by K. C. Hughes
He pulled out a chair and sat down. Their eat-in kitchen was decorated with chickens and more chickens. There was a chicken mat in front of the sink. A chicken cookie jar. Chicken coffee cups and plates and even chicken pots and pans. Not to mention a chicken table cloth with matching placemats. He wondered why the floor wasn’t covered with chickens.
“Mom, I found this bracelet in my um, crazy room at the hospital. Did you give it to me?” He asked, careful not to cup it.
She looked up from chopping celery. “Nope.”
He stared at the markings in the tile floor, not sure where to go next in search for the gift giver. Spanks, his orange cat, walked in circles around his legs. He reached down and rubbed the back of his ears. He purred like a hemi engine. His cat had always been a welcomed distraction. And for most of his life, Spanks was his only friend. But Deakon had to get answers.
“Try to remember, Mom. Do you know of anybody else who came to see me?” He knew it was a dumb question because he had no friends to visit him. “It was left in my room wrapped like a gift.”
“Oh yeah, it totally slipped my mind.” She rinsed her hands, dried them on a towel, and sat at the table across from him. “Let me take a look at it.” She reached for the bracelet.
Deakon yanked his hand away. “I don’t think you want to touch it.”
“Why’s that?”
“Never mind. Do you know where it came from?” He tapped the bracelet.
She rested her elbows on the table and lowered her chin in her hands. “Honestly son, it didn’t come from me.”
He could tell she was holding something back. “Where did it come from, Mom?”
Her eyes skipped past his. Had she made a mistake by giving him the gift without opening it? But it was just a bracelet. She got up from the chair and walked back to the counter. Deakon got up and grabbed her wrist and led her back to the table. He towered over her
“Mom, tell me what you know.” It wasn’t a question.
She grabbed the skirt of her apron, twisting it and sat down. "All I know is that Zelda from next door found it in her mailbox. She said the mailman accidently left it there.”
"Who sent it?"
"I don't know. It was addressed to you, so I gave it to you."
Deakon jerked his head toward her. “What? “I thought you said you didn’t know.”
“I said it didn’t come from me.” She avoided his gaze and cleared her throat. She looked around the kitchen, still avoiding his eyes.
Spanks jumped onto the table and in one rough move, Deakon knocked him down. He squealed in that high pitched sound that only cats can make.
She whipped her head towards him. “Whatcha do that for?” She was so upset her words came out fast and choppy.
After Spanks ran out the kitchen, Deakon called out his name. He didn’t know what came over him. He had never so much as tapped Spanks, ever. Even after he tore up the gaming chair in his room, he never thought to spank Spanks. When he didn’t come back, Deakon turned to his mom.
“Sorry,” he said, mumbling. He needed answers to the questions that rented space in head. He rested his head on the table and wanted to give up. Then he bounced to his feet, suddenly remembering that it came from Germany. When he first saw it, he’d been in too much pain to pay it any mind.
He paced the kitchen. Someone from Germany had given him a gift. Maybe it was for his sixteenth birthday. He stopped in mid-stride and nearly choked on the saliva that went down his wind pipe. What if it came from his biological mother? Did she even remember him? Years ago after learning that he had been adopted, Deakon fought off the feeling that he was unwanted by his own mother. With no friends he thought he was unlovable. There were only two people that loved him-one had four legs and the other sat at the kitchen table.
“Did she mail it or drop it off?” he asked, sitting down.
"You mean Zelda?”
“No, I’m talking about my biological mother."
“I already told you, Zelda dropped it off? What makes you think the gift came from her?"
"My first clue was the Germany postmark."
She was stunned. "How do you know you were born in Germany?"
"Mom, I’ve seen my birth certificate."
"Honey, I'm not sure who sent it," she said, wishing that she’d never given him the gift.
Deakon knew it had to be from his mother. Who else in Germany knew him. He wanted to meet her. He needed to know about the bracelet. He wanted to see her and ask why she had given him up. He wanted to see if he looked like her. One part of him wished she was somewhere on skid row or doped up in a crack house so he could say, see if you kept me, your life would be better.
“Mom, you have to tell me everything you know about this bracelet.”
“That's all I know. Can we just leave it alone? Don’t you like it?”
“It’s not that,” he softened. “How much do you know about my adoption?”
“I don’t know much, but I do know that we wanted you so badly that we traveled to Germany to get you.”
He swallowed hard. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it, but something nagged at him. “Why Germany and not here in the States?”
She shrugged her shoulders and didn’t answer.
“Was it a private adoption or an agency? Do you remember anything about it?”
“Funny you asked. It wasn’t an agency but a home.”
“So it was a private adoption?”
“No and yes,” she said, exhaling. “We were told it was an adoption agency when they called us.”
“They called you?” he asked astounded.
“We thought it was odd too, but we were so happy to get you.”
Deakon stared out the sliding glass door into the backyard. It was dessert landscaped surrounded by a block fence. He had no fond memories playing with friends. “What did they say when they called?”
“Can we not talk about this, Deakon?”
“Please, Mom, it’s really important to me.”
She sighed. “We tried for many years to have a child. Doctors, specialists, and even eastern medicine. When that didn’t work, we saved a lot of money for in vitro fertilization. The embryo didn’t take, so we gave up.”
He hated seeing her like that and he could tell that she really wanted a baby. He touched her hand and nodded for her to continue.
“Your father escaped the pain with his work and I muddled around doing this and that. And one day out of the blue, we get a call about you.”
“Do you remember where in Germany?”
“Yes, it was a little house in a beautiful city that had three rivers surrounding it.”
“What’s the name of the city, Mom?”
“Oh, Passau,” she said. “Passau, Germany.”
“Anything stand out about the house?”
“As a matter of fact I do remember something. I couldn’t help thinking how charming the city was. But when the organ played from the church across from the house, it gave the city an eerie feeling.”
“So there was a church near the home that you got me from?”
“No, it wasn’t a church, it was the only church in the city.”
“Tell me everything you remember about that visit.”
Wanda couldn’t continue with her son’s questions. She ran through a whole range of feelings when he drilled her. She felt remorse that he had been abandoned, she felt responsible that he was taken from his motherland. But more than anything, she was hurt that he wanted to know about his birthmother.
“Honey, that’s all I remember,” she said. She pushed up from the table and walked out of the kitchen, head down.
Deakon heard her slippers drag the floor as she left. Her mood had changed and he didn’t feel comfortable asking more questions. Unfortunately, more questions came out of it than answers. He darted to his room and googled Passau, Germany.
He learned that it was located ninety miles east of Munich but much closer to the Austrian border. The images were quai
nt. The pictures captured colorful houses from the Renaissance era. He remembered studying that era at Addeson Prep with a sense of detachment. But now, thinking of his origins, he felt a connection to the town.
He wanted to learn as much as he could about the adoption agency in Passau, so he looked it up. The only thing that came close to adoption was Tea Cup Yorkie puppies for sale. Odd. He went to another search engine but got the same result. Bing, same. Dogpile, same. Yahoo-not even gonna try.
While staring at the monitor, he kept reaching to push his glasses up. They weren’t there. He hadn’t needed them since he left the psychiatric ward at Mercy General. But it was weird that his reflexes hadn’t caught up.
Not satisfied with the adoption agency search, he logged off and tried to forget about it. But, he was unable to stop thinking about his biological mother. He knew she’d sent him the bracelet.
CHAPTER 12
Deakon spent the next few days getting used to driving his new GT. When he drove alone, he tested the power of the car. He gunned the motor, stopped on a dime, and zigzagged on side streets. That puppy had 426 horses, enough to give passengers whiplash if the throttle was mishandled. He practiced caressing the gas pedal and tapping the brakes, so when he drove Karri to the party, she wouldn’t get car sick.
He left class early on Friday to buy cologne to wear to the party. He felt giddy about going, though he was pretty sure there wouldn’t be any cake. Who cared? Spending time with Karri was better than any dessert. He wondered if they were going on a date. And if it was a date, did that mean that he was suppose to kiss her when he dropped her off?
So many questions and not enough answers. When he returned from the mall, he wanted to ask his dad about kissing a girl, but the thought of it made him sick. He hated not knowing and wondered why they didn’t teach that in sociology. Whenever he needed information on any subject, he would simply read about it.
Read. That’s it!
He showered and splashed on the Gucci cologne that he’d just bought. Styling his hair took little time because it fell in place naturally. It went from wavy and unruly to straight and manageable. Happy with the end result, there was one other thing to do before he left. He unlocked the latch on his window. Even though he was in college, he was only sixteen, and his parents had every right to censor his activities. He couldn’t risk being told no, so he never asked.
He jumped into the GT and invoked all 426 horses, rushing to the book store. When he walked into Barnes & Noble, he glanced at his watch and noticed that he didn’t have enough time to search for a book on kissing. He scanned the store, looking for a salesperson, preferably an older one, who wouldn’t laugh at him. He was relieved when he saw an older lady at the customer service desk. After explaining his dilemma, she suggested the book, The Joy of Sex. He blushed when she said the word sex.
When he walked to the counter to purchase it, he couldn’t look the sales clerk in the eye. After he paid for it, he dashed out the store and read it in his car in the parking lot. After ten minutes of reading, he was able to pick out the main point: women wanted a confident man. He wished he had time to buy a book on male confidence, but he had to get to Karri’s house. He would have to wing it.
She, like him, was a commuter student. She lived in Tempe in one of those gated subdivisions. Each house had been painted the same hue of desert beige. They would’ve all been cookie-cutter houses, but some were two story and others were ranch style. Her house was a two story with huge columns surrounding the front entry, giving it a luxury feel. The walkway was covered with sandstone pavers. And the door was solid teakwood. The overall effect was rich but not too rich, classy but not gaudy.
He rang the doorbell and wondered if this was what it felt like to pick up a girl for prom. He wanted to do cartwheels in the front yard he was so excited. He constantly shifted his weight from one leg to the other. He turned around, looking at his car for no particular reason. He reached for the bell to ring it again, but hesitated. At one point, he stood crossed legged until someone answered.
He was a wreck!
When Karri opened the door the muscles in his legs weakened. He took a couple steps back to balance himself. She looked gorgeous, wearing a short sleeve denim blouse that tied just above her belly button. The cargo pants she wore had a low waist and were cinched below her knees. Her open-toe, wedge heeled sandals showed freshly painted pink toenails. She wore her hair in a single braid that crowned her head with the rest hanging down her back. The whole look worked for him. He felt underdressed in his dark brown hoodie and matching skinny jeans.
“Hi there, you look nice,” she said
“Um, thanks,” he said, blushing. “You look amazing.”
“You think so?” she said, twirling around playfully. She stepped out of the house and shut the door behind her.
For some reason he had in his mind that he would meet her parents and take pictures. What was he thinking? They walked to the car and he rushed to the driver’s seat so he could look good for her, but when she didn’t get in he slapped his forehead. He jumped out, ran to her side and opened the door for her and ran back to the driver’s seat.
“Sorry. This is new to me.”
“You’ve never been on a date before?”
So this was a date? Yes! He wanted to do the Tiger Woods fist pump but didn’t. Instead he gave her a confident nod like everything was cool. He started the car and drove off. He felt clammy being so close to her. Her face was so smooth he wanted to touch it. When she looked at him with those magnificent brown eyes and licked her glossed lips, he felt a primitive instinct to touch his lips to hers. He turned to focus on the road, scared that he might wreck the car.
They drove in silence and it reminded him of when he and his dad rode together. Deakon felt like he had to make conversation to fill the quietness. What could he talk about? The first thing that came to mind was the coefficient of friction on wet surfaces, which was his favorite topic in physics. But somehow he doubted it would be an icebreaker. When she spoke and broke the silence, he exhaled with relief.
“Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Sure,” he replied, reminding himself to be confident.
She lowered her head and fidgeted with the straps of her purse. “I don’t know how to say this, but you changed.” She looked at him.
He didn’t know how to respond. He knew he’d changed, but he couldn’t explain it. “My mom said it was a growth spurt.” He shrugged his shoulders hoping she’d accept it.
“Must’ve been some kind of spurt.”
“I know, right?”
Stay cool.
She was so close he could lean over and kiss her. He grasped the steering wheel so tightly he thought it would rip off the column.
“I saw the guys at my high school grow, like over the summer. But not like yours. How many inches did you grow?”
“Dunno,” he said.
The Friday night traffic was picking up. They were on University Drive heading near campus, but he hadn’t practiced driving at night. So he was trying to concentrate on the road and navigate the conversation with Karri at the same time.
“You look good, really good.” She rested her left arm on the armrest.
He let out a smile to hide his nervousness. “You think?” he asked, turning to her. He knew he looked different, but to get a positive confirmation from Karri McDill was great.
“Have you looked in the mirror lately?”
“Um, kinda.” His confidence was growing by the minute.
Deakon turned on the radio and Rise Up was playing. He didn’t know who made the song but he liked the beat.
Gotta rise up to the top to the top.
They bobbed their heads to the music until they reached fraternity row. Deakon remembered reading that the University closed down the original frat row and reclaimed the houses due to heavy partying and suspect hazing. But the houses on Gammage Parkway had the Greek letters that looked like a fraternity row. They w
ere two-story man-caves just as he imagined.
He felt his nerves settle as they reached the house. They hadn’t subsided, but he felt more confident. The compliments from Karri helped.
They walked into the house without knocking or ringing the doorbell. Those would have gone unheard anyway due to the thumping music. People stood everywhere holding red plastic cups as he had envisioned. The living-room-turned-dance-floor was filled with girls bouncing to the heavy hip hop beats, but not like the way the curvy, video girls moved like he’d seen on You Tube. They laughed while dancing with one another and tossed their freshly curled hair. He didn’t see any guys dancing.
“I’m going to get beer. Wait here,” she said.
Deakon didn’t hear her over the loud music. He stood still, unsure of what to do. As he searched the back of the house in the direction she headed, he noticed a few girls staring at him. He pulled at his pants. These were not ogles of disgust that had greeted him all his life, though. In fact he felt a vibe of admiration coming off the hotties. He proudly swelled his chest.
“Don’t get big-headed,” Karri said. She held two cups and handed one to him.
Deakon looked at the foamy content of the cup and shook his head. “I don’t drink.” He had to holler over the music.
“C’mon you can have one. It’s just beer.”
“I know, I can’t hear either.”
“No-no, I said, it’s just beer,” she said, leaning closer to him.
“I’m gonna’ pass. Besides, I’m just sixteen.”
“Oh, yeah right. I totally forgot because you look like you’re nineteen or twenty.”
“Still illegal.”
“Okay smart ass,” she said, punching him in the gut. She laughed and chugged one of the cups of beer in one gulp. She placed the full cup inside the empty one, moved to the dance floor, and started dancing.
Deakon felt thirsty so he side-stepped his way between people and made it to the kitchen where he spotted several plastic bottles of two liter Cokes. No diet soda like his mom kept in the house, but the real thing. He grabbed his own red plastic cup and filled it with ice and Coke.
