She had nothing to show for her life that wasn’t attached to, or paid for, by her parents in some way. Though the car was in her name, her parents had paid for it. Yes, she worked for them, but it wasn’t the same as having to make her own way out in the world. She was indebted to them for everything she had. They paid her a handsome salary for her marketing skills, but she knew they wouldn’t pay her that much if she was a stranger off the street. She worked hard, but she hadn’t really earned what she had. More than anything, she wanted to be independent from her parents—to make her own way in the world, but how? She prayed that her agreeing to marry Benjamin was not just a way of breaking free from her parent’s money.
Vivian went down the stairs, feeling a little bewildered at her dilemma. She didn’t want to hurt Benjamin by trading her dependence on her parents for dependence on him. Before entering the kitchen, she said a simple prayer asking God to provide a way for her to marry Benjamin without being a burden to him or his family.
She entered the kitchen with a cheerful smile, ready to do whatever her would-be sister-in-law asked her to do.
Molly looked up when she entered the room, smiling and showing her the aluminum cookie cutters. “I’m going to bake cookies with you, mamm.”
Vivian stifled a gasp, hoping the term of endearment would go unnoticed by Katie.
It didn’t.
Katie dropped the set of stainless measuring cups on the butcher-block island in the center of the large, industrial kitchen. “What did you say, Molly?”
She looked up innocently at her Aunt Katie. “I told my new mamm we were going to bake cookies together.”
Katie tried to keep her face from twisting too much while she looked over at Vivian. “What makes you think Miss Vivian is your new mamm?” she asked as calmly as possible.
Molly giggled. “Because she married Daed, silly.”
Katie leered at Vivian, and then turned her attention to her niece.
“That was just a pretend game, Molly,” Katie said. “Your daed and Miss Vivian aren’t really married.”
Molly’s smile turned to a frown, as she slipped her hand into Vivian’s. “Does this mean you aren’t going to live in the cottage with us?”
Vivian swallowed hard around the lump in her throat, trying to keep her composure. “Your Aunt Katie is right, Molly, it was just a silly game. Your dad and I aren’t really married.”
Tears welled up in her big blue eyes that mirrored her father’s. “Don’t you want to be my mamm?”
Vivian couldn’t help but pull the child into her arms to comfort her while Katie pursed her lips and furrowed her brow at her. Ignoring Katie’s disapproval, she gave into the child’s worries.
“Of course I want to be your new mamm. But you know that a snowman can’t really marry two people. So we have to wait to get married by…”
She looked to Katie for approval, and to fill in her sentence as to who would marry them.
“Cousin Henry will marry them, sweetie, and then she’ll be your mamm,” Katie reluctantly filled in for her. “Go wash your face, and Miss Vivian and I will get things ready.”
She sniffled and nodded as she gently broke free from Vivian’s arms. When she was safely out of earshot of the two, Katie whipped her head around to face Vivian, her face twisted up with anger.
“What on earth are you making promises to that child for? She lost her mamm when she was just a baby, and she doesn’t need you breaking her heart all over again!”
“Who says I won’t keep my promise?” Vivian defended herself. “I have no intention of breaking her heart. I would like to marry your brother, and that would make me her mother—mamm!”
“Do you have any idea the sort of commitment you’re signing up for? You have been living a very materialistic life up till now, while we live very humbly. Can you give up your fancy life to marry my brother? With a ready-made family, you’ll have full responsibility with Molly—not just taking her skating for an hour one afternoon!”
“I know what I’m getting myself into,” Vivian said firmly. “As for my lifestyle—it’s my parents’ lifestyle—not mine. That’s why I’m here. They’ve been taking care of my financial needs all my life, but they’ve neglected my need for a family. I’d forgotten what family was until I came here. I want more than anything to marry Benjamin, and to be a mother to Molly, and hopefully have a child of our own someday, and I wish you would not judge me for my outside appearance, but by the heart that I have for your brother and niece.”
Katie’s expression softened. “I pray your eyes are truly open about this, and that you won’t break their hearts. They’ve been through too much already. Benjamin lost his wife to leukemia only a few years after my parent’s passed away. Molly was only three months old, and he had an awful time getting her to take a bottle. Many a night Simon and I took turns helping him with the night feedings, and…”
“I know I only just met Benjamin, but I feel as if I’ve known him all my life. We stayed up last night and talked well into the morning. I’m in this with my whole heart, and I don’t intend to break either of their hearts, because it would break mine in the process if I did.”
Molly came bouncing into the kitchen just then. “I’m ready to bake the cookies now.”
“We can finish our talk later,” Katie said cheerfully. “I got everything started so we wouldn’t lose any time. Since bread takes a while, I wanted to put it together ahead of time so it wouldn’t take up your entire day.”
Vivian felt bad all over again for what she’d said to her earlier. She must have sounded awfully spoiled to Katie, who was used to hard work.
“I’d like nothing more than to make cookies with the two of you right now. The garage offered to drop off my car here, so I have nothing else planned. I’m ready for my lesson; I just hope I don’t disappoint you.”
“You couldn’t disappoint me,” Katie said kindly. “I had to teach myself how to cook since I was still young when my mamm passed on. My aunt tried to teach me before she passed, but her health was so poor, I’m surprised she even agreed to take us in.”
The three of them got to work mixing all the ingredients to make the cookie dough while they waited for the bread dough to rise. Katie told Vivian stories of Christmases from her childhood, and the traditions her brothers had carried on for her since her parents had passed on.
“Does your family have any traditions?” She asked Vivian after a long silence.
“We used to have the best holiday traditions up until I was about twelve. After that, the only tradition my parents kept was fighting over who I would be spending the holidays with.” Vivian explained. “Christmas hasn’t felt the same since they separated.”
“They didn’t divorce?” Katie asked.
“No, they’re both too stubborn, and unwilling to divide me or their assets.”
“I’m sorry to hear that—not that they didn’t divorce, but that they didn’t get back together.”
“That’s why I chose to come here. To have some sense of holiday tradition. It really feels like home here, and I hope you’ll feel the same about me as time goes by.”
“It might take a little getting used to—the idea of you and Benjamin, but my only concern is my brother’s happiness.” She turned to Molly, and included her in the conversation. “We’re certainly enjoying having you here.” Katie smiled, feeling guilty for thinking earlier that she hadn’t wanted her to continue her stay with them.
Molly looped her arm in Vivian’s. “I’m happy I’m getting a new mamm.”
Vivian smiled at Katie’s kind words, and silently prayed she wasn’t just saying it for the sake of keeping peace in front of Molly. She hadn’t felt at home anywhere in so long, and the sense of belonging made her happy. She was becoming more and more in love with Benjamin and his life here than she expected.
“So what is everyday life like here—when it isn’t a magical holiday season?” Vivian asked.
Katie showed Vivian how to knead the dou
gh, pausing as she reflected on her life in the community for a moment. “Life here is simple, but in a good way. It can be tough, and a lot of hard work. It’s been worse since our parents passed, but Benjamin and Simon have taken good care of me. I’ve attempted to take on mamm’s role, but they don’t take me seriously, even though I’m almost of marrying age.”
“So you’ll be getting married soon?” Vivian was shocked. Katie was quite a bit younger, and she couldn’t imagine thinking about marriage at her age.
Katie got a dreamy look on her face. “I’ve been waiting to be old enough to start courting for a while. It’s my dream to take on a role as a wife and become a real mother. Soon, hopefully. And then there’ll only be men here to take care of the place until Molly gets old enough to help. I was thinking I should hire another girl to take on my responsibilities. Or perhaps when my brothers marry, then they would take my place. But if Simon marries Mennonite or Amish, she won’t have to be trained—not like—well, you would.”
Vivian’s breath caught in her throat at Katie’s comment. She hadn’t considered that Benjamin might have been expected to marry Amish or Mennonite. Would he expect her to take Katie’s place? She’d given it some thought about how it would be to work at the B&B and live there. She thought about her feeling of belonging, and prayed they would last forever. The last thing she wanted was to have her life turn out like her parents, where nothing was ever enough for them. Was it possible the open position at the B&B was just what Vivian needed to become independent from her parents? Was this the answer to her prayer? There could be no other explanation for it. She didn’t want to be a burden to Benjamin or her parents, and if she learned to take care of the B&B, it would turn her into the perfect helpmate for Benjamin when they married.
“I would love to take the job. I don’t know much about all this stuff, but you could teach me. I feel at home here, and working here seems like the perfect place for me.” Vivian rambled excitedly. She didn’t mention that, God-willing, she’d be marrying Benjamin as soon as possible. That could wait until later, when Molly wasn’t around—just in case it stirred up more debate.
Katie was surprised Vivian showed any interest in running the B&B for good, and wondered if it had only to do with Benjamin. A woman like Vivian didn’t offer to turn her life around from worldly and wealthy to humble and hard-working for no reason. She’d gotten the impression that Vivian was sort of spoiled, and wasn’t sure how it would work out. She gave a great speech to her a few minutes ago, but Katie wasn’t sure if she could take her seriously. Although she had her doubts, Katie agreed to give Vivian a chance, and teach her a thing or two about taking care of the B&B. Though she didn’t relish the idea, perhaps if her brother was serious about the woman, she’d need to learn a skill or two in order to take proper care of him.
“I’d be happy to give you a chance to see if it’s what you really want to do,” Katie said.
Vivian was so excited she could barely concentrate on the tasks Katie assigned to her to show her skills—or lack of skills, as it would appear. She imagined leaving her life behind in Chicago and living at the B&B. Although the thought did make her a little nervous, it seemed right to her. Especially if Benjamin would be by her side. She felt she could give up anything for him.
When they had finally put the bread in the oven, Katie took Vivian to the back room to explain how the laundry was done, and then to the dining room to show her how to set the table for guests. She took her to the small room they used as a gift shop to explain the basics of running it. She then took her into the front parlor to show her how they arranged bookings and guests’ itineraries. Figuring it was best to show her the reality of what a typical day was like at the B&B, she was surprised at Vivian’s endurance and patience with it all. More than that, she was especially happy to see how caring and gentle she was to Molly.
Vivian felt a bit overwhelmed. She wasn’t used to doing much work at all at home, but she was happy Katie was so willing to show her the ropes. She knew she wouldn’t learn it all in one day, but with this new start in life, she would be independent from her parents in no time at all, and she liked the idea of being out on her own rather than being something else for them to fight over.
Chapter 6.
Vivian finished up her day with Katie, eager to go riding with Benjamin before it got dark. She found him in the tack room fixing a harness. He dropped what he was doing and kissed her on the cheek.
“I was about to come and get you!” he said softly in her ear. “I didn’t think Katie was ever going to let you out of her sight.”
She giggled. “There’s no need to storm the castle. I’m here.”
“Storm the castle?”
She’d almost forgotten about the slight language barrier between them, but knew she would enjoy letting go of the more worldly way of talking and thinking, and allow him to teach her his humble ways.
“It means to storm into the house and steal me away.”
He smiled. “I like that expression. I’m going to enjoy having you teach me more of your culture.”
“You do?” she asked. “But wouldn’t you rather I learn to adapt more to your culture?”
“I’ll teach you, but I’d also like to learn some things from you too. I’d like our kinner—children to have the best of both worlds—especially Molly; she’s growing up so fast.”
There he was talking about having more kids again! Was she ready for all of that? She gazed into his smiling blue eyes and her heart skipped a beat. She would be ready with him by her side, and with the help of God to make her ready when the time was right.
She kissed him and smiled. “I like the sound of that. Speaking of which, Katie’s watching Molly so we can go riding. I’m late getting out here because Katie was showing me how to run the B&B."
“Das gut—that’s good. Did you talk with her about our plans?” he asked with a smile.
“Yes, and you know she’s not too enthusiastic about it. But she has the silly notion she’s going to be married soon, and she needs someone to take her place here, so I volunteered for the job.”
“Don’t pay her any mind,” Benjamin said with a chuckle. “She’s been dreamy-eyed about getting married ever since our cousin, Althea, got married two months ago. She doesn’t even have any courting prospects yet, but I worry about her chances since she’s now limited to the Mennonites.”
“What about the English?” Vivian asked.
“Katie would never consider marrying an Englisher.”
Vivian felt worry creeping into her mind. “Is that why she seems to object to our marriage then? When we were working she mentioned you marrying Mennonite or Amish.”
“I accidentally let it slip about our plans, but she didn’t take me seriously. She accused me of losing my mind!” he said.
“She knows a lot more now—Molly asked if I was going to move into the cottage with you and be her new mamm.”
Benjamin chuckled. “That child of mine has a mind of her own.”
“I want Katie to like me and accept me into the family,” Vivian said with worry in her tone. “But she seems a little angry about the possibility—she doesn’t seem to trust me.”
“She will,” he assured her. “Just give her a little time to get used to the idea. She likes you or she wouldn’t have let you in her kitchen.”
Vivian scoffed at his comment. “She invited me into the kitchen to keep me occupied—away from you!”
“You’re probably right about that, but I know my sister. She wouldn’t have invited you in the first place if she didn’t like you. And now that she’s asked you to take her place, that’s the best news ever!”
“Would you want me to work the B&B once we marry?” she asked hesitantly. She didn’t want to start presuming too much about her future with Benjamin, especially since he still hadn’t officially asked her to marry him. Honestly, she wasn’t even sure if the Amish did such a thing. Perhaps she’d already been asked, and she didn’t realize that was it.
She hoped not, but he was talking as though they’d made the decision to marry, and it seemed to be set in stone.
“In Amish families, everyone pulls their weight,” he said. “It’s the way we were raised.”
“I was raised the same way, but I don’t want to be dependent on my parents’ money anymore. I want to earn my own money—well, money for my family.”
“In our family, everyone has what they need, and no one has more than any other member. We believe in treating everyone equally.”
“That’s a good way to live.”
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. “Are you ready to ride before the sun goes down?”
“I’m ready for whatever adventure you’re going to take me on.”
He kissed her excitedly. “That’s what I like to hear.”
Grabbing her hand, he led her out to the stables where he had two horses saddled and ready. She mounted the horse easily, and wondered if Benjamin would expect her to wear a dress and ride side-saddle once they married. She wasn’t opposed to the idea, but she wasn’t altogether sure she could endure the cold the way Katie and Molly did. Vivian felt sorry for the little girl, but she wouldn’t feel sorry for herself. Katie and Molly, even at her young age, seemed strong, and could most likely endure far more than Vivian could. Making a mental note to pray for a humble spirit like Katie, and for the strength to adapt to a whole new way of life, she put away her angst for the time-being so she could enjoy her snowy ride with Benjamin.
****
Vivian woke early the next morning after having barely slept, and decided to go for a walk before everyone else woke up. She put on her jacket and boots and headed out toward the barn to see the animals. As she neared, she noticed a light on in the barn, Benjamin was already out there milking one of the cows. She hung back a ways for a minute to admire him working, and didn’t want to startle him.
He sat beside the cow on a stool, petting her nose and whispering to her in German. Vivian wished she could understand any of what he was saying. The cow, however, seemed to understand perfectly, and responded by nuzzling Benjamin’s shoulder. He started to sing a song to her in German, which the cow seemed to enjoy. She thought he was adorable sitting there talking to the cow as if they were old friends. When his song was finished, Vivian stepped into the lighted area, clearing her throat to establish her presence.
Amish Christmas Gift Page 5
