by Carlo Zen
I see. It's unbelievably cold out. He must be asking for a chance due to a truly pressing sense of urgency.
"You're serious about using diesel as coolant...? Only one, you hear? I'll take responsibility if something goes wrong. Just don't lose any personnel."
"Understood."
"Let me know how it goes."
Adding the formality about how she's expecting good news, Tanya hangs up. She nearly sighs, which is basically a conditioned reflex by this point.
I'm aware that she should suppress the urge, but holding in sighs is bad for mental health.
"Busted before we even get to use them? This is the absolute worst."
A sigh hidden behind complaints.
Tanya's only consolation is that since she's indoors, her breath isn't visible. There would be no hiding a telltale white cloud.
Switching gears, she gets ready to return to her usual, routine work when she hears a knock and looks up.
Commanders essentially have no time to themselves, but this is plain hectic.
Tanya hears the sound of footsteps and the rustling of someone brushing off their clothes. The one who asks to enter is a subordinate officer assigned to the infantry unit.
"It's Lieutenant Grantz, Colonel. May I have a moment of your time?"
"Sure, what is it?"
Grantz must have been brushing the snow off the overcoat that is little more than camouflage-esque sheets. If he came in without doing that, the coat would have gotten wet and heavy.
From his complexion, it's simple to gather that he was nervously stamping his feet earlier because he has a heavy report to give her.
"About the infantry unit, the gear we received may not---"
"Hold up, Lieutenant Grantz. I don't like having my time wasted with minced words. Just give me an accurate report."
When she interrupts his hesitant tone and gives him a stern warning, he seems to get it. As expected, the lieutenant straightens up and corrects himself with an apologetic look on his face.
"Excuse me, Commander. To be frank, the gear we've received isn't meant for winter battles in the Federation. As a result, there's been an outbreak of serious deficiencies. Here you go." He hands her a formal written report. It's a document written jointly by First Lieutenants Grantz and Tospan detailing the struggles the infantry forces are facing.
Mages, who regularly move with blistering speed at high altitude, get gear that comes with a measure of cold protection, and they're adequately educated about how to protect themselves from the elements. So Tanya officially dispatched Grantz to look after the screwup Tospan, which seems to have produced results.
Unfortunately, they aren't the kind I can be genuinely satisfied to hear.
"Their weapons are freezing? Shit, I figured that might happen in the worst-case scenario, but...it's too soon. It's still November, for goodness' sake."
"Yes, it's just as you say. Of course, we're doing everything we can to make do with what we have..."
"Is there anything you can do?"
"The advisor sent from the Council for Self-Government told us to pour hot water over them."
Tanya's reaction is uncertain after the latest revelation in this sigh-worthy exchange.
The advice from the local specialist is fairly reasonable. If machinery oil freezes, solving the issue with hot water isn't necessarily a bad idea, if a little crude. Operating a firearm without adequate lubricant causes a degree of wear and tear that makes people want to cover their eyes, but even if it galls, a gun that shoots is better than one that doesn't.
"...Well, if we're looking for a logical solution, that's certainly one. But, Lieutenant Grantz, do the soldiers have adequate access to boilers and fuel to make that happen?"
"Frankly, we don't have enough." The rest of his report, delivered in an apologetic voice, isn't exactly pleasant. "The mages are helping out here and there even though it's prohibited."
That's something Tanya can't ignore.
Right when we should be conserving the strength of our mages, we're using them as hot water dispensers instead...?! The reason it's prohibited in the first place is because we can't afford to let our mages become exhausted before we even enter battle.
Sadly, if we need hot water...the law of conservation of energy will be merciless.
We can't make something from nothing.
It's inevitable that if we can't secure enough fuel, some of the troops unable to stand the cold will redesignate the mages as human heaters. Officially, they're being told not to do that, but something's gotta give in these conditions.
"If it's not one thing, it's another. I appreciate the Council for Self-Government's advice, but it's going to be virtually impossible to implement on a regular basis."
"Lieutenant Tospan says we should at least warm up the machine guns..."
Tanya furrows her brow in spite of herself. "Keeping the core of the infantry's firepower operational certainly isn't a bad idea, but..."
Unfortunately, it's become difficult to supply the machine guns with enough bullets. If this were the Rhine front, where we had great access to supplies, we could get by with a boatload of consumables and ammunition. But that's too much to hope for given the supply situation of the imperial forces deployed in the east.
Conserving ammunition and focusing on what's necessary to keep their weapons operational... The idea's not bad, given that it's coming from Tospan.
But as the commander of the Kampfgruppe, Tanya can't approve.
"Raising our overall firepower is our greatest concern at the moment, isn't it? I mean, what could we do if the enemy breached our perimeter? We can't fire into our own lines and mow down our guys along with the intruders."
Machine guns are convenient. In fact, they're too convenient. Soldiers who are overly dependent on them are often fragile.
Infantry fight at the very front. That's an immutable truth. A foot soldier who gets into the habit of hiding and waiting for support loses much of their willingness to fight and can be called only a former soldier---someone who used to be a warrior.
"If, hypothetically, machine gun support was cut off, what would you do?"
"In the worst case, we'd use our shovels to eliminate the enemy in a close-quarters battle."
"Lieutenant Grantz, I don't deny that the shovel is an implement born of civilization, but..." Tanya answers her subordinate's confident declaration in a tone of voice that sounds like she's suffering from a headache. It's not as if this is the Stone Age, so I want us to have the brains to avoid that kind of scenario in the first place. "...As a commander, I can't send you out with nothing but shovels to fight against Federation soldiers wielding small arms..."
Suddenly, Tanya realizes what's so weird about what she just said. "Hmm? Hold on. The Federation troops are armed, too."
"Yes?"
Grantz has a blank look on his face as if he wonders why I'm bringing up something so obvious.
Realizing it was a mistake to ask this slow-witted guy, Tanya changes targets. She turns to her adjutant as if to say it's better to ask someone who knows the enemy.
"Lieutenant Serebryakov, you can read the official Federation language, correct?"
"Yes, of course."
"Great..." Tanya nods and continues, "We need weapons we can use. And enemy weapons are clearly viable even in this cold. In that case, the solution is simple."
The you've-got-to-be-kidding expression on her adjutant's face is evidence of how sharp she is. Meanwhile, Grantz seems confused, so for better or worse, his thinking must be too inflexible for this.
Actually, it's likely that after he gets more experience, he'll be able to make the leap as well.
"We're going to use enemy weapons."
"The ones that we've seized? I beg your pardon, but..."
She already knew he would grumble that they didn't have enough.
"Lieutenant Grantz, luckily I have a few ideas for where we can get more. Now then..." Tanya's expression is unconcerned as she cont
inues, "Lieutenant Serebryakov!"
"Yes, ma'am!"
"We have some Federation small arms, right? We're going to test them."
"Understood."
With no questions asked, her adjutant retrieves the list of seized items off a shelf. This synchronization is important. Tanya's happy to reconfirm that she has a capable, rare breed of officer who grasps her intentions immediately.
"Here's a list of everything the Kampfgruppe has, Colonel."
"Go with her, Lieutenant Grantz. See if those weapons are usable or not."
Not long later, some modest comparison trials were done.
What we tested was the full complement of imperial infantry gear. After comparing all the gear the Imperial Army uses (besides computation orbs) with their Federation counterparts, our findings are shocking.
"Basically, all our equipment has been subject to Galápagos syndrome! What year is this?! Are we basically dodo birds?!"
Cooped up in her office, Lieutenant Colonel Tanya von Degurechaff sorely laments the situation alone.
The main reason she's cursing her fate is because the higher-ups completely misjudged this environment.
Overall, the Empire's design philosophy is terribly flawed.
The Federation-made weapons are so simple that even if someone was drunk, they could take these guns apart, clean them, then put them back together again. And they're built to last to boot.
The Imperial Army's standard-issue gear doesn't even compare. Our weapons were designed by forcing everything to their limits, producing high-performance pieces that are overly complex.
It's a gap born of both the Imperial Army's strategic environment, where potential enemies lurk in every direction, and the Federation Army's, which has to take a fearsome winter into account.
"It's only a matter of time before we and our pointlessly sophisticated machines will be overpowered by our enemy and their keen sense of what's good enough... In this day and age, we should be designing by subtraction not addition, huh...?"
The Imperial Army Weapons Division had laughed off the Federation's tools of war as crude, but they must have been lacking in imagination. They thought a system with redundancy would be more resilient than a system that was pared down as much as possible.
In pursuit of their one solid chance of victory, the military planners came up with the interior lines strategy and optimized everything for domestic mobile battles to raise the possibility of success even a tiny bit.
This instrument of violence of unparalleled precision, the Imperial Army, ended up like the Japanese flip phone---another product of Galápagos syndrome.
In a different market, it's incredibly uncompetitive.
Every moment counts in capitalist competition, sure, but if you're a minute or even a second late in a war, you might pay for it with your life. Which is why Tanya has to acknowledge the issue head-on.
"Shit, so the Federation is a bunch of penguins? If we're going to adapt to this environment, we've got to become penguins, too."
The Imperial Army had been scoffing at the Federation Army as birds who couldn't fly, but if the enemy can fight in an environment it's specialized in, then we're the ones who are left writhing in agony.
From Tanya's perspective, the Empire's position is based on a huge miscalculation.
"Troops on the front lines need weapons that can be used in the field, not in a lab." Knowing the problem gets them halfway down the road to a solution. If the issue is that their equipment isn't adapted to the environment in the Federation...
"We'll have to make do with whatever's available," Tanya murmurs, glaring at the map hanging on the wall and then breaking into a smile.
Recently, there have been multiple reports of contact in an area of the Federation dotted with villages and forests. That has to mean there's a weapons and ammunition depot nearby.
The partisans are also active, so for better or worse, there's no lack of prey.
After all, this is the front line---even if the joint Imperial Army and Council for Self-Government battle against the guerrillas has been making rapid progress.
It's understandable that since personnel is finite, the priority is maintaining stable communications lines. As a result, the guerrillas near the enemy front line have mostly gone unchecked.
Busy with preparing for winter---laboring to build fortifications while also securing supplies and the issue of readying the troops for cold weather---surely none of the Imperial Army units have been able to do anything much more proactive than defending themselves.
Which is why Lieutenant Colonel Tanya von Degurechaff summons her trusted vice commander and adjutant, then immediately hands out orders.
"Major Weiss, pick enough troops to form a company."
"A company, ma'am?"
"That's right. I'm putting you in command. Take the best we've got."
"Yes, ma'am..."
Her subordinate with the grim face has probably already made up his mind. She senses his fierce will to bravely carry out whatever mission it might be---what a dependable guy.
"If I'm going to form the unit, may I ask what its mission will be?"
"Plunder."
"Underst--- What? P-plunder?"
"C-C-Colonel?"
She's surprised at their high-pitched questions and twitching expressions.
Even if it's not on par with The Scream, they still managed to capture shock better than any lesser artist. Tanya can't help but wince. She didn't even know these two were the type to have faces this expressive. And her adjutant had been silent until just now. She must have been caught terribly off guard.
"What? It's a joke. Aren't you gonna laugh?" This is how Tanya had planned to lighten the mood.
Seeing how hard Weiss is trying to relax after that explanation, it's clear that the joke failed. Apparently, I have a different sense of humor from these two.
"Please spare us any jokes we can't laugh at."
"The lieutenant is right... If you'll excuse my saying so, that was too much."
"I'm merely a soldier who follows the law of war and other military regulations. I have no intention of putting our fatherland at odds with modern legality."
I had assumed that since we've spent a significant amount of time together, we would have begun to share the same sense of humor, but the harsh reality is a slap in the face.
It's tricky to compromise between differing aesthetics.
That said... Tanya recomposes herself. Even if her subordinates are a bunch of warmongers with a deficiency of humor, as long as they do their jobs as pros, she can't even really call that a fault.
"The tragic reality is that our supply lines are being paralyzed by the Federation winter."
More than anything, Tanya boasts a talent for looking at herself subjectively.
She's been aware for a while now that the only notable feature of her personality is how seriously she takes everything. Naturally, I've been working on that. She's struggling to incorporate some humor. But perhaps she isn't making much progress.
"Essentially, it's causing chaos."
Since her jokes are somewhat lacking in humor, she can't rule out the possibility that her subordinates see her as straitlaced.
It's no wonder she ventures to focus on work in a matter-of-fact way. Her voice retains a businesslike tone as she begins to explain their situation with her eyes on Weiss.
"The Council for Self-Government has been established through the good offices of General von Zettour, and our logistics situation is improving. But we can't expect things to instantly turn around."
"Even if security in the rear improves?"
"Unfortunately, yes."
This is another point on which Weiss is a pro.
Whenever the topic changes, he deftly matches the mood. His handling of the conversation is sound as he nods to show he understands. I like the stability of his attitude that makes it clear he grasps the situation.
"Stability of the rear is a major factor. And the j
oint counterinsurgency battles with the Council for Self-Government have been no small success. But on a most basic level, if we don't have things, nothing can happen."
"Meaning the distribution improvements aren't reaching us in the field?"
"Exactly. We have the route, but the critical thing at the moment is the cold-weather gear. Production isn't meeting demand."
Once you're an officer, you're forced to acknowledge the challenges the Imperial Army is facing whether you want to or not, so maybe it's only natural that Serebryakov is nodding---she's always keeping an eye on the logistics situation beside Tanya as her adjutant.
Tanya has no doubt her two subordinates understand the situation.
It probably doesn't need to be said, but she says it anyway.
"Under the circumstances, the Salamander Kampfgruppe is being hounded by our need to complete preparations for winter. That about sums up our current status."
Loathing waste and minimizing risk aren't mutually exclusive, you know. It's not logical to spare a little effort only to drastically increase the chances of an accident occurring. That's nothing but laziness.
Anyone who does that is trash who should be shot, which is why Tanya is always careful to follow procedures.
"However, I suppose it should be said... In order to put our full power on display, we need to procure optimal gear."
"...Excuse me, ma'am, but where are we supposed to get it?" Weiss seems to be saying, You can't be serious.
In other words, he's catching her drift nicely. Tanya nods as if to say that the answer is exactly what he suspects. "The law of war allows the seizure of the enemy's national assets."
The Federation may not have ratified the law of war, but the Imperial Army adheres to the rules of engagement on principle. Tanya studied the Rules of War on Land so intensely at the academy that she practically memorized them, so she's confident in her expertise in this field. Laws aren't made to be broken but dodged.
"I'm fairly certain the law of war allows seizure of cash, funds, and realizable securities, which are strictly the movable property of the state, along with weapon stockpiles, means of transport, stores and supplies, and generally all property of the state, which can be used for military operations."
