“No, we aren’t doing that! I know that much. Don’t go there.”
“Okay then, we face it. We do it together. You do it with the support of your family. Your mom, your dad, me, Tripp, Tank and the club. Sass, no more running from us.”
“No more running,” I sigh out.
“See you tomorrow.”
“Doll, thank you. I’ve been so lost.”
“And now you’re found. I gotta pack. I’ll be there by mid-afternoon.”
With that, we say our goodbyes, and I look down at my belly. It looks just as it did yesterday and the day before, yet it doesn’t. I place my hand low over my womb.
Calling my doctor’s office, I’m told to come this afternoon to take one of their tests and set up my first appointment. I’m so on edge I decide to go ahead and get it over with. The quicker I confirm what I know, the quicker I can start piecing my life together.
Nick and I are engaged. I may not be over the top happy, we may not be head-over-heels in love, but we have a life together. What’s more, I could be in worse circumstances. He is just going to have to face that a baby changes things. I want my family involved. All of my family. All of the Hellions.
At the doctor’s office, I am taken to the back to pee in a cup. The window of their test shows a plus sign. I am indeed going to be a mom. At the receptionist desk, she gives me my first appointment for the following week. A full blood panel will be done and the first ultrasound. Mixed emotions run through me as I take in all she is saying. After she’s done, she gives me a prescription for prenatal vitamins and then I am sent on my way.
Nick is home when I pull up. His unexpected early arrivals haven’t always been a good thing, either. I am a ball of nerves already at the thought of telling him we are expecting, so him being home early isn’t comforting.
I take the elevator up, and he is standing in front of the door as I open it, his eyes showing rage.
“Where’s your phone, Savannah?”
Did I miss a call from him? What’s wrong with my phone? I don’t remember it ringing. I am distracted, though, so maybe I missed something. I dig in my purse, looking for the phone. Pulling it out, the first thing I do is look at the screen. No missed calls, no messages.
Before I can say anything, Nick yanks the phone harshly out of my hand. I watch helplessly as he throws the phone against our wall. The back flies off in one direction as I see the touch screen shatter into an unusable piece of equipment.
Nick grabs my biceps next, pulling me out of the elevator and into the house. He pushes me against the wall, his fingers digging into my skin. Fear rises in me. If he hurts me, it’s not just me he can harm. My baby. Oh, God, please don’t let him do something stupid. My head spins at the quick movements and the drama around me. I feel dizzy, weak and scared. How far will this escalate?
“You called her!” he roars. “The life you were supposed to leave behind!”
My head hurts as I frantically try to think of what he’s talking about. “I called Doll… is that what this is about?”
“Yes! I’m your priority. Me! You can’t do it, though. You can’t walk away from them. I can’t have those people, that kind, around me, around us, with the business I do.”
Needing space, needing to diffuse the situation, I simply drop my head. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I missed my friend.”
“No more phone. Dammit, I finally got them to stop calling you by changing your number, and now they have your new one. You’re gonna have to get a new phone again, Savannah,” he says, seeming to calm down at my easy agreement.
“Well, that one is useless now. I will need a new one anyways.”
His eyes flash in warning that I best not push my luck. His grip is still so firm on my arms I am certain to have bruises from them. What the hell am I going to do with Doll coming to town tomorrow?
“I wanted a different color anyway.” I smile sweetly.
This seems to appease him since I don’t make it about him breaking my phone. He lessens his grasp on my arms and steps back a little. “I’ll pick up a new one first thing in the morning for you, Savannah. We need to meet with the wedding planner next week. She wants us to sample cakes.”
He is obviously trying to move on and relax the tension between us. I will play the part, just as I have been for the last year. It’s time to make some serious decisions, though, because I won’t raise my child in this kind of home. Nick’s temper is unpredictable, and his need to control me is out of hand.
For now, however, I smile and brush my lips softly against his.
~Tank~
Doll is on her way into town, and Tripp has texted me to keep an eye on her while she’s here. I have been in Catawba a lot lately but got back home two days ago. Apparently, she is coming for Sass and doesn’t know how long she will be in town. Doll wouldn’t leave Tripp for an undetermined amount of time if it wasn’t serious, though.
I have tried to call my Button, but suddenly, her phone is disconnected again. I don’t like it. I’m not going to sit around and wait for Doll to show up, either.
The ride to Sass’s house has my adrenaline flowing. Why would she reach out to Doll and not anyone local? Those two are thick as thieves. I know she would call her if she felt trapped but didn’t want anyone to know.
Parking my bike under her house, I see the Cayenne in its usual place. This is a good sign she’s home.
Making my way up the stairs, I ignore the pain shooting through my leg because I rush, not pacing myself. At the door, rather than ring the bell, I pound on the frame. It doesn’t take her long to answer this time. Her expression as she opens the door to find me lets me know she was expecting Doll or Nick, not me.
“Tank, what are you doing here?”
“Your phone’s been disconnected.”
“Ummm… I wanted a new one in a different color,” she lies. Who gets a new number with a new phone these days? Why didn’t she transfer her old number to the new phone?
She is fuckin’ lying to my face. One thing we have never done is lie to each other about anything. The truth may have hurt each of us at different times, but it was the truth.
My mind races as I study her. She’s watching over my shoulders and around my sides. She’s on edge. Something isn’t right.
“Cut the bullshit, Button. What the fuck’s goin’ on?”
“Nothin’. I’ve been busy. I have a wedding to plan, you know?” she says, flaunting that gaudy diamond engagement ring pretty boy gave her, even though I can hear the crack in her voice as she mentions the wedding. The wedding that I am not going to let happen. If she was happy, that would be different, but she’s not.
“Really, the sarcasm with me isn’t necessary. I take it you figured out what you want then?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“This isn’t you. You push buttons, you fight when there isn’t even a reason to argue. Where are you in there?” I say, tapping my finger against her temple. “I’m not gonna let you push me away.”
When she meets my stare, I see her eyes are glazed over in unshed tears. Unable to stop myself, I pull her into me, slamming her head against my chest. I feel her body shudder under me before she finally reaches around and hugs me back. Content to have her in my arms, I simply hold her while she lets it all out. After a few moments, she composes herself and steps back.
“Talk to me, Button.” I follow her in the house. “I know Doll’s on her way here for you. Why?”
She stops walking and sighs. “It’s—”
“Don’t fuckin’ say it!” I cut her off harshly. “I know it’s complicated, that’s why you have your best friend driving five hours to the coast to help you, support you, or I don’t know what, but it ain’t for a damn wedding no matter what the two of you say.”
Her face confirms my thoughts. “Yeah, Button, Doll’s lyin’ to her man for you. Tripp thinks you two are wedding plannin’, but that’s a bunch of shit, ain’t it? If that was the case, she could say when
she’s coming home. Bein’ she can’t tell her man when she’ll be back, that tells me you’re in some shit. You called her yesterday and she’s packed up and heading here. For her to be that quick means something serious. Am I wrong?”
The fire lights up in her eyes when she meets my gaze. There’s my girl, ready to challenge me, ready to fight.
“So you know me. You know Doll. You know we got some shit to handle. That doesn’t mean I need you. Sorry to burst your bubble, but we’re just fine without you here. So climb on your steel horse and ride off into the sunset and leave Tripp outta this.”
I laugh. “Oh, now you’ve found that bite I love so much. Protectin’ Doll will bring that out, so that’s what it takes. Who’s protectin’ you, Button?”
She blinks, yet she doesn’t answer.
“I got a bad feelin’, Button. Your dad’s got a bad feelin’. We’ve tried to give you space so you can see the club is your family. Tried to let you sort it out for yourself that you belong with us—you belong with me. Hell, I’ve tried to let you make the choice on your own to come back. Is that why Doll’s here? You gonna leave pretty-boy?”
“I can’t leave, Tank.” Her words cut me deeply.
“What the fuck do you mean, you CAN’T?” I reply sharply.
“Two lines say my life will never be the same. Two lines say I can’t look back on anything because my future is far from what I imagined it to be. Two lines say I’m having a baby by a man I don’t love. Two lines say… I can’t leave.”
I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. She’s pregnant. She feels trapped. Well, she’s not; I’ll always be her way out.
“Button, two lines are the road before you. Two lines guide you to your path. Two lines that will take you in a new direction. Button, you gotta know… Button, that baby is you, and you, baby, are mine.”
She breathes deeply. “What are you sayin’, Tank?”
“I’m sayin’, enough bullshit. Enough sortin’ shit out. Enough of it all. Pack up, I’m takin’ you home. You’re gonna have your baby with the man you love. I heard you in the hospital. Every fuckin’ time you were there, you pulled me out of the darkness. You love me. You told me.” I cup her chin in my hand as I bring my forehead to hers. “I love you, Button, with every beat of my heart. I fuckin’ love you.”
Tears are falling down her face, and I wipe them with the pads of my thumbs. “Pack your stuff. I’m gonna take the bike back and get my truck. When I get back, you’re leavin’ him.”
“He won’t let me just leave, Tank.”
“What the fuck do you mean, he won’t just let you leave? You afraid of him?”
She avoids my eyes. She’s afraid but too stubborn to admit it.
“Button, let me handle him. He’s at work. I’m gonna go get the truck. We’re movin’ you out.”
“He doesn’t know about the baby. I just found out yesterday and called Doll.”
“Don’t worry your pretty little head with the details, Button. Pack up. I’ll handle the rest. Doll will be here in about two hours or so. Let me go get my truck and get you home before she gets into town. She’ll help you settle into my house.”
When she nods her head in agreement, I kiss her forehead and take off to switch out my bike for the truck. I also need to call Doll and tell her the change of plans and to meet Sass at my house.
My woman is pregnant. She’s moving in and we’re going to have a baby. When I got up this morning, this certainly is not how I imagined my day would go. I’m not complaining, though. Since I woke up from the coma, I’ve waited for the day I would have her back. And today is that day.
Chapter
17
Mine
~Sass~
Tank’s right, the two lines are a sign of a new path and a new direction.
I am in my closet getting ready to pack. As I run my hands over the clothing, I realize none of them are mine. Going to the dresser, I have a few items left from before, but most of them are the fancy shit Nick bought me. Pretty, but they’re not comfortable.
The more I look around, the more I take in the loss of me. Nothing here is really mine. A few articles of clothing, like Tank’s sweat pants and my dad’s old t-shirt but nothing truly memorable. Nothing that brings my personality to what’s supposed to be my home.
In the bathroom, I hear movement in my bedroom. Coming around the corner, I expect to see Tank or maybe Doll, so I am completely unprepared for Nick to be in my face.
“Is there something you maybe want to share with me, Savannah?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, feeling the tension radiate off him.
“I got a call today from the pharmacy. Our insurance won’t cover your brand of prenatal vitamins after all, so you’ll have to keep paying full price like yesterday or have the doctor call in a different prescription. I’m a little curious as to why you need prenatal vitamins.”
“When I was sick… apparently antibiotics weaken birth control. We had sex.”
Before I can react, he’s pushing me harshly into the wall. “What have you done?” He’s yelling at me. “This ruins everything. I never planned to have kids with shit like you. Just get married, get divorced, pay you off, and move on. I need the company from my father, not the baggage of a real wife, much less a kid.” His hand comes up around my throat. “You’ve fucked everything up.” His spit sprays my face with every word as his hand gets tighter.
“Nick,” I try to choke out as I feel the pressure building from my windpipe closing. “Think… about…” I gulp as I reach up to pull at his wrists, “the baby. You’re… hurting me.”
Releasing me harshly, he throws his hand up backing away from me. “Don’t say it’s mine. The bastard child in your belly could be anyone’s. I know you’ve been seeing Tank. That’s his little Hellion.”
I struggle to catch my breath as Nick suddenly starts throwing my stuff out of the drawers.
“You’re right; it’s mine and she’s mine. A bastard, it is not,” Tank says as he walks through the bedroom door.
Shit! How much has he seen? How much did he hear? He will kill Nick for hurting me.
Without thinking, I walk to Tank to put myself between the two men, just in case.
“You can have her.”
Something in me snaps at those words. “Have me? He can have me? Like you’re giving me away? Clue in, dipshit; he’s here because I was planning on leavin’ your ass.”
“You were fun to play with. Obviously, this isn’t going to work, though. So, you go back to the trailer park, and I’ll find someone else to easily fill your shoes.”
“You’re a piece of work. How many times did you say you loved me? Huh, Nick? I did everything you asked of me. I left everything to make you my PRIORITY!” I drag out the last word for emphasis and in frustration.
“You know I needed you for the company because my dad wanted to see I was settling down. Well, you’re a true example of just settling for me.”
Tank pulls me to him, my back to his front as he addresses Nick. “You need to shut the fuck up right now.” He then turns me to him, “Button, what stuff are you bringin’ with us? We need to leave. He’s not worth the time and you don’t need the bullshit. I told you I’d handle him and I will.”
“Handle what, scumbag?”
“You, fucker,” Tank answers, glaring at Nick.
“Get the hell out, both of you!” Nick roars.
“Just the duffle bag, Tank. None of this other shit is mine.”
“The deal with your dad for the company just tanked. The nice car you’re driving, you won’t have much longer. The museum you call a house, it’s gonna slip through your greedy, little fingers. Everything you think you have is an illusion that’s gonna disappear. You bought yourself a seat in the center of my radar today, fucker,” Tank says to Nick before taking my hand and leading me out of my bedroom and out of the house.
When we get to Tank’s house, the ramp off the side of the porch is a r
eminder of how far he has come in his recovery.
Doll is waiting for us. She runs up to the truck and is at my door when I get out. We hug, neither of us talking for a bit.
“Doll, I owe you an apology for pushing you away. I’m sorry for not answering your calls, and most of all, not keepin’ it real with my very best friend.”
“Forget it, babe. Just don’t do it again. I’ve missed the hell outta ya.” She hugs me tighter.
We make our way inside where the living room is painted in a soft gray with a darker gray microfiber couch and loveseat in the center. Black end tables and a coffee table accent the room, but they are empty as is the fireplace mantel.
“It’s bare, but you can decorate it however you want,” Tank says, watching my face as if he’s looking for my approval.
“It’s home.” I smile at him, knowing it’s the truth. As soon as I stepped my foot in the door, I felt at peace. I am comfortable for the first time in a very long time.
“Well, it’s not very big, but we can add on if you want.”
Reaching up, I run my hand over his cheek. “One thing at a time. We’re gonna work through all the details, but it’s been a whirlwind two days for me.”
“I’m gonna go change the sheets on my bed so you can sleep there tonight. I’ll take the couch. We can set up another bed in the second room later. Get settled, relax, and tomorrow you and Doll can go shopping for clothes and whatever else you need, Button.” He starts to walk away, so I reach out to stop him.
“Thank you for helping me. Thank you for standing up for me. Thank you for not giving up on me and on us.”
“I’m never gonna give up on you, Button,” he states as he pulls away to make his way to the back room.
“So fill me in, how did you end up agreeing to come here?” Doll asks as we make our way over to the couch to get comfortable.
She is my best friend so I tell her everything that’s happened with Nick. I relay the entire back story of the last year of my life with her, finally holding nothing back. Well, everything that is, except Nick’s reaction to the baby. It’s unbelievably hard. It’s embarrassing. Reciting the small details I didn’t notice before, I am now aware of how blind I’ve been to all the little things Nick has done to me. What a mess I’ve gotten myself into?
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