She’d dropped her eyes to Derek while she was talking, but now she glanced at Riley again. He looked interested, curious even and she felt like a fool as she went on, “This is so clichéd.” She really didn’t want to tell him the rest.
“I’m not sure I know the meaning of that word, so tell me anyway.” He was teasing her, trying to get her to lighten up. He’d always been able to do that.
“It still hurts, Riley.” Maybe she hadn’t known that before this moment, but right now she did. “I thought Thad and I were going to get married. We had looked at rings. And then one night that I had worked late but Charlene hadn’t, I came home earlier than expected and found them together. Afterward Thad explained he was unfaithful because he didn’t want to get married. That was his way out. But after I rented another apartment and we broke up, he married Charlene! Working beside her was so awkward. I was ready to step outside the boundaries of what I had done at Girard and that’s when I went out on my own.”
After a few beats of silence and Derek’s little sighing noises, Riley said, “So the breakup turned into something positive for you.”
She had looked at it that way, too. “I would have gone out on my own at some point, but yes, that was the impetus.”
“You loved him?”
Now there wasn’t any teasing in Riley’s eyes, nor amusement, nor anything light. He wanted the truth.
“I don’t know if I know how to love, Riley. I left you to be loyal to my family, to grow up and become a person in my own right. And Thad...maybe he was simply part of the dreams many young girls have—the white gown, the veil, the grill, the backyard and family. Dreams were tied into what I had with him.”
“So he crushed your dream, and that’s why it still hurts.”
“Have you taken Psych 101?”
That brought a smile from Riley again as he sat up on the side of the bed, his knees almost touching hers. That trembling awareness was there, shifting into high gear. “Nope, no psych courses. But on a black night in a bunker guys talk, and there are lots of stories to share. Everybody has a dream to get them through tough times...to bring them home. I learned a lot about human nature.”
She supposed he had. She could see it in the lines around his eyes, around his mouth, in the set of his shoulders and the jut of his jaw. “And what was the dream that brought you home?” It was suddenly very important that she know that.
He looked down at his boots and then back up at her. “Family. A place like this.”
She’d expected those answers, but she’d also wondered about something else, just as he had. “So when did you last have someone special?”
He met her gaze unwaveringly. “Having someone special was tough when I was constantly being deployed.”
Something in his voice alerted her. “But you tried?”
“I tried—a couple of times. But you know my opinion of women, Brenna. They don’t stay when the times get tough. Times are tough when you have to wait for someone. Times are tough when a couple is in two different parts of the world. My last relationship was with a journalist and... I should have known better.”
As soon as he said the words, he looked as if he wished he hadn’t. He nodded to Derek. “I think he’s settled in for the afternoon. And I think we’ve had enough soul baring to last us a year.”
If Riley thought that was soul baring, he didn’t know what soul baring was. They’d been trading experiences and romantic pasts, that’s all. Maybe that’s all the deeper the two of them would ever go...unless they were talking about Derek.
She’d let her guard down with Riley today. She’d let him see that she cared. And they both knew she didn’t just care for their son’s sake. She cared about Riley. But she would not fall for him again. She couldn’t. Because this time if they broke apart, she might not be able to put her heart back together.
For the next week Brenna went her way and Riley his. His work commitments kept him away all day, sometimes into the evening. On her part Brenna worked when she wasn’t caring for Derek, had lunch with Celeste and took Derek to visit her mom again. While her mother cooed over the baby, Brenna dodged any personal questions and came home more tired than if she’d spent a sixteen-hour day at the office or in her store. She wasn’t getting enough sleep, but she didn’t have time to sleep.
On Saturday night Riley received a late night phone call. His fishing trip for the next day had been cancelled. The family that had hired him had come down with the flu. So he was around on Sunday as Brenna handled Derek and work. Without making a big deal of it, he took over handling the baby so she could concentrate longer and better. He even cooked supper—roast chicken with mashed potatoes and fresh vegetables. As she sat down to dinner and baby-talked at Derek in his little swing, she appreciated everything Riley had done for her that day.
Her phone rang. She picked it up, saw that it was one of her assistants, then answered it.
After she’d finished and hung up, Riley asked, “Want me to warm your plate in the microwave?”
“No, it’s fine. I was only on five minutes.”
“More like fifteen.”
They ate quietly, both of them talking to Derek, a tension between them that stemmed from being together in the same place...at the same time.
When their gazes connected, Brenna looked away. Riley was a little too quiet and she wondered what was coming. His care of Derek today, the nice dinner...
She braced herself.
Finally when he set a dish of berries in front of her with a dollop of whipped topping, she definitely knew something was brewing. She ate a spoonful, tickled Derek’s foot, played with his little hands, made sure he was content.
“Brenna?”
There was that tone of voice that said Riley wanted to talk. She was almost afraid to hear what he wanted to discuss. “What?”
“Derek will be fine for a few minutes. I need to have a conversation with you.”
“I’m right here, Riley.”
“I need your attention.”
“You’ve got it.” She folded her arms over her chest, not even realizing it.
As she stared at him, he just shook his head. “You’re not making this easy.”
“What am I not making easy? Don’t you think I had a feeling about this? You helped me with Derek all day, you made dinner, you even served dessert. That’s not our usual day. Of course I think something’s up. So, what is it?”
“We need to discuss joint custody. I want to know my son. I can’t know him if I don’t spend time with him. So whether you’re in New York and I’m here, I still want that time.”
She stood up from the table, all ready to gather up Derek and run.
But he stood, too, and clasped her shoulders. “Don’t be afraid of this, Brenna. You can trust me with him. Can’t you see that?”
“Even if I can trust you with him, I don’t want to be away from him. I’m his mother. What are you thinking?”
Riley kept his tone even. “Possibly a long weekend to start. Then maybe a week. Then after a while, maybe two. Maybe I could take him for a month and then you’d have him for a month.”
Panic made it hard for her to speak. “And what would you do when you work?”
“What are you going to do when you work?”
She was ready for that one. “I have day care lined up, a wonderful woman who’s like a grandmother to him.”
“And I have a family that would be glad to help out. If I need recommendations for sitters, Shannon and Sean have helpers they already use. Working isn’t an insurmountable obstacle, as you know.”
She was close to tears. “Riley, he’s my baby.”
Riley’s voice was teeming with compassion. “I understand. Really, I do. And no matter how old he gets, he will always be your baby. That’s the way good mothers feel. But I’m
his dad, and we made this situation, and we have to make it right. So just think about all of this...because it’s going to happen, Brenna. We’ll have to compromise. But I will have my son some of the time and you’ll have him the rest of the time.”
The idea caused such turmoil she couldn’t blink fast enough to keep tears from falling.
Riley took her into his arms and held her.
She rested her head on his shoulder as if she could find safety there. Yet she knew better...because Riley still might be the enemy.
Chapter Six
When Brenna’s cell phone rang the next day, she grabbed it, hoping it was Riley. After feeding Derek at five, she’d fallen back to sleep. Riley had been gone when she’d awakened, and he’d left a note.
Gone to see a prof at Northern Arizona U. about planning to take a class to the Grand Canyon. Should be home by lunchtime.
He liked what he did, that was obvious to see. She hadn’t been to the Grand Canyon in years. It would be terrific to go with him, to stand there on the lip, just taking in all the beautiful colors and textures.
Her mind quickly cleared of that possibility when she checked the screen and saw the caller was her father.
“Hi, Dad. What’s up?”
“I’m sorry I missed you when you visited your mom.”
“I’m sorry I missed you, too.” Yet in some ways she’d been relieved. She hadn’t wanted to get into an argument about staying with Riley.
“Well, I’d like to see more of you while you’re here, and I figured out a way to make that happen.”
Uh-oh. When her father planned, she worried. “What do you have in mind?”
“Because of what you do, of course, you know that June is bridal month. I’m involved in a promotion here at the store and I thought you might like to help.”
He’d piqued her interest. “What is it?”
“A store-wide bridal event beginning June 1. We have a registry for gifts now. Katie Paladin and her flower shop will be doing all the floral arrangements in the bridal department. I thought you might like to bring in a few gowns from your store in New York and get involved in the PR. What do you think?”
Many thoughts were racing through her mind at once. First of all, she would not neglect Derek in order to be involved in everything. On the other hand, Riley wanted to spend more time with his son. Maybe this would be a perfect way to help it to happen. Secondly, doing this would be great publicity for her brand. She might be able to pull in new customers for her father’s store, not only from Flagstaff, but from Phoenix and Sedona. Bridals by Brenna was more well-known now. She could help hike up McDougall’s profit line as well as her own.
“This would have to happen pretty quickly, I would guess.”
“That’s why I’d like to get started. We have almost two weeks. Why don’t you come down here to the store.”
“I have Derek.”
“That’s fine. Bring him along. I’d love to see him. I’m sure I can handle him in my office if you want to check over the bridal department. We can get this going, have your gowns shipped within a week, ready everything for our June 1 sale.”
Her dad had always treated her like a princess and she loved him, in spite of everything. Maybe she could really connect with him again and convince him to make peace with Riley.
“It sounds like a lot of fun. I should be there in about forty-five minutes. Is that all right?”
“That works for me. See you soon.”
Brenna hung up her phone, wondering what she was getting herself into.
* * *
Every time Brenna walked into McDougall’s, a feeling of joy and excitement filled her. Holding Derek close to her in a sling against her chest, she whispered to him, “I grew up here.”
And she had, chasing after her dad, following him from department to department, asking all kinds of questions as she grew up. She liked the perfume counter with all of its beautiful scents that faced customers walking into the store. There were jars and tubes of cosmetics and a whole world to explore. She had explored it as a teenager, even more than her parents would have liked. To the left of that display was the shoe department, and she had to admit, she liked shoes. Even as a little girl she’d find as many as she could in her size and slip them on. When no one was looking, she’d slide into the high heels and think to herself, I’ll wear these someday.
Her dad had never believed in decorations for different seasons, not in the kind of tinselly way some stores did. Chandeliers hanging from the ceiling were classic. Each department decorated on its own and he left the managers in charge of that. Now she could see signs of the wedding event that he was planning. There were wedding bells sitting on the counters, cake toppers here and there, an antique car with a just-married sign positioned on a shelf.
On the left behind the shoes was the menswear department where Father’s Day signs stood. She’d explored there for presents for her dad for birthday and Christmas as well as Father’s Day. Women’s wear swept across the back of the store. Her father knew women were the shoppers both for themselves and for others.
Bypassing the elevator, she started up the wide staircase and smiled. Those steps had always reminded her of something from Gone with the Wind. On the second floor she wandered through home furnishings and housewares finally stepping into her very favorite part of the store of all—the bridal salon. There were a few gowns on mannequins, several hanging on tasteful clothes trees made of brass and solid wood. Part of the department was devoted to mother of the bride and attendants’ dresses, but she knew the essence of it was located through the archway into the lounge area where a round dais stood before her with a panel of six mirrors wrapped around it. This was where a woman stood to really see herself in a bridal gown. Her family sat in the chairs below to give their opinion.
Stopping to canvass one of the wedding gowns, Brenna spotted a huge placard on a stand that announced a bridal fashion show the first weekend in June. That really wasn’t the place for it. It should be in the lobby of the store. Her father needed to extend the bridal promotion into every department, to bring customers in to register for anyone getting married, and he needed to—
“So what do you think, Daughter? Did you notice your gowns over there?” He pointed to two on mannequins.
“I did. But this year’s ready-to-wear line is even better than last year’s. You need to update, Dad.”
“This is Miners Bluff,” he protested gruffly.
“That doesn’t mean every woman who’s getting married in Miners Bluff doesn’t look through all the bridal magazines and know what this season’s gowns look like. We’ve talked about this before.”
“Yes, we have, and now that you’re here for a little while, maybe you can convince me to make the changes you’d like to see.”
She eyed him. “Did you just put those gowns on display today and you really have this year’s gowns in the back?”
He laughed, and hung his arm around her shoulders. “Brenna, my dear, you give me credit for being much more devious than I actually am. I do have this year’s gowns in the back, but I’m saving them for the bridal show.” He pointed to the placard.
“Yes, and we have to talk about that, too.”
His eyes twinkled. “We do, do we?”
He held out his hands to her and asked, “Can I hold him?”
Her father really hadn’t had any time to spend with his grandson yet. Maybe she’d just taken it for granted that he’d be awkward with Derek, or not want to pick him up, or hold it against him that Riley was his father. But she didn’t see any of that as her father lifted Derek from the little sling, and cuddled him in the crook of his very large arm.
“He’s beautiful, Brenna,” he said, his voice a little husky.
It was unusual for her dad to show emotion, but now seeing it, she
felt a little misty-eyed herself.
“Why don’t we go to my office,” he said, “and we’ll talk about all this. I told you I hired Katie Paladin to create a different atmosphere in here for the month of June—more lavish, more elegant. She’ll be using her expertise with flowers for the bridal fashion show, too.”
“You know, don’t you, that having your models walk down that staircase to the first floor in the gowns would be awesome.”
He studied her. “And why was it you went to New York and opened your own store instead of helping me here?”
“Because I needed a life of my own.”
Angus narrowed his eyes and really looked at her, maybe as he hadn’t for a very long time. They’d had argument after argument about this after she’d gone to the Fashion Institute. She’d been determined to make her way in New York and he hadn’t understood her need for independence. But holding his grandson in his arms and assessing her attitude once again, he didn’t argue with her or defend his position.
He just said, “I have a fresh pot of boiling water in my office. Your mother says you’re into tea now, so I pulled some decaffeinated from the gourmet shelf. We can make one of those lists you’re so famous for about how I can increase sales and bring in more business. Times are tough for a lot of people right now.”
As they walked toward housewares, went down an aisle, and behind the department to his office, Brenna said, “And the first thing we have to do is try to make a wedding more affordable.”
His eyebrows quirked up. “You design one-of-a-kind gowns and sell them for thousands of dollars!”
“But I also have an off-the-rack line. Many brides save much of their budget for their gown. Maybe we should figure out how to make that the centerpiece of a backyard wedding.”
Angus shook his head. “I don’t know if I’m up for this.”
Brenna laughed because she knew better.
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