“I always want you to feel safe with me.”
“I already do.” I sit up and trace his jaw with my fingers. “I don’t blame you for what happened.”
“I blame myself.”
“I can tell.”
“I should’ve known. He’s been unpredictable for weeks. But that showdown with Serena was the last straw. I shouldn’t have allowed you back at the clubhouse until he was dealt with.”
Z’s guilt churns in the air between us. I can’t let him think this is his fault. “Z, I have to tell you something.”
His stomach muscles contract as he lifts his head and quirks an eyebrow. “Why the serious tone, Siren?”
Z
What the fuck is Lilly trying to tell me? She looks so damn nervous…and guilty.
She bites her lip and looks away. “I goaded him a little.”
“Excuse me?”
“He scared me, the way he was waiting in the hallway.” Her shoulders jerk. “But I thought maybe if he hit on me or something…You said if a brother was disrespectful or hit on an old lady, he could be kicked out. I figured it would happen anyway, I might as well force it now before he really hurt you or someone else.”
None of what she’s saying makes sense. “What exactly did you do?”
“Not much, I flirted back a little.” She scowls. “But then I really got scared, so I tried to walk away. That’s when he turned violent.”
“Jesus Christ.” I spear my fingers through my hair and sit up straight. “Do you realize what could’ve happened to you if Rooster hadn’t come around that corner?”
“I know all too well, Z. That’s why I did it.”
Once my heart stops hammering, I pounce on her, knocking her back against the mattress. “You’re diabolical, woman. You know that? Dangerous too.”
She swallows hard and meets my eyes. “Teller getting shot, the way Shadow treated the girls, the way he came after me, how he kept on getting bolder in the ways he challenged you…I was scared it would escalate.”
If only she knew how much deeper Shadow’s crimes ran. Still, I don’t want to encourage her to put herself in danger.
“Too late, I realized my plan was absurd and I lost my nerve. By then, he wasn’t letting me leave.” She frowns. “If he ever planned to in the first place.”
“He knew you were my old lady. Even if you gave him the green light, he should’ve walked away. Attacking you was way over the line.”
“I knew as long as I reached you, I’d be safe. I also knew you’d make sure it never happened again.”
“Don’t ever do that again.” I lean down and kiss her. “And don’t ever, ever tell anyone what you just told me. Not Hope, not Murphy, Heidi,” I pull back and look her in the eye. “No one.”
“Okay,” she whispers.
“All anyone will ever know is he attacked you. You fought him off. Rooster and Stitch saw you fighting him off. End of story. Everything that happened after has nothing to do with you.”
She wraps her arms around my neck and leans up to kiss me. “I swear I’ll never tell a soul. I’ll never speak of it again.”
I don’t doubt her.
Who else but me knows how well Lilly can keep a secret?
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Z
WHY CAN’T I stay in bed for like, oh I don’t know, another year?
Lilly stretches and pushes up against me. Her hair falls over her shoulder, exposing the deep black and blue mark ringing the side of her neck. “Motherfucker.” I want to find out where they buried Shadow’s remains so I can piss on his grave.
My leg’s throbbing like a bitch this morning. I’d rather not take the pain pills the doctor gave me, but I do take the antibiotics.
“I need to run out for a bit,” I explain to Lilly after breakfast.
“Okay. Kendall’s coming over to give the kids swim lessons.”
“Good.” I lean over and kiss her temple. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.”
“I won’t be gone long.”
“You gonna be good for Mommy?” I ask Chance.
“We’re swimming!” he announces, pointing toward the pool.
The good feeling from spending the morning with my family fades as soon as I arrive at the hospital.
It’s my obligation to inform Sway that the VP spot is now vacant. I’m not exactly looking forward to the conversation.
Head wound or not, he notices my stiff movements and slight limp as soon as I walk in the door.
“Too much fucking?” he asks. The nurse at his bedside scowls, which only makes Sway laugh. “Christ, I can’t wait to get out of here,” he says as soon as she leaves.
“They give you any idea when?”
“No, but I can start physical therapy soon.”
“Good.”
“Do you mean that?”
I stare at him for a second or two. “Yeah, I mean it, Sway. I didn’t want…I never wanted this. I was perfectly content where I was.”
“Well, I appreciate everything you’re doing, Z.”
His opinion might change in a minute.
I perform my regular sweep of the room for any listening devices or cameras that might have been planted. Fuck knows the room isn’t secure. When I’m satisfied, I clear my throat and move closer to the bed.
“You planning to kiss me?” he asks.
“Don’t be a dick.” I lean in and keep my voice low. “You’re in need of a new VP.”
“Aw, fuck,” he groans. “That asshole. He talked a good game when he wanted to sell you on something, but…”
Well, at least Sway isn’t taking the news too hard.
“What happened?” he asks.
“He’s been a problem for a while. First, the bullshit with the Vipers that got Teller shot.” I pause, not sure how much Sway will care about this next part. “I had an issue with how he was treating some of the girls. Not a way men who wear our patch should behave.”
A dark look crosses his face. Brief, but I catch it.
“What?”
“Serena?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I warned him before to leave her alone.” He shakes his head. “Pissed Tawny off because she assumed it meant I was fuckin’ her.”
“Were you?”
“Not in a long time.”
I barely restrain my eyeroll.
“Wasn’t just her though. I heard stuff from some of the other girls.”
Something like that wouldn’t be high on Sway’s priority list.
“You learn the most about a man’s character by watching how he treats people who can’t fight back.”
Sway stares at me.
“Men who don’t stand up for others aren’t fit to wear our patch.”
He dips his chin, acknowledging the sentiment, but not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing with it.
“Anyway, that’s not the worst of it. After that incident, he decided to go after my old lady.”
“Jesus Christ. You fuckin’ serious?”
“Dead.”
“She okay?”
“She’s fine. But he and I got into it.”
“As you’re allowed to do.”
I keep speaking as if he hadn’t interrupted. I don’t need Sway to assure me I did the right thing.
“Maybe he figured I’d still call a vote to strip his patch and he had nothing to lose, but he pulled a knife on me. Sliced up my leg pretty good.”
“What? Shadow?”
“Yup. I can show you the stitches if you need to see ‘em, but I gotta pull my pants down and that might look odd if any of the nurses walk in on us.”
“Sit down and keep your pants on, ya dick.”
I chuckle and ease back into one of the chairs.
“You end him right there?”
“No. I took it to the table. The votes to strip his patch was unanimous. We took the other vote after we…extracted some information from him. That one was unanimous too.”
He st
ares at me for a few seconds. “You didn’t have to put it to a vote.”
“Yes, I did. They didn’t vote me in, Sway. I was forced on them by Priest. I couldn’t make that call on my own.”
“Shit, brother.” He shakes his head. “Go on.”
“Rooster’s been digging into Shadow. He hadn’t brought it to the table yet because he didn’t have solid proof, but given what we were voting on, he told us he suspected Shadow was the one who shot you.”
“Fuck!” He squeezes his eyes shut.
“Something coming back to you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. What’d he say?”
“He came clean, brother.” I tip my chin in his direction. “About the shooting.”
Sway struggles to sit up. “He shot me?”
“Afraid so. Thought you weren’t doing enough to stand up to National and take over more territory.”
“Oh, fuck that. I should’ve sent him to take over New Jersey and let them kill him.”
“How’d you ever let him slip under the radar?”
“I had my doubts. Told you that before. I was trying to keep him close. Until I had something more solid to go on.” He touches his head. “Maybe too close.”
“Well, it’s done.”
“I hope you made it hurt.”
I tilt my head not really answering. “I want Rooster as VP. Going to put it up for a vote today.”
“I support that.”
I wasn’t really asking for Sway’s opinion or advice, but it’s good to know he agrees.
The door swings open and a fuckin’ ghost walks in.
“Sway?” she rasps. Her soft amber eyes meet mine and she shrinks back against the door.
This calmer, less made-up version of Tawny is fuckin’ eerie. Without the teased hair, pounds of makeup, tight clothes, and sky-high heels, she looks about twenty years younger than I remember.
“Z,” she finally says in the same dramatic, breathy voice I recognize. “You’re here with him. Good.”
“Where’ve you been?” I growl.
“Where I told her to be,” Sway says.
“What?” My jaw drops. I wasted a lot of time searching for her ass. “How?”
“It’s an agreement we made a long time ago. Anyone ever tried to take me out, she was supposed to go somewhere safe and wait for me to contact her.”
My eyes are so fucking wide, I probably look like a damn cartoon. “Jesus Christ, Tawny. I thought you mighta done it for a while.” Fuck, I’ll admit it to her face. She’ll probably take it as a compliment.
“Nah.” She runs the back of her hand over Sway’s bristly cheek and stares down at him with an affection I haven’t seen on her face in fifteen or more years. “I wouldn’t risk ruining this handsome mug. I’d shoot him in the dick, for sure.”
I can’t help it. After every crazy absurd thing in the last twenty-four hours, I sit back and laugh until my stomach hurts.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Z
I CAN’T DESCRIBE what it means that Lilly doesn’t hesitate to join me at the clubhouse again. After what went down with Shadow, I wouldn’t have blamed her if she told me to go fuck myself when I asked her to attend tonight’s party to celebrate Rooster being named our vice president.
Having her on my arm, unafraid to return to the clubhouse sends a powerful message to the rest of the club.
My woman won’t be intimidated by anyone or anything.
She has love and respect for the club. All qualities any president’s old lady needs to have.
“I’m fine, Z, really. You assured me Shadow isn’t here, so I’m not worried.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“The death grip you have on my hand says plenty.”
I ease up, placing my hand on her ass instead, and she chuckles. “Much more subtle, Mr. Frazier.”
“Watch your mouth, soon-to-be Mrs. Frazier.”
She stares at me for a second, then leans up and softly kisses my cheek without saying a word.
Inside, I’m not sure what the hell we’ve walked in on. The guys are wild, clearly needing to blow off steam after losing a brother. Even if that brother was a piece of shit, they’d shared a patch with him for a long time.
Here’s a painful truth. One of the reasons Rock, Wrath, and I decided early on to keep our club and rules tight upstate. The agony of being betrayed by a brother costs too much. To be forced to take a brother’s life stains your soul.
We take the club, its rules, and its consequences for breaking those rules seriously and only admit brothers who will do the same.
“How do you feel about flying out to California soon?” I ask after we stop at the bar and have been handed a couple drinks.
Lilly’s sinful lips wrapped around that tiny plastic straw have me thinking of something much more substantial she could wrap those beautiful lips around.
She lifts her gaze, meeting my hungry eyes, and teases her tongue over the end of the straw.
“You’re killing me.”
“What?” she asks innocently.
“Stop trying to distract me. I asked you a question.”
“I’d like that. Are you sure you can be away from the club right now?”
“Things should calm down. A couple days won’t hurt.”
“I want to bring Chance,” she says quickly. “So, he can say goodbye to the old place.”
“Was planning on it.”
She lets out a relieved breath. “Oh, good.” She presses her hand to her chest. “The thought of being away from him, even for a couple of days, was making me freak out a little.”
I laugh and pull her closer. “I wouldn’t do that.”
Lilly
“As my first act of faith in my new VP, I’m thinking of leaving you in charge for a few days.” Z raises his bottle and tips it in Rooster’s direction.
“Wait, what now?” Rooster feigns shock by clutching his chest.
Chuckling, I shift and tug the edge of my dress down.
“Stop fidgeting,” Z breathes against my ear. “You look hot.”
“I feel like my ass is hanging out. This dress is shorter than I realized. Or I’m wider than I thought.”
He slaps my ass, earning us a bunch of hoots and whip-crack noises from the brothers. “Don’t disrespect my old lady,” he says to me.
I’m still reeling from the shock of his hand on my ass in front of everyone and how much I liked it.
Since our display is probably the mildest thing that’s happened in this clubhouse tonight, the guys lose interest fast. Z takes my hand and leads me to the corner stool. Lala rushes over and sets a drink in front of me.
“Thanks, hun,” Z says.
She squares her shoulders and takes a deep breath.
Either Z makes her nervous or she’s trying to show off her tits.
“I know you don’t care what club girls think, but thank you for um, well, you know.” She darts away to help someone at the other end of the bar.
Z stands there, staring after her, and finally shakes his head.
“That was sweet.” I brush my hand over his arm. “Took her a minute to screw up the courage.”
“Am I that scary?”
“Not to me.”
“Nothing to thank me for,” he grumbles. “Not wanting to see girls hurt doesn’t make me a hero.”
“Maybe it does here.”
His presidential gaze slides over the crowd. “Maybe the herd needs more thinning,” he mutters.
“Z.” I rest two fingers on his cheek, slowly turning his head my way. He sweeps his gaze over me, lingering on the plunging neckline of my dress.
“I want to bury my face in your tits.”
I throw my head back and laugh.
“Hey,” he says more seriously. He runs his fingers through my hair pushing it over my shoulder. “It’s good to hear you laugh…after everything.”
“You always make me laugh.”
His hand drops to my knee, slowly tracin
g little circles. I shift, spreading my knees, opening myself up for him, and he wedges himself in tight. “What are you doing, Siren?”
“Me? I’m just sitting here having a drink with my man.” I pick up the drink, teasing the little straw with my tongue.
He slides his hand up and under my dress, heading straight for what I’m offering. I gasp and briefly close my eyes when he stops and runs his thumb over the hot line between my legs.
“Lilly.” His breath is a hot puff of air over my cheek. “You’re soaked.”
“Am I?”
“You want me to conduct a more thorough inspection?”
Holding back my laughter, I scoot to the edge of the stool, opening my legs wider. “I think you have to.”
He leans closer, pressing his forehead to mine. “Look at me.”
My gaze searches the room one more time. It’s so dark, I don’t think anyone even realizes we’re over here. Well, except the girls behind the bar, but they’re not going to interrupt us.
I meet his burning gaze and my pulse jumps. Under my dress, he slides his finger along the edge of my underwear, slowly working it away from my body.
“Oh,” I gasp as soon as his rough fingers make contact with my sensitive skin.
“Just what I suspected,” he murmurs. Beard stubble scratches my cheek as he drops kisses along my jaw. “Tilt your hips for me.”
I loop my arms around his neck and adjust the way I’m perched on the stool. His body is hard under my palms as I stroke his shoulders.
“That’s it,” he encourages. “Kiss me.”
Hunger stirs inside me. Not only for his body, but his heart and soul too. I sweep my tongue against his lip, and he groans, encouraging me. I open my mouth and he brushes his tongue against mine at the same time he slips a finger inside me.
“Oh,” I moan into his mouth from the exquisite intrusion. He doesn’t give me much time to adjust before adding a second finger. I moan even louder, biting my lip and squeezing my eyes shut. I dig my fingers into his shoulders as he slowly eases his fingers in and out of me.
“So wet.” His mouth kicks into a grin. “Who made your pussy so wet?”
Devilish man. He brushes his thumb over my clit and I can’t form an answer. What was the question?
“You,” I whisper. “Fuck.”
Zero Regret: Z and Lilly, Part Two (Lost Kings MC Book 13) Page 23
