by Sally Morgan
Dad wanted the kitchen to be spotless. He made us clean out the cupboards, wipe down the walls and mop the floor.
Then he handed me and Johnno some pumpkin, carrots, a bag of potatoes and two peelers. I usually hate peeling vegetables. But it was Mum’s birthday, so for once I was glad to help.
Just before lunch, the phone rang. It was Aunty June. She told Dad that Mum was allowed to come home and that she would drop her off.
By then Dad had me and Johnno dusting and vacuuming the lounge room. I hadn’t even had time to make Mum a birthday card!
When Aunty June’s car pulled in the drive, Dad said, ‘Come on! Let’s go out the front and welcome the birthday girl home.’
Johnno and me beat Dad outside.
‘I’ll pick you up later, Johnno!’ Aunty June sang out, as she drove away.
‘Happy birthday, Mum!’ I shouted, as she came down the front path with Sharni and Tia. ‘You look … You look …’
‘Normal?’ Mum said.
‘Beautiful!’ said Dad.
He was right! Mum’s green hair was now black with red highlights. It was shorter, too. The tight curls flopped over and covered nearly all of her bald spot.
‘June did my hair at the Nursing Post!’ Mum said, looking relieved.
But it wasn’t just her hair, it was her rash as well. The bumps were flatter. Even the banana bump on the end of her nose didn’t look so bad. And it sounded like she’d stopped slurring.
‘Your rash is fading, Mum!’ I said.
‘Granny Mary came in and gave me a good rub with some bush medicine she made especially for me,’ Mum said. ‘None of Nurse Bell’s tablets or that injection worked, but Granny’s paste has done the trick!’
‘Look out!’ cried Sharni suddenly, putting her hands over her head.
Butch swooped down from the gum tree. The bird dropped low over Dad’s head and made him duck. Then he screeched, ‘Bumface!’ at Johnno and soared back up into the air.
‘Is that your bird, Johnno?’ said Mum.
‘He just wants attention, Aunty!’ said Johnno. ‘And he’s enjoying his freedom. He’s a lovely bird, really!’
The bird swooped again. He had a cheeky look on his face when he pecked at Dad’s head.
Then he swooped the girls, who screamed loudly.
Way to go, Butch! I thought.
‘That galah’s worse than a swooping magpie!’ said Mum.
Johnno stretched out his arm. ‘Come on, Butch!’ he said.
Butch dropped down and came to a wobbly landing on Johnno’s wrist. Then he scurried up Johnno’s arm and perched on his shoulder. ‘Pooey Charlie!’ he said.
Both my sisters busted out laughing.
‘That’s even better than Fizz-Face!’ said Tia.
‘Pooey Charlie!’ said Sharni. ‘The bird’s got brains!’
I was about to yell at the girls when something amazing happened.
Mum laughed.
‘What a bird!’ she said. ‘He’s such a character!’
Mum loves it when birds and cats misbehave. It’d be good if she felt the same way about kids!
Mum gave Butch a little scratch on the head. ‘If we didn’t have Fluffy, he’d be welcome to come and visit all the time, Johnno,’ she said. ‘But I think you’d better take him home as soon as possible!’
‘I’d be happy to take him home, Aunty!’ said Johnno.
Only the bird wasn’t his! Tim was sure to want Butch back—especially if he knew the bird was hanging around with us.
‘Let’s go inside,’ Dad said. ‘I’ve got a beaut lunch in the oven that the boys are going to help me serve! I’ve even baked a cake!’
That was a big lie. Aunty June had given him the cake this morning.
We were all heading for the front door of the house when Johnno pulled hard on the back of my t-shirt.
I looked around. Tim was walking up the street towards our house.
I looked back at Johnno. His eyes had gone all watery.
‘I’ll look after Butch better than Tim!’ he whispered.
Johnno was right. The bird needed a better owner. Besides, Butch liked
Johnno! I bet he didn’t like Tim nearly as much.
‘Get inside quick!’ I said. It was probably a dumb thing to do, but I was going to try and help Johnno keep Butch.
I turned around to face Tim. I was surprised to see he was carrying a parcel wrapped in brown paper. I was pretty sure it was the mystery prize. He was also carrying a girl’s purse.
Weird!
I met Tim on the footpath so he wouldn’t come near my house.
‘Here!’ he said, shoving the parcel and the purse at me. ‘If my mum asks, tell her I said sorry. Okay?’
What was going on?
Tim sighed and scowled at me. ‘You know I stole your money, right?’ he hissed.
I was so surprised to hear him admit it, I didn’t know what to say. In the end I just nodded.
‘Well, that stupid mate of yours had it in one of his mum’s purses,’ Tim said. ‘Her name was written inside on a little tag. Mum found the purse and thought I’d stolen it off Aunty June. So then I had to tell Mum the whole story!’
Whoaa! I thought. Tim’s mum, Aunty Ethel Slade, was pretty tough. Especially when Tim was up to no good.
‘She’s making me give you my savings,’ said Tim, shoving the purse at me. ‘And the mystery prize!’ He shoved that at me, too. ‘You tell anyone about this, Burr, and you’ll be sorry!’
‘I promise I won’t tell anyone,’ I said. Then I took a deep breath. ‘… But only if I can keep your galah.’
Tim snorted in disbelief. ‘The bird’s escaped! That feathery nothing is all yours if you can find him!’
‘Shake on it,’ I said.
Tim sneered at me, but he shook my hand anyway.
I couldn’t resist peeling back a corner of the wrapping on the mystery prize to see what it was.
Perfume and hand lotion! Mum’s birthday was saved!
‘Jackpot!’ I grinned.
‘You’re such a girl, Charlie!’ Tim yelled in a high-pitched voice. He ran off laughing.
I waved the pink purse in the air. ‘Just remember,’ I yelled back, ‘this used to be yours!’
I shook the purse again. There was money inside. I opened it and found a five-dollar note and three twenty-cent coins. Me and Johnno were rich!
But that wasn’t the end of the surprises. Mrs Wilson’s car cruised up the hill. She pulled up outside our front gate and called me over.
‘Congratulations, Charlie!’ she said, handing me an envelope through the window. ‘You won the raffle!’
I looked around for the frozen chook.
‘It’s a holiday voucher for two,’ she said. ‘My brother’s business partner is a travel agent. Whoever goes on the holiday will be staying at a five-star hotel in Perth and airfares are included. That’s a pretty good prize for fifty cents, don’t you think?’
I was so shocked I couldn’t speak.
‘But next time,’ Mrs Wilson added, ‘please write your real name on the ticket stub. It took me ages to figure out who Mr Goannazam was!’
Mr Goannazam?
I thought back to yesterday morning when Mrs Wilson collared me and made me buy a ticket. I must’ve been so worried about our show that I’d scribbled that stupid name on the ticket stub without thinking!
I thanked Mrs Wilson and said goodbye to her. Then I walked back into my house. I was shivering with excitement.
My luck had changed at last!
I had a huge surprise for Mum’s birthday—a holiday in Perth! And I had the perfume and hand lotion as an extra gift as well. I couldn’t believe it!
As I went into the lounge room Johnno gave me a worried look.
‘The bird’s yours!’ I whispered.
He grinned like he was the happiest kid in the world. I think Butch must have known it was good news, because he squawked softly and nibbled on Johnno’s ear.
Then Dad
handed Mum her present. You could see it was a frying pan from the way he’d wrapped it. The handle was even poking out!
Mum sighed and peeled back the rest of the wrapping.
Poor Dad! I had to help him.
‘Surprise, Mum!’ I said, jumping forward and holding out the mystery prize. ‘You didn’t think Dad would only buy you a frying pan, did you? He got you this, too. That was a good trick, wasn’t it?’
Mum looked pleased. She put the frying pan to one side and unwrapped the new parcel.
‘My perfume has just run out,’ she said. ‘Fancy you noticing, Jim! Thank you. It’s just what I wanted!’
Dad kissed Mum. He gave me the thumbs-up sign over her shoulder.
Sharni and Tia were glaring at me. They thought I didn’t have anything! It was time for me to give Mum my present. I whipped the envelope out of my pocket.
‘Happy birthday, Mum!’ I said.
Mum pulled out the holiday voucher and stared at it like it was some kind of joke.
Dad stared at it, too. I think he was worried it was a fake thing I’d made up.
‘They had a different raffle prize this year,’ I said, jumping around in excitement. ‘And I won it!’
It was the first time I’d won anything in my whole life.
Mum showed the voucher to Sharni and Tia. ‘Charlie’s won a holiday for two people to Perth!’
The girls looked at the voucher like they couldn’t believe it was true!
‘Never mind two people,’ said Dad. ‘I’ve got a few gold nuggets stashed away for a rainy day. I’ll sell them and we’ll all go as a family!’
My eardrums nearly burst, Sharni and Tia screamed so loud.
Then Dad handed me the key to his shed. ‘While I pull the roast dinner out of the oven,’ he said, ‘you can pull the box of practical jokes out of the shed. You’ve made your mum happy, son. I reckon you’ve earned it back!’
Johnno and Butch and me and Spike raced down to the end of the backyard, unlocked the shed door and grabbed the joke box off the high shelf.
‘Hello, toilet monster!’ said Johnno.
‘Hello, fart cushion!’ I laughed. I pulled it out of the box and gave it a good squeeze—PPHHAARRRT!
‘Do it again, Charlie!’ giggled Johnno.
PPHHAARRRT!
‘Ooh, Bumface!’ said Butch.
Me and Johnno busted out laughing!
My sisters didn’t know it, but soon they’d be screaming again.
One fantastic practical joke birthday party coming up!
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Sally Morgan and Ambelin, Blaze and Ezekiel Kwaymullina are a family of writers who write as a group and individually. They belong to the Palyku people, from the Pilbara region in Western Australia. They love writing, reading books, listening to stories and music, walking their dogs, painting and drawing, and having a good laugh. (Especially at each other!)
ABOUT THE ILLUSTRATOR
Peter Sheehan is a Sydney-based illustrator and writer. He has over twenty books to his name, some as a writer and some as an illustrator. When he is not drawing or writing he is storyboarding films, learning to speak French, swimming or walking with his wife, or reading good books. You can find out more about Peter at www.petersheehan.com
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