by Clancy Nacht
Gideon drove to a quiet taqueria nearby and grabbed a bite to eat while he watched Lance’s dot. How would he convince Lance to meet the Saint?
Let her break it to him they were going to ruin Schrader. Gideon would have his hands full inventing an upside for Lance to seeing her to begin with.
A few tacos later, Lance’s pulsing dot turned onto Sixth Street. The office then, which meant the senator wasn’t with him. Worst case scenario, if he got Lance alone, he could kidnap him and take him to the Saint.
Gideon didn’t think it would come to that. He had a soft spot for Lance, but it was mutual.
After finishing his meal, Gideon paid the waitress and left a handsome tip. Gideon checked Lance’s location one last time, psyched himself up, and drove over.
To his surprise, two cars stood in the driveway. Gideon parked up the street and checked his phone for Corey’s location. Still in San Antonio.
Did Lance pick someone up on Grindr?
No. The extra car belonged to an employee. No doubt they had work to catch up on after Lance’s long absence from the office. Gideon checked his watch, eyed the entryway, and then slipped from his car and crept up to Lance’s building.
The door was unlocked, so Gideon let himself in. How like his initial visit, slinking around quietly in the dark. Fuzzy light spilled from an open door off the main hall, the same room in which Lance had once attacked him. Gideon slunk forward to peek around the corner.
Sitting across from Lance was the same attractive black woman he’d seen at the Saint’s. Lance was leaning forward, elbows on knees, speaking intensely.
Gideon pulled back and leaned flush against the wall. One of the Saint’s agents already worked for Lance? Why had she dragged Gideon into it?
He was in deeper than he’d thought.
The conversation in the room went on; the woman must be working the campaign too. “I agree that Felicia Brooks is probably the best candidate. You chose her for her optics and connections, but one thing your oppo research is unlikely to find—and it was buried pretty deep—is that she’s gay.”
Lance chuckled. The chair squeaked as if he’d sat back in it. “And here I was wondering if there were any Republican candidates still interested in sex with adult women.”
She exhaled as if stifling a laugh. “You have a very queer eye. If she’s your dream girl, I’d put her forward.”
Papers shuffled. “She doesn’t have to be perfect, just good enough.”
“As you say. If we’re good, I’m gonna head out. I think you have company anyway.”
“What?”
No point avoiding them if the woman knew he was there.
Gideon poked his head in the office. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You’re not.” Lance greeted Gideon with a decidedly sexy grin, as if genuinely pleased to see him. “Talia, this is, uh…”
Gideon shook Talia’s hand briefly. “Gideon. I work security. Pleased to meet you. You look familiar.”
Her eyes glimmered with mischief. “I get that a lot. I’m Talia; the pleasure is all mine.” She looked between them and smiled. “If you two don’t mind, I have some work to do.”
“Of course, of course.” Lance led the way out of the room. “We can talk in my office.”
Why hadn’t Talia brought him to the Saint herself? How long had they been working together? They seemed so simpatico.
Once Gideon was in Lance’s office with the door closed, he didn’t a chance to speak. Lance wrapped his arms around Gideon, pushed him up against the door, and kissed him hard.
“I missed you. Wasn’t sure if you got the message about where we were headed, but then Corey arrived without you.”
“I had to do some other business for Corey.” The coffee from Lance’s lips lingered on Gideon’s tongue.
Lance backed off to sit on the corner of his desk. “Does it have something to do with my dad taking over Corey’s job?”
“Something like that, yes.” Could it really be this easy?
Lance sighed. “I’m afraid that’s a lost cause. Once Dad decides to take over, the deal is done. Corey should learn to enjoy the ride.” The words sounded almost proud, but Lance wore a worried expression. “Who’d he have you meet with?”
“Someone else with a dog in the fight.” Gideon sank into one of the plush chairs in front of Lance’s desk. “Someone I’ve worked with and been employed by for many years.”
“I thought you were freelance.” Lance crossed his arms and peered down at Gideon.
“I am, but an association with someone like the Saint is necessary to foster the connections required to move through the underworld unmolested.”
Lance nodded absently. “What did he have to say?”
“She.” Gideon braced himself, clutching the armrests. “She wants to meet you.”
“That’s just what I need, another kingpin in my life.” Lance waved his arm dismissively. “Tell her I’m not interested.”
“That’s not how it works, Lance. She knows about you. She wants things that... I think you should meet with her.” Gideon stood, squaring his shoulders and using his height, as if that had ever intimidated Lance. “She’s not like Schrader.”
“I’m not sure that matters. More ruthless, less ruthless… I want out of it, not to add to my list of criminal acquaintances.”
Gideon stopped short. “Is that what you think I am?”
“That’s not what I said.” Lance backed behind his desk at Gideon’s outburst.
Of course that’s what Lance thought. That was who Gideon was, the career killer. Everyone’s favorite Guy. Still, it stung. He wanted Lance to like him, not think of him as a criminal.
“If you really want out, you should talk to her. If anyone has a way to get you away from Schrader…”
Lance chewed his lip. “You work for her. You’ll vouch for her?”
“I met her in person for the first time today.” Gideon desperately wanted to touch Lance, but he couldn’t make himself reach out. He felt dirty drawing Lance into this, though the Saint had never been dishonorable toward him. “But yes. I vouch for her. She won’t hurt you. Just hear her out.”
“If I refuse?” Lance raised a brow but without his usual sass. The way his body tensed, he appeared to be gearing up to fight.
“I’d have to find a way to take you in. Neither of us would like it, but she’s the boss.” Gideon stepped into Lance’s personal space, gaze trained on Lance’s perfect face.
Lance gently pushed him back. Though his gaze appeared suspicious, he smiled. “I’ll go. No need to drag me kicking and screaming. When?”
Now that Gideon was over the first hurdle, the prospect of actually taking him to the Saint filled him with unspeakable dread.
“Now.”
Chapter Fifteen
The trip to the penthouse had been filled with uncomfortable silences. Whether he meant to or not, Gideon had made Lance feel like a lamb to the slaughter. It seemed proper to play the part by sulking, even though ever breath, every shift of expression made Lance’s pulse race.
The building was newer and swank, one of the monstrosities the city was finally putting in, as if nailing the final coffin in what had been a charming college and music town into one of the skyline cities like Dallas and Houston had become.
In the room, Lance eyed the low set table, the small white couches, when a woman’s form came into view. Her hair was long, but her eyes…they were creased in ways he didn’t remember, her lips fuller, perhaps filled? But there was no mistaking her.
Before him was a ghost.
“Mom?” Lance’s legs trembled and then gave out. Fortunately, Gideon dove in to catch Lance before he dropped to the floor.
To Lance’s immense relief, Gideon looked as astonished as Lance felt as he half carried Lance to the tasteful couch.
“I thought Amelia was dead,” Gideon whispered.
Whether that was to himself or Lance was unclear, but Lance nodded as he recovered
himself. His mom followed them to the sitting area, doing her best imitation of a concerned woman. Or at least that’s how Lance took her tight smile and outstretched hand.
The situation felt distant, dreamlike. Deep down, this was confirmation of what he’d always suspected but never allowed himself to believe. Lance had never seen the body in the almost fifteen years since she’d supposedly died.
It was a long fucking time for her to be absent.
“Amelia Schrader is the Saint.” Gideon had taken a seat next to Lance, his eyes wide as he stared at her. “This whole time, it was you.”
Lance looked at Gideon’s awe-struck face, taking in the implication she’d had contact with him. Resentment stirred in his chest as he observed her fondness toward Gideon, the smile on her face.
“You were alone. Someone had to have your back.” She settled across from them in one of the wingback chairs.
“I was alone, too.” Lance knew how petulant he sounded, but he couldn’t make himself care. “His father raped you!”
“What?” Gideon gaped at Lance and then at Amelia.
“That’s what your father told you, Lance, but that’s not what happened.” Her expression turned steely. “We were having an affair, and your father killed Darwin. He would’ve killed me, too, but Darwin had made provisions for my escape.”
“Escape!” Lance stood. He had to get out of this room, away from her. He was willing to accept she was alive, that she’d escaped, but an affair?
She’d abandoned him of her own free will?
He’d longed for her his whole life, and here she was, just a few blocks from where he lived and worked. He spun toward the door, but his head grew light again, and he found himself back in Gideon’s grasp.
“You thought my dad raped your mom?” His face was pained, searching.
“And that he killed me.” Amelia glared at Lance. This wasn’t going as she’d hoped.
Grim satisfaction filled Lance, because this was hardly the reunion he’d envisioned either.
Lance wrenched free of Gideon’s grip and held onto the back of the couch for support. “That’s what I was told.” He looked meaningfully at his mother. “There was no one to tell me different. It’s not like I knew the man.”
Gideon withdrew and looked between them again. “He wasn’t a rapist.”
“You might be surprised by what your parents are capable of.” Bitterness filled Lance’s words.
“Apparently.” Gideon put his hand on Lance’s arm and guided him down to resume his seat. “Just hear her out.”
It was more of a command than a suggestion. Gideon looked angry, though Lance wasn’t sure at whom.
“I thought you’d be happy I was alive.” Amelia smoothed her pants down her long legs, avoiding eye contact.
“I thought I would be, too.” Was he happy she was alive? At the moment he wasn’t sure how he felt about anything. “I had so many dreams of you, that you returned to me, that your death had been a big mix-up. I’d feel such peace and happiness that you were there. And then I’d wake and reality would crush me. All these years, you could’ve said something.”
“You were bait on a hook. You think your father let you do your own thing because he’s a good man?” She leaned in and put her hand on Lance’s knee.
Lance recoiled from the touch. “No, I never thought that.”
“But you didn’t question why he let you go.”
“I questioned that every day, but what good was that going to do?” Lance turned his knees toward Gideon, who was regarding him stone-faced. “I was lied to by everyone at every turn. You think I didn’t ask about seeing your body? About saying goodbye? I did!”
She sat up, folding her arms as she nodded solemnly. “You have too much of your father in you. I should have anticipated your rage.”
“Rage? You haven’t seen rage from me.” Lance’s stomach turned. Was he really that much like his father?
No. If he were like Schrader, he would’ve brought a gun or had a team. He would’ve been able to express actual rage.
“I’m hurt, Mom.”
That word probably meant nothing to her.
“I’m sorry, honey. But I’m not the one who hurt you. That was your father.” Her jaw was set; she clearly refused to acknowledge that Lance had questions.
She obviously expected him to be so overwhelmed with relief at finding her alive that he wouldn’t care about fifteen years spent lost, scared, and wanting his mom. “You two are like gods and monsters, using me as a pawn between you. I can’t even keep track of who has hurt me or why.”
Her eyes widened with fury. Clearly, she wasn’t used to being talked to like this. If anyone was like Schrader, it was her, but it seemed impolitic to point that out.
Gideon crept closer to Lance and put an arm across him as if he was a child in a car coming to a sudden stop. Whatever was about to take place, it seemed as if Gideon wanted to shield him from it. The gesture touched Lance. He hadn’t had time to wonder what Gideon would make of this family drama.
Her eyes narrowed. “I can’t believe you’re taking his side.”
“Make no mistake, Mom. I’m taking my side. Someone has to.” It wasn’t until the words were out of his mouth that he realized she might not be talking to Lance.
Pain struck Lance so hard he could barely breathe. Just how unloved was he?
He clutched Gideon’s arm and fought back tears that had eluded him for years. There was no point feeling sorry for himself. This situation wasn’t new; he’d just been ignorant.
But Gideon was here and he stood firm with Lance. The shock of Amelia’s reveal and rejection was blunted somewhat by the realization that at least someone cared about him, not just at him.
Gideon stared at Amelia, face devoid of expression. “Tell him what you want.”
She snorted. “I think he’s disinclined to give me anything right now.”
Lance clung to Gideon like a child, but the other man didn’t seem to mind. “Just tell me.”
Amelia frowned. “I’ve risked a lot to let you know I’m alive, Lance. I truly wish this hadn’t happened this way. I wasn’t given a lot of choice. But I didn’t abandon you.”
Lance closed his eyes. “I can’t hear that right now. I imagine you as some creepy shadow like dad is. Both of you tracking my movements and mistaking that for concern, like your preservation of my life was somehow a great sacrifice on your part. But I was alone.”
“I know, honey. I’m so sorry for that.” Her voice was soft, placating, but there was something false about it. As if after she said she was sorry, she wanted to say, “but…” and let another avalanche of unforgiveable bullshit fall. And yet, hadn’t he always dreamed of having his mother back?
“Are you?”
When he opened his eyes, her head was tilted, face tracked with tears. “I am. I did what I must to stay alive. Would you rather I’d died?”
“No.” The word seemed to come as much a relief to her as it was to him. He released Gideon’s arm, and Gideon slid it behind Lance in a sideways hug. He too seemed to relax. Where the touch had been protective before, now it seemed affectionate.
Lance had never been more grateful for someone standing by him, maybe because no one ever had in this way. Emotions welled up, but this was not the time for that.
Amelia watched them, a look of longing on her face before she averted her gaze. “It was too dangerous to contact you, but Talia was there to keep you safe.”
“Talia.” Beyond a stab of betrayal, Lance felt stupid.
Talia had always been too good for him and his organization. Of course she’d been a plant.
“That’s why she said she could get me out of Schrader’s clutches.”
Amelia nodded before she spoke. “Yes. I want to free you from him, to free both of us from his clutches, permanently.”
Lance took a deep breath. This was what she was leading up to. What else could it have been? “I’d be lying if I didn’t admit a big part of me i
s inclined to kill him.”
“You can be angry with me all you want for staying away all these years, but that was his doing. He lied to you about me. He’s forcing you into a relationship with that politician when it’s clear you love someone else.”
Gideon tensed as Lance looked toward the safety of the balcony. How fucking embarrassing. Shame scalded him, almost too much to bear between being acknowledged as a whore and having his feelings for Gideon overstated right in front of him.
If it even was an overstatement. Lance didn’t know anymore. “I can’t defend him, but I’m not a murderer.”
She reached out to Lance, and this time he didn’t recoil. “I wouldn’t ask you to strike the final blow. I know you’re not a murderer. Believe it or not, neither am I. But this insult to you, to me, to Darwin, to Gideon… it can’t go unanswered.”
Lance shook his head. “But killing him…”
She gave a wan smile. “Even if you don’t believe in vengeance, Lance, he’s amassed so much power. More than you know.”
“As have you.” Lance eyed her hand on his knee and then covered it with his own. She turned hers over, and for the first time in a decade and a half, he held his mother’s hand.
“In defense of my life, Lance. That’s all.” She slipped from her chair, knelt in front of him, and pressed the back of his hand to her soft cheek. “I’ve missed you so much, my baby.”
Lance whimpered and pulled her in to hug her tight. She smelled of sandalwood, just as he’d remembered. He fought the urge surrender, to let out a lifetime of repressed emotion. As much as he loved her, he knew better by now than to trust her. Still, it felt good to hold her and know she was alive.
“I’ve missed you, too.”
His shoulder grew wet with her tears, and he clutched her tighter. His defenses were rapidly eroding until he caught sight of Gideon watching them.
The prism of jealousy with which he’d briefly regarded Gideon shifted colors, uniting them in the brotherhood of Schrader pawns.
Gideon hadn’t known who he was working for. Amelia hadn’t chosen him by preference but out of convenience, perhaps even expendability. Maybe part of her saw him as victim to her affair with Darwin and truly wanted to help, but she’d allowed Gideon to become an assassin, to live in the shadows.
