by Jordan Rivet
He smiled at her expectantly. She hesitated. He acted much happier these days than he had on the Galaxy Flotilla. His life here was so different from the luxurious one he led as the captains’ spokesman, but he loved his new purpose as the captain of the Lucinda. Even the way he stood was different, looser somehow than the rigid posture of a man who was constantly on guard against saying the wrong thing. As soon as he recovered his health after being kidnapped by the Calderon Group, he had thrived.
“Look, David,” Esther said, “I’ve been thinking that maybe I shouldn’t go with you—on the expedition.”
David blinked. “We’re leaving in three days.”
“I know, but I still have a lot of requests for help coming in, and the other ships need me. I’m not sure it’s the right time.”
“And you’re bringing this up now?”
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”
“Have you,” David said flatly.
“By the time you get back, my work should have let up a little.”
David frowned and blew out a long breath between his teeth. He didn’t say anything more. Esther had expected him to try to talk her into coming along. He always had something persuasive to say.
“David?”
She’d wanted to make it clear she hadn’t decided for sure to stay behind yet and that it would be temporary. It was not like she was trying to break up with him. But he stared at the plate in his hands, seemingly struggling to maintain his usual cool.
“It would just be this trip,” Esther said. “Next time you head out somewhere, I’ll come with you. I promise.”
Unexpected emotion rioted across David’s face like storm waves across a deck. He looked up sharply.
“And what if I don’t come back?”
“But the plan—”
“The plan was for you to come with me,” he said. “We’ve been working on it for months, Esther. You can’t just change your mind at the last minute without discussing it with me first.”
“I haven’t decided anything yet,” Esther said.
David stiffened, his back ramrod straight. “How gracious of you.”
“What do you—?”
“Maybe I will stay on land. I don’t know, Esther. We’d better sit down.” He turned and walked away from her across the dining hall, the plate of cod still in his hand.
Esther stared after him. Something in his tone stopped her from responding. She knew she had left it late, but she thought she had explained she was trying to do the responsible thing for once. She had thought David would understand, but he seemed . . . hurt.
She followed him to the table to rejoin their friends. David didn’t look at her when she sat down. She tried to catch his eye, but he leaned further over his plate and stabbed at the flaky white fish with his fork.
Zoe, Neal, Luke, and Cody were talking animatedly and didn’t notice any tension between Esther and David. They had moved on from speculating about Dirk and Judith, and Neal was telling them about the Lake Aguamilpa people and their strange practices.
“They live on a lake, right?” Neal said. “And they have to do these offerings. Every time they get a particularly good catch of fish, they give something back to the water, a bit of food or produce they would otherwise use, something the remaining fish can eat. The lake is like a god they need to appease. They’ve developed a whole religious system around it.”
Esther barely listened. She picked at her meal, stealing glances at David. He kept his gaze determinedly on his food. He hadn’t given her a chance to explain.
“Why the lake?” Cody asked. “I mean, why not worship the dirt or the trees or something? Or, like, God?”
“I don’t think they worship it exactly,” Neal said. “It’s more like a healthy respect bordering on reverence. They worship God too, and the lake is tied to that somehow. Not sure I have the full story yet. I’ll see if I can get their comm guy to tell me more.”
“Well, I respect the salt out of the sea, but I’m not making offerings to it,” Zoe said. “I’ll keep all the food I can.” She poked Luke’s hand with the bent prongs of her fork. “Speaking of which, any chance you guys can get something besides cod next time you go out? I’d kill for a nice big garlic shrimp right about now.”
“One garlic shrimp, hold the garlic, coming right up,” Luke said. “I still can’t believe you grew garlic on the Galaxy.”
“You wouldn’t believe a lot of the things we did on the Galaxy,” Zoe said, “but at least with the Harvesters you got to see the world a bit.”
“Just different parts of the sea. It all looks the same.”
“I can’t wait for the expedition,” Cody said. “We’ll get to see real grass and trees again. Trees!”
“As long as you don’t get kidnapped and eaten by any crazy lake people,” said Zoe.
“Aren’t you excited, Esther?” Cody asked, nudging her with his elbow.
“Huh?”
“For the expedition?”
David stood up so fast he would have knocked his chair over if it hadn’t been bolted to the floor.
“I’ve got some work to wrap up,” he said. “Want to finish my cod, Luke?” He left the dining hall without waiting for a response. The door swung shut behind him.
“Dude, what’s up with him?” Luke said, already digging into the mostly full plate.
“I’ll venture a guess that he’s not going to work,” Zoe said. She picked up the rolled-up charts David had left on his chair.
“Are you guys fighting, Esther?” Neal asked.
“I guess the fish is out of the net anyway.” Esther sighed and pushed her own plate away. “I’m thinking about skipping the expedition because I have so many people asking for help with their generators still.”
Cody frowned. “I’d hate for you to miss it.”
“I know. I’m still not sure what to do.”
“So that’s why David’s acting like someone stole his favorite sweater,” Luke said through a mouthful of fish.
“I just told him I might not go. He . . . he seems pretty upset about it. Wouldn’t even talk to me.” There must be something she was missing, something to warrant such a strong reaction. Everything had been great between them just a few hours ago.
“It’s not like Hawthorne to not wanna talk, is it?” said Zoe.
“What did you say to him exactly?” Neal asked, looking at her thoughtfully.
“I just said I’d been thinking maybe I shouldn’t go this time because of all the ships that still need my help with their generators. He got all steel-faced and stalked over here and, well, you saw. I did tell him I hadn’t decided for sure, but he’s still pissed.” Esther looked around the table at her friends. “Do you guys understand why he’s mad?”
“I haven’t always seen eye to eye with the guy,” Neal said, “but this is kind of sudden. He probably wanted you to talk it over with him before making a decision.”
“I haven’t decided,” Esther said.
“You sure about that?”
Esther hesitated. “Well, that’s what I told him, and he went off pouting.” Had she decided? People really needed her here, and there were no guarantees they could stay in contact throughout the entire trip. It would take months even if everything went according to plan.
“You’re supposed to leave in less than three days,” Neal said. “You can’t dump stuff like this on him at the last minute. I should know.” Neal took a forkful of David’s cod from the abandoned plate.
“Also, Esther,” Luke said, “don’t take this the wrong way, but maybe what you thought was ‘talking it over’ sounded to David like ‘telling him your decision.’”
“I don’t have to ask his permission,” Esther grumbled. She looked down at her plate, beginning to lose her appetite. So what if she had decided? She was trying to do the right thing. He should see that.
“The guy used to be the king of diplomacy on the Galaxy,” Zoe said. “Things have changed a lot, but he probably would
have appreciated a little more conversation about something that affects him. And a tiny bit more notice.”
“Yeah, that’s what being in a relationship is about,” Luke said. “Talking things through and doing what’s best for you as a team while respecting the needs of each individual. Communication is key.”
Everyone stared at Luke. Zoe’s mouth dropped open slightly.
“What?” Luke said, shoveling up another bite of cod. “It’s what my mom always says.”
“Maybe,” Esther said slowly. Had David really meant what he’d said about staying on land for good? She hoped not. Even if she had duties here, she was not willing to be done with David Hawthorne. They would work it out.
Esther knocked on the door to David’s cabin on the Lucinda. It was late, but she didn’t want to let the night pass without talking to him. She had his roll of charts tucked under her arm. The passageway was dark and very cold. She knocked louder, shivering as she waited for a response.
Finally, she called, “Are you in there, David? It’s me.”
There was no answer, but Esther thought she heard movement inside the cabin. Pacing. He was there after all.
“Answer me!” She banged harder on the door. “I’m salting sorry. I didn’t know it would bother you this much. Can we talk it over?”
Esther hoped her friends were right and this was just a misunderstanding. If skipping the voyage meant losing David, she would reconsider. At the same time it infuriated her that he would allow it to get to that point. He was being unreasonable. She raised her hand to knock again. David opened the door.
Involuntarily, Esther took a step back at the sight of David’s disheveled appearance. His hair stood on end, and his face was dark as a thunderhead. He put one hand on the doorframe, preventing her from coming in.
“What would you like to talk over, Esther?” he said. His voice sounded like a stranger’s. A very polite stranger’s.
“I’ll come with you on the trip,” she blurted out, shoving the roll of charts against his chest.
For a long moment David simply stared at her. His expression didn’t change at all.
“Don’t jerk me around like this, Esther,” he said. “You can’t save my life one minute, be with me the next, send me off to sea because you’re busy, and then come knocking on my door.”
“David—”
“I’ve tried, Esther.” Some of the composure slipped from David’s face. “I’ve tried a lot harder with you than with any other woman because I know what I want.”
“I—”
“But you don’t know how to be in a relationship with someone, you don’t know how to communicate, and you don’t know what you want.”
“I want to be with you,” she snapped. “The world is just crazy right now. I have work to do. I thought the timing—”
“Maybe it is the timing,” David said. Pain flashed across his face, and the roll of charts crinkled in his palm. “Maybe you’re just too young for me, Esther. Do your work. Stay with the Catalina. I don’t care.”
He turned back to the cabin and jerked the door shut behind him.
Esther stepped back against the cold bulkhead, fuming. Too young for him? We’ll see about that!
She glared at the door, angry tears forming in her eyes. He’d be back. He’d realize he was being petulant, and she was the one with the maturity to put the needs of everyone else first. And the maturity to come work things out. I’ll just give him time to come to his senses.
The door remained closed.
He would be back. He had overreacted. He would realize it in a minute. She’d be the one to graciously accept his apology. Too young for him indeed!
Still the door didn’t move.
After a few minutes Esther rubbed her eyes angrily and turned to stomp toward the hatch. If he wanted to be like that, then fine. He could come to her.
She made it halfway up the corridor before she whirled around, marched back to David’s door, and banged on it with her fist.
“You don’t get to be like this, David Hawthorne!” she shouted. “We’ve been through too much together. Rust, I’m not going to grovel if you’re going to act like a child. I came back here to admit I was wrong for not talking it over until the last minute. If you want to be angry, then fine! But you don’t get to slam the salting door in my face. Now open up!”
Esther pulled her wrench from her belt and was about to begin prying at the lock when the door swung open again. She froze, with the wrench poised at waist level. Blood rushed to her cheeks.
David looked down at the tool in her hand, then back at her sheepish expression.
“You should see your face, Esther,” he said.
“Don’t slam doors on me when I’m trying to talk to you. It’s not fair.”
“Well, don’t abandon me,” David said, a crack appearing in his smooth voice.
“Temporarily! You’re the one who threatened to stay on land for good.”
“You started it.”
“I started it? Seriously? Aren’t you supposed to be the skilled orator here?”
David gaped at her, his composure wavering. Then he threw up his hands, stepped forward, and covered her mouth with his. The momentum carried them all the way out into the corridor. He kissed her more earnestly than he ever had before. Her wrench clattered to the floor as she wrapped her arms around his neck. His fingers were in her hair, his lips pressing hers. All thought swam straight out of her head.
As suddenly as the kiss had begun, David released her. He set Esther back on her feet and stepped away, adjusting the glasses that had fallen sideways on his face.
“I meant what I said about not wanting to be jerked around,” David said, completely serious. “You make me crazy, Esther. Let’s both cool down, give it some thought, and talk in the morning.”
Esther waited for him to continue, still catching her breath. But he just walked backward until he was in the doorway of his cabin again. Then he saluted, and with slow, exaggerated movements he closed the door.
Esther had spent most nights in David’s cabin on the Lucinda over the past few months, but now she crossed back to the Catalina and climbed up the service stairwell to the Mermaid Lounge, on the ninth deck, where Zoe, Anita, and Toni had lived ever since they arrived from the Galaxy. Her father’s girlfriend, Penelope Newton, had moved into the cabin Esther used to share with him, so she couldn’t go back there. She had been getting used to the idea of her father’s newfound happiness with Penelope. She had moved to the lounge to give them space without being asked, but it still grated. Esther and her father had been a duo for the past sixteen years, and she wasn’t quite ready to welcome Penelope into their family.
Most of the space in the Mermaid Lounge was taken up with tables, chairs, and a long bar in front of the sea-facing windows. Bright portraits of mermaids and a handful of carved sconces decorated the booths against the walls. Cots that had once been in the ship’s spa (long since dedicated to storage) were spread out in one corner.
Esther hadn’t slept up here in weeks. The way she felt with David made her not want to be anywhere else. She loved spending time with him in the Lucinda’s pilothouse or in his cabin when they weren’t working. She had thought she could handle being away from him for a few months while he made the expedition he had been dreaming of for so long. Now she felt a void like a drop-off on the seafloor.
No, she didn’t just love spending time with him. She loved him. Every fiber and joint of her loved him. She wouldn’t let him go over something this stupid, and she didn’t think he’d let her go either.
“So did you sort things out?” Zoe asked when Esther sat down on the cot in between hers and Toni’s. Her straw-blond hair hung loose around her face, and she knotted and twisted the red headscarf in her hands.
Toni lay stretched out on her stomach, reading a book that was on the verge of disintegrating. She had been making her way steadily through the Catalina’s meager collection since arriving from the Galaxy. She didn’t
look up.
“I’m not sure,” Esther said.
“Did you at least talk?” Zoe prompted.
“Sort of.” Esther pulled her thin blanket up to her chin and peered over the tattered edge. “I yelled at him, and then he kissed me, and then I left.”
“You guys are crazy,” Zoe said.
Toni snorted and turned a page in her book.
“We care about each other, though.”
“You have a weird way of showing it.”
“I think we’re okay,” Esther said. Hopefully they’d be able to talk things over more reasonably after a solid night’s rest. They did care about each other. David would never lose his cool if he didn’t. They’d figure out a way for them both to be happy, even if they had to be apart for a little while. They had been through too much together.
Zoe frowned at her for a minute, looking conflicted. Then she sighed and stood, letting the red scarf drop onto her cot.
“This is silly. I’m going to find Luke,” she said, and strode toward the exit.
Esther laughed, startled.
“It’s about time!” Toni called.
Zoe turned when she got to the door. “And you?”
“I’ll fix things with David in the morning.”
“Atta girl.”
Chapter 3—News
BUT THE NEXT MORNING everything changed.
Esther awoke to Neal shaking her shoulder insistently. She pushed him away and sat up.
“What, Neal?” She rubbed her eyes, adjusting to the early-morning light streaming into the Mermaid Lounge.
“Esther, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Are you awake?” Neal knelt beside Esther’s cot. His clothes were rumpled, and he had dark circles under his eyes. Toni stirred in the next bed but she didn’t wake up.
“Not really. What time is it?”
“Just after five.”
“Are we sinking?”
“No, Esther, I need you to see something. Get up.”
“Okay, okay, I’m up. Where?” As her brain kicked into gear, her thoughts immediately jumped to the worst things: something had happened to her father, to David, to Cally.
“In the Tower. On the computer.”
