by Hawke, Jessa
It’s been over for a long time, it’s just that neither one of them has wanted to admit it. Roger is watching her with eyes that clearly state:
I hope you’re happy now.
I hope that you can leave me alone with all of this stuff so that I can go back to living my life the way it was meant to be lived—in peace, quiet, and without the addition of a long-haired cashier boy in between your legs.
As young Keegan licks and sucks her, she envisions a future filled with the glisten of artificial dew on vegetables in the market. How did she expect to face him again in there, anyway? She’ll have to move stores; there will be too many memories of Roger, of all those days where she would go in there with him and want the world around her to know that this was her boyfriend—rough, tough, and strong. The difficulty is imagining him with somebody new, somebody else to nerd out with, somebody else to make him Nutella pancakes in the mornings.
The strangest mixture of feelings of all comes with imagining him having sex with somebody else. Mary Anne supposes a dead sex life will be somebody else’s problem, and the force of the loss hits her squarely in the chest. Because the thought that comes hand in hand with that is that Roger has done this, one final bequest, for her. Somebody else will have his kindness, his open mindedness. Somebody else will scale that particular mountain.
When she finally convulses around Keegan’s face, it is with both shame and guilt erupting from her mouth with the groan. Her bird bones fold in on themselves, and she crumples like a piece of paper into the couch, sated at the very long last.
The Queen has been dethroned.
THE END
R
Ride Me Again
Chapter 1 A Crazy Mistress
My mistress calls me a whore, that’s not because I am one, and she knows it. No, she calls me a whore because her husband is my daddy. I’m a constant reminder that her man slept with a colored woman, and she hates me for it. She’s tried to get me sold off to other ranches, but daddy put a stop to that. Now, she just spreads rumors about me and tries to make my life a misery. My mamma passed away when I was ten years old, she was bitten by a snake when she was out working with the cattle, I remember that day well, it’s the one and only time I saw my daddy cry, but I have never seen the mistress so happy, not before or since.
Personally, I think the woman is crazy. She’s some cousin or other of her husband, my daddy, and I think her entire family has been interbred too much. I would never say this to anyone else, I’m not a wicked person like her, but the woman is completely mad and intent on making my life hell.
My full name is Daisy Maisy, but folk round here just call me May. I don’t know what my mamma was thinking when she called me such a name. Daddy says she just thought I was so pretty and that was a pretty name. I say it is a pretty name, for a cow.
The menfolk, who have been on this ranch for many years, treat me like I’m part of the owner’s family. They know who my daddy is, and he never denies that I’m of his blood. He’s always pleased to see me because he truly loved my mamma. It was because of her that he freed all his slaves, many years ago. Every colored, man women and child on this ranch is free, and have papers to prove it. My daddy has a good heart, but unfortunately, when it comes to me, he has his limitations because of his wife’s hatred towards me. Even her children don’t like me because she has taught them that I’m a wicked woman. Those words ring true, but it is she who is the wicked one.
Most of the time I live with the cowboys, because that’s what I am, I’m a cowgirl. I live in the men’s hut, although I have my own room at the end of the bunkhouse. I’ve been brought up on the ranch and there isn’t a job I can’t perform. I can handle a horse and drive cattle as good as the best of them, and they respect me for that. Most of the time I’m out on the plains, working with the boys herding the cattle. It can look quite a sight to a stranger, not only is a woman herding cattle, but she’s colored too. Yes, sire, that certainly turns a few heads when we ride into town. But I don't care if people stare, this is where I am at my happiest. It’s even better when daddy joins us because I don’t get to see him often. He’s always been a good father to me. Made sure I was properly educated when I was a young girl, and he’s the one who taught me how to ride a horse, shoot a gun and herd cattle. I was taught my letters by the same teacher that tutored his other children. He would come to me twice a week, after he had finished in the big house. I was a quick learner, which pleased my daddy because he never told his wife I was being taught an education.
That is my life so far, for the most part it’s been a happy one. I’m one of the lucky few. I earn as much as the other cowboys on the land and I can afford to buy pretty things, if I wanted to, but that sort of life doesn’t suit me. I’d have been better if I was born a boy, because everything I do is traditionally what the menfolk do. I don’t cook, or clean, or even dance. No sir. I ride my horses and shoot my guns. Anyway I’m saving my money so that one day I may be able to have some land of my own.
Now, don't get the wrong idea about me, I may be a bit of a tomboy but I also like my menfolk. That doesn’t make me a whore, but I am a full grown woman and I do have feminine needs. So my sexual exploits tend to be in the whorehouses of the towns we drive the cattle through. Most usually have a special room for the woman who needs the same release as the men, and I’m a frequent visitor to these establishments. Despite my sexual needs, I would never sleep with any of the boys in the bunkhouse, and they all know and respect this. It’s only the new ones that bother me for sexual favors, and they soon learn that I’m off limits. There is the odd one or two, who think because I’m black, then they can do as they please, but the other men soon put them to rights on that one, and they’re soon riding off with a few lumps in their head, never to be seen again. Not that I need any help to take care of myself, I can shoot as good as any man, but they feel protective towards me, and I don't mind.
My daddy once asked me if I wanted him to build me a bunkhouse of my own, now that I was getting older. I think he worried with me being a female and sleeping in the men’s hut, and the fact that I was developing into a woman. I told him no, I liked staying with the men, they made me feel safe.
So, up until a few days ago my life ticked over just like everyone else’s, life seemed pretty perfect and I was happy, I should have known it wouldn't last.
The mistress was struck down by some mysterious illness, she would rant and rave at everybody and on more than one occasion she was seen wandering around the ranch, naked. Daddy hired a nurse for her, to help her dress and wash and all the things a lady does. Her children don’t seem to care for her. Jayne is older than me and Jackson is younger, but we don’t talk much.
Then one day, out of the blue, mistress comes charging into my room and yelling obscenities at me. She was shouting something about my daddy’s Will. How dare I get my name mentioned in his Will, who did I think I was. The devil, that’s who. She went on and on until her nurse came and took her away. The nurse never apologized for her behaviour, but that didn’t surprise me. People with my color are not seen as important. It doesn’t normally bother me because my daddy told me that we are special people, and those without a color on their skin are just plain ordinary. This reasoning was always good enough for me. So long as my daddy loved me, that’s all I care about. Mistress’s hatred though is piling up high, and I wonder at where it will all end.
Chapter 2 Taken
The bunkhouse is empty as all the cowboys are taking the latest cattle to the market in town. I would normally go with them, but today I have come down with a sickness. I’m suspecting that the mistresses had has something to do with it.
After she went all crazy on me about a week ago, she’s been real nice to me ever since, too nice, and that made me suspicious. Yesterday, I was invited into the house to have dinner with the family, while my daddy was away. I really didn’t want to go, but then I didn’t want to upset daddy by ignoring his family, so I went. Now, I’m sick and I’ve missed going out on a
run with the cattle. I should have known she was up to something, but then again, she’s usually glad when I’m out of the way so why would she want to make me ill? It doesn’t make any sense.
After much sickness and running to the latrine, I’m finally starting to feel better, though I can only manage water, no food. The fever has passed and I’m just tired now. I didn’t bother to tell the folk in the house so I haven’t seen a doctor, but I know I’m fine.
I’m awoken in the middle of the night by a noise in the bunkhouse, but I know they’re all away so there should be no one in there. Maybe a wild animal has managed to get in, so I go and investigate. I open my door and reach for a gas lamp, when suddenly I’m grabbed from behind, strong arms pressing my arms to my side as someone else places a sack over my head. I hear a gun cocking and a deep voice warns, “Don’t you be screaming now, missy, or I’ll likely be putting a hole in ya.”
“Missy, what the fuck, this is a girl, Nelson?” I hear a male voice whisper, gravelly. “What you gotten me into?”
“Just do it, boy, and don’t be askin’ no questions. The pay’s good.”
I stiffen my body to make it difficult for them to carry me, but they’re both strong, whoever they are. My feet are tied together and my hands tied behind my back. I’m thrown onto a hard floor, and when it starts to move, I presume it’s a wagon. Why was I being kidnapped? Were these people slavers? I’d heard of such men, those who kidnap free coloreds, an’ sell them back into slavery. This had to be something to do with the mistress.
The trail is bumpy and we seem to be traveling for hours. So much so, that despite the rough ride, I fell asleep. It’s hard to believe I slept in such a situation, but I had been ill and sleep was welcome, to block out what was happening to me.
I’m shaken awake and the cover is taken from my head. It’s around dawn and it seems we’ve been traveling all night. I’m so dry that my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. They give me a cup of water and I can smell something cooking on a campfire. This causes my stomach to rumble as I’ve hardly eaten anything since the day before, because of my illness, but now I’m famished.
One of the guys, the bigger, older one, picks me up and lifts me from the wagon, before setting me down by the fire. He looks in his late thirties with a rough, but handsome, weather-beaten face that’s gotten that way from years of working outdoors. Long hair is tied back in a ponytail, and his deep set grey eyes glint like steel. There seem to be a coldness in him, and I don't doubt for one moment that he’d shoot me, should I try to escape. Despite his age, I can feel his firm muscular body as he carries me, seemingly effortlessly, he keeps himself in good shape.
The younger one is already sat by the fire eating grits and beans, he looks about my age, long hair tied back in a ponytail. He has a few days stubble on his chin, which makes him look a little wild, still, even unshaven, he too looks quite handsome. What struck me most about him was his skin, he is the same color as me.
They undo my bondages and sit me by the campfire.
“You hungry?” the younger one asks and I simply nod.
He piles some food on a plate and passes it to me. Despite my predicament I quickly clear up my plate. I can eat like a hog when I’m out working, so all manners are gone.
“We know your name is Daisy May,” the older man speaks to me. “We ain’t gonna hurt you none, ma’am, we just been hired to take you away from here. If you behave, you don’t need to be tied up no more, what do you say, Daisy May?”
“It’s just May,” I say, quietly.
“Nay, she say nay, she’s gonna be awkward, we gotta tie her up again,” the darker man says, looking annoyed at me.
Oh, I liked his eyes on me, big and soft. He might be pretending to be tough, but I think this big guy is going to be as soft as a pussy cat.
“No,” I said louder. “My name, it’s just May, no Daisy with it.”
“Oh, well that’s alright then,” the paler man says.
“What do I call you two?” I dare to ask.
“We shouldn’t tell you our names, on accounting that you’ll know who we are,” the darker man says.
I laugh at his words.
“Yeah, I suppose that does seem pointless,” the older man then says, also smiling. “I’m Nelson and this young buck here is Leon. You better get comfortable with us around because we bin paid good money to take you a long way from this county.”
It was as I figured it to be, the mistress must be behind this masquerade. I need to convince these men that they really should take me back. My daddy will be shooting them if they don’t.
Chapter 3 Boys will be Boys
“I think I’m quite liking my company on this journey,” I announce to them when we stop to make camp, one evening. “Though you’d do better to turn this wagon right around, before my daddy hunts you down. I was thinking it’d be a shame to see you all shot up.”
“Don’t you be worrying ‘bout us, missy, we can take care of ourselves,” Leon assures me.
We’ve been traveling for three days now, and I feel quite comfortable with my captors. They don’t seem like bad men, which surprises me ‘cos good men don’t kidnap women, and take them away from their homes. I figure there’s more to this than they’re letting on.
As night falls, we’re all sat around a camp fire, Leon and Nelson reminisce on the many cattle drives they’ve been on. We’ve all been drinking some of Nelson’s Red-eye, and the mood is relaxed and friendly. So much so, that both boys are sat real close to me. Occasionally we touch briefly and the contact sends passionate shudders through me. What’s the matter with you girl, I chide myself, you should be devising plans to escape, not lusting after these two.
Leon, maybe noticing my discomfort, leans closer into me and whispers into my ear, his breath hot against my skin, “I’d say it’s the mighty fine Miss Daisy May who’s in danger here, from being set upon with my kisses.”
I should have turned and slapped his face, for being so forward with me, but deep inside I really would like to be set upon with his kisses. Of course, I say none of this to him and simply ignore his remark.
The problem is, I’m liking these guys more and more with every moment. And, what’s even worse is, our closeness is stirring things deep inside of me. Under different circumstances, I’d say I have myself two mighty fine bodyguards here. Still, they have kidnapped me and taken me away from my home. What’s worse is that they’re in cahoots with the mistress. I decide to press them on who’s employed them for this job, hoping the whiskey might loosen their tongues.
“Do either of you two good men know who your employer is?”
“We sure do, but we ain’t tellin’ you, missy,” Leon laughs.
“So, you know what this is all about,” I ask, but neither one of them responds. “I try to respect my mistress, but I’m telling you she gets crazier every day. So, I’m wondering if it’s Jackson and Jayne who got you to do this. And, while we’re at it, what exactly are you going to do with me?”
“Now, we can’t be tellin’ you no secrets, Miss May, you know that?” Leon says.
“Are you going to kill me?” I ask outright, and I do have a small trace of fear in my heart.
“Miss May, do not be fooled by my friend here,” Nelson finally speaks to me. “We may seem friendly and affable, but we are also cold bloodied killers. We kill for a living, but you do not need to fear us. We are not inclined to kill defenseless females, and wouldn't have taken the job if that’s what it entailed.”
That seems to change the mood of the evening. Leon and Nelson became more withdrawn and sit staring at the fire, neither one speaking again. I finish what’s left of my whiskey and turn in for the night, leaving them two in silence, by the fire.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep, but movement in the camp wakes me up. The fire’s still burning but I can’t see the men anymore. A noise to my right pulls my attention and when I look over, I can hardly believe what I’m seeing. Nelson and Leon are havin
g sex. Leon is on all fours and Nelson is behind him, their bodies moving in unison together like a well-oiled machine. I can't help but stare at their fucking, it’s carnal and animalistic and I can't take my eyes off them.
I can feel a deep heat between my legs and an itch that definitely needs scratching. Slipping my hand under the covers, I push down my pants until my finger slips between my labia lips, already wet from my arousal. Moaning lightly as my fingertips brush over my little nub of pleasure, I stretch my legs so I can access my fanny easier. With two fingers inside my wetness, I fuck myself as I watch the two men fuck each other.
Nelson grabs ahold of Leon’s curly hair and pulls him upright, his erection still inside his ass. Twisting Leon’s head slightly, he leans forward and kisses him on his full lips. Even from where I am, I can hear the wetness of their kiss as their lips slip and slide together.
The flickering flames from the fire light up their magnificent bodies, both of them naked. I drool at the sight of them. Despite his age, Nelson has an amazing physique, broad muscular back, thick set arms and legs, he’s one fine male specimen. Leon’s slightly smaller in every respect, in height and body shape, but still he too is a fine figure of a man. I can’t believe these two fine specimens of manhood prefer men to women.
