement. Roz realized then that he loved running the place; this was his passion.
“Did you hear that?” Ben chirped to Bradley. Bradley didn’t take the bait; he clutched Olivia’s legs tighter, refusing to speak. Artie decided to move on.
“Actually, I can give you guys a tour now, and have your things taken to cabin seven, which is right next door.” Artie gave them each a warm smile, and Roz had to fight to keep from giggling like an idiot.
“Can we get settled first?” Olivia asked. “I’d like to familiarize Bradley with everything so he can relax.” Roz felt her heart sink a little; she’d been looking forward to hearing Artie speak more, and her face must have showed it. Olivia looked at her, and her eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second; Roz almost thought she’d imagined it. Then her face smoothed out, and she spoke again, her voice casual. “But you can show Roz around. I’m sure she’d love to see the grounds. “She shot Ben a look pregnant with meaning, and it passed between them so fast Roz was again impressed by the strength of their bond.
“Absolutely! I was telling Roz about how deep those pools were,” Ben added, scooping Bradley up in his arms and throwing him over his shoulder. “I should g
et this guy changed into trunks, come to think of it. I’m sure he’s just dying to swim. Deep, deep, down.” he finished dryly, and winked at Roz.
Artie was nodding sagely. “As soon as I’m out of sight, he’ll snap right out of it. I see it all the time. I’m not worried though. We’re gonna be buds before this month is over. I’ll see you guys tonight at the welcome dinner.” He gave Bradley a friendly wave as he and his parents disappeared through the French doors. Artie turned to Roz, his shoulders relaxing as his smile did. He dropped his formality as the two bellhops hurried out the doors with the batch of luggage and they were left alone in the lobby. His eyes peered into hers. “How long have you been nannying?” he asked. “You seem close with them.”
“Two years,” Roz answered, and she felt herself flush with pleasure. “I grew up without parents, and my aunt was kind of distant. They’ve made me feel really welcome.” She made herself meet his eyes, and a shiver passed through her before she could brace herself. She didn’t know why she felt she needed to push this particular comfort zone, but she was unable to stop herself.
“That’s beautiful. I see a lot of parents who come through and talk about how hard it is to get help that really feels like they click with the family. I can tell you’re a special person.” He put a hand on her shoulder lightly, but it felt like a thunderclap. “Shall we get started?”
“Absolutely,” Roz said, hearing herself echo Ben from moments earlier. “I’d love to see those pools.”
The pools were beautiful---there was a pool that went from three to six feet in each cluster of cottages, and a wider one that went from four feet to twelve. Sunlight cut through the waters to print wavy patterns of light across the floor, and Roz had a terrifying moment of vertigo as she gazed into the bottom. She felt a hand on her shoulder, more rough than before. She looked up into Artie’s face, startled to see him so close. He’d been talking the whole time, she realized.
“Are you ok?” he asked, his voice threaded with worry. “You were pitching forward a little. Some people do that when they stare too hard at this thing.” He stepped back and started moving toward the golf cart again. “Let me show you the arts and entertainment buildings.”
Artie had been showing her the resort and talking with her for the better part of an hour. The resort was about three miles wide, astoundingly; Roz wondered where the couple had gotten the money for this, especially considering they added Roz onto the package almost as an afterthought without a problem. The landscape was lush, there tiny stores and gift shops sprinkled throughout the grounds, and there were even small streets for the golf carts. It was like she’d been transported to an alternate reality where everything was compact and had a storybook air. An ice-cream man strolled the streets with a handcart, handing out free popsicles.
The art building had been even lovelier than she’d imagined; there were three huge rooms for group classes, ten smaller private rooms, and a room for exhibits or installations. Artie explained that once a year, they put on an exhibit populated solely by pieces the visitors created, and some of their children’s creations as well. Artie glowed with pride as he showed her the wide windows, designed to let in a much natural light as possible, the enormous cache of art supplies, and the boxes of safety art supplies for children. It was like being in heaven; she wanted break open a pack of pains and take a brush to canvas. Artie let her a do a quick sketch of the grounds from a bird’s eye view, and he was impressed when she finished in a mere five minutes. She had been itching to make a watercolor of the pool all afternoon, and tried to be satisfied with the rough sketch she’d crafted, promising herself that she would come back and finish it later.
Roz as filled with a quiet awe, not just because of the facilities, but because Artie had truly done his homework, and clearly took pride in keeping the resort full of enriching activities. The entertainment building boasted a theatre and a small concert hall, but Roz was still thinking about the fresh canvas in the art building as they walked back to the golf cart to take another turn around the resort. Roz felt Artie watching her, unsure if he was simply curious about her background and talents,
Roz had opened up more quickly than she’d ever opened to anyone before. She knew it was partly because he was undeniably handsome, like a 1940’s movie star, or a Disney Prince. But it was also because he seemed to be made of the kind of charm and intelligence that Roz yearned to be near her entire life---the kind of desire she never uttered aloud, for fear of having the dream killed by too-practical Shannon. Now, though, she was allowing the whimsical, dreamy part of her to stir awake, and the sparkle of warmth Artie’s charm had kindled was growing into a flame. In between bits of trivia, he told her about inheriting the resort from his father, who was the nicest man he knew, and running it with his brother, who never felt satisfied with anything.
“That’s not necessarily a bad thing,” Artie explained as the golf cart crawled through the empty cobblestone streets. “He’s always striving for improvement somewhere, and monitoring every aspect of everything he possibly can. He pushes me to be better, and when he’s happy, I feel great about myself. But when he’s not…” he trailed off. “I’m only 32, but I feel so much younger when he chastises me. I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything. It’s not a nice feeling for a man in his thirties.” He chuckled, and it was tinged with sadness. Roz wanted to reach out and give his shoulder a comforting squeeze, but her muscles were suddenly made of stone.
“I think you’re tremendous,” she said instead, feeling her cheeks burn again. “This looks like it’s right out of a fable. Seriously,” she insisted when he gave her a skeptical look. “I’ve never been to a place like this, but this is so…picturesque, and you’re so warm and unbelievably nice…It’s like being placed in this perfect storybook town where anything you could imagine would be taken care of. It’s like a fairy tale.”
The cart slowed to a stop, and Roz’s heart pounded beneath her black tank top. She’d said too much, she realized. She turned toward him, ready to apologize, and found his pale eyes incandescent with emotion. Roz gasped as he leaned toward her and took her smaller hand in his.
“Thank you,” he said softly. He bit his lip, appearing to turn his potential words and sentences over in his mind, trying to choose the right ones. “Believe it or not, that’s exactly what I was going for. This place looked to look like a giant hunter’s paradise, and I’ve always wanted something…softer.” He looked sad, and the change in demeanor hurt Roz’s heart. She squeezed his hand back, her muscles finally waking up. “ My mom died having my younger sister, and she always felt horrible for it. My dad never held it against her, but she looks so much like my mom that it was hard for him not to hurt every time he looked at her. Julia sensed it. And I wanted to make her feel validated.” The smile on his face warmed as he thought about his little sister. “She’s 28 now, but the look on her face when she sees this place makes me feel like we never grew up. And the way you made it sound, just now…that’s exactly what I want everyone to feel. “He released her hand, and Roz had to stop herself from reaching for it again. He turned the cart back on and started to drive again. “I’m sorry I got so intense,” Artie said, his face growing pink. “It means a lot to me, though. And something about you…”he shook his head as if he were coming out of water and laughed, a rich sound that warmed Roz to her toes. She found herself giggling too.
“What’s funny?” she asked. His face was shining with happiness now.
“My brother would kill me for being so unprofessional,” he said, his tone apologetic. “But I really can’t seem to help myself. And I kind of promised my dad when he passed this resort to me that I would never use it an excuse to avoid happiness.”
Roz raised her eyebrows, her pulse racing again. This sounded suspiciously like he was winding up to ask for a date, but that would really be like something from a fairy tale.
“Anyway,” Artie continued. “I know I’ll see you at the welcoming dinner, and I know I’m a lot older th
an you but I can’t shake this feeling that we have a lot in common. I feel like we’d enjoy spending time together, and I hope this isn’t too forward, but I find you enchanting
What? Roz’s heart was in her throat. She swallowed hard around the lump. She was dreaming, that was it. A gorgeous man she’d just met was definitely not asking her out on a date. That was absurd.
“Would you want to have dessert with me afterward, and maybe watch a movie? And I promise this isn’t code.” His face flushed a deep red, and Roz felt like someone was pranking her. “I really do want to eat some ice cream with you and watch a movie. So…what do you say?” Artie gazed at her hopefully. “Please don’t feel like you have to say yes; if it’s a no, nothing will be weird. I’ll make it very easy for you to avoid me.”
Roz laughed then, loud and hard, and the sound made Artie laugh too. “Are you kidding?” she said between gasps of air. “I’d love to hang out with you later.” The tension in her body was melting away, and though she felt like squirming under Artie’s relieved gaze, she felt completely unselfconscious for the first time in recent memory.
“Great,” Artie said. He sounded as though he’d actually expected her to say no. His nervousness was endearing. “I’ll drop you off at the cabin, and then see you in a few hours.” He smiled, and it grew more and more broad as he approached her cabin. “I don’t want them to think I’ve kidnapped you.”
I wouldn’t mind, Roz thought as they came to a stop in front of a soft pink cottage. “I’ll see you later,” she said shyly.
“Bye,” Artie said happily. She watched the golf cart zip away, feeling light and carefree.
“Someone had a good time,” Olivia remarked as Roz bounced into the cabin. The living had an overstuffed green couch and two easy chairs opposite a huge television. Ben was in one of the chairs, his eyes glued to a game on the screen.
