“Your boys are great,” she said, “they’re really good kids. You did a great job with them.”
He looked up at her then suddenly, almost surprised by her words. He swallowed hard, frowning and nodded.
She wanted to say so much to him. That he deserved to be happy. That people die all the time, it’s a part of life. He should live his life to the fullest. Instead she just stayed quiet until he said, “What was it all about anyway? What did she say?”
Tatum didn’t want to answer that. She looked at him and shook her head.
“Please?” he pleaded.
She looked up from his hands on hers. She hesitated a second and he lifted his eyebrows expectantly.
“She was talking about your wife. Nothing good… it made me mad. I don’t like that. People talking about other people like that. She was their mother… it was just… disrespectful.”
Jager nodded again and looked around the room. “She had her faults I guess,” he said quietly, out of nowhere. Tatum sensed this was important for him to say so she kept quiet.
“The things you were doing today, with the boys. She’d never do that. I mean, she told them she loved them and took them to the park and stuff, but she never really played with them. She always assumed that she knew what was best for them. She never asked me or included me. Before she died, I started resenting her for it. I wasn’t easy to live with. I don’t blame her for leaving. She wanted out of this lifestyle so bad but I forced her to stay. I didn’t think anything would happen to her. Now I feel guilty, all the time. I took their mother away. It was my fault. The people I’m involved with… The worst problem is I don’t even know who did it. I have so many people that are hell bent on destroying me that I honestly have no clue.” He shook his head slightly before continuing. “The thought of them ending up like this, like me…” The words hung in the air.
Tatum didn’t know what to say. Everything he’d said was true. She didn’t necessarily believe that it was his fault. He didn’t kill her himself, but it’s the lifestyle. If they didn’t live the way they did, they wouldn’t have to constantly be looking over their shoulders.
“People die every day,” Tatum said in a quiet voice, matching his. “If it’s not murder, it’s a car accident, or cancer. You can’t blame yourself. The type of life we live, you just have to appreciate the good days a whole lot more to make up for how bad the shitty ones are. Your boys are amazing, and obviously that’s because of you. If they are going to end up like this, then they end up like this, but ultimately it’s up to them. I’m proof of that right?”
Jager looked at her then. She continued, “If your daddy is a baker and mommy is a baker, but you are allergic to gluten, you probably won’t be a baker. If your parents are rocket scientists, but you hate physics and numbers, you probably won’t be a rocket scientist.”
Her smile was infectious Jager thought. He couldn’t help but smile back at her. He’d never really thought of it that way before.
Phil walked in then and Jager broke eye contact with Tatum. Instinctively, he pulled his hand back from atop hers and leaned back in his chair, putting as much space between them as he could without physically jumping out of his seat. He noticed Phil looking at the situation before him, analyzing it.
“Everything ok?” he asked, looking at Jager.
“I don’t know,” he replied casually, looking at the girl. “She’s the one with the busted hands,” he smiled, attempting to look casual.
Tatum, ever calm and collected removed the bag of veggies from her knuckles and turned them around to show Phil. “Nothing a few more drinks can’t fix,” she said smiling. She stood, kissed Phil on the cheek and walked out to the patio where everyone saw her and erupted in cheers. Her mood had lifted exponentially. She wasn’t positive, but the way Jager reacted when her father walked in, the way he opened up to her, proved that he thought about her the way she had been catching herself thinking about him.
“You alright brother?” Phil asked Jager warily when Tatum was out of earshot.
Jager raised his eyebrows in question to Phil. He was smiling wasn’t he?
Phil bit his tongue. He didn’t want to ruin the mood by telling Jager to leave Tatum alone. “Just asking, we need ice out there,” he smiled and walked to the freezer.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
For the rest of the week everyone was waiting for the ball to drop with Jager, but it seemed as if his good mood was here to stay. The kids thrived. When their daddy was in a good mood, it felt as if things were normal again. They loved Tatum. She spent most of her days with them, playing video games, tag, and going to the beach. Jager was easier going too. He’d joke with his brothers. Play with the kids, and more than once, Tatum questioned if he was checking her out, flirting with her.
They spent more time together than they did with any of the others because the boys wanted to be with both of them. They found themselves on the beach a lot. More so than Tatum usually did, living there alone. The kids loved the water, and in the evening after Jager had put them to bed, they still gravitated toward the sand.
Gathering around a fire that Gary had prepared, Tatum and her new family drank beers while someone played a guitar. Through the fire she watched Jager across from her. He sat on a lawn chair, laughing with Sugar next to him. She found herself biting her thumbnail, the way she did when she was deep in thought. Not enough to break it, basically just clicking her teeth with it as she stared at him. He’d run his fingers through his hair when a piece would fall into his eyes. He’d take a swig of his beer and his top lip would stay under the bottle while his bottom lip pouted out around it. She envied that bottle. The fire warmed her cheeks. She couldn’t tell if she was blushing or if it was just from the heat. Still looking at him, she wondered idly why she didn’t come down here more often. The smell of the burning wood filled her nose, the smoke burned her eyes, and she loved it. The sound of the guitar changed the mood with every note.
Ava sat next to her, “I don’t know how you get anything done,” she said and shook her head, looking out at the ocean. The sky reminded her of cotton candy. Pastel purples, pinks and blues. She smiled wistfully and turned to Tatum, “I’d have to just live here, on the beach. It’s so beautiful.”
Tatum smiled back at her. Still unsure how this other girl fit into the group of misfits. She seemed too normal to be a groupie. The men treated her with respect, unlike the other girls who’d they grope and hit on.
They sat in silence for a while, taking in the conversations around them before Tatum couldn’t hold it any longer. “Ava, I have to ask you something, and I hope you don’t get offended.”
Ava raised her eyesbrows. “Shoot. I never get offended,” she smiled.
Tatum searched her face for a minute, deciding if it was a good idea to actually ask her. Choosing her words carefully she said, “How do you fit in with these guys? I get the feeling that you don’t just hang around with them, like the other girls do, if you know what I mean.” The other girls definitely didn’t just hang around, Tatum thought. They were there to suck dick and hopefully get in on some cash if they were good enough at it. Saying that however seemed a little too harsh.
Ava spluttered on her beer. “Oh God,” she said mortified.
“I’m sorry…” Tatum began before Ava cracked up laughing.
“You have no idea do you?!” she said wiping her eyes.
Tatum shook her head and raised her eyebrows, glad that she didn’t actually seem to have offended her.
“Jagers my cousin!” she said and started laughing again. “I do the books for the guys. Try to keep it all somewhat legal. My father used to own the club.”
Her eyes drifted down to her hands before taking a swig of her beer again. Tatum guessed the topic of her father was still a sensitive one. “I’m sorry,” she said to Ava. “I didn’t mean to bring it up. I heard of your father and how he took Jager on as his own. I didn’t realize he had his own kids.”
Ava laughed a quick, bi
tter laugh. One that was mostly just her huffing out a quick breath. “Most people don’t,” she said before staring back into the fire again.
The tension was palpable. It lasted for all of five minutes or so. Tatum was about to get up and walk around until Ava spoke again. “So, um…” she began, then looked away, and then back at Tatum, chewing her lip, as if she were uncomfortable with what she was about to say, or didn’t know how to say it.
Tatum smiled at her new friend. The tables had turned. It seemed to be an evening for awkward questions. Ava smiled back and shifted her chair closer, this was a secret apparently. Raising her eyebrows Tatum grabbed the arm rest of Ava’s chair and helped her. When the chair came down on Ava’s foot and she yelped, the two women laughed uncontrollably, rendering Ava useless to tell Tatum what she intended to. Eventually they got their bearings and Ava leaned toward Tatum, her hair falling down the side of her face, shielding it from the view of others. “You can slap me if this is none of my business, but…” she bit her lip, unsure if this question was appropriate.
Tatum shook her head and raised her eyebrows, waiting.
“…Is there something, with you… and Jager?” she whispered.
Tatum realized then that she wasn’t blushing before. The feeling in her face now was undoubtedly, positively that of embarrassed blushing.
Ava recognized right away. Her smile grew and she began to sit back with a smug look on her face but Tatum shot out and grabbed her arm in her hand. Ava’s eyes widened in surprise. “There is nothing going on,” Tatum said intensely, and then toned down a little. “I’m just…” she watched Ava’s face as realization dawned on her.
“You’re just falling, hard,” Ava said, her smile growing huge.
Tatum took a deep breath and looked down at her hands before nodding.
They sat in awkward silence for a moment before Ava couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Aren’t you going to ask me why I asked?” she said with the same big grin. Tatum turned to look at her now, mimicking her posture from a moment ago, her hair shielding her face from the crowd, her ear pointed toward the ground.
Ava made her wait for a moment, picking at her finger nails. Letting the suspense build until Tatum blurt out, “Why?! Why’d you ask?” In the most frustrated whisper she could muster.
Looking up from her hands she leaned into to Tatum and said, “Don’t look now, but he hasn’t taken his eyes off you.”
Her heart began pounding hard in her chest. She smiled involuntarily and leaned back in her seat. She tried to look casual, but the smile wasn’t leaving her face. It was only growing bigger. She took the cuff on the sleeve of her hoody and put it around her mouth and looked over at Ava who started laughing again uncontrollably. Eventually she gathered the nerve to look up and through the fire at Jager.
His eyes met hers, and before he realized she caught him, he tried to look away quickly. She couldn’t stop smiling and kept her eyes on him. He knew she was watching. Knew she’d seen him checking her out. He tried to keep his eyes on Sugar to his right, who was describing something to Bobo with his hands and some interesting facial expressions, but his smile grew as he struggled not to look at her, as her eyes continued to bore into him.
Finally, giving up, he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She was laughing at him and he couldn’t help it, he laughed too and shook his head. He ran his fingers through his hair and smoothed them over his face, trying to stop himself from grinning like an idiot. It was her eyes that did it, not his hands. As soon as their gazes locked, he was hooked. She was stunning, and happy, and fearless. She was perfect.
Tatum blushed even harder under his scrutiny. It was embarrassing, yet she loved it. She didn’t want him to stop. She bit her lip, self consciously, but her gaze didn’t falter.
Sugar said something to Jager, and slowly he tore his gaze from her and back to his friend. A moment later he stood and rubbed his palms on his jeans before he began walking toward her. It was as if he were in slow motion. This man was perfection. How could he make jeans and a hoodie look so sexy? Her heart picked up even more, and lodged itself in her throat.
Ava let out an inconspicuous, “Ah Hmm,” in the disguise of a cough and Tatum swallowed hard.
He came to stand in front of Ava and looked down at her. She looked up at him with amused annoyance, “Can I help you? Mr. Ryan?”
Jager picked at an ash that landed on his sweater. “Can you go find something useful to do? Instead of sitting around here drinking and wasting all of our money?” he joked.
Tatum shook her head and looked at Ava, who sucked her teeth before standing, toe to toe with him. “Don’t think for a second that just because you’re you, I’d hesitate to kick you in the dick.”
Her stance was impressive, however, she still walked away, but not before winking at Tatum.
Jager looked at Tatum, smiling even though he was biting his lip, looking unsure as he produced a bottle of beer from his sweater pocket and offered it to her. She accepted, and he sat, opening his own bottle. They sat in silence for a moment, staring at the fire before Jager slid down in the chair, resting his head on the back and putting his hand on Tatums knee. She tried to act casual but the second she felt his touch, she shivered and had difficulty swallowing.
He shook his head before turning to look at her. “What are you doing to me?” he asked, smiling his knowing, sexy smile at her before removing his hand and placing them both behind his head. Tatum noticed the bottle between his legs. She didn’t know what she was doing to him but she could think of a few things she’d like to do…
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Jagers Birthday happened to fall while he was visiting. Tatum invited the men, their groupies, and all of her dancers and henchmen to her main club. It was insane. The girls were all dancing, everyone was drinking. It was one of the rowdiest times the club had ever been. All of the strippers were vying for his attention, wanting to give him ‘birthday gifts.’ A part of Tatum wondered why he didn’t take them up on their offers, and a part of her hoped it was because of her.
She felt conflicted about her new found interest in Jager. He was so broken. She wasn’t a relationship type person. But the way he looked at her. The way he made her feel. It had her insides doing things that she didn’t know they could do.
It may have been the excessive amount of alcohol she’d consumed that made her do it, or that she just wanted to get it out of her system. She encouraged one of her girls to ‘treat’ Phil in one of the backrooms. It took little convincing as two of them tag teamed him.
The fact that Tatum had grown up in a strip club didn’t come as a surprise to anyone. She was renowned for her moves when she’d had a few too many. She filled Bobo in on her intentions, leaving out the fact that she would be the entertainment. He escorted Jager to a stage and had him sit on a chair front and center. Jager knew what to expect – somewhat – and proceeded to rub his hands together, awaiting the arrival of a dancer, the smile never leaving his face.
The music cut in, and the crowd erupted. Behind Jager, Tatum descended from a pole that went up into the ceiling. He knew that he wasn’t allowed to turn to see what was happening. Tatum worked her way to the pole that his chair was propped up against. She slid expertly up and down it, wrapping her legs around his neck some of the time, obscuring his view all the time.
The club went wild. The strippers grew jealous at how good she was and the fact that he was letting her touch him, even though he didn’t actually know it was her. Her hair was big and long and her makeup was dramatic and flawless. Although she wasn’t nude, wearing a revealing one piece strappy thing, she was the hottest one in the bar.
She let go of the pole and walked around to stand in front of Jager. His face when he realized it was her was almost hilarious. His eyes grew wide, and he scanned the crowd for Phil, coming up short because the lights were so bright. When Tatum smiled at him, and threw her head back laughing, he couldn’t help but laugh too. Fuck, she was beautiful, a
nd now that he knew it was her, he began to grow hard. He didn’t want the club seeing that and was glad he was sitting. She lowered herself onto her knees in front of him, facing the crowd. Her head rolled back and rested on his crotch and he knew then that she knew the effect she was having on him.
She turned to face him, propping herself up on her toes and he knew that the view the audience had was life changing. Her knowing smile nearly had him coming undone. When she stood and wrapped her legs around his waist, straddling him, he tried to shift himself so that he wasn’t poking into her, growing by the second, but she wouldn’t let him. She ran the tip of her nose slowly up the side of his neck and he couldn’t help it, he moaned. No one beside her would have heard it over the rhythmic pumping of the bass in the song, but the look in her eyes when she looked at him again told him she was feeling the same way.
She curled herself backwards, in an impossibly flexible movement, reaching under the chair and slithering down so that she was no longer on top of Jager, but underneath, and then behind him. Standing there she ran her hands down his chest and Jager took a breath and closed his eyes. It felt so fucking good.
The women in the club hollered and hooted. Sometimes they were worse then the men.
She began undoing his sweater, and then slid her hands up his shirt. He had a tattoo of Matthews name on his chest. She suspected he had a good body but seeing it now was almost ridiculous. Did he have any flaws? She reached down and undid his belt buckle, and Jager grew nervous. The club didn’t need to see that, and by the way it was constricted in his jeans, it wouldn’t take much for it to be visible.
Altering Authority Page 5
