I turn and watch him sleeping next to me. He still needed a few days rest for his knee, which he wasn’t happy about, but he did as he was told and now he seems better. There is no limp. He has a bruise next to his eye where a stray punch knocked him and another dark bruise on his chin. The pillow is hiding the other bruises and scrapes on his right side.
We all look like we’ve been through hell. I’ve been knocked on my ass more times than I care to remember. Not to mention, I’ve slipped on the hard ground outside on my own plenty. The rain has barely let up since we returned, and the cold weather has been brutal. Even now, Charlie and I are wearing three layers in bed. The fire is on constantly and the boys have had to bring in more wood six times in the past two weeks. We’ve even started to bring our plates into the lounge area, sitting on the ground or couch in front of the fire to keep warm. I’ve taken a liking to coffee, not because of the taste or the caffeine, but because it’s hot and comforting to hold in my hands.
Charlie frowns in his sleep and I lightly run my fingers along the side of his face, feeling the warmth come off his skin. I wait until he looks relaxed again and then move out of our bed. I miss its warmth immediately, but I know we’ve slept in and need to begin our training for the day.
I move into the bathroom, deciding to let him keep sleeping a little longer as I quickly do my business. I marvel at the silence in the cabin and wonder if everyone decided to sleep in today.
I walk down the stairs and then add a couple logs when I notice the fire nearly dying out. I move them about until the flames rise and lick them up before stepping away in search of food. My fitness isn’t the only thing that is improving. My appetite has fully returned, along with everyone else’s. Our food intake has been extreme and I know we’re almost out of the money Rose was able to steal. I don’t relish the thought that we might need to steal more.
I open the fridge door and quickly scan it. We’ve gotten more groceries yesterday, and it’s full, a rare sight. I take out the orange juice and then pour myself a bowl of cereal without the milk. I dislike soggy cereal.
I’m about to take my bowl out to the couch in front of the fire when I see one of Rose’s dresses folded neatly on the breakfast bar. On top is a piece of paper. I stride over to it, curious at what it is. This wasn’t there last night.
There is writing on the page and I pick it up to read,
‘Zoe, the rest of us have gone for a drive to pick up supplies for our mission. We’re going to have to spread out what we’re getting in case stores are being monitored. With that in mind, you and Charlie will now have the place to yourselves until tomorrow. Use your time wisely. I want you to have this dress since I think it might end up coming in handy. Have fun. Rose. Xx’
I hold the dress in my hand and let the bottom fall out so I get a clear look at it. There is a gaping hole where the material should be to make up the back of the dress. It’s a tight, form fitting dress, with what looks like two pieces of material moving up over the breasts, curling around the shoulders and moves back into the material, still leaving the back exposed. There is a long slip that runs along the neckline and I assume when that is on you can see a lot of cleavage. The dress is a teal color. I’m not really sure if it will suit me.
My nerves creep back up looking at it. I know what Rose is referring to in her note. We haven’t spoken about sex again, but she must know nothing has happened with Charlie yet. How does she know? Is it obvious?
Charlie and I haven’t spoken about sex at all to each other. I’m not sure if he wants me to be the one to initiate it. From the look of this dress, Rose is giving me the opportunity to start something.
I, of course, want to be closer to Charlie. I care about him more and more every day. Even given how tired we’ve been, we still talk every night. Usually we don’t last very long before we give in to our exhaustion, yet we still talk. Sometimes we kiss, other times I feel so taken in the moment that anything could happen, but typically, when my thoughts move to where we can go, he pulls away and wishes me good night.
I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do, but footsteps approaching force me to quickly fold the dress back up and place it back down on the table.
“Morning.” Charlie rubs his eyes and half stumbles over towards me. He leans down and kisses me gently on the lips before making his way over to the fridge.
“Morning.” I smile, watching him grab the milk and pour himself a generous amount into a bowl, then adding what looks like half a box of cereal. All the boys eat twice as much as Rose and me. I have no idea how.
As soon as Charlie finishes eating, he’s already talking about our next meal. It seems like he’s always hungry.
“Where is everyone?” He fishes in the drawer for a spoon and pulls one out, using his hip to shut the draw. He moves towards the lounge and I follow him, taking my bowl with me and leaving the dress behind.
“They went out to get supplies. Rose left me a note saying they’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Her and Dean?”
“They all left. It’s just us.”
“For the whole night?” Charlie raises his eyebrow and I try to decipher his expression. Is he worried or excited?
“Yeah.”
“Then I have one question for you. Zoe Holloway, will you do me the honor of accompanying me on a date tonight?” Charlie gives me his full attention and sits his already half empty bowl on his lap.
“You want to have a date?” I smile in relief.
“This might be the only time we get to have one. I can cook you dinner, we have an open fire and the place to ourselves; what could be more romantic?” Charlie’s eyes alight with excitement. It’s hard not to feel the same, seeing him so happy. It would be the perfect reason to wear Rose’s dress. A date with Charlie. My heart rate accelerates and a bout of nerves hits me.
“Do we meet here or shall I expect you to pick me up?” I joke, trying to calm myself down. The only difference about tonight is it’ll only be the two of us, no need to feel nervous or over-think things.
“I’m a directly to your door kind of guy. I’ll see you at seven sharp.” Charlie winks at me and then takes hold of his bowl again to resume eating.
***
The day drags on as we silently go along with our usual business. Charlie tries to help me with my fight training, but I can’t bring myself to hurt him. I wonder, at the beginning, if this will turn into something playful, but Charlie is determined to have me up to scratch and able to defend myself. We work on it until past lunchtime before we agree to take a break.
I decide to end my training with a run and Charlie cuts up more wood for the fire. I’m mesmerized watching him do that for a while before I have to look away or risk never having the will to take my eyes off him again. I’m constantly reminded by how good looking Charlie is. He’s fit, tall and solid. It’s impossible to not feel safe in his arms. His dark hair and tanned skin makes him look good in anything he wears, even though he is slightly pale from not seeing the sun for a while, the confidence he emits is completely alluring.
I walk into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I’m not so gaunt looking as I had been when I first arrived here, but I still look like I could use a big meal, or eight. It seems like, even given my bigger appetite, all the exercise is making it harder for me to keep the weight on. I’m easily fifteen pounds lighter than what I had been when Dana was alive and I don’t think the lighter look suits me. I don’t feel attractive and the bones that I can see make me feel ugly. What can Charlie ever see in me? My skin is so pale I could be a ghost, my body incredibly average and plain it’s painful. Why does he like me?
I turn away from the mirror and hop in the shower. It’s amazing how fast the day has ended. Charlie has banned me from the kitchen an hour ago as he got to work cooking. I have no idea what I’ll be eating, but I know it’ll be better than anything I could have cooked.
I get out of the shower and my eyes drift to Rose’s dress. It’ll look awful on me,
I know, but I still reach out and try it on. I look at myself in the mirror and am surprised at how easily I’m able to pull it off. Never before have I worn a dress that isn’t safe and boring. This dress looks nothing like safe. I glance down to see the low cut slip leading down the middle and try not to freak myself out. My back is open. I’m unsure if I should wear it. Is it too over-the-top?
I look at my jeans and t-shirt lying on top of the pile of freshly washed clothes sitting on the floor. I don’t really have a lot of options for clothes I can wear. I haven’t put a bra on with this dress since I don’t have one that can be hidden, nor do I have any tape. I touch the edges of the dress to feel how safe they are and then move myself around, seeing if the two bits of material covering my breasts moves, they don’t. I appear to be safe from any accidental flashes.
A knock at the door makes me jump. I don’t have a choice now; I’ve run out of time. I walk barefooted to the door and take a deep breath to psych myself up before I open it. Charlie’s mouth literally drops open as he takes me and the dress in. I silently thank Rose for lending it to me.
“Hey.” Charlie’s voice is quiet, like he has to pull it out from the back of his throat.
“Hi.” I start to feel nervous when Charlie continues staring. “So what’s for dinner?”
Charlie quickly shakes his head and then turns away from me, heading over to the stairs. “I cooked us spaghetti.”
I rush to keep up with him as he moves quickly into the kitchen. When I walk in I see two plates with steaming hot food next to each other on the breakfast bench. He has found a candle which is now lit and sitting between our plates while the rest of the kitchen is in darkness.
I sit opposite Charlie, wishing this wasn’t going so awkwardly.
“This looks great.” I pick up my fork and move the sauce around my plate. I can see he’s added bacon, zucchini and other delicious ingredients. It smells amazing.
“Thanks. You look… I mean, that dress is… I wasn’t expecting…” Charlie looks away and I think, even in this dim light, I can see that his cheeks have gone red.
“Well, I thought I should try and look nice for our first date.”
“You succeeded.” Charlie grins and my heart jumps unexpectedly at seeing it.
I feel Charlie’s eyes on me for most of the meal, and I wonder if he’s thinking about the same thing I am. Getting us both naked as quickly as possible after dinner.
I help clear the plates when we’re finished, even though Charlie protests that I should leave them, and then we make our way back out by the fire. Charlie has left the kitchen door open to let the warm air in to where we were sitting, but now he shuts it behind us. We sit down on the couch and I lean into Charlie. The warmth of the flames surrounds me, but it’s nothing compared to the warmth that flares through me as he moves his hand along my exposed back. I close my eyes, feeling every part of his body that is touching me, craving for more.
He leans down close to my ear, his whisper gives me shivers. “You’re driving me crazy here. I’m finding it incredibly hard to resist you.”
“Then don’t.”
“I have to.” He moves back from me, but I follow him so my lips are still close to his.
“Why?”
“If I don’t, then I won’t be able to stop myself from doing this.” As he speaks he moves closer to me and our lips connect hungrily together. Soon, there is no way I’ll be able to separate from him, even if I wanted to.
We kiss madly until we roll off the couch and hit the ground hard. He pulls me up to my feet and, without separating, lifts me up. I’m grateful for the slits along the bottom of the dress; they enable me to easily wrap my legs around his waist. He grips ahold of my ass as we move towards the stairs, easily carrying me up to the top before slamming me into our door.
I move my hand behind me, desperately trying to find the door handle. His lips move from mine before torturing my neck. I moan loudly, loving the tingles that spread through my body at his touch.
Finally the door opens and we fall through, both nearly falling over in the process. Charlie stands me back on the ground and quickly throws his shirt off over his head. His hands find their way to the shoulders of my dress, where he easily pulls them down over my arms, slipping the dress off me. I’m left before him in just my panties.
I pull at his pants which come off him easily then we step over them, falling onto the bed. I move over him so that I have a leg on either side of his hips. His hands roam my exposed body, causing me to shiver from his heated touch.
I move my hands down along his chest, loving the feel of him under me. I lightly scratch him, smiling when he moans. I can tell how much he loves me doing that just from him being under me. I make it to the edge of his boxer shorts as his hands pull at my underwear. I even hear them tear, making my excitement level go into overdrive. With only just being on top of him I’m already panting.
I pull harder on his boxer shorts, ready to rip them if I can’t move them off him. Then, he freezes under me. I feel him tense before he moves his hands away from my underwear and grips my hips tightly. Before I can ask him what is wrong, he lifts me off him, moves me to the side and then he stands, taking several steps away from me and averting his eyes from looking anywhere near me. His breathing is heavy and I watch his chest rise and fall in quick spurts. His boxer shorts reveal how into this he had just been, but that doesn’t stop the cold and rejection from overwhelming me.
“Charlie?” My voice sounds more like a squeak.
“I can’t do this.” He still doesn’t look at me.
“What’s wrong?” I sit up, moving to the edge of the bed, telling myself that this isn’t happening. Charlie isn’t rejecting me. There is a rational explanation for this.
I reach out and touch his arm, but he flinches away like I’ve burned him.
“Don’t touch me,” he hisses and then rushes into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Silence overwhelms me and I forget to breathe, dizziness, my only reminder that I’ll pass out if I don’t let oxygen in. He’s rejected me. He doesn’t want to sleep with me. And what a spectacular rejection that had been. I was throwing myself at him, he had me almost completely naked and then he ran away! What the hell?
I quickly pull the dress back on, unable to think clearly in this room, and then rush out. I feel embarrassed and stupid for throwing myself at Charlie like that. I run down the stairs, missing a few steps in my haste and nearly falling down them. I run to the front door and sprint out of the cabin. The cold slaps me, but it helps to sober me up. I run for a couple minutes down the trail before I collapse next to a tree and hug my legs to my chest. My feet are frozen from touching the cold ground, but I don’t care. Rejection is shooting through me and tears burst down my face. It’s the first night it hasn’t rained, but I wish it was. I want to wash off this rejection.
Did I do something wrong? How am I supposed to face him again? How can I ever look him in the eye? He doesn’t want me. He doesn’t want us. Why didn’t my instincts protect me? Why are the only instincts I get when I’m with him good?
“Zoe?” Charlie’s voice sounds hesitant. I quickly wipe at my eyes to get rid of any trace of tears. He’s already rejected me tonight, no need for him to see me crying, too.
“I want to be alone.” My voice breaks, and I hate that I don’t sound stronger.
“Can we please talk about what happened? I’m sorry I—”
“Please, Charlie, just leave me alone.” I don’t want to hear whatever pathetic excuse he has.
“It’s freezing out here. Please come inside.” When he places a warm jacket over my frozen shoulders, the warmth is too inviting to shrug it off like I want to.
I stand up on my own and wince when my bare feet step over the small sharp rocks and prickly plants. I hadn’t noticed these when I first came out here.
“I’m sorry. You have to understand I wanted more than anything not to stop us before.”
“Weird
way of showing it,” I snap at him.
“I had to. If we had gone any further I know without a doubt that I would have caused a blackout. That can’t happen. We’re safe here. This place has to stay that way,” Charlie speaks determinedly.
“You were about to cause a blackout?” I’m thrown by that comment.
“I lo—I like you, Zoe, a lot. I find you irresistible and I can’t let myself get carried away, not now at least. Not until this is over.”
“But I thought that was just what we said to Stan and Martha, and that it isn’t true?” I fear he is just making up an excuse for me.
“I can kiss you without setting anything off, but I don’t know how I’ll react to us having sex. Sometimes, even when we kiss, I have to pull away because I can sense I’m about to lose control.”
We make it to the cabin and I find no relief when I walk in. I shiver, even though the room continues to be warm from the roaring fire, as I move up the stairs.
“We’re not using power right now. This place is completely shut off and no one is around us. What would you turn off?”
“I’ve shut off the entire city of Houston before. I don’t know how far this would spread. We have to be careful. I could set a blackout off and not even know it. We would be completely vulnerable and not realize.”
“What about that woman you slept with? You didn’t mention your location wasn’t safe anymore.” I hate bringing up Heather, I hate that I have her to even bring up.
“I don’t know. I have no memory of what happened that night. Maybe I was so incapacitated that nothing could have happened with the power? Trust me when I say having sex with you would feel completely different. I want you, Zoe. I’ve never wanted someone more in my life.”
We make it to our room and I find the same feeling of rejection overwhelm me as I take in the sight of the bed, despite the words Charlie’s just said.
“Zoe?” He is obviously expecting an answer from me. The truth is that I don’t know what to say. Is it just a lie? Is he just trying to make things less awkward between us?
Taken By Force (Taken Trilogy Book 2) Page 24
