“Stop the truck!” Ivy shouts, catching me off guard.
“Why?” I check. “You come to your senses and need me to fuck you?”
Stop the truck,” she repeats, opening the door.
“Hold up, Firefly,” I command. “Let me stop the fucking vehicle before you get out.”
Ivy doesn’t listen and hops out as the truck rolls the last few feet.
“Ivy!” I shout, jumping out after her. “I get it…you’re itching for some release. You’ve got me wound tighter than a tornado, but that was fucking stupid! You could have hurt yourself you crazy fucking woman.”
“I’m fine,” she says, brushing it off as she walks back in the direction we came from.
“Where the fuck are you going?” I call, jogging to catch up to her. “There’s a tree line over there that’s closer to hide us while we get naked.”
“I saw something,” she claims.
“What?” I ask, not liking how my blue balls feel like they’re the size of watermelons or at the fact that she doesn’t want to have sex at the moment.
“You’ll see,” she says, stopping by a dirt driveway.
“I better get to see you naked in about five seconds or else we’re going to be giving a show to anyone who drives by,” I quip.
“We’re not having sex,” Ivy claims.
“Not yet,” I snicker, glancing up to look further in the direction of where she’s headed.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she says excitedly, continuing to walk ahead of me.
“I reckon,” I say passively, realizing that she wants to check out a new house that’s up for sale.
Ivy moves like a red fox hunting for food.
“What the hell are you doing?” I search, chasing after her.
“I want to get a better look at it,” she announces.
“You can see it great from the road,” I claim.
“I want to peek inside,” she shares.
“Why, you wanna get frisky in there?” I ask, hoping she does.
“Nope,” she returns. “I just want to see what it looks like through a window.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because, I’m just curious,” she states.
I follow her without another word, curious to see what she’ll say about the house. It’s got a long dirt driveway that still needs to be paved, enough open space around it with some landscaping already and lots of trees lining three of the sides.
“It’s so beautiful,” she gasps, trailing her fingers along the railing of the porch. She looks back. “It’s up for sale.”
“Yeah, I saw the sigh,” I mention, curious as to why she’s so interested but afraid to ask.
“They don’t make houses like this in New York,” she remarks.
I smile. “They don’t make houses like this in Georgia…not until now,” I add.
The house is predominantly logs, sturdy ones and any construction guy would know that it’s been well crafted. Someone took their time with it like they built it for themselves. It’s got the rugged look and style with the modern amenities and fixings to make it very comfortable regardless of the time of year.
Ivy follows the wrap around porch to the left and peers through each window. “That fireplace is exquisite,” she says in awe. “And it’s big, but not too big.”
“Perfect for a family,” I say under my breath.
“Exactly,” she hums, catching me off guard.
Ivy continues to mention different things she likes about the house and the property as a whole. I hum agreement as my brain continues to be distracted by her response to my statement. Is Ivy doing that thing women do when they see certain things that make them think about and start planning for the future and shit? Her reaction is kind of like the one women get when they see a baby. The reaction that makes them kind of want one. Does this mean Ivy’s already wanting a family? I’d be more than happy to start right now.
“Are you hinting at something?” I blurt.
“What?” Ivy asks, looking back at me.
“Are you hinting at something?” I repeat.
“Why do you think I’m hinting at something?” she asks.
“Most women drop hints when they want something…a car…jewelry…a house…marriage…baby?” I explain.
“Do you want me to be hinting at something?” she asks, evading my question.
I shrug. “It’d be okay with me.”
“What would be okay with you?” she searches.
“All of those things…you know, for you…for us…together,” I answer honestly.
Ivy’s demeanor changes suddenly and I can’t quite make it out. I think I might have freaked her out a little and I’m not sure if she doing that thing that women do which is to freak out when the guy isn’t freaking out about such serious, life-changing topics because they aren’t sure if the guy is being serious or not and she’s trying to hide the fact that she wants something but is afraid to admit she does.
“Well…if you like the house but want it someplace else,” I say. “I can build you the same thing wherever you want one. Any city, you name it.”
Ivy stares at me blankly as if she’s trying to process everything.
“Ivy?” I call.
She doesn’t reply.
“Ivy?” I repeat, moving closer to her. “Ivy.”
“What?” she says suddenly as if she’s snapping out of a trance.
“You okay, Firefly?” I check, touching her arm.
“I’m good,” she claims though I know she’s lying.
“How about dinner?” I check, remembering that food usually calms her.
Her head bobs. “Food…food is good,” she says in a monotone voice, walking past me.
I curse under my breath, pissed about how the moment changed and feeling completely confused. Does she or doesn’t she want a house like this, a family with me, to get married?
Ivy gets in the truck first since she practically sprints to it. I take my time walking back, giving her a minute to collect herself as well as take a second to figure out if I should say something.
Once I get the door closed, I buckle up and start the engine, but I don’t start driving right away. “I…I didn’t mean to scare you,” I soothe. “I….”
“You didn’t,” Ivy says in an odd tone.
“Then, why are you acting weird?” I pry gently.
“I’m not,” she claims.
“Ivy….”
“I’m good…let’s go,” she insists.
“We’re supposed to talk, right?” I check.
“We are talking,” she claims.
“You’d tell me, right? You’re not just saying something to tell me what you think I want to hear?” I probe.
“No,” she states.
I nod. “I know that we’re catching up,” I sigh. “We can take things slower. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to rush anything. It’s just that I’ve been waiting long enough for this day to happen and….” I stop the second I feel her hand over mine.
“Hey,” she says with a smile. “I’m good, really.”
I study her and notice that just like that, my Ivy is back. I smile and nod before I raise her hand to my lips, dusting a few light kisses on her knuckles.
19 Ivy
Henry and I rode the rest of the way in a bubble of odd silence between the two of us. Aside from being tired and hungry, my brain and body were on overload with all the things that have been said and done since I came back.
I admit, I panicked as soon as he said he’d build me a house like the one we stopped at anywhere I wanted it. What really freaked me out was what he said and how he said things about a family, marriage, a baby, and wanting to give them to me. I want them. I want them with him. I got scared when I realized that Henry would probably be okay finding out that I have a son. I freaked because I wasn’t ready to tell him. I’m not sure why. He has every right to know if we’re going to move forward beyond what we ever were and currently are.
I
’m starting to feel very confused. I know what I want, but at the same time, I feel like I don’t know how to get it. I’ve created my own conundrum. When I was a teen, I knew exactly what I wanted and didn’t hesitate to tell people or go after it whereas Henry didn’t. As an adult and a mother, I have no fucking clue, yet Henry seems to have it all figured out.
“I’m sorry, Ivy,” Henry’s voice says, breaking the long silence between us as we sit at the restaurant, waiting for our food to be delivered.
“For what?” I barely eek out.
“For pushing,” he sighs, taking a sip of his beer.
“Pushing?” I ask, unsure of what he means.
Henry gives me a pleading look.
“We’ve both pushed,” I announce. “Let’s continue to do what we’ve done since I’ve gotten here.”
“Have sex every day?” Henry checks with a smile.
I can’t help but laugh. “We continue to talk. We continue to grow. We continue being us…and yes, we continue having sex.”
“Good,” Henry sighs with relief. “I was kind of worried I might be saying and doing too much.”
“Not at all,” I reply. “I like it.”
“You do?” he checks.
“I do…a lot,” I return with a grin.
After dinner, Henry and I don’t make it back to his place to have sex. Instead, he pulls over onto a dirt path, hiding the truck just beyond the tree line. We start off in the front cab and eventually finish in the truck bed. Henry begs for me to stay the night with him, but I tell him that I’m not ready for that. He asks if it’s because he is still at Julianna’s house, and I can’t lie. I admit that it made me feel a little weird. As we approach my parents’ house, Henry reveals that he’s in the process of selling Julianna’s. He also says that he wants to buy a house, but thinks that an apartment would do him better for the time being. Henry hints to wanting to be available to move more easily, should someone, me, want to live somewhere else.
We sit on my parents’ front porch swing for a long while, holding each other as we watch the world around us. The fireflies sprinkle their magic across the yard and a smile forms on my lips at the thought of my nickname. Tonight is calm, serene, and it makes me think of my son. He would love it here out in the wilderness.
“I like this,” Henry says softly in my ear.
“Me too,” I reply.
“I don’t want to leave,” he chuckles. “But, I know you’re getting tired.”
“Part of me wants you to come in,” I admit sheepishly.
“Yeah?” he returns.
“Just a little,” I say, downplaying it.
“You can still come back to the barn if you want,” he offers sweetly.
“Tempting,” I reply, kissing him. “But, I should stay here.”
Henry nods as our lips stay connected. He pulls me onto his lap. “I want you,” he hums into my neck. “More than you can imagine.”
I giggle as his breath tickles my skin.
“You drive me crazy, Firefly,” Henry says. “I’ve finally gotten to taste you again and it’s like I need you more than all the years I didn’t.”
“You do the same to me,” I confess.
Henry deepens our kiss, sliding his fingers up the back of my shirt. My arms tighten around his neck and we stay connected for a long while: kissing, touching, caressing.
“You need to get inside,” Henry states.
I pout.
Henry laughs. “If we keep doing this,” he claims. “It won’t be long before we’re naked and your Papa is running after me with his shotgun for the things I’m going to do to you.”
“That wouldn’t be a good thing,” I giggle. “I like you in one piece…all of your pieces.”
Henry grins, catching my innuendo. “Go,” he commands sweetly, pushing me gently to a standing position.
Our fingers stay entwined as our bodies slowly peel apart.
Henry yanks me toward him, kissing me passionately one last time before holding the screen door open for me. “‘Night, Firefly,” he bids.
“‘Night, Henry,” I return, slowly closing the door and locking it in place.
Once in bed, I toss and turn, feeling troubled about how I’m going to explain to Henry that I have a son. For a woman who once had her life figured it, now it feels as if I could lose it all.
I get up late in the night, needing some tea to calm my nerves. As I sip my drink, I scroll through all of the photos I have on my phone of my son. I text Cece even though I know she won’t answer right away. My mind wanders back, wondering if and how things would be confusing and if Henry is ready to learn everything about my life that he doesn’t know.
Anytime I met a guy for a date in the past, the topic of my son would come up. The men never called asking for a second night out and usually skipped out on me not long after finding out. I wasn’t going to lie or hide the fact that my son is in my life. A man needs to be able to know what he’s getting into. It’s just funny how women respond the exact opposite with a single father, eager to engage a man who has a child. It means that he’s stable—responsible. Men discover a woman has a child and they run in the opposite direction—even men with kids.
“Hey,” a low voice says, pulling me from my thoughts.
I turn and find Grady standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the main hall.
“Hey,” I sigh.
“Can’t sleep?” he asks, sitting down next to me.
“Nope,” I reply.
“Torn?” he checks.
“Yep,” I huff.
“I don’t think he’ll be mad,” Grady offers.
I smile. “Me too,” I answer. “Maybe after everything is explained.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been on your ass about it,” Grady says. “I just don’t like keeping secrets.”
“Since when?” I tease.
“You know what I mean,” Grady replies, nudging me. “Secrets from family…he’s family.”
“Momma said you two have become close,” I say.
Grady nods. “He’s become a good friend,” he shares.
“Good,” I reply. “I’m glad you’ve had someone to talk to.”
“Henry and I have done more than talk,” Grady states.
I lift a brow. “Is there something I should know about?” I goad.
“Gross,” he returns, shoving my shoulder. “Not that.”
“Sorry,” I giggle. “I couldn’t help myself.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Grady huffs.
Then, it hits me. Even though I’ve known my brother all these years, even while away, I’m just now seeing him for the first time. How could I have missed this? It’s so obvious looking back on things and seeing how he’s acted and how friends from New York have shared stories.
“You know it’s okay, right?” I say, hoping to not freak him out.
“What?” Grady inquires.
“To be yourself,” I encourage. “They’ll love you no matter who you love.”
Grady’s eyes bug out a little and I can tell my suspicions are correct.
“It’s okay,” I say, putting my hand on top of his. “I know.”
“Know what?” Grady denies.
I give him a glance, wanting him to know that I know what I’m talking about, but also that I love him and am not judging him. Grady stares at me blankly, trying to keep his face to be as devoid of emotion as possible.
“I have a friend you might like?” I present.
“What’s she like?” he questions.
“He, is sweet…a lot like you,” I inform.
“You mean she is sweet?” Grady checks.
“If that’s what you need to hear it as…sure,” I confirm.
“How long have you known…her?” he inspects.
“Since college,” I reply. “Not long after I met Cece.”
Grady nods but doesn’t comment.
“I love you,” I say, squeezing his hand. “That won’t change things between us. That won’t c
hange between you, Momma, and Papa.”
“You don’t know that,” Grady says lowly, opening up just a bit.
“I do,” I confirm with a smile. “I’m the one who got knocked up, remember?”
“Yeah, but you’ve got your own business,” Grady reminds.
“I know you’re working,” I state. “Do they?”
“No. Not really,” Grady returns.
“Why not?” I search.
He shrugs. “It’s never good enough compared to what you do,” he claims.
“Oh, Grady,” I sigh, shifting so I can hug him. “You silly man. Don’t you know…it’s not a competition with anyone other than yourself.”
“Sure, it is,” he argues softly.
“No, sweetie,” I confirm. “It’s a matter of if you’re happy being who you are, doing what you love, with the people you love…nothing else.”
“Really?” he questions, not convinced.
“They just want to see you happy,” I share. “Honest. I know because that’s what I want…just for you to be happy.”
Grady regards me for a long time. “Your friend…is…is….”
“Is he single? Yes,” I confirm.
“No, I mean…is he someone I’ve met before?” Grady checks.
“In passing,” I say. “You weren’t around him long enough to discover that on your own…but, most people who know him don’t even know. Not unless he shares.”
“What do you mean?” Grady searches.
“He’s like you,” I state. “The non- stereotypical type that Hollywood makes you out to be. Most times when we’re out together, they think we’re a couple.”
Grady nods with a small grin.
“I think you two would get along,” I mention.
“Will you introduce us the next time I come up?” he inquires nervously.
“I’d be happy to,” I agree. “We’ll go out. Just you, me, Cece, and him.”
“Cool,” Grady sighs. “But, please don’t say anything to anyone. I’m not ready…yet.”
“Just like me,” I remind.
“I’m so sorry I’ve pushed you,” Grady says honestly. “I really am. I….”
Hot Georgia Rein Page 14
