by Amber Garza
“Oh, I can’t wait.” Hadley sighs.
“Yeah, me too,” I say honestly. If only there was a fast forward button for my life, I would definitely push it so it would take me forward a couple of weeks. I swivel in my seat. “Now I’m going to take you to get something to eat. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”
“Me too.” Hadley looks down guiltily at her stomach. “But what’s new, huh?”
I know she’s uncomfortable about her weight. I only wish I could make her understand how beautiful and perfect she is. Reaching out, I grasp her hand. “There’s nothing wrong with being hungry, Hadley. I love that you don’t only eat salads and fruit. That would make you boring.”
She smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
As I pull the car out onto the street, I decide to change the subject to something happier. “So, did you find a dress for the dance?”
Her eyes sparkle. “Yes, I did, and I love it.”
“I can’t wait to see you in it.” I squeeze her hand.
“Are you sure you’re okay with going to the dance? I know you don’t really like them.”
“I’ve also never gone to one with you before. I love spending time with you, Hadley. No matter what we do.” When I glance over at Hadley she’s practically glowing. A smile breaks out on her face, and I know that I’ve done the right thing. Clearly she’s more excited about the dance than she wants to let on.
THIRTY-ONE
HADLEY
“Oh, Hadley, you look gorgeous!” Mom gasps when I enter the family room.
I spin in a circle, my skirt swimming around my thighs and my large curls bouncing around my shoulders. The dress I bought is strapless, has a thick belted middle, and the skirt lands right above my knees. I chose it because it accentuates all the right places, and minimizes my middle. The sparkly black heels I bought are higher than I’m used to, so I take deliberate steps onto the carpet.
Rob looks up from the magazine he’s reading. “You look lovely,” he says simply, but it causes my cheeks to color.
I’m glad that Ainsley and Adam aren’t here tonight. They’d probably spill something on my perfect dress. I’ve never worn anything so nice. I feel like a princess, and I wish my dad could see me right now.
As if reading my mind Mom says, “Why don’t I take your picture and you can text it to your dad.”
I almost burst into tears at the sweet gesture. Mom is never this gracious about him. I nod, afraid to utter a word; afraid that instead a sob will burst forth. This whole evening feels like a dream. I hand Mom my phone and then pose as best as I can in front of the fireplace. It flickers behind me, offering warmth. I know I’ll be freezing in this tiny dress and I remind myself to bring a sweater, even though I doubt I’ll put it on. I’ll endure cold to look like this. After Mom takes the picture, she hands back the phone and I send it in a text to Dad.
Tripp announces his arrival with a loud knock on the door. My heart tumbles down to my feet, and I suddenly feel frozen in place. Mom gives me a funny look and then hurries to answer the door. I think back to the last dance when Paige and I saw Sonya and Tripp together. No dress in the world can make me look like her. Self conscious, I run a finger through one of my curls. It bounces back into place like a slinky the minute I release it. My phone buzzes in my hand just as Mom greets Tripp and ushers him inside.
I glance down, my gaze connecting with my touch screen.
Dad: U look stunning. Love u.
Emotion wells up inside me. No matter what anyone says, he’s my dad. Maybe not biologically, but in every way that counts. With trembling fingers I shoot off a response.
Me: Thanx. Luv u 2.
Then I look up from my phone at Tripp. Seeing him in his fitted tux, corsage in hand, steals my breath. His dark eyes widen, and a huge smile breaks out on his face. He steps toward me, reaching his arm out to hand me my corsage.
“You look amazing,” he says, awe in his voice.
“Thanks.”
“I believe this is for you.” He thrusts the corsage into my palm and then wraps his arms around me. His mouth finds my ear and he whispers, “Hadley, you could’ve warned me. I mean, I knew you’d look good in your dress, but damn you look so hot.”
I giggle at his words. Mom raises her eyebrows at the exchange. I clear my throat and push Tripp back. After a gazillion pictures, Tripp and I finally head to the dance. Anxiety plagues me the closer we get. I’m starting to wonder if this is a good idea after all.
“You okay?” Tripp asks after we park.
I nod. “Yeah, just kinda nervous.”
“Just pretend it’s only you and me.” His hand rests on my knee.
“That I can do.” I smile, his words giving me courage. When I reach for the door handle, Tripp stops me.
“Let me.” He hops out of the car, and I slump back in my seat.
“Always the gentleman,” I tease when he opens my door.
“You deserve it, Hadley.” He takes my arm and helps me out. After closing the door, we link arms and he guides me through the darkened parking lot. A few other couples walk ahead and behind us, but I don’t recognize any of them. I’m relieved, not exactly looking forward to seeing people we know.
As we near the doors to the gym, the sound of music reaches me. It’s some hip hop tune I’ve heard before, and it causes panic to sweep over me. I turn to Tripp, latching onto his arm.
“I probably should’ve told you that I can’t dance.”
Tripp chuckles. “I can’t really either. Don’t worry. We’ll just turn every dance into a slow dance.”
I sigh. “I don’t know how to slow dance either.”
Tripp releases my hand and pulls me into a big hug. Then he sways gently from side to side. “You can do this, right?”
I nestle into his chest. I’m sure we look like the biggest weirdos hugging in the middle of the parking lot, but I don’t care. It feels so good to be in his arms. “All night.”
“Then we’re good.”
Light envelops us and a car honks, causing us both to jump. Chuckling, Tripp pulls me out of the way of the car and we walk into the gym. I’m not nearly as nervous as I was just a few minutes ago. I marvel at the calming effect he has on me. The gym looks about like Paige and I pictured it. Big sparkly stars hang on strings from the ceiling. The lighting is dim, and a large silver ball dangles from the center of the ceiling, giving off a strobe light effect. Music blares so loudly I can scarcely hear anything above it. Clusters of students dance in the middle of the room while others are strewn about the bleachers, and some stand against the wall. It’s funny to see everyone so dressed up, especially the guys. A small giggle bursts from my throat when I see the table with a large punch bowl in the center. I can’t wait to tell Paige about it.
“Well, what do you think?” Tripp sweeps his arm around the room.
“It’s exactly what I thought it would be – cheesy and over the top, and kind of tacky.” I smile. “It’s perfect, Tripp.”
“If you say so.” He laughs. “I think the dance committee could’ve used you and I to help with decorations though, don’t you think?”
Glancing up at the tacky stars, I nod. “Yeah, I think the two of us could’ve come up with something a little more creative.”
“Maybe next year,” Tripp says.
My heart soars at his words. Ever since he showed me his bruises, I’ve been sick with worry for him. I can’t wait until he and his mom get out of that situation. I really hope that soon he can have the freedom to do what he wants.
“So, what do you want to do first? Pictures? Punch? Dancing?” Tripp asks.
“I think I’d like to resume what we had going on in the parking lot.”
“I like the way you think.” He sweeps me into his arms, and I circle mine around his neck. The song is fast, and everyone around us is gyrating and jumping. But I’m content to sway back and forth in Tripp’s arms.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” I peer up a
t him, my hair falling over my shoulders.
He brushes the hair back from my face with his hand. “I am, huh?”
“Yeah. I know you think that I rescued you, but really you rescued me too.”
“Do you have any idea how lucky I feel to have you in my life, Hadley?”
“I do, because I feel the same way,” I tell him. “I feel like a princess tonight, Tripp. It’s like you’re making all my dreams come true.” An elbow jabs into my back, and I’m jolted forward.
I turn around to see Molly dancing practically up against us, glaring smugly.
“Just ignore her.” Tripp whirls us away from her. When he does, I spot Maverick entering. My insides knot. I sure hope he doesn’t cause any trouble. Tripp follows my gaze and then touches my face. “Hey, there’s nothing to worry about. I won’t let anything spoil your night, okay?”
I nod, hoping he’s right. After a few more songs Tripp says he has to use the restroom. I can tell he doesn’t want to leave me, but I put on a brave face and shoo him away. As Tripp slips off, I hang back by the punch bowl. Glittery dresses, bright colors and black tuxes fill my frame of vision. As my gaze takes in the room, it reminds me of a bright abstract painting. My body sways slightly to the music playing, and I wonder if this is what being high feels like. It’s almost like I’m floating. Like my feet aren’t even touching the ground. Resting my back against the punch table, I await Tripp’s return.
“Oh, my god, I can’t believe he actually brought you here,” Sonya’s voice causes my shoulders to tense.
Please don’t let her ruin this night for me. I don’t even turn in her direction. Instead, I keep my gaze glued to the restroom door willing Tripp to come out.
“How long is Tripp going to slum it with you?” Sonya laughs, and I hear more tittering behind me. I guess she brought her little shadows with her.
I can’t spot Tripp, and I feel alone and exposed. What would Paige say? I conjure up her voice in my mind, and when I hear it I almost chuckle aloud. Emboldened, I spin on my sparkly heels.
“The only time Tripp was slumming it was when he took you to the fall dance. And after the horrid time he had, he assured me that isn’t a mistake he’s going to make again.” I move in close to her. “In fact, he told me that kissing you was like kissing a cold, dead fish. Lucky for him, the only person he’s making out with now is me. And often, I might add.”
Sonya recoils at my words. She shoots daggers at me with her eyes. “Wow, girls, who knew Tripp was a chubby chaser.” Her friends giggle behind their hands.
My face flames at her words, and the room spins around me.
“Hey,” Tripp says in a stern voice. “Leave Hadley alone, Sonya.”
Sonya shrugs. “We were just having a friendly conversation.”
“I heard what you said.” Tripp’s eyes harden. Then he turns to me and they soften at the edges. “Don’t listen to her. She’s just jealous because you’re the most gorgeous girl in this room.” He speaks loud enough for everyone around us to hear, and warmth spreads through my body.
Sonya and her friends huff in irritation, but I don’t pay attention to them. All I feel is Tripp’s hand on my back as he guides me back out on the dance floor. When we find an open spot, he circles his arms around my waist and pulls me to him. I rest my hand on his chest and peer up at him.
“Thank you for what you said, Tripp. I mean, I know it’s not true, but I appreciate it anyway.”
Tripp’s brows furrow. “Of course it’s true, Hadley. How could you think I would ever lie to you?”
“I know you love me, but I have mirrors in my house. I know I’m not the prettiest girl here.”
He brings his finger up to trace my jawline. “Then your mirrors are lying to you, because when I look at you I see the most beautiful girl in the world.”
My cheeks heat up. “Tripp, I couldn’t even fit in the dress that Sonya’s wearing. I’m huge.”
Tripp tips my chin up to look at him. Our eyes lock, and all I see in his are sincerity. “Your curves are one of the things I love about you. They make you sexy. When I first saw you tonight in this dress, you took my breath away. I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful. And I mean that.”
I stare into his eyes, reading the genuineness in them. He’s not lying, I can tell. As unfathomable as it seems, Tripp really is attracted to me. Not just to the person I am, but to how I look as well. It’s too good to be true. I feel like I’m dreaming. But if I am, I never want to wake up. Walking my fingers up his chest, I grab his collar and draw him to me. Screw my no PDA rule. I want to kiss Tripp so bad right now.
Our lips connect, and the whole room fades away. I don’t hear the music or the couples around us dancing. I don’t smell the guys with too much cologne or the girls wearing sickening amounts of perfume. I’m consumed with the feel of Tripp’s hands on my back, his lips against mine, and his tongue swirling in my mouth. His spicy scent envelops me, blanketing me in safety and security.
THIRTY-TWO
TRIPP
I know something’s wrong the minute I walk inside the house. I can’t explain why. It’s not like anything is out of place, but I feel it in my bones. Something went down while I was at the dance. I close the door softly behind me and inch forward into the silent house. It’s dark with only the slimmest line of light coming through the thick front drapes. We’re the only house on the street that has drapes. Everyone else has shutters. I guess it’s because we have the most to hide.
My dress shoes click on the linoleum, so I ditch them by the door. My socks make no noise as I continue on. I’m about ready to head upstairs when I spot her. She’s curled up on the couch. My stomach lurches.
“Mom?” I whisper, gliding forward.
She doesn’t move. I place a hand on her shoulder, and her body shudders at the touch. “Mom? Are you okay?” My eyes are finally adjusting to the darkness and I’m able to see her body. Making my way around her, I kneel on the ground. When my gaze connects with hers, I let out a small gasp. “Mom, oh, my god, what happened?” Her eye is swollen shut and her whole cheek is puffy. Dried blood cakes her lips, and scratches cover her arm.
She winces when she tries to shift her position on the couch, and that’s when I notice her arm is at a funny angle. She swallows hard. “I tried to tell him I was leaving.” Her voice is choppy and strangled. I can tell it hurts her to speak.
“We have to get you to the hospital. I think your arm is broken.” I reach for her, my fingers brushing over her ribs and she whimpers. “Are your ribs broken too?”
With a quivering hand she reaches for me. “No hospital. No doctors. You know the rules.”
I bite back the bile rising in my throat. “Mom, we don’t have a choice this time.” Looking around, I say, “Where is he?”
“Upstairs. Sleeping.” She pleads with me with her eyes. “It’s fine. Just let it go.”
“I can’t, Mom.” Fear grips me for her condition. I have to call an ambulance. I have to get her help. “God, look at you.”
“I thought I could do it, but I can’t.”
I freeze. “What do you mean?”
“I can’t leave him. It was a foolish idea.”
“No.” Desperation blooms inside of me. I won’t let her stay. I can’t let her do this to us. “We’re leaving. I’m ending this tonight.” When I stand up, Mom’s arms flail toward me. Terror fills her features. It sickens me. I reach into the pocket of my dress pants and yank out my cell. Then I do the one thing I’ve been warned against my entire life. I dial 911.
“Here you go.” Hadley thrusts a styrofoam cup of hospital coffee into my hand.
“Thanks.” I glance up at her, trying hard to smile. Slumping against the wall, I roll my neck. I’m so exhausted. It’s been the longest night of my life. A constant snapshot reel plays out in my mind – the ambulance showing up and taking Mom out on a stretcher, the cops cuffing Dad and shoving him in the back of the police cruiser while he vehemently denied any culpability. When he gla
red at me from the backseat, an icy chill covered my body. I know what that look means. It means if he ever gets out I’m going to pay. Only I can’t think about that right now. I’ve finally done the right thing, and I have to cling to that.
“Go home and get some sleep. I’ll stay here and call you if there’s any news,” Hadley offers.
“You’ve been up just as long as I have.”
“But it’s not the same. You’ve endured the most.” Her hand rests on my thigh, and I cover it with my own.
“Do you think my mom will get through this?” I ask, my bottom lip trembling despite my best efforts to keep it steady.
Moisture fills Hadley’s eyes as she nods. “The doctors said she’ll be fine.”
“No, I mean emotionally.”
“I can’t answer that, Tripp. But I know that she’ll have you to help her.” She grins sadly. “And if she needs it, I know a pretty good therapist.”
“Yeah, I’m sure your dad will really approve of me then.”
Hadley leans over and kisses me on the cheek. “Hey, once my dad gets to know you he’ll love you just like I do. It’ll be impossible not to.”
“Are you saying it’s impossible not to love me?” I joke, surprised that I even know how at a time like this.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying,” she says.
Sadness descends on me. “Then why couldn’t my dad?”
“Oh, Tripp.” Hadley squeezes my cold fingers. “I’m sure that your dad does love you in his own way. He’s just obviously got a lot of his own demons he’s wrestling with.”
“How could he hurt her like that, Hadley? I just don’t understand.” I put my head in my hands, willing away the images that flood my mind. “You should’ve seen her just lying there on that couch so helpless and injured.” I grunt, shoving off the chair. My muscles pulsate under my skin and I want to punch something so bad. “I just want to kill him when I think about it. God, it makes me so angry.”
