“Well, then might I suggest you stay very far away from The Sloppy Pelican because he’s one-third owner and a cheap one at that.”
“Cheap?” Her neatly penciled-in brow hikes into her forehead, and I can’t help but notice the fact her fingernails are sharpened to long pointy tips with the intent and threat to emasculate. “How so?” It sounds as if adding a monetary allowance to Axel’s worth is exactly how he might rid himself of this Prada wrapped parasite.
And then just as quick as my anger reared its ugly head in her honor, the next hour turns into a bona fide coffee klatch as if we were old friends. I can’t help it, though. In my defense, I miss Raven. Not the texting version that accuses me of kinking up the sheets with her big bro, but the real deal, the in-the-flesh version that gasps and sputters with laughter the way Lex here has been doing right along with me. Have I mentioned she’s hanging on to every word with bated breath? Lex has successfully managed to scratch a friendship itch I didn’t even know I had.
“And that, my dear Lexy Poo, has been my life for the last three weeks.”
Her lids hang low as that smile is wiped right off her face. “Call me Lexy Poo again and they would have been the final three weeks of your life.”
“Fair enough.”
“So, what should I call you? Evie?” Her brows twitch with amusement. Lex has a cutting beauty. You can tell from one look she’s a take-no-prisoners, hang-’em-by-the-balls kind of girl, and a part me has always admired a self-reliant badass like Lex. Basically, I think we all want to be Lex when we grow up.
“My name is Harlow—but Low is just fine.”
“Does Raven know you have the hots for her brother?”
“Would you shush?!” I swat her over the arm while scanning the place for signs of Levi. “It’s sort of a new revelation, and no, she doesn’t know, nor will she. She specifically instructed me to stay away from him.”
“Pft. That’s reverse psychology at its finest.”
“Oh no, Raven means it. Did all that BS that went down between him and his soon-to-be-ex not register? He really has had a shit ride. I can see why she wants to protect him.”
Her lips twitch to and fro as if she were struggling to tie a cherry stem into a knot. “I have an older brother—a far too protective older brother so I totally get it. You don’t need to tell me how siblings can get in the way of things.” Her gaze cuts to the floor a moment, and I speculate he had something to do with the great demise of Axel and Lex. “So, what’s the baby’s name?” She shudders as if glad to change the topic.
“Maxwell—named after their dead father. It’s the exact name poor Levi wanted to gift his first child, and the snake used it anyway.”
She scoffs at the audacity. “Cheating snake.” She glares at the floor again, and now I’m really wondering what the hell happened between her and Axel. She shudders again. “But, regardless, I love the name. She’s got an X in there somewhere, so already she’s a winner in my book. I happen to have three of them.” Her face lights up with wicked delight. “Alexa Ximena Maxfield.” She takes a mock bow. “I’m a triple X threat.” Clearly, she’s pinned a lot on this alphabetic achievement.
“You’re a threat, all right. So, what’s the deal with you and this guy Axel?” I gasp upon the revelation. “Oh my God! You dated the poor boy because he had an X in his name, didn’t you?”
She swings a guilty look to the ceiling. “That may have started the crazy train, but believe you me, I was quick to forgive the fact his last name is Collins with no X in sight.”
“Wow. An alphabetic grievance at its highest—you have a heart of gold.” I’m guessing more like coal. “But you’re quite literally exes at the moment. And I’m just going to be upfront with you. If you dumped the dude because of his last name, that makes you clinically insane.”
“Oh, be quiet.” She shakes out that long crimson mane of hers, and for a moment I have a deep sense of follicular envy. “We’re not together because it’s none of your business.”
“Hey. I just spilled my entire life out before you like tipping over a jar of marbles. Have I mentioned how much I hate those silver bracelets you gifted me a few weeks back?”
She cringes. “Okay, I’ll throw you a bone, but that needs to be the end of it. I’m a firm believer in speaking no evil, and believe me, the universe loves to unleash all of the ripe hell that escapes my mouth.” She glares at the sky a moment. “Axel and I dated—undergraduate. Everything was going great until senior year.” Her lips swell, and her eyes gloss over in an instant. She twirls her cup between her fingers, her gaze is set straight into the past as she vegges out while looking through the table. “And that’s it.” She perks right back up. “I’m over it. Who knows, I might even walk into The Sloppy Pelican one day to prove it.” Her left eye twitches as if contesting the idea.
“Something tells me you won’t.”
She leans in with her sharp, expensive beauty. “Something tells me you know me too well.”
Something tells me I’ve just got a standby bestie.
Lex and I exchange numbers, and I run out the door to work my shift at The Sloppy Pelican. I take my sneakers off in the car and exchange them for my Louboutins. I’ve discovered what every waitress worth her salt already knows—a little cleavage and legs-to-there garner me three times the tips than a turtleneck and wedges.
Nobody said life would be fair or comfortable.
Saturday afternoon, I’m dancing around the kitchen, whipping a batch of chocolatey goodness while blaring “Key Largo”. Brody, the manager—the second partner in The Sloppy Pelican has kindly gifted me the evening shifts, otherwise known as the “show me the money” shift because it yields a ton more in tips than the lunchtime rush.
I spin around with the spatula positioned as a mic while I belt out the lyrics into its chocolate-coated goodness and stop cold when I spot Levi standing in the doorway with his arms folded tight. His hair is damp from the shower, his chest is as wide as the doorway, his legs are parted in a defiant stance, and it gives him a bad boy appeal I’ve always been such a sucker for. His lids are low as if I’ve somehow offended him and he suddenly wants to turn me over on his knee and teach me a lesson. Okay, so that last part might be wishful thinking on my part, but holy hell, the man is hot, and right now, internally, so am I.
“You looking for a fight, or are you just constipated?” I dot the tip of his nose with the spatula, and he wipes it off and licks his finger clean. My God, the look on his face while he sucks down on that finger. All sorts of lewd thoughts kick-start through my brain as I envision him sucking down on a lot more delicate things, and I’d gladly dip them into brownie batter to entice him to do it. I’ve been trying my hardest to deny my budding crush on the six foot three linebacker, blue-eyed, black-haired stud that my so-called best friend has decided is a no-fly zone. If she really loved me, she’d land him on my bed naked with a big fat bow over that package I’m hoping he’ll gift me.
“I’m looking for a date.” He frowns as if he’s not. It’s only then I note that he’s dressed to the nines, sort of—dark inky jeans, dress shirt, and a tie are more or less his go-to wardrobe staples.
“Good luck with that. I’ve got another twenty minutes.” I tick my head toward the oven. I’ll admit that Levi’s state-of-the-art culinary devices have me as hot under the panty line as he does. What girl wouldn’t want to flirt with a virtually unused Wolf oven in her spare time? Not to mention with its owner, although no thanks to Raven I’ve been forced to abstain from that little flirtatious detail.
“Perfect. That’s enough time to get dressed. We don’t need to be there until five.”
“We?” I step in close to Levi Masterpiece, and the scent of his sweet wood-infused cologne renders me useless. “Where pray tell are we headed, Boobear?” Please say my bedroom. Please say my bedroom. I get the feeling Levi Masterson is the type that would bark out orders, and I promise you, I am the type who would leap to each one.
“My mothe
r’s.” He closes his eyes for a moment. “They christened Maxie a couple of hours ago, and she’s guilting me into it.”
I suck in a breath. “I’d swat you over the chest with this spatula, but I don’t want to ruin your christening attire. Yes, you should go! My God, you should have gone hours ago and brought me with you! And poor Raven. She’s missing everything.” I do my best to hustle. I tame my hair into submission, paint my face in record speed, and slip into a nice, tight, white dress I’ve been saving for a special somewhat chaste occasion. Lastly, I slip into a pair of pale silver heels that Raven herself lent me, and I happened to never-on-purpose give back. I speed back to the kitchen just in time to pull the brownies out and hit the kill switch on “Key Largo”.
“I’m ready,” I pant up at Levi who’s standing there with a devilish gleam in his eyes.
“You look beautiful.”
My face heats a thousand times over, and my body breaks out into a sweat. I’ve been called a lot of things by boys in my life, but beautiful isn’t one of them. Our eyes lock for a strangulating moment as my heart does its best to knife its way from my chest. I’m pretty sure a date at the morgue isn’t quite what Levi had in mind, so I make the first move toward the door. Another second alone with him might have led to a myocardial infarction that would have sent me to heaven and not in the way I’ve been fantasizing that he would.
Levi drives us out of Hollow Brook Hills and into Hollow Meadows, another ritzy area that borders Hollow Brook. All signs of humble houses are long gone as we enter the arena of the mega mansions, row after exasperatingly long row. I knew Raven came from money, but I had no idea she sprung from royalty or at least as close as you can get in North Carolina. We pull up to a circular drive with a bevy of different, pricey rides all parked in a row. Levi leads me in and takes up my hand as soon as we walk through the oversized glass doors leading into the palace.
“You mind?” He winces through a smile, but his touch warms me straight to my toes, and I would pay him all of the spare change I’m currently deficient in to have him hold me like this all night long.
“Evie would be pissed if you didn’t.” I nudge my shoulder playfully into his.
Levi leads us to the back of the marbled-floored, limestone-walled ode to all things wealthy home. If the foyer, the grand sweeping double stairwell, the oversized family portrait—Raven’s hair looks impeccable by the way, Levi and Chip look startlingly handsome per usual, and my heart goes pitter-patter for the both of them because I can’t tell which one is which—anyhoo, if none of the architectural details of the home gave it away, it’s clear the Mastersons are exorbitantly wealthy. It’s all a bit over-the-top in the luxury department, but it screams old money, and now that’s something new money can’t buy.
Levi stops us shy of the rear yard, where dozens of people mill around swilling champagne flutes in their hands and noshing on what looks like shrimp the size of your hand, and suddenly the pescetarian in me is very glad I came.
Levi steps in close, his chest searing over mine, and I can feel his minty breath blowing softly over me as he pumps out a dry smile.
“We’ll be quick,” he whispers it hot over my lips, and my heart implodes on impact. I’m betting Levi isn’t quick when it comes to the important things. He lifts my chin gently until I’m snared into his gaze. “In and out.”
That tender spot between my legs gives way to a spasm, because holy hell—a little in and out sounds like something I would very much appreciate right about now.
“In and out,” I whisper breathy without meaning to. I give a quick glance at the patio and spot Chip—handsome as he might be he’s still a grade A asshole in my book. I see Bonnie, Raven’s lookalike mother, holding the baby whose christening gown might just double as her wedding dress one day—it’s that long. Just past her sits a stunning brunette with full, vampy red lips, eyelids smoldering to perfection that alert me to the fact she knows how to wield a mean makeup brush. It’s not easy to pull off that look and not come out on the other end of it looking like a raccoon. “Who’s the girl next to your mother?” Normally, I wouldn’t divert the attention of someone I’m interested in away from me, but let’s face it, Levi is basically off-limits and I’m curious as to why that smoky-eyed beauty queen just took the baby and shoved her under that expensive blouse of hers. Bonnie seems completely content to let the supermodel smother her grandchild.
“That’s Mer.” He grunts and so do I.
“Are you sure that’s Mer? What happened to the girl I met at the hospital?” I stop shy of adding the fact Mer is supposed to be plain as a pancake both on the maternity bed and off. Crap. It looks like she chose to forgo a bagful of Sephora’s goodies on D-Day and completely tricked me into believing she wasn’t any competition in the least.
“I’m positive.” His fingers glide over my back, warm and commanding, but I’m still stuck on the fact I too have been duped by his shady ex.
“Oh, wow.” It comes out slow and catatonic. “She’s stunning.” I’m not sure why, but the urge to claw at her feels like a real one. It’s as if she’s pulled the beauty queen card when I wasn’t looking, and suddenly it’s me that feels plain as paper.
Levi wraps his strong arms around my waist. His Caribbean blue eyes needle into mine. “Honey, she’s not the stunning one—you are.”
My stomach squeezes tight when he says those words, and all I can do is blush like a silly schoolgirl.
He touches his forehead to mine a brief moment and sets off a wave of lust in me. “Trust me, you are every bit beautiful inside and out. She doesn’t have a thing on you.” He ticks his head to the side wistfully as we make our way out among the masses.
Bonnie and Chip scuttle right over, and we exchange niceties.
“You’re still here!” Bonnie’s eyes grow wild as if this were a feat. “Outside of Meredith, Levi hasn’t had a steady girl. If I see you again, I’ll expect an engagement ring.” She gives my nose a playful tap while chortling up a storm.
“The sooner, the better.” I wrap an arm around Levi and bat my lashes up at him expectantly. He’s built like a monster truck, and with those pearly whites and baby blues, I’d say yes on the spot before ever taking this bad boy for a test drive. I’m guessing he knows exactly how to use his ample equipment and handle mine. Come to find out, underneath that rugged, grumpy exterior he’s pretty much a softie. I’m even betting he’d make sure I got to the finish line first.
“What’s this?” Meredith pops up, and upon closer inspection she looks less supermodel and more runner-up at a Goth beauty pageant. Okay, so I might be a bit resentful of her sudden need to look like a stunner, but only because my heart wrenches at the thought of Levi wanting her back. She’s poison. She slept with Chip for God’s sake. Ergo she’s rotted out her vagina with his brother’s semen. She’s completely off-limits to him, but men aren’t ruled by logic. They’re ruled by their smaller far more stiffer and greedy for pleasure flesh-covered swords.
Chip nudges her in the arm. “They’re talking engagement.”
Meredith tips her head to the sky and belts out a laugh. “Please.” She blinks back the moisture building in her eyes from what I’m guessing are the comedic circumstances. Doesn’t she wish. “Levi, you’ve got to be kidding me. Please don’t string the poor thing along.” She leans in, and I hate myself for secretly admiring that glow of her complexion. My God, I have to get the name of her esthetician. “Do yourself a favor and find someone in your age bracket.” She glances down to my feet, then right back up again as if she wants to add my financial bracket as well. “Levi is just some old pervert looking for a good time.”
Bitch. I shed a naughty grin.
“Lucky for him I’m looking for a good time myself.” I reach up and curl a finger under his chin, stealing a moment to scratch that scruff he’s been wielding my way like a psychological weapon of sexual warfare. “And a good time is had by all, dirty and often. Isn’t that right, Boobear?”
“That’s ri
ght, Peaches,” he grits it through his teeth. I’ll admit it might be uncomfortable trying to prove your virility with your mother around. And just like that, Bonnie takes off for a group of friends across the yard as if on cue.
“In fact—” I hike up on my tiptoes. Even in heels I can hardly lift my lips to his cheek. “Levi here really knows how to take that whole bedroom rodeo thing to a whole new level.” I tap my fingers over my lips as I return my attention to Meredith and her obnoxious good looks. “But you know all about that, don’t you?”
Both she and Chip attempt to choke out a response, but it’s clear I’ve rendered them speechless and hopefully with enough rompin’ stompin’ naked cowboy boot-wearing visuals to last a lifetime.
I graze my finger over Levi’s lips, and he gently bites down over the tip. “That’s right,” I sing. “This boy can tie my arms and legs up to the bedpost in less than ten seconds flat.” I poke my finger back into his pie hole, past those full, perfectly formed lips, and feel the heat of his mouth melt over me. An entire series of warm vibrations echo off that one heated exchange, and I’m ready for far more traction that will hopefully lead to some serious mattress action. That bedpost thing sounds like a good starting point.
Levi’s chest bumps with a quiet laugh. “That’s right. We’re riding the high life and each other behind closed doors.”
I press my lips tight, holding back a laugh. My gaze seals over his, and for a moment it feels as if we have something real. There’s a warmth in his eyes. Something about the way Levi Masterson looks at me makes me feel as if I’m the most important person in the world. Then, like a slap to the face, I see Raven vaguely staring back at me, and I recoil in the event she decides to morph to life and deck me for having indecent bedpost-inspired thoughts about her brother.
The baby starts to fuss, and Meredith is quick to hand her off to Chip. “Tag, you’re it. I think it needs a diaper change and maybe it should be put to bed.” She sneers at Levi. “There’s just so much to do with a baby. I’m the milkmaid, and Chip’s everything else.” She hacks out a laugh that sounds as if someone just set a cat on fire. Geez, for that chortling offense alone, I’d say Levi can count his lucky stars. And referring to your beautiful baby girl as it qualifies her to have her mommy card revoked in my book.
Low Down & Dirty Page 8
