by Lola StVil
Argh!
The moment his name comes out of my mouth, I know it’s a mistake. Just hearing it makes her wince. It’s slight and quick, but nevertheless, it’s there.
“Sorry,” I offer.
“It’s okay,” she lies.
“Pry…”
I want to tell her so much. I want her to know that I am deeply in love with her and that every second away from her is excruciating. I want to say that last night was the first time I felt free from that agony, that being with her was like going into the light for the first time. And now standing here, watching her pull away from me is like being cast out of the light and thrown back down to Earth.
“Bex?”
“Yeah?”
“Is it okay if we forget about it—for now?” she says gently.
No.
“Yeah, sure,” I reply out loud.
“It’s just that I have so much to think about…” she reasons.
“You’re right. You should take some time to yourself.”
“Thank you,” she replies as she embraces me tightly.
When we pull away from each other, she smiles gracefully and looks out onto the garden.
“This place really is beautiful. I mean, it’s the most beautiful place on Earth,” she says.
Yeah, but it’s still just Earth…
Chapter Twenty-Six:
Broken
I’m not sure what’s worse: Never holding Pryor or holding her and then having to let her go. I don’t know what I expected the next morning, but what actually occurred was sharply disappointing. And as I watched her take off into the sky, I only felt worse.
Maybe if I weren’t a Kon, or an angel, for that matter, I could spend the day lamenting Pryor’s absence. However, if I don’t tend to other things, the Para world will fall, and it will be my fault. Every morning it’s one thing or another. Today, for example, my staff informs me that there has been a series of breakins in the labs we have throughout the world.
I order more guards to be posted at the entrance of the labs that have the most dangerous mixtures. I would order them to cover every lab we have, but the truth is, with every Para looking for Malakaro, we are spread very thin. I also personally see to the destruction of anything having to do with the Freedom Project. Hunter is pissed and hardly looks at me.
I invited him to come with me to one of the labs in Costa Rica. The Healers created a new mixture, and they will be testing to see if it’s powerful enough to kill Malakaro. Hunter refused, saying he doesn’t want to look for what he already found—what I threw away.
I actually thought that he would ease up a little and move on from his burning hatred of me, but it’s been two weeks and he still won’t talk to me.
Another angel who won’t talk to me is Pryor. I called twice, and she sent me to voicemail. Sometimes I think of going over to the house, but then I decide against it. Pryor isn’t a kid. If she wants to see me or talk to me, she would.
I do ask about her to make sure she’s okay, and according to the twins, she’s still dealing with the breakup. I’ve learned that Diana and Silver are staying at Rage’s house while they look for a permanent house. The one good thing about all this is that with the exception of Silver and Diana, everyone still reaches out to me as if I’m part of the team. I didn’t realize how much I missed them as a whole until they called.
Just when things are getting bleak, I get a call from Swoop saying it’s Randy’s birthday and I should come by. I agree to go to Randy’s party, and yes, it’s to see Pry, but it’s also because Randy has given up a lot to help us, so the least I can do is tell him happy birthday face to face.
The party is being held at the same bar where they held Easton’s graduation party. Again, it’s a small, joyful crowd, with angels and Quo laughing and having a good time. I ask the twins why they gave Randy such a small party as a birthday gift. That’s when they explain that this party is not Randy’s gift. His actual birthday present was a crime they committed in his honor a few hours earlier.
Last night, the team blindfolded Randy and took him to San Diego, California. There, they broke into a convention center and made Randy stand in the middle of the large multilevel structure. When they took away his blindfold, Randy was puzzled. He had no idea where he was or why.
When the team revealed that they were, in fact, at the convention center where Comic-Con was to be held the following day, Randy almost lost it. They had gotten him complete access to the mother of all comic conventions. There were no lines, no bothersome crowds, and best of all, no one to stop him from touching any of the priceless artifacts he loved. Swoop tells me that Randy was like a five-year-old at a candy store. And according to him, it was the best birthday gift he’d ever been given.
As the party gets underway, I find Randy and give him my gift. It’s called a “Bark and Bite.” It’s a pen that looks like the bone from an angel’s wing. It comes with a small journal made of parchment. I inform Randy that it records his thoughts without him having to touch it. The ink is invisible and will only reveal its contents to the being who first wrote with it. Randy grins and thanks me. I ask where Pryor is, and he says she’s in the alley behind the bar. I head over to her, only to find that she’s not in the alley alone.
“If you asked me out here to tell me to go, don’t worry, I’ll be gone soon. I just wanted to wish Randy a happy birthday,” Silver says.
“I’m glad you came. I wanted to talk to you,” she says, trying to sound casual but failing at it.
“What about?”
“I owe you an apology.”
“No, Pry, you don’t owe me anything.”
“I should not have said what I did the other day. I don’t wish you died. It was cruel and uncalled for.”
“I hurt you; it’s understandable.”
“It may be understandable, but it’s not the way I want to run my team. I need to separate my personal life from my professional obligations. You are a valued member of this team regardless of who you are sleeping with.”
“Thank you.”
“Now as far as you and me personally…you asked if there was anything you could do to make this easier for me. Did you really mean that?” she says as she swallows hard.
“Yes.”
“Good,” she says.
She takes a moment and braces herself. She then tells him about having East erase the memory they both share.
“You want to erase the memory of us?” he asks, blindsided.
“East can’t take all my memories away, but he agreed to get rid of a particular moment.”
“Which moment?” he says, already dreading the answer.
“The first time we—”
“No,” he says firmly.
“Why?”
“Pryor, are you seriously saying you want to forget that night?” he says incredulously.
“Yes.”
“Don’t do this. That night was special to me.”
“Really? Is that why you ripped my fucking heart out? Because our first time was so special?”
“Pry, I know you’re angry with me, but—”
“I am not doing this because I’m angry! I’m doing this because the same memory I held in my heart when the world wanted to swallow me whole is now choking me.”
“I know it’s hard now, but I don’t want to take that moment away from either of us.”
“Our first night together was perfect in my head, but now it’s just a study in deception and bullshit!”
“Don’t say that. Don’t you dare minimize what we had.”
“YOU DID THAT, AADEN, NOT ME!”
“Maybe you’re okay forgetting that night, but I won’t consent to it. I won’t give up one of the most important moments of my life.”
“Do you know what I do all day, Aaden? I lie. I tell myself that these past few weeks with us never happened. I tell myself that what we had was a fling. It was something fun, and it’s no big deal that it’s over. I make a list in my head of all
the reasons I’m better off without you.
“But while I can convince my mind, my body is a different story. My body remembers you. It remembers all the places you touched. The spots you tasted. The spaces you filled in me. And when it realizes that it will never feel you again…if you ever loved me, save me. Help me forget.”
“I would do anything for you, anything. But I can’t. I can’t give up that memory. Don’t ask me to. Please, Pry, don’t take that away from me.”
“You are inside my thoughts, inside my body, and I want you out!”
“I’m sorry, no,” he whispers.
She sighs and shakes her head in disgust. “What was I thinking; why the hell would you help me? I’m just some girl you fucked.”
“Wow.” He gasps as if she ripped his soul away from him.
Judging by the look on her face, I don’t think she realized the effect her words would have on him. He looks away from her and out into the dark street. When he turns to face her again, he is resigned and speaks in a low voice.
“Okay, Pry. You want to get rid of our first time, then, yeah, I can do that.”
She calls East to join them in the alley. He enters the alley from a different direction, so he doesn’t see me. When the new Noru walks out here, he feels the tension in the air. It’s so strong he has to center himself and try to control his new powers of empathy.
“Are you okay?” Pryor asks him.
“No, you two are feeling too much, and I want to hug and kick your asses at the same time,” East replies.
“Are you sure you’re up to this?” Silver asks.
“You’re up to it, right?” Pryor says desperately.
Silver shakes his head bitterly and allows East to place his hand on his temple.
The palm of East’s hand starts to glow. The illumination begins to grow and starts to pull a white light from Aaden’s head. Then it stops suddenly.
“What’s wrong?” Pryor asks.
“I can’t take the memory from him,” East says.
“I told you, Easton, I’m good with it. Just go in and take it away,” Silver says, faking indifference.
“Your mind may want to let go, but your soul does not. The memory has been crystalized,” East informs them.
“What does that mean?” Pryor says.
“It means your first night is a memory he taps into so much it’s embedded into his soul. It’s like it’s preserved. It’s a rare thing.”
“So you’re saying there is no way to take this memory from him?” Pryor asks.
“No, well, not without risking his safety.”
“It’s okay, East. You can put my life in danger. So long as Pry doesn’t have to revisit the worst night of her life,” Silver spits.
“I’m trying to survive this, that’s all. You can understand how hard this is, can’t you?” she pleads.
“Why would I understand? According to you, you’re just some girl I fucked.”
“Pryor, you said that?” East asks.
“Easton!” she scolds.
“Sorry,” Easton says.
“Look, East, we can stand here all night if you want to keep trying to reach that memory and take it away,” Silver offers.
“It won’t work, Pry. Silver’s memory is a part of his soul; it’s life and death to him.”
Pryor is so disappointed that she has to keep her memory with Silver that she stays in the girls’ bathroom most of the night, talking to the twins. When she finally comes out, her face is freshly washed and she wears her best “I’m okay” smile. That means she is anything but okay.
“Bex, hi,” she says, surprised to see me.
“Well, at least you remember my name,” I quip.
“Don’t do that, Bex. I haven’t forgotten what happened between us,” she says.
“Look, I wasn’t expecting us to exchange our Rahs, but you don’t return my calls? That’s crazy, Pry!”
“I was going to call you back. I just…it’s been hard, okay? I’m sorry.”
“Are we playing games here? I need to know, because I don’t have time for games.”
“What is it that you want from me? We had a great night and now…”
“Now it’s over, and you want me to leave you the hell alone, right?”
“I didn’t say that!”
“Yeah, Pry. You kind of did.”
“You said you would give me time,” she reminds me.
“Does that mean we can’t talk at all?” I ask.
“I don’t know what it means.”
“Damn it, Pryor, I need answers!”
“Fine, we will do this ‘yes or no’ style. Did I have a good time that night? Yes. Do I think about that night? Yes. Does it mean I am over Silver crushing me? No. Does it mean I want to give my heart away to yet another angel who will inevitably screw me over? No.”
“You think I would treat you the same way Silver did?”
“Bex, I don’t know what to think. Right now it feels like my entire life is in pieces. You want me to say yes to being with you. You want me to find my way to you, but I can’t even find my way to myself. You said you would give me time, so give it to me.”
“Fine,” I reply as I head towards the exit.
Before I can leave the bar, a being enters that makes everyone stop and summon Powerballs in their palms, including me.
“Kill, what the hell are you doing here?” Diana says.
“Relax, guys. I didn’t come to fight,” Kill says with a smile.
“Then I guess you came to die,” Silver says as he leaps forward, fireball in hand, and hurls it at Kill. Half of Kill’s body is melting, but he quickly heals, as that is among his powers as a Kaster.
“You can attack me and we can battle. That would mean that my team outside would have no choice but to start killing random humans. It’s Saturday night in New York City; there will be no shortage of victims. Or you can give me what I want,” Kill says.
“What do you want?” Pryor asks.
“Just three minutes alone with my ex-girlfriend,” Kill says.
Everyone looks over at Diana, but before she can speak, Silver steps in front of her protectively and tells Kill that what he wants is not going to happen.
“We will stand here in front of all you douche angels and Quo. You can ready your Powerballs if you want. I just need three minutes and then I’m gone. Or spend all night matching human body parts to their owners,” Kill replies.
“Guys, it’s okay. I’ll talk to him,” Diana replies.
“You don’t owe Kill anything. We can just end him here and now,” Silver assures her.
“Silver, do what you want, but I think it really sucks that humans are going to bite it because you wouldn’t give me three lousy minutes,” Kill says.
“It’s fine, Silver. I’ll talk to him,” Diana says, placing her hand on his shoulder.
Kill signals for Diana to join him a few feet away from the crowd. When she is hesitant, he gently places a hand on her shoulder and leads her to the corner.
“What do you want?” Diana asks.
“You said you never wanted a family. What changed?” Kill replies.
“I did. I realized maybe all kids aren’t doomed to have an awful life. That maybe they could grow up to be happy. And that everyone didn’t have to end up miserable like I did.”
“I…I mean…I could…I don’t know.”
“Kill, what do you want to say?” Diana insists.
“It should have been me, all right? Why wasn’t it me?” he says, reining in his growing anger.
“Because you’re a Kaster. That’s all you will ever be,” Diana says.
“Oh, and Silver is a fucking saint?”
“No, none of us are.”
“So why are you with him?”
“I love him.”
“And me? You ever…I mean…”
“No, Kill, I never loved you,” Diana says in a quiet whisper.
“I get it. Can I at least get a goodbye kiss?”
She pulls away from him. He looks hurt by her dismissal.
“Okay, I get it. Well, can a bastard of a Kaster like me get a handshake at least?”
“I don’t think so.”
“All right, I’ll go. But just so you know, leaving the team, leaving me—big mistake,” he says as he glares back at her, then makes his way out the door.
“Are you all right?” Silver asks, rushing to her side.
“Yeah, we’re fine. I think he just wanted to curse me out for leaving him.”
“You never should have talked to him; he could have hurt you,” Silver replies.
“But he didn’t, so let’s just get back to Randy’s party,” Diana encourages.
She calls out for Swoop to start the music up again and for the staff to start passing more Coy around. Soon, everyone is back to party mode. Not wanting to be rude, I wait about an hour before I make my way to the exit.
I head outside, hoping to find Randy to say goodbye before I go. However, instead of running into him, I run into Pryor. She doesn’t see me behind her. She looks fixedly at Diana and Aaden, who are engaged in a deep conversation a few yards away.
Am I wrong for pushing so hard? Should I just let things be for now? Am I supposed to fight for the girl I love? It’s obvious she’s nowhere near letting go of things with Aaden; am I just wishing for something I will never have? Will she always belong to him?
“Sorry about Kill showing up,” Diana says.
“It’s not your fault. And at least he didn’t hurt anyone. I didn’t know he was that into you,” Silver replies.
“I don’t think that’s it. He just liked to think he owned me. It’s more ego than love.”
“Well, as long as we’re being sorry, I’m sorry things are so up in the air right now. As soon as things settle, we can move out of my dad’s house,” Silver assures her.
“When I said things were awkward, I didn’t mean with your dad. He’s kind of cool, actually. Sparks loves when he makes blue fire that lasts all day. Between the two of them, I’m not sure who’s the kid,” Diana replies.
“Good, then what’s the problem?”
“It’s not a problem, it’s just…you left Pryor so you could be with me, so…be with me,” she says, avoiding eye contact.
