by G. Bailey
I sigh. “I don’t know about that, mum. I’m starting to lose faith in the whole system.”
“As well you should,” she agrees. “But I want you to promise me something, Karma.”
I turn to her. “I’m going to try my best, mum, but there’s no guarantee that—”
“I know,” she interrupts, holding up a hand. “I know you have to go, and I know there’s no other choice. I came to terms with that a long time ago.” I feel a bit relieved at that; it’s a conversation I’ve known was going to have to happen sooner or later, but the idea of telling the woman who raised me that I might not be coming back from my trip to London feels almost unspeakable. “I want you to promise me that you won’t let this make you cold, Karma,” mum says, and I’m surprised by how easily she asks it of me. “The world of gods is a brutal, ugly place,” she continues. “The world of humans, too. Some things are universal, I guess. But they don’t have to be,” she adds. “At the end of the day, the choices you make are going to shape the world. If the higher gods are defeated, there will need to be a new order, a new system…a new everything.
“You have the chance to make things better,” she tells me, and she sounds almost sure enough to make me believe it. “So don’t let Neritous turn you hard. Keep that fighting spirit. The genetics are great, but at the end of the day, that’s the most important thing that Maria ever gave to you.”
It’s a simple request, but it makes something stir deep inside me, and I feel a fresh wave of hope wash over me. Neritous let power and malevolence turn him into a tyrant. His evil runs in my veins…but so does my mother’s good. It’s in that moment that I resolve to continue to nurture that, whatever it takes. “Okay, mum,” I say, nodding. “I promise.”
“Good,” she says, getting to her feet. “Do you want some lunch? The others are getting ready to eat.”
The rest of the day moves at a snail’s pace. I continue to make anxious visits up to my room to check on Kit, but his situation remains unchanged. My talk with mum has taken the edge off, though, and I’m determined to take what she said seriously. I continue to hang around the house, drifting restlessly from room to room, so when I find Mads in the backyard early in the evening, working on her powers, it’s a nice distraction. “Where’s Pey?” I ask, leaning against the fence.
She furrows her brow, and I watch as blue sparks begin to manifest around her fingers. The ease with which she wielded her powers back on the island is gone, but with concentration, the lightning grows intense. A bolt leaps across the yard, making her eyes go wide. “Sorry,” she mutters, turning to me. “Pey went out with your dad—getting supplies, I think.” Scuffing her foot against the dirt, she mutters, “Wish I could do something more useful than almost burn down your yard.”
“Hey, you’re doing great,” I tell her. “Do you know how long it took me to use my powers?”
Mads snorts. “Well, I appreciate the support, at any rate. I can’t believe we’re leaving tomorrow. It all feels like it’s happening so fast.”
“I know,” I agree quietly, looking at the ground. There’s so much that I want to talk about, so many unspoken fears and insecurities, but it isn’t fair to dump those on Mads. She never signed up for any of this. Taking a shaky breath, I add, “I’m sorry that you got dragged into all this, Mads.”
She shrugs her shoulders, giving me a game smile. “It beats working in retail.”
That gets a laugh out of me, and I’m still giggling when the back door opens and Killian steps out. “I needed some air,” he explains, coming to a stop between us. “I’ve been climbing the walls in here.” Moments later, Seth and Storm follow him out. “Looks like we all have,” Killian observes.
“I hope we’re not interrupting anything,” Seth says, putting his hands in his pockets.
“Nothing other than me trying to learn how to use these damn powers,” Mads replies. “I swear, I’m not exactly goddess material.”
“I think we’re all a little restless,” Storm observes. “It’s always like this, the night before a battle.”
An idea occurs to me then, and I look up at the others. “Do you guys want to get away from here for a bit?” I ask. “We don’t have to use magic. We could just take a walk.”
The justice twins exchange a look, and Killian grins. “You just read my mind, Karma.”
Seth nods, and Storm shrugs his broad shoulders. “How can I say no?” the weather god asks.
I turn to Mads, who has the slightest smirk on her face. Her eyes drift from me to the guys, and then she says, “I think I’ll stay here, actually. I have to keep practising. You guys, though…” She shoots me an exaggerated wink, making me roll my eyes.
“Okay, okay,” I laugh. “Point taken.” Turning back to the guys, I say, “There are some cliffs not far from here; it’s a really nice spot. You can see the entire valley.”
“Say no more,” Killian jokes. “I’m sold.”
Feeling a surge of childlike excitement, I follow the guys back inside, leaving Mads to her practise. I think she knows on some level that I need time alone with them, especially with everything that’s at stake. Now is the time to appreciate the people I love.
Crossing over the threshold, we pass through the anti-magic barrier, and although it’s nerve-wracking being outside, there aren’t many people out and about at this hour. The justice twins walk on either side of me, with Storm behind, and although none of us says anything, I can tell that we’re all thinking the same thing: what’s going to happen tomorrow? And, of course, there’s the equally ambiguous follow-up question: if we survive this, what’s going to happen to us? Being in love with multiple guys at once never seemed like a possibility to me. I suppose it’s because I’ve never met men like these before. What few guys in my life who weren’t one-night stands have all turned out to be dicks in some way or another. I know that the practise isn’t unheard of amongst gods, although the dynamics are different between gods and humans. Part of me is still battling guilt, wondering if I’m being selfish for refusing to choose the way that I am. But the truth is that love has never been simple, and the idea of not having these people in my life is enough to make my blood run cold. I’ve got it bad, and there’s no way around it.
I glance over my shoulder at Storm, who seems lost in his own thoughts. He said that he would work to accept my relationship with the twins, but what about them? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a feeling for what they want, and time is running out…but I can’t bring myself to break the silence. Instead, I continue to lead them down the sloping lane and along the main road leading to the overlook.
The cliff overlooks a sprawling meadow, and although the area is developed, this is one piece of nature that hasn’t been touched. Few people know about it, and fewer visit it, which makes it even more special—I don’t think I’ve ever taken someone else here before. We trudge up the overgrown slope leading to the top, emerging in a copse of trees that opens onto a raised ledge. Below us, the verdant valley sprawls out in the light of the low sun, and I’m brought back to all the times I’ve come here seeking solace. Storm seems particularly moved after all his time spent in prison, while even Killian doesn’t make a single snarky remark. We all just stare out over the fields for some time, and if I didn’t know any better, from here, I might even think that the world wasn’t falling apart.
“I used to come up here as a little girl,” I say, walking out farther onto the ledge and slowly taking a seat. The stone is warm from the day’s sunlight, and I put my chin in my hand as I bask in the feeling. “I think the city has mostly forgotten about it. I found it by mistake.”
“This I have to hear,” Killian says, and I elbow him playfully as he and the others come to sit beside me.
“I botched my very first karma job,” I reply. “Pissed off the wrong guy—turns out, he wasn’t the one I was supposed to be messing with. Anyway, he was mad, and I ran, didn’t really care where I was going, and ended up here. He wasn’t even following me, but I didn
’t know that.” I sigh. “I guess some things never change.”
I’m half-expecting one of them to give me some platitude, some shallow reassurance that we all make mistakes and that I’ve gotten better since then, but instead, they stay silent. I’m more grateful than I can express. The truth is that I was never cut out to be a karma goddess—there’s other blood running through my veins…and that’s okay. Mum’s words echo in my head, her request that I maintain my optimism, and I find myself feeling at ease for the first time in ages. Looking down at the plant tattoos on my arms, it’s not disgust I feel anymore, but acceptance. This all started because I was trying to force myself to be something that I wasn’t. What I didn’t realise was that by doing that, I was keeping myself from becoming something better.
It’s a long time before any of us speaks, until finally Seth brings up the elephant in the room. “It’s going to be bad tomorrow.”
Killian nods slowly. “Yeah. It is.”
Choosing his words carefully, Seth continues, “I know that things haven’t always been… That is, it’s been rocky, and there’s no denying that.” Killian looks at the ground but says nothing. “I just think we need to consider, in case something happens—”
Storm surprises me with the intensity of his tone. “Don’t talk like that.” Seth turns to him, eyes wide, but the weather god holds his ground. “We’re going to kill Neritous. We’re going to stop the twins. And we’re going to be fine—all of us.”
“I…didn’t expect you to care so much,” Seth replies, not making eye contact.
“I didn’t, for a long time,” Storm admits. “But there are things that are more important than pride.” Taking a shaky breath, he looks from Seth to Killian. “And if the two of you love her the way that I do, then we’re on the same side. I’m…I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to see that.”
Seth blinks. “Apology accepted.”
“Ditto,” says Killian.
“Guys…” I say, overcome with emotion. None of them says anything; nothing needs to be said. Instead, each one shifts closer to me. I relax back into Storm’s chest, my hands intertwined with the justice twins’, and even the sight of the vista below us pales in comparison to the warmth I’m feeling in my heart.
The sun drops below the horizon not long after, and we decide that it’s time to head back. I probably won’t sleep well tonight, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try to get to bed early all the same.
The shift in dynamic between the guys is strong and immediate. They actually talk to each other on the way back, Killian with his teasing jibes, Seth with his put-upon eye rolling, and Storm with his dry, stoic observations. I know it’s too early to think about the future, but it’s as if an invisible wall has come down between the three of them. There are no spiteful glances or muttered remarks when one of them kisses the top of my head or when another pulls me into his side. It feels like…
An understanding, I think as we head up the stoop to the front door. I’m just fumbling for my keys when the door flies open, revealing my dishevelled-looking mother. Her eyes are wide, and she looks like she’s halfway between panic and excitement.
“Mum?” I ask uncertainly.
“Thank the gods you’re back,” she says, frantically ushering us into the house.
“I’m sorry,” I begin. “We were just on a short walk—”
Mum waves me off. “It’s not that. It’s Kit.”
My stomach drops, and my grip on Killian’s hand tightens. “What…what happened?” This is it, I think.
Mum gives me an unreadable look, and then says, “I think you’d better go up and see for yourself.”
Swallowing hard, I nod, the guys accompanying me upstairs and into my room. The sight I’m met with is almost unbelievable: instead of lying comatose in his box, Kit is now standing on my bed, and he’s huge. He’s close to the size of a child, his starry eyes bigger and more perceptive than ever. He seems to have fashioned a tunic for himself using my bedsheets, and he smiles when he sees me, rows upon rows of sharp teeth. “Kit?” I say wonderingly, taking a tentative step towards him. “Is that you?” As if in response, he takes hold of my hand and gives it a gentle bite. I start to laugh, half-amused and half-relieved, and the guys are probably looking at me like I’ve gone insane. “What the hell happened?” I ask, touching the goblin’s shoulder.
“It looks like he’s transformed into a full adult,” Storm replies. “I’m willing to bet his teleporting abilities are stronger than ever.”
“Well,” I say, putting my hands on my hips and smiling for the first time in what feels like forever, “it’s about time we caught a break.”
Chapter 18
I’m not sure if I’m ever going to get used to seeing Kit as a big child instead of a tiny little creature. Every time I look at him, I’m expecting that tiny goblin I found in the yard, so small he fit in the palm of my hand, but instead, he’s like an entirely new creature.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fully-grown goblin,” Killian remarks as we step out onto the front porch. “He’s bigger than I was expecting.”
“You’re telling me,” I reply. “I used to worry about him breaking the skin when he bit me. Now I have to worry about him taking a whole damn finger off.” My tone is lighthearted, but it’s all for show, and Killian knows it too; we’re about to throw ourselves into the eye of the storm, and it’s all any of us can do to pretend things are going to be okay. Maybe if we want it badly enough, it will happen.
“Do you have everything?” Storm, ever the practical one, asks as he comes to a stop beside me.
“I think so,” I reply. “Not much, but I figure what really matters is my magic, anyway.”
“Fair enough, little one,” Storm says, the corner of his mouth twitching up in a half-smile.
“We’d better go,” Seth says, shifting nervously from foot to foot. I don’t blame him. If I think too hard about what’s about to happen, I feel like I might faint. Even the magic inside me feels restless, like a powerful force that’s struggling to get out, waiting for something big to happen.
“The other gods,” Killian says, turning to his brother. “Are they there already? The ones on our side?”
Seth gives him a curt nod. “What ones I was able to convince, yeah. They’re scared, I think. This whole thing is unprecedented.” He shakes his head grimly. “I don’t know what it’s like in London, but they’re saying it’s gotten bad.”
“Gee, there’s some good news,” Killian mutters.
“If you want good news, I’m not the guy to be asking,” Seth retorts dryly before his expression turns serious again. “We’re going to be outnumbered. Most of the gods have taken Neritous’s side—probably just trying to save their own skins. Either way, it’s not going to be pretty.”
“I didn’t think it would be,” I say in a low voice before rolling my shoulders back and straightening up. “Well, might as well get this over with, then.”
“We’re with you,” Killian tells me.
“All of us,” adds Mads, crossing her arms over her chest. I can see the fear in her eyes, but her face is set with determination, and I’ve never been prouder of my friend than I am right now. I know Pey is worried for her, and I told her she didn’t have to come if she didn’t want to, but she was having none of it. She’s going to finish this thing by my side, whatever the outcome.
“Right,” I say, turning to Kit. “If you could do the honours, please, Kit.”
The goblin stares at me for a moment before extending his arms, his night sky eyes closing, and the difference is immediately evident: he doesn’t struggle at all to summon the portal, his gestures practised and self-assured, and when the tear appears in the universe, it expands into a portal at incredible speed. It’s like he’s barely breaking a sweat, I think wonderingly. What else is he capable of now that he’s an adult?
I don’t have time to wonder for very long, as Storm and Seth are already stepping through the portal and disappearing.
Killian gives me a curt nod before following them, and Mads meets my eyes for a long moment before bringing up the rear. I’m left on the front stoop with my goblin, but I hesitate, stealing a glance over my shoulder and in through the living room window. I can see mum, dad, Pey, and Damien inside, and they’re watching me, mum and dad holding hands while Pey and Damien each give me a solemn wave. We’ve already said our goodbyes, and I know that going in for another one would be too painful, but I can’t help but raise my hand to them in a final farewell gesture, my eyes meeting mum’s and holding there. She gives me a small smile and nods, and I know exactly what she’s thinking: Don’t let the world turn you cold.
And I’m not going to.
Turning back around, I take Kit by the hand. He seems to understand what’s happening, and moves willingly alongside me as we walk up to the dark hole in time and space. I swallow, closing my eyes…and then we step through the portal.
For a minute I’m disoriented, and not only because teleportation has the tendency to give me major vertigo. My first reaction is to wonder if Kit made a mistake, because there’s no way this is London—it just can’t be possible. But a glance in front of me as the portal closes shows the guys and Mads, all looking around with that same expression of disbelief, and I realise with a sinking feeling that it is possible. We’re living it right now.
Over on the water, I can see Big Ben, or at least, what remains of it. The iconic clock tower has been split in half, the upper part in shambles over the collapsed roof of the Palace of Westminster. It’s been torn apart, enormous tree trunks splitting through the old stone and giving the whole thing a post-apocalyptic look. Indeed, the rest of the city doesn’t look much better; I glance around with dismay at icons and landmarks I remember from my childhood trips here, the city in ruins all around us. It was one thing to see it happening from above, like in San Francisco, but it’s another to be standing in the midst of it, like living in the middle of a natural disaster.