Deep Dark Mire (An FBI Romance Thriller ~ book four)

by Kelley, Morgan

  “Hey, where’d you get the wine? That was too fast for a liquor store run.”

  “The nice lady was so completely dazzled by my kiss that she wanted to ply me with booze to make it easier for you to get the upper hand.”

  “Will that work? Because if it will, I’m so going to the liquor store for more,” he said, grinning.

  “I’m going to get changed too. Chinese is going to be here in ten minutes.” Elizabeth started for the Gardenia room where both their suitcases were sitting. Digging through hers, she found her shorts and tank top. “Find anything in the original?” she called from the other room, starting to strip.

  Whitefox was lost in the journal and missed her question completely. Then he looked up to find her reflection in the mirror across from where she was getting changed. Callen knew that he should look away. If Elizabeth caught him gawking like some horny teenager, she’d hand him his ass. But damn it, wasn’t he? Maybe not the teenager part, but the horny definitely. Her body was completely amazing, and he watched her step out of her jeans. Now she was in just the tiniest of panties and lacy bra.

  Well holy shit that was the hottest thing he’d seen in…ever. Then, he thought about his brother and looked back down at the journal, praying for control or divine intervention. “What Lyzee?”

  She peeked around the door, shirt in front of her body and just in her shorts. “I said… find anything in the original?”

  He looked up and shook his head. “Nothing yet, and honestly,” he paused trying to concentrate. Now she had her back to him and was topless, pulling her shirt over her head.

  His brother’s name ripped him back to reality, as the sense of survival and loyalty kicked in, and he regained his focus.

  “The original sucks to read. The scanned copies are actually better.”

  Elizabeth came back into the room, her hair completely loose down her back. Dropping down on the bed she mimicked his position.

  “I think we’ll tell Desdemona that she can have the original back, since it’s really of no use to us. I’m going to call Ethan and clear it.”

  Whitefox was still thinking about how her body looked in the mirror. Yeah, his brother was damn lucky. “Okay.”

  She dialed his cell phone and he answered on the third ring, which was odd for him. “Wow getting slow in your old age, Cowboy?” she asked, laughing.

  “I was cuddling with our son, and didn’t know if you were going to insist on a raunchy round of phone sex, but it felt wrong with CJ in my arms.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “I know that’s on your sexual bucket list, but I’m not alone and that would dampen your enthusiasm.”

  “Don’t let me stop you,” added Whitefox, grinning. “Really I won’t say a damn word and my lips are sealed. I’ll just listen.”

  Blackhawk laughed. “Maybe next time and since this isn't a sex call, then it’s business. Or are you calling to kiss me goodnight.”

  “Little of both, honey.”

  Ethan knew when she called him honey he wasn’t going to be entirely thrilled. “What did you do?”

  “I kissed Callen again. He thought he could embarrass me in front of the owner of the bed and breakfast.”

  “A kiss, huh? What kind of kiss?” Ethan began picturing his brother completely freaked out over it.

  “The kind you like and that lead to sex.” Now she was sticking her tongue out at him.

  “Was there sex involved?” he questioned.

  “Ethan Jackson Blackhawk! You know I wouldn’t have sex with your brother,” she paused and grinned wickedly before continuing, “unless you were here to join us, because that’s high on your sexual bucket list.”

  Both men got very quiet. Whitefox turned bright red, which was an accomplishment since he was Native and tan.

  Elizabeth started giggling and changed the subject. “The reason I called was to tell you that we went over the journal and it’s pretty difficult to read. I think we should call Desdemona and give it back. It was her mother’s and she doesn’t really have anything of hers remaining.”

  “How generous of you, Elizabeth. I’m with you on whatever you decide and defer this one to you and Callen. Just don’t lose the copies; I doubt she’ll give us the book back to scan.”

  “Are you okay, Cowboy?” she asked, thinking she upset him before.

  Ethan was definitely distracted. Just the knowledge that she was kissing Callen, and then spilled that he was turned on by the idea of her having sex with his brother, drove him wild. He didn’t know how to respond, but it was making his body very hard and taut. Ethan was having visions of the sex that morning, and if she was home he would demand a repeat performance. Damn it, he wished he was there right now.

  “Yeah baby, just a really long day. In fact a really long couple of days,” he lied, and knew she’d know the truth. As a couple their big rule was to never lie to each other. In this case he knew his brother was right there and she’d forgive him.

  “Okay Cowboy. I miss and love you a lot,” she said, giving him kisses into the phone. “I wish you were here.”

  Ironically so did Callen.

  And Ethan.

  “Call me tomorrow morning. I love you both,” he said calmly, and then disconnected the call. He was too distracted by the need in his body to pull off being calm and relaxed Ethan.

  Elizabeth shrugged. “Want me to call Desdemona?”

  “Can you? I’m not ready for the emotional turmoil to start back up. I know I have to deal with her, but really it’s been a shitty three days.”

  She patted his cheek. There was a knock on their door. “Chinese. Can you get it while I do the deed?” Elizabeth started dialing her number. She knew the number by heart. After all, for about seven months, she’d called her friend. A very close friend, but now she didn’t know what to think of their friendship.

  “Hello?” Desdemona knew who was calling and she was scared shitless. Yet there was no doubt that she needed to answer the call. It could be about her sister.

  “Doctor Adare, it’s Director Blackhawk. We have your journal at the bed and breakfast. If you’d like to come by and get it, you’re welcome to it. I know it’s the last thing you have of your mother’s things. I assure you it was handled delicately. We can work off the scanned copies.”

  “Thank you,” she said, softly. “Elizabeth,” she paused.

  “The woman downstairs knows to send you up. We’re in the Rose suite.”

  Elizabeth disconnected the call, unwilling to give the woman a chance to speak. She crossed the line and said some vile things to her, and she wasn’t taking an apology over the phone. In her world if you screwed up like that, you manned up and did it face to face.

  Whitefox pulled out the takeout containers and said nothing, and he couldn’t really blame Elizabeth for the iciness. Desdemona had struck her hard enough to bruise her face. In their family, physical abuse wasn’t tolerated, and probably more so now that he’d told her his secret.

  Elizabeth’s phone beeped and she read the display. It was a message from her husband.

  “I want you so bad right now that it’s making me

  crazy. I can’t stop thinking about you

  and this morning. I wish I was there right

  now for a repeat performance.”

  Elizabeth grinned at the message and replied.

  “This morning was amazing. I can’t

  wait to see you again, Mr. Blackhawk.”

  Whitefox opened the wine and poured them each a glass. “Ethan?” he asked.

  “Yeah, how did you know?”

  He started laughing. “You had a big evil grin on your face. Which means it probably was him and of a sexual nature.” He handed her the wine and pulled out some chopsticks. “Want to tell me all about it? You know, as your best friend.” He wiggled his eyebrows lecherously and lounged beside her on the bed.

  “You’re right on both counts. But you know I can’t tell you what he said. If it’s sex related it’s private.”

&n
bsp; “You tell him what happens between us. You kiss and tell all the time. Tonight is proof of that.”

  Elizabeth took a take-out container from him and laughed. “One, he’s my husband and on the back of the marriage license it says that I’m required to tell him. Two, you and I aren’t having sex.”

  Just the words tightened his body.

  “How about this, Cal. I won’t tell him I kiss you if it freaks you out so much. What I will just say, thinking out loud to no one specifically, is that it doesn’t really make him angry at all. Trust me on that.”

  He looked confused.

  “Hint hint. Think bucket list.”

  Callen Whitefox thought about it and then got it. “Oh. Ohhhh, the bucket list.” Then, he thought more and flushed again. “I have a million questions, you know that, right?” he said, laughing.

  She shook her head and dug a prawn out of her take out container. “Want a bite?” she offered, changing the subject.

  “Absolutely.” He leaned forward and accepted the prawn, and stared into her eyes. He was about to say something to her about his bucket list, when there was a knock on the door. It probably saved him from uttering something completely idiotic and inappropriate.

  Elizabeth grinned and planted a quick kiss on his lips. “Don’t eat all my prawns, or your beef is all mine!” Elizabeth slid out of bed. “If you think I’m kidding, try me.”

  Elizabeth was grinning when she opened the door. When she saw it was Desdemona, she stopped feeling so jovial and stepped back. “Come on in, Doctor Adare. I’ll get you the journal.”

  She turned away from the woman, and watched her partner. His eyes were firmly rooted on her, and Elizabeth knew he’d warn her if she tried to touch her.

  Desdemona followed her in and took in the scene. Her fiancé was lounging shirtless on the bed in his pajamas, holding a take-out container in one hand. On the bed stands were two glasses of wine and the room looked like it was being used by two lovers. She turned her head towards Elizabeth, and could see into the adjoining room. It was pristine, and their two suitcases were sitting on the bed.

  “Here’s your book.” Elizabeth held it out for her.

  “I’m sorry that I hit you,” she blurted out. “It was stupid and really horrible of me to do to you. Thank you for not punching me in the face, even though I deserved it.”

  Elizabeth stared at her ME, and the woman she considered a friend. “Apology accepted.” She handed her the book and retreated to her side of the bed.

  “Can we talk, Callen?” she asked, hoping to appeal to him. “Just the two of us?”

  Elizabeth went to stand back up and stopped when Whitefox put his hand on her arm. “Care to tell me what it’s about first?”

  She couldn’t believe that he was going to make her have this conversation in front of her boss. “I’d like to talk about us.”

  Elizabeth leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I’m going to jump in the shower. You need to do this alone, darlin’.”

  There was relief when Desdemona realized that at least her boss was going to cut her a break, despite what she pulled the last few days.

  Elizabeth grabbed her wine and escaped into the bathroom, locking the door and turning on the shower. Callen had to make his own decision without outside influence- although she’d support his choice either way.

  This had to be his journey.

  Callen stood and faced the woman who he once believed he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He had forgotten how small and almost childlike that she was standing beside him.

  “How do I fix us?” she asked, completely willing to do what he asked. “I miss you, Callen.”

  “Desi, you know that I care about you, but you were right. I don’t love you with all my heart. I was in love with the idea of us and finding someone to accept me and be mine.”

  “I was drunk, stupid, and didn’t mean anything I said.” Desdemona did mean everything she said, and she knew it, but she wanted him in her life. She didn’t want to end up alone in Cypress Grove without a family.

  “I had time to think over the last three days, and I don’t think we should get married.”

  “Yeah, I came looking for you the other day and you were gone. I wanted to apologize then, but you were off with her.” Desdemona felt her temper rising. Of course this was all going to come down to Elizabeth and her talking him out of them being a couple. Somehow she wasn’t surprised in the least that he was saying the words, but she had to believe it wasn’t his choice.

  “I need to ask for the ring back. I want to return it to the set. We rushed into it, and I was desperate to find someone to love me. This isn't working out.”

  “Callen, I do love you,” she said, stepping closer. “I love you with all my heart,” and she put her hand on his chest and the other on his neck, pulling him down for a kiss.

  It was slow, soft and full of all she felt for him. In bed they were explosive. They were full of passion, and she just wanted that back.

  Callen accepted the kiss, and even tried to kiss her back. Instead of emotion, he felt nothing. The kiss was completely void of any feeling. It was all gone, as if drained from his body by the events over the last seven months. He broke the kiss, and took her hand in his, sliding the ring from her finger.

  “I’m sorry Desi, but it’s over between us.”

  Now the tears filled her eyes. “I never really had a chance did I?” she asked. “Three days ago I should have known when you disappeared with her. You don’t love me because you’re in love with Elizabeth.”

  “I won’t lie to you. Everything that you just said is completely true.”

  Desdemona wished he would have lied. “Give it back to your grandfather and thank him for me. I enjoyed the time it was mine.”

  “I can’t. Timothy died three days ago. That’s where we were, and your right, we were together because we had a funeral to attend.”

  “And you didn’t even tell me? What if I wanted to go and be by your side? Oh wait, that’s right. I don’t get to be by your side.” Now the anger came with the hurt. “You already have your family and the woman you love. You broke my heart Callen. I hope you spend the rest of your life in the hell I’m living right now. It’s brutal to love someone that won’t ever love you back. Enjoy loneliness.”

  Desdemona grabbed her mother’s journal and raced from the bed and breakfast. Her heart was completely shattered. Even though she knew it was coming or at least she suspected it was, nothing prepared her for the cold stab of pain.

  Now, she would run and try to recover as best she could, if she ever could get over the man who just crushed her soul.

  Callen stared out the window, as he watched her leave. Part of him felt bad, and part of him felt relieved that it was finally over. He was so distracted that he never heard Elizabeth come up behind him. When she wrapped her arms around his waist he relaxed.

  “Want me to go track her down and give her an ass kicking?” she asked. “I will if you want me to, Cal.”

  He laughed sardonically. “No, I think she just got her ass handed to her in the worst way possible.” Whitefox opened his hand and showed her. “I’m not very hungry any more. I think I’ll go to bed if you don’t mind, Lyzee.”

  Elizabeth watched him walk away, and let him go. If he needed her and wanted to talk, he knew where to find her. She cleaned up the takeout and put it in the tiny mini fridge in the room. Her appetite was gone now too. Chinese takeout was only fun if you had someone to enjoy it with, and now she was in a bed and breakfast alone.

  It hurt her to see the people she loved heart broken. Part of her wanted to go to him and check on him, but he was just like his brother and needed space.

  Elizabeth brushed her teeth and climbed into bed, shutting off the light on the nightstand. She could see into the adjoining room, with the mirror. Callen was sitting on the bed in the dark, silhouetted by the moonlight, looking down at the ring in his hands. Elizabeth couldn’t stand to see it any more. It was crushing h
er heart that he was so wounded and facing it alone.

  Pulling back the blankets, she stood in the doorway and waited to for his attention.

  “Yes, Lyzee?” His voice didn’t sound like his own. It was weighted down with such heaviness.

  “Callen, come to bed.” Elizabeth held out her hand, and waited for him to take it.

  He looked at her with such emptiness in his eyes. “I don’t want to die alone.”

  Elizabeth rushed over to him and sat on the bed beside him. “You won’t be alone. I promise,” she swore. “Come to bed and stay with me.”

  Whitefox nodded, letting her pull him towards the room. He followed her into bed, and she curled against him. Elizabeth placed her head on his shoulder and arm across his waist, anchoring him to her.

  “I love you, Callen, and please don’t let anything she said to you damage your heart. Desdemona was angry that she was just dumped, and you took back the ring. Women get mean when they’re scorned. It was nothing more.”

  “I love you too.” He rubbed his cheek against the top of the head. “I don’t want to talk about Desdemona anymore. I need to move forward. That part of my life is closed.”

  Elizabeth looked up and saw the unshed tears in his eyes. “Can I have a kiss goodnight?” she asked, waiting for him to decide if that’s what he wanted or not. Again, it had to be his choice.

  “Always, Lyzee.” His lips met hers and she lured him in, making him forget, and pulling all the sadness from his body. She offered him tranquility, and unconditional love with just a kiss. He took everything that she had to offer and always would. If this was all he was entitled to in his life, then this was it. Callen was resigned to it from here on out.

  Desdemona’s words came back to haunt him, and Elizabeth kissed him more, as if she were in his mind and heart. His warrior was feeling the pain that tried to plant itself there, growing into something more vicious. Elizabeth was desperately doing battle with it to win. It wasn’t the kiss on the stairs earlier. It was more.

  It was filled with love.

  Elizabeth broke away and returned to curl against him.