by M. L. Young
I missed him in a way I wouldn’t really miss a guy I barely knew this early into dating, but I felt secure in that. Sometimes you fall harder for some people than others, and it’s okay to feel like you’re really missing somebody even if you don’t know everything about them. Sometimes all you can go by are the feelings they give you when you’re together, and those warm, loving feelings are what your body remembers when you think about being with them again. For me those feelings were pretty great, and I desperately wanted them again after being without them for so long. I thought he felt the same way.
I did a little bit of studying, mostly just required reading that would be on an upcoming quiz, as my eyes read but my mind didn’t really pay that much attention. There was something a little bigger on my mind. Malia popped in and said goodnight before closing my door and turning off the hallway light. My Christmas rope lights illuminated the room with their soft glow shining on my glossy textbook pages before I closed it and tossed it on the floor.
I picked up my phone, opening the web browser and searching for Cash. Thousands of images showed up on Google, all of them bearing his face. I smiled a little as I saw the plethora of images, both professional and paparazzi.
I came across ours, the picture of the two of us out that night, before I clicked on it to read the article. It didn’t mention me much, mostly just about him being out on the town with a mystery woman, though they had no information about me, which was really what I wanted. I wasn’t totally invisible, but I blended into the crowd enough that the focus wasn’t on me, what I was wearing, or how fat or skinny I was.
I knew dating an actor or anybody famous would open me up to that type of criticism, especially if we ever got official and I showed up with him everywhere, but I thought I was ready to make that sacrifice. It came with the territory, and once it got out and my face was placed with my name and everything about me, that would be it. I could never erase the pictures or articles, and I would forever be known as Cash Hawthorne’s girlfriend.
I thought it would be okay, though. I wasn’t a bad person, neither was Cash, and it wasn’t like I was going to get wrapped up in some scandal or news headline that would embarrass me and hurt Cash. I was, for all intents and purposes, normal, and that wasn’t going to change just because I was having sex with a celebrity.
I locked my phone, setting it on my nightstand before turning off the rope lights and sliding down into my bed. I flipped the bottom of the comforter in like a sleeping bag, keeping it tight, and rolled onto my side. I knew I was going to be heading into something very new, but new can be good, and I knew this was a good kind of new that would be great.
Chapter Eleven
Cash
“Any big plans tonight?” Melina, one of the makeup artists, asked.
“Actually, I’m going out tonight. I’m pretty excited,” I said, smiling.
“Big group going? Those nights out can be pretty fun, speaking from experience,” she said.
“Just one other person, no group,” I said, rubbing my hands together. I hadn’t really talked about Jenna to anybody yet, not even my brothers, and we were close.
It had to do with the jinx in me. I felt like if I said anything too soon, at least to people who really mattered, I’d mess it up. Then they would ask me about it and her and I’d have to embarrassingly tell them that it ended and didn’t work out and then I’d be back to square one. It had happened a few times before, even in high school, and I vowed not to let it happen again.
“Ooh, a girl,” she said as Charlie perked up.
“You didn’t tell me you were seeing anybody!” he said.
“I’m not, I don’t think. I don’t want to jinx it!” I said.
“You deserve a great girl. You work so hard, you stay out of trouble, and you’re as handsome as all hell. Treat her right and good things will follow,” Melina said.
Melina was sort of like a surrogate mother here. She worked on my first movie as well, and she took it upon herself to act motherly to me and the rest of the younger cast and crew. I thought she was in her fifties, so it was definitely believable that she could be our mother. It was nice having somebody like her around, especially considering my own mother wasn’t out here.
“You’re going to have to fill me in sometime, bro,” Charlie said.
I went back to my thoughts, a little embarrassed if I was being honest, and let Melina finish up work before I looked in the mirror and saw my flawless skin and hair. It was just a shame I couldn’t look this airbrush-ready at all times. I’d never have to worry about a pimple ever again.
I went on set, leaving Charlie behind as David called for me to begin shooting. It was one of the final action scenes of the movie, involving me jumping from a helicopter, which I was happy to say wasn’t really the case. Instead we had part of a helicopter with a green screen behind it, as well as green screen-wrapped foam blocks for support and for me to jump onto. It was so fascinating to see how all this actually worked. The finished product always gave me chills, even though I knew how it actually went down. I was five feet off the ground at max, not five thousand.
I grouped up, getting onto the helicopter, before smoke rolled in and David called action. I fought off some bad guys, tossing them off without parachutes, before I grabbed the last parachute off a dead guy and strapped it onto myself. I jumped out onto the platform, and David called cut, ending the scene happy with how it turned out. Now just to film me falling through the air and pulling my cord before we had our movie magic.
•••
I stood in front of my bathroom mirror later that night before I shaved off the small amount of five o’clock shadow along my cheeks and jaw line. I told Jenna it would be beach casual, but I didn’t tell her what we were doing or where we were going. I had on slim-fit khaki slacks and a white shirt, no tie, with a pair of slip-on boat shoes I’d recently gotten from some shoe designer for free. One of the many perks of being a celebrity was all the free stuff from just about every company out there that wanted good press and some exposure. The “what are you wearing” question on the red carpet was the cheapest form of marketing you could do for the amount of press and exposure you received.
I sent a car to pick up Jenna, mostly because of the drive times and our dinner reservations, but I promised her I’d take her home afterwards myself. Shooting ran about half an hour later, and with Los Angeles traffic that pushed me back over an hour. I’d much rather have seen her sooner, but it just wasn’t realistic.
I picked up my phone and wallet, grabbed my keys off of the counter, and rolled out in the SUV, the bright LED headlights making the dark garage look like the sun was shining in.
Time to go see that beautiful face.
Chapter Twelve
Jenna
I hadn’t a clue where exactly on the coast I was when the driver pulled up to a restaurant, which wasn’t all that busy, before I saw Cash standing outside. He was smiling from ear to ear when the car stopped and he came up to open the door.
“Good evening,” he said, extending his hand.
“Where are we?” I asked, looking around.
“Somewhere magical,” he said, and I wrapped my arm around his and followed him.
We walked around the building, which wasn’t all that large, and onto the sand, where I took off my shoes and carried them with me. Were we having a picnic or something? We walked around the corner and I saw a table on a wooden platform with candles lit and the table all done up with flowers and candles. It was beautiful, as the waves nearby gently crashed onto the shore and the moon glimmered along the water.
“This is…beautiful,” I said, in shock.
“I knew I had to bring the heat if I were going to have a third date,” he said.
“You don’t have to do all this, Cash. Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful and I greatly appreciate it, but you don’t have to,” I said.
“You’re worth it,” he said before he pulled out my chair and I sat down. I looked at hi
m as he walked around to his chair, the light breeze blowing around the collar of his shirt as his masculine chest waved hello from underneath.
Cash grabbed a bottle of wine that was chilling in ice and poured us some as I couldn’t help but take all this in. I was just as happy getting drive-thru burgers and fries, but I couldn’t help but get wrapped up in all this, even if it were just for the sentiment. Even though I was so appreciative, it still scared me a little. This was great for an anniversary, but I wasn’t accustomed to extravagance, and I wasn’t sure where we went from here, considering it was only the second date.
I didn’t say a word, not one to ruin the great moment, as I knew I could say something later if I still felt that way. Maybe it was all just a bit overwhelming and I needed some wine to process it.
“The meal is already set, I hope that’s okay. They’re cooking it now,” he said.
“Yeah, that’s fine. I’m not all that picky,” I said, taking a sip of wine.
“How was your day?” he asked.
“It went as well as it could. My days are never all that exciting,” I said, laughing.
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that. Too much excitement can quickly become boring. I wouldn’t mind some normalness and downtime,” he said.
Some soft house-baked French bread was brought out with oil and balsamic vinegar, and the two of us made short work of it, picking the basket clean while we talked and laughed. There was something so natural about it all, something so innocent yet intense at the same time. I knew I wouldn’t have this with another guy, at least no one that I’d met. The normal Los Angeles guy was more concerned about getting ass than building a connection of any type, unless it were on a dating app.
The two of us got filled with a little more wine before the waitress brought out our meals and set them down in front of us. “We have mahi-mahi with a yogurt dill sauce, wild rice, and roasted vegetables for you tonight. If you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
“This looks beautiful,” I said, taking out my phone.
“One of those girls, huh?” he asked jokingly.
“No! At least not all the time,” I said, smiling. I snapped a picture of the food, keeping it more for myself than for Instagram, and put my phone away before picking up my silverware.
The fish was so smooth and buttery, the dill sauce drizzling down the side once I made a cut. My mouth watered, the bread not holding me steady, before I took a bite and felt it melt in my mouth. I closed my eyes, chewing slowly to savor as much of this moment as I could. All I could hear was the waves crashing and light violin music from the patio. “Good?” he asked.
“Orgasmic,” I mumbled, cutting another piece.
“That’s a pretty strong word,” he said, laughing.
“It doesn’t compare with the ones you gave me, but it’s a close second,” I said, pouring another glass of wine.
“Good to know,” he said, grinning.
I ate slowly, trying to remember every bite, as Cash talked and I mostly listened. “I talked about you today,” he said out of the blue.
“Oh, you did? To who?” I asked, curious.
“Well, not about you I guess, but about going out tonight with a woman. I told my makeup artist. She’s like the resident mother on set,” he said.
“So you didn’t really talk about me in particular then?” I asked.
“Well, I didn’t say your name, I don’t think, but she knew I was going out with you,” he said.
“When do you say my name?” I asked as the alcohol took over.
“I don’t follow,” he said.
“Well, this is our second date and all, right? What kind of a guy are you when it comes to officialness? Five dates? Ten? Three months seeing one another?” I asked, taking my final bite.
“I suppose it depends on the woman. Are you asking because you’re interested, or just curious?” he asked.
I looked at the sand, thinking, as I realized in my buzzed state that I’d said too much. I was putting myself out there, which I didn’t like, at least to this extent, and I needed to try to save face before it was too late and I screwed everything up.
“Just curious, I suppose,” I said, smiling.
“Oh, okay, well I guess it just depends on the rapport I have with the woman and if she can assimilate into my life and the hectic and crazy nature of it. If you’re subtly asking about you, I like you, and I think we’re heading in that direction, if that’s what you want to hear,” he said.
I could feel my cheeks warming up as I brushed my bare foot against the sand-covered wood below and cleared my throat. “That’s very good to know,” I said, smiling.
He smiled back before dessert was brought, a chocolate soufflé paired with fresh berries and whipped cream. Even though I was full of bread and fish, I couldn’t help myself and I took a big bite, the raspberries and blueberries bursting in my mouth while the soft chocolate rolled around my tongue and slid effortlessly down my throat.
“Wow,” I said, excited.
“Their desserts are the best, aren’t they?” he asked.
“You’ve been here before?” I asked.
“With my parents when they visited last. I promise it wasn’t this romantic,” he said, laughing.
“I’d hope not. I was wondering if I was going to have to ask you just how close you were with them,” I said.
We finished off our dessert and walked along the beach as the cold Pacific water occasionally rolled over our feet and curled my toes in. Cash had his arm around me, mine around his waist, as we wandered with nowhere to go. An hour passed, and as he looked at his watch, the gold band shimmering beneath the stars, he said we should get going before it got too late.
I still had no clue if he was taking me home or back to his place, but I was sort of hoping for the latter. I just wanted to be with him, cuddling and feeling his strong arms around me all night long. I wanted to feel secure, and I did with him, whether he knew that or not.
I didn’t say anything, and instead went along for the ride as we went in the opposite direction of my place, towards what I thought was his house. I told Malia earlier that I might or might not come home tonight, and of course she sat there and hoped and prayed that I wouldn’t come back. She seemed to think Cash was somehow her meal ticket in life, though she was going to be sorely mistaken if anything did come of us.
As we pulled onto his street, the houses looking familiar, I got a little antsy in my seat as he opened his gate and we drove inside. He got out of the car and opened my door for me, helping me out, as my eyes felt a little heavy and tired.
“Want to get in bed?” he asked, to which I quickly nodded.
We walked up the stairs and to his room, holding hands the entire time, before we went inside and kicked off our clothes. Neither of us initiated anything sexual, even though it was both familiar and likely wanted, but we instead opted to crawl into bed. I felt his arms around me, my head flush against the pillow as I smiled. He laced his fingers with mine, his chin on my shoulder, before I breathed in a heavy breath and let it out slowly.
“Thank you for tonight. I had the most wonderful time ever,” I said as his feet brushed softly against mine.
“Thank you for coming out tonight with me, and for being so great. I’m glad you decided to stay tonight,” he said.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here right now,” I said, biting my lower lip gently.
No more words were spoken as the two of us let go and let our minds go to sleep. It didn’t take long, a full stomach rolling me into sleep as my eyelids became heavy and my breath deepened. This was much better than being alone in my own bed.
Chapter Thirteen
Cash
I pulled up to the airport in my SUV and waited as my mother called me, frantic, wondering how she and my father were going to find me. It had been about five days since I’d last seen Jenna, and two days ago my mom surprised me and said they were coming to visit whether I want
ed them to or not. She was a stubborn woman, always wanting her way or the highway, but I still loved her for it.
“I’m just out front. The slew of paparazzi should be enough to show you where I am. Wait, I see you!” I said, putting my car into drive and pulling up to where they were.
She hung up, waving, before putting her phone in her purse and walking with my father in tow. I pulled up to the side, the paparazzi running from where I just was, before I put my car into park and got out to greet and help them.
“Are they always like this?” she asked, looking at the photographers.
“Pretty much. I’m not even sure how they found me. I think they were trying to get somebody else,” I said as I hugged her.
My father gave me a quick hug, him never quite the one for gratuitous affection, before I opened my trunk and tossed their suitcases inside. My father got in the car, up front with me, before I quickly got in, locked us all inside, and drove off while the camera flashes were still going off. I hated that part of the whole acting thing.
“So, how have you guys been?” I asked.
“I think we should be the ones asking you that, honey,” my mother said.
“Why?” I asked.
“It’s so hard to get a hold of you. You know your brothers don’t give us that trouble,” she said.
“Well, they don’t have demanding jobs that keep them busy twenty-four-seven,” I said.
“Still, would it kill you to call me once or twice a week?” she asked.
“No, it wouldn’t. I’ll do better, I promise,” I said.
“Good, that’s all I wanted to hear,” she said.
“So, work has been going well?” my father asked.
“As good as it can, I guess. It’s demanding, but luckily I wasn’t filming today so I could come get you guys. I will be there tomorrow, though. I’d love it if you guys came by and checked out the set and met everyone,” I said.
