by Debra Webb
After letting Nancy know she planned to take a short break in her office, Lisa grabbed a pack of snack crackers and a juice box from the small kitchenette that served as a staff lounge and retreated to her private office.
Dropping into the chair behind her desk, she quickly ripped opened the crackers. By the time she’d downed half of them, plus the juice, she felt better, her tummy settling down. Greg was probably having lunch in his office, too. He and Lisa rarely ate together, mostly because Lisa didn’t want to encourage him. Greg Seaborn was a terrific partner. The best. He was a little older than her—thirty-one—and had the absolutely best bedside manner. Everybody loved him. He was so good with the animals. Nothing ever seemed to test his patience. Even Lisa became irritated from time to time, usually with an owner rather than a pet. But not Greg. He was easygoing and good-natured to the end.
And he had a huge crush on her.
Lisa heaved a sigh. Greg truly was a terrific guy. So nice and really cute. She wouldn’t actually call him muscular, but he was trim and athletic looking. He rode his bike to work every day. His sandy-colored hair was always neatly combed. Even the gold, wire-rimmed glasses didn’t detract from his pleasant face or those warm green eyes.
Greg was thoughtful. He never forgot her birthday. His manners were impeccable. They had a world of interests in common. Both loved animals—any kind. Horseback riding and biking. Soft rock and pop music. Slow dancing. Art. Museums. Even the occasional game of golf.
As if that weren’t enough, they attended the same church. Every Sunday he would wave to her as she took her seat next to her mother.
And he adored Lisa.
So what was the problem?
She closed her eyes and tried to slow the sudden spinning in her head. She shouldn’t be doing this. She should be resting her mind, as well as her body. Why put herself through this torture?
Because of the baby.
This child needed a mother and a father. A stable home.
She couldn’t help thinking about her own childhood. Sure, there were ups and downs in any family, but her parents stood by each other, were true to each other, and were always there for their children. Together.
Every child should have a home life like that.
Her hand went instinctively to her abdomen. Would her child have a life like that?
The answer was up to her, wasn’t it?
Life with Joe Ripani would be anything but calm and steady—more like a roller-coaster ride.
Yes, he made her blood boil. Yes, he was a good man. But he just wasn’t marriage material, and definitely wasn’t father material.
Not like…Greg.
The tears came before she could stop them. Not a quiet-flow-down-the-cheeks kind either. She actually sobbed out loud. She couldn’t stop herself. The emotions just burst from her as if she were ten all over again and had fallen from the tree house she and Kate had fashioned in their favorite tree. Lisa’s arm had been broken and the pain had been nearly unbearable for a child. Her mother had comforted her with sweet words and soft assurances on the way to the hospital, and by the time they arrived at the E.R., her father had been there, as well. A safety net. A security blanket. Love and support. She’d never had to worry.
Until now.
She grabbed a handful of tissues as another flood of tears threatened.
“Lisa.”
Greg. Oh God.
“I’m fine,” she managed to say hoarsely. She blew her nose and blotted her tears with a wad of tissue. “Really,” she said, not making eye contact. “I’m fine.”
He was behind her desk and crouched next to her before she could suck in a ragged breath.
“No, you’re not.” He pushed the hair behind her ears. “Talk to me, Lisa. After yesterday’s trauma, it’s not unusual to feel emotional. You were almost killed. You just need to talk it out.”
She looked at him then. There was genuine concern in those kind eyes. He did care. He was such a good guy. Why couldn’t she have fallen for him instead of…? God, she didn’t even want to think his name.
The baby.
His baby.
How would she ever provide the right kind of home for this child? A kid needed both a mother and father. But could she…could this child survive Joe Ripani? Her heart squeezed at the idea that even now he was likely out there risking his life for someone else’s.
“Please, Lisa,” Greg urged softly, “talk to me. You know I’m always here for you.”
And that was the bottom line.
She needed dependable.
Joe couldn’t in a million years give her that.
“Oh, Greg, I’ve really made a mess of things,” she admitted, her breath catching miserably. She was such an idiot. “I can’t believe I let this happen.”
He stood, reached for the box of tissues and offered it to her. When she’d taken it, he settled on the edge of her desk and waited for her to explain.
“Okay,” she said, taking a deep, bolstering breath. She couldn’t keep this a secret. Greg would know eventually. Everyone would, once she began to show.
Greg was her partner here. She owed him the truth. Summoning every ounce of courage she possessed, she settled her gaze on Greg’s expectant one and said, “I’m pregnant.”
To his credit, he didn’t allow the shock he must have felt to show. He simply said, “I take it you just learned this at the hospital yesterday.”
She nodded.
“Everything is all right?” he asked, concern in his voice.
She nodded again. “I…I just don’t know what to do…” Closing her eyes, she shook her head. “How could I have let this happen?”
“Do you want the child?” he asked gently.
Her eyes shot open. “Of course.”
But then he must have known that would be her answer. His sad smile attested to that knowledge. He reached for her hand and patted it soothingly. “It’ll be all right, Lisa. You’ll make a wonderful mother. You have a kind, supporting family.” He squeezed her hand with firm confidence. “Everything will be fine. You’ll see.”
Another sound of anguish burst from her and the tears started anew. She wasn’t usually such a crybaby, but this…
“How can I do this alone?” The words poured out, as unstoppable as the tears. She sniffled and hugged her arms around herself. Would the other kids make fun of her child at school if he didn’t have a father? Or had people’s views on the matter changed enough that she wouldn’t have to worry? “I can’t believe I let this happen,” she repeated. Where was the responsible person she’d always been?
His touch gentle but firm, he pulled her to her feet and into his arms. For long minutes he simply held her that way, offering soothing words that everything would be fine. He made that same confident promise over and over.
When her emotional tirade had at last subsided and she drew back from his comforting embrace, she felt as embarrassed as hell. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. “I didn’t mean to fall apart on you.” But he was the one person she could do just that with and have no regrets. She’d needed to spill it all out to someone.
“I understand. This is a big deal. An enormous change.”
She nodded and wiped her cheeks with the backs of her hands.
“Joe Ripani is the father,” he said carefully.
That was the other thing about Greg. He would never put anyone down. Even the man who’d gotten the woman he wanted for himself pregnant.
How could any guy be this nice?
She nodded again, feeling very much like a bobble-headed idiot. “I really screwed up, didn’t I?” Greg knew Joe’s reputation. No one could find fault with Joe’s professional conduct, but when it came to women…
“We all make mistakes, Lisa,” he said. “Don’t beat yourself up. What’s done is done. You want the child and that should be your focus now.”
She sagged against the desk. “But how will I ever be able to do this? He’ll…he’ll make it so hard.”
Greg would
understand what she meant. Joe Ripani was a local hero, a legend almost, and utterly honorable. He would want to take care of his child.
“You have choices, Lisa.”
The firmness of Greg’s tone startled her and she looked up at him. “What do you mean?” Her head was starting to throb again. She needed another painkiller.
“Why does it have to be Joe?” Greg straightened from the desk, those green eyes more certain than she’d ever seen them. “Why not me? Why not choose me?”
“I…” She didn’t get what he meant. “I don’t understand.”
“Marry me, Lisa. You know how I feel about you.” He took her by the arms and held on tightly. “I care deeply for you. I’ll care for this child just as much…as if it were my own. You have a choice here.”
“You want to marry me?” she asked, stunned and clearly a little slow on the uptake. Why would he want her now?
He smiled. “In a heartbeat. Just say the word and we’ll do this right. I will never let you or this child down.”
Before she could manage to respond, he reiterated his proposal. “Marry me, Lisa.”
CHAPTER SIX
WEDNESDAY MORNING brought a bright new start for Joe, as well as the shaken residents of Courage Bay. The sun shone like a big ball of fire in the blue sky, offering hope and flooding the recovering city with renewed optimism.
Everything would be okay. Life would go on.
He could almost hear that mantra with each breath he drew as he climbed into his truck and headed toward the station house. Though he was supposed to be on R & R—rest and relaxation—he intended to stop by and check on his buddies from the squad who were on call today. He’d heard that some of those guys had endured harrowing experiences similar to his after the quake. He needed to pass along the praise he felt swelling in his chest.
Courage Bay firefighters were the best. Especially those at Jefferson Avenue Firehouse.
The emergency services in the city had worked together like a well-oiled machine, and there was still much to do. But Joe felt confident that his team was ready to do its part.
After an adrenaline-pumping visit with his buddies, he intended to question O’Shea regarding her lunch date yesterday and then to confront Lisa about the baby.
She’d had plenty of time to come to terms with the news. A part of him was thoroughly disappointed that she hadn’t at least called. But, he reminded himself, this was a big deal. A really big deal. Maybe she did need more time. He knew that Lisa didn’t like making snap decisions. She preferred to consider all her options before making a move.
He grinned. Well, there had been one thing they’d never wasted time deliberating about.
Making love.
Neither of them had taken more than a split second to consider the repercussions of tearing each other’s clothes off. Rational thought simply hadn’t entered into the equation.
The memory alone elicited a near spontaneous combustion. Every muscle in his body turned to granite.
Joe blew out a tight breath. As phenomenal as the sex had been, he had to remember that behavior like that was not typical for Lisa. He had her personality nailed down.
And there was a hell of a difference between having sex and having a baby.
Still, he wasn’t going to be left out of any decisions she might make.
A tinge of fear doused the heat simmering deep inside him. She wouldn’t consider…
No way. Lisa would never do that. She loved children too much. He could see it in the way she interacted with the kids who brought their pets into her clinic. She would never in a million years consider terminating the pregnancy. She had far too much respect for life.
Though that didn’t worry him, there were other decisions that had to be made. The kid would need a name and there was the question of who would take care of the baby while they worked. Lisa was as dedicated to her profession as he was to his. He’d heard his buddies talk about day-care dilemmas. Finding good care wasn’t easy. His mother was a retired schoolteacher with plenty of free time.
Why not ask her?
His mom would definitely take good care of his kid, especially since it would be her first grandchild.
But maybe Lisa would want her own mother to do the child-care thing. Either one would be okay, he supposed.
And then there was the issue of religion. Lisa’s family was Catholic and Joe’s was Methodist.
Damn. That opened up a whole other can of worms. Where would the rugrat go to church on Sundays? Not that Joe went that often, but it was different with a kid. A kid needed proper spiritual guidance. A solid foundation.
And what about ball games and camping trips. Of course, that was down the road a ways, but what if Lisa married some other guy? Who would take his son to see the Angels win the World Series? Or head out to the mountains for his first camping trip? Fury roared inside Joe. It damn sure wouldn’t be some other jerk. He clenched his jaw hard enough to crack the enamel of his teeth. No damn way.
Joe braked for a traffic light. Then again, the baby could be a girl. Girls needed dance lessons and dolls. Worry seared into his skull. He didn’t know anything about dance lessons and dolls. Hell, the only thing he knew about dance was that a ballerina wore a tutu and looked like a fairy. And did a Barbie count as a real doll?
Then there would be boys and dating.
A new kind of rage mushroomed in his chest. Who would protect her from all those boys? He knew what boys had on their minds 24/7. Sex. Nothing but sex. Any boy who tried to have sex with his daughter would die a seriously painful death, by God.
A horn blasted behind him, dragging Joe from his blood pressure–raising ruminations. Just let some boy try to touch his daughter.
He stomped the accelerator and rocketed through the intersection. There would be rules for dating his little girl. Strict rules.
Joe was at the end of the next block before he noticed the blue lights throbbing in his rearview mirror. He swore and eased over to the curb. Shaking his head, he called himself every kind of fool as he lowered the driver’s-side window. He’d probably been speeding while worrying about the daughter he didn’t even have yet.
Jeez, if it was this bad now, how the hell would he survive when the kid actually got here?
“Good morning,” the traffic cop commented dryly as he strolled up to the window. “Where you headed in such a hurry this morning?”
It took Joe a full two minutes to talk his way out of a ticket. He had a feeling that if the officer hadn’t remembered Joe’s name from the rescue at the parking garage, he’d have given Joe a ticket anyway. The pregnant woman who’d waited outside while her mother went to get the car had been the officer’s wife.
“Just try to keep your mind on business while driving, okay, Captain Ripani?”
Joe managed a smile and a vague nod. “Sure thing. Thanks for letting me slide this time.”
When the officer started to walk away, Joe called after him. “Hey, do you have kids at home, besides the one on the way, I mean?” He didn’t know what possessed him to ask the question, but he suddenly needed to hear someone else’s experience.
With a grin, the guy spun back around and whipped out his wallet to show off his brood.
He had two boys and one girl already. The one on the way was a girl, as well, according to the latest ultrasound. And the last, he added succinctly.
“So, tell me,” Joe ventured, scratching his head as he dredged up the courage to ask what he desperately needed to know. “Is having a kid—the first one especially—is it hard?”
“Got one on the way, have you?”
Joe nodded uncertainly.
“It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do, pal.” He braced his hands on the roof of Joe’s truck and leaned in a little closer as if what he was about to say was top secret. “But there’s nothing else in the world like it. The sex department kind of goes to hell after kids come into the picture, but…” He shook his head. “There’s no way to adequately describe how it
feels when you see your child for the first time.”
The radio clipped to his belt crackled and the officer straightened. “Well, gotta go.” He gave Joe a thumbs-up. “Be safe now. Remember, kids learn by example.”
For several minutes after the officer had gone, Joe just sat there in his truck. The guy’s friendly advice had driven one point all the way home.
Everything in Joe’s life was about to change.
The sex department kind of goes to hell kept ringing in his ears. But even more frightening was that final remark.
Kids learn by example.
What kind of role model would he be?
What if he did everything wrong?
Where was the manual on how to do this right?
Joe forced the thoughts from his head and checked the street so he could pull back into the flow of traffic.
His mood—his whole damn demeanor—wilted as he headed toward the station house.
He was going to be a father and he didn’t have the slightest idea how to be a good one.
His old man had been a great guy. Though he’d passed on when Joe was a senior in high school, Joe had lots of great memories. He and his two brothers had never questioned their father’s support. Joe’s dad had been at every game, taken them camping, taught them to drive. His tragic death in a hotel fire while on a business trip was what had made Joe want to become a fireman.
And Joe wanted to be the best of the best, to ensure that no one in his jurisdiction had to die like his father. Joe had wanted to make a difference.
He’d done what he’d set out to do. He was among the best of the best, just as the rest of his squad was. But could he be a good father?
That was the real question here.
And there was only one acceptable answer in Joe’s opinion.
Damn straight he could be.
Things were a little calmer at the station this morning. Some members of the duty squad had already been called out for recovery detail.
Joe would prefer to be with them, but he knew the hazards of failing to get proper time off. Running on empty was a bad thing in this line of work. He’d learned that the hard way.
