“You mean a celebration at the restaurant?”
She nodded, leaning into his shoulder again, feeling the comfort of his heat that was so much more than comfort, too.
“I think it’s a fine idea. But if he decides to ask your dad, I don’t know how that invitation will go over.”
They sat there in silence a few minutes until Brenna said, “I never really knew your dad. I only knew about...the rumors.”
“Alcohol changes a person. It changed him. We pretty much didn’t have a dad for a lot of years. He’d checked out.”
“But that’s not true any longer. He’s really turned his life around, and he seems very...caring. I admire someone who can do what he’s done.”
“He had to work hard at it. It wouldn’t have been so difficult if he hadn’t had to start over a second time.”
Pushing away from Riley, she straightened and gazed straight into his eyes. “Do you blame me for what happened with our families?”
“If you really think about it, our parents’ problems really have nothing to do with us.”
She wasn’t so sure about that. Their parents’ problems were all tied up in their relationship, too.
Slipping off his shoes, Riley stretched out on the bed and opened his arm to her. “Come here.”
“Riley, what are you doing? I can’t stay here.”
“Sure, you can. You need rest. I’ll get up if he cries again. We’ll both watch over him tonight.”
There was tenderness on Riley’s face and compassion, and she wasn’t going to look for anything else. He looked so sexy and strong, stretched out on his bed, his arm open to her. They’d had a night in this bed. She remembered every detail of it. But tonight he seemed to be offering her something different, something she needed much more than sex.
“Come on,” he said. “If you’re not comfortable here, you can always leave. But I think this will be easier for all of us.”
“At least for tonight,” she murmured, settling down beside him.
He smoothed her hair back from her brow.
“You’re a good mom, Brenna. There’s no doubt about that. You just have to figure out how to piece it all together. I’ll have your back, I promise you.”
Brenna didn’t know if Riley had ever made a promise to her before. Looking into his blue eyes, hearing the sound of his deep voice, wanting to believe with all her heart it was so, she took his hand and she closed her eyes, finally relaxing for the first time that day. She also let herself feel Riley’s fingers curled around hers...let herself think about not doing all of this alone.
* * *
A tiny sound from the crib next to Brenna’s side of the bed awakened her. She had become attuned to every sound Derek made. This one could be just a little huff because he was going to go back to sleep again, or it could turn in to a whole waking up routine that would require feeding, a bath and the start of their day.
Awake now, she realized exactly how she was sleeping. Riley was turned toward Derek and she was nestled against him. His long strong arms were around her as if she might escape while they were sleeping. How had this happened? When she’d fallen asleep, she’d barely been touching his hand, but now—
Derek whimpered, let out a little cry, and she wanted to scramble away from Riley before he woke up and found them that way.
But it was apparently already too late. As she started to slide away from him, his arm squeezed a little tighter.
“Don’t be in such a hurry. I might like to wake up like this every morning.”
He could be a charmer, he really could, and she’d fallen for that charm early on, with all the blarney that went with it.
Don’t go there, she told herself, just don’t. If you’re going to be parents together, you have to work at it together, not sleep at it together.
Since Derek’s cries were growing louder, she had the perfect excuse. “Thank you for getting up with him in the middle of the night. I really appreciated that. But now I’ll get him. Sleep as long as you want. Last night meant a lot to me, Riley. It really did.”
When she slid away from him, he levered himself up on his elbow. “If we had done something, what you said might have meant a little more.”
“Riley.” It was a scolding and he knew it.
He grinned at her anyway. “Just a suggestion, Brenna. Two people can do more than sleep when they’re in bed together.”
At the side of the bed now, she stood and went to Derek. “Yes, they can. But when they do, it can cause a mess of trouble. We know that, don’t we?”
Now his grin vanished. “Is it so bad being here with me?”
She could never be anything but honest with Riley O’Rourke. “No, it’s not bad. Sometimes it’s very good. But you don’t trust me or my family.”
“You all want to keep your own close to you. I understand that.”
Before they stepped into argument territory, she changed the subject. “Derek has an appointment with the pediatrician this morning for his hepatitis shot and a checkup. Are you taking out tourists today?”
“No, not today. What time—”
The phone at Riley’s side of the bed rang and she arched a brow at him. “Kind of early.”
“My brothers are early birds. Shannon can be, too. It could be anything from a car that wouldn’t start to needing a babysitter.”
After he answered the phone, he held his hand over the receiver and told her, “It’s Patrick.”
“I’ll take Derek into my room and feed him.”
“I won’t be on that long. Guys usually aren’t,” he joked.
She shook her head at him and took Derek into the other room.
Riley didn’t know why he liked to tease Brenna, probably to get a rise out of her. He liked to see those green eyes flash. He liked to see her look all indignant as if she wanted to stand right up to him and punch him in the nose. But then, of course, he’d kiss her instead. At least that’s the way he saw it. Holding her last night—
That had been an experience he’d like to repeat. But she was obviously having no part of it. She thought it would complicate their lives even more. He was of the opposite opinion. It might make their lives a lot easier.
When they were in the same state, that was. Ex-high school sweethearts with benefits?
“So Patrick, what’s up?”
“You. We haven’t seen you for a month. How about meeting me and Sean at the Tin Pan Tavern tonight? We can have a few drinks and catch up. I hear with you, there’s a lot to catch up on.”
Riley had been expecting this, dreading this, knowing he and his brothers wouldn’t agree on many issues. “I can’t do it tonight,” he said. “I want to spend as much time with my son as I can.”
Strained silence met his response. Finally Patrick asked, “What’s happening to you, Riley?”
“Nothing’s happening.”
“Do you even know for sure he’s yours?”
Riley wanted to shout, Yes, he’s mine. But his brother wouldn’t accept his gut instincts. “We should have the results of the DNA test soon.”
“I don’t get why you won’t meet us. So now when Brenna’s around, we can’t get anywhere near you?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Riley insisted, annoyed yet keeping his tone even. “In fact, why don’t the two of you come over here like Shannon did? You can meet Derek, we can order in pizza, we’ll have a nice night. We can even play some poker.”
“With Miss High-and-Mighty raising her nose and acting like she’s better than us?” Patrick’s voice was filled with the disdain his whole family had once felt.
“Brenna’s not like that,” Riley protested. “She never was. You were ahead of her in high school, so you didn’t know her. Sean was two grades lower in high school so he didn’t know her
. Have you talked to Shannon?”
“Oh, Shannon bonded with her because they both have kids. That shouldn’t enter into it. Her family made our lives hell.”
“No.” Riley was adamant. “Dad’s drinking made our lives hell.”
“Mom didn’t leave because he was drinking. He wasn’t heavy into it then. She left—”
Riley cut in. “She left because she didn’t want to stand by dad while he got back on his feet. She left because she didn’t want to be married to a short-order cook rather than the owner of a restaurant. She left because she was tired of taking care of us.”
“You don’t blame Angus McDougall for what happened to our family? Are you crazy, Riley?”
They had never talked about this out in the open before. The feud had been the gorilla in the room, but never spoken about. Well, now it was going to come out. All of it.
“Do you and Sean want to come over tonight and broaden this family a little? Don’t you want to meet my son?”
“Not while Brenna’s there. And I know I speak for Sean. We feel the same about this. You’d better watch it, Riley. The McDougalls think they’re entitled to anything they want. Angus feels entitled to being a big man in town and doing what he wants because of it. Brenna feels entitled because she left, made a name for herself and probably has as much money as her father. And because of that she’s going to feel entitled to your baby. Don’t think being nice to her is going to change any of it.”
No amount of coaxing, scolding or just plain getting angry would change his brother’s mind. Patrick’s attitude toward the McDougalls had always been bitter. But on top of that, he’d had a rough divorce. He only had limited time with his sons now and he resented that fact, too. Riley felt sorry for his brother but knew Patrick had to find his own happiness.
By the time he went to find Brenna, she was sitting in the rocking chair in her room, still feeding Derek. She’d covered herself, expecting him to come in. It was strange. He wanted to watch his son suckle at her breast, and not in a sexual way. He wanted to watch because Brenna was so natural with him and he got this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach when he saw them together.
She apparently thought folding a blanket so he couldn’t see Derek at her breast would save them both embarrassment. But he was still imagining how she’d look without that blanket.
When she saw his face, there must have been some sign lasting from his frustration with his phone conversation because she asked, “Is everything all right?”
Just how much should he say? He didn’t want to feed any bad feelings she had about his family, but he couldn’t just gloss over them, either.
“Patrick and Sean need their heads knocked together,” he admitted.
Her eyes widened in surprise. “That’s an unusual statement coming from you. You love your brothers.” But as soon as she said it, she knew. “Oh, me staying here. Riley, what can I do? Maybe we could invite them over.”
But Riley was already shaking his head. “I tried that. They won’t come.”
“They’d rather feed old bitterness instead of trying to find a reason to get along?”
When her voice shook a little, Riley hurt for her. This wasn’t her fault any more than it was his.
He crossed to her chair and tried to put the best face on it. “I believe they think they’re being loyal.”
“To your dad?”
“To my dad, to the O’Rourke name, to some kind of family code that says we should stand together and fight for what is right for all of us.”
“But what is right? What are they fighting for? What do they want?”
“You got me. I don’t even think an apology from your father would do it.”
“An apology from my father?”
Uh-oh. He’d stuck his foot in it again. “You know what I mean, Brenna. Just some sort of admission that what he did ruined my dad’s life.”
She looked as if there were a thousand words on her tongue and she was carefully not saying any of them. After what must have been fifteen deep breaths, she did say, “And is your father going to apologize to mine for ruining his reputation?”
Riley was about to rebut that when he suddenly knew better. That was exactly what had kept rubbing salt in the wounds all these years.
Hunkering down, he pushed a few tendrils of hair from her cheek. “Seeing us together sends my brothers a message they don’t like, but there’s nothing we can do about that. Sean’s wife will be more likely to see our point of view, then maybe Sean will, too. And Patrick...” He shrugged. “When everyone sees that you and my dad can be friends, and you and Shannon can relate, maybe then they’ll understand that this isn’t about the past, it’s about the present and the future.”
Whatever defensiveness had risen up in her seemed to evaporate. “Do you really believe that?”
“I do.”
She went very quiet as if she was debating about what she was going to say next. “And how do you feel about my father.”
Riley stood again and measured each word. “I don’t know your father. I only know what I’ve heard about him. I only know he made a business decision without considering the consequences. It’s the same as a guy who comes into a new company and fires fifty workers to enhance his bottom line. There’s not necessarily anything wrong with him enhancing his bottom line, but is there a moral problem with him firing the workers knowing they’re going to have trouble getting other jobs? It’s not an easy question, Brenna.”
“So my dad’s the bad guy in this because he’s a businessman and because he made a success of the store. There’s something you don’t know about my dad, and you have to swear never to reveal anything I’m telling you.”
If Brenna confided in him, that would mean she was starting to trust him. “I won’t say a word to anyone.”
She studied him keenly and he must have passed muster because she said, “My dad’s father thought disciplining meant beating. He still has scars on his back from the belt.”
“Brenna!”
She went on as if he hadn’t interrupted. “So my dad has always tried to be a perfectionist, always tried to control everything around him, always tried to make sure that he was the one who didn’t get into trouble. Your father’s restaurant was in the red. He hadn’t paid his rent for six months. My dad let him go on like that, hoping the restaurant would turn around. But your father needed to make some changes to do that and he didn’t want to. Dad knew he had to grow McDougall’s and he did what he had to do for our family. He didn’t mean to do your dad harm. He didn’t do it vindictively. Behind his business decision, my dad saw the welfare of his own family. He once told us he would never let anyone control him like his father had until he was old enough to leave. He wanted to be master of his own destiny, and that’s what he did. I’m sorry your dad was hurt, and your family, but my father isn’t the bad guy here, either.”
Riley just stared at Brenna and his son, wondering if motivation and intention were everything. His intention when he’d first dated her had been anything but pure. He’d wanted to take revenge on Angus McDougall by using his daughter. He felt ashamed of that now. He’d been rebellious and loyal and not very attuned to anyone’s feelings but his family’s. But then his affair with Brenna had turned everything on its head. If she ever found out for sure, would she understand? Why take that chance? He certainly didn’t want to push her away because that would push his son away, too.
When he was quiet, she said, “I know you love your dad, Riley, and I love mine. But I have a special bond with mine. When I was four, he saved my life. We had taken a vacation to California to visit a friend of his. Their family had had a pool. I’d wandered outside one day by myself and found the gate in the fence around the pool open. Before anybody had missed me, I’d caught sight of a ball in the pool, had gone to grab it and had fallen in. I didn’t kn
ow how to swim. Dad was the one who’d come rushing out. Dad was the one who’d jumped in with his clothes on, fished me out, and did mouth-to-mouth. Daddy was the one who’d ridden with me in the ambulance to the hospital to make sure I was all right.”
He felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. Recovering, he asked, “Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”
“Because you were as angry at my dad then as your brothers still are now. I guess I thought you wouldn’t believe me...that I was making it up to try to gain sympathy for him.”
Derek was sleeping now at Brenna’s breast, and the cover had slipped from her shoulder. Riley’s gaze focused on his sleeping son and her nakedness for a few seconds, and then he lifted his gaze to hers. Her cheeks pinkened a little and he looked down again.
When she covered her breast, he wondered if she already regretted everything she’d told him. He would cherish her confidence and hoped she realized that. He didn’t know what he was going to do about his brothers, but maybe his dad’s suggestion of a celebration would ease the tension and promote the family atmosphere they all really wanted.
He could hope.
* * *
Riley had insisted on coming with Brenna to the pediatrician. As they walked into the doctor’s office and sat in the waiting room, she had to admit she kind of liked Riley coming along. Ever since she’d learned she was pregnant, she’d been shoring up her courage to be a single mom. And she could do it. But since she’d been back in Miners Bluff, she realized how nice it was to share the responsibility.
Riley picked up a magazine and began to page through it, but he often glanced over at Derek. Once he reached out and touched his son’s cheek. Brenna’s heart melted whenever he did that. Fortunately Derek slept, because their waiting time became more extended. A half hour turned into forty-five minutes and Brenna checked her watch with a worried expression.
“What’s wrong?” Riley asked.
“I have a Phoenix client who was driving up for an appointment at eleven. We’re not going to be out of here. I’d better give her a call.”
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