“How are you here?” Mr. Todd asked, letting go of Salvador and happy to transform back into his much more comfortable, incorporeal self.
“Are you alright?” Miss Baxter inquired.
Dashing bent double, with both hands cupped over his knees. “I’m fine. The others are back a ways.” Taking in a deep breath, Mr. Dashing stood up straight. “It’s good to see you again, Miss Baxter. I knew this ol’ boy would find you.” Trying to clap Simon upon the back, subsequently failing in the endeavor, caused the gunman a moment of surprise.
“It’s a long story,” Simon explained.
“Well, we can swap them later,” Dashing replied. “Mr. Darcy’s in trouble. I think the mages may have gotten him.”
Simon paled. Mr. Dashing strode forward to grab the old donkey’s reins. “We need to go back and join the others at the bottom,” he said. “We’re going to need supplies.”
Mr. Todd nodded, not before giving the stubborn ass a look of contempt. “Alright,” he said, hoping he wouldn’t be the one to haul him back up again before realizing his own callous attitude in the face of a missing Jane Darcy. “Let’s go.”
Dashing was already on his way, Penelope on his heels as he led the way effortlessly up then down the slope. It was much easier going down than up, Simon noticed. The ground didn’t seem to give away for him as it did for the others, but he was a bit concerned for Miss Baxter and the long bell of her skirts getting in the way. She carried herself well however, and after far less time than it had taken to scale the mountainside, the three were once again meandering through Morningwood.
Chapter 31
Red Tea, Set, All Aboard!
Jane Darcy watched Simon’s odd expression as the suit clad gentleman walked into the glade. Molly, Sally and Fae were in front of Jane, backs turned towards him and regarding Miss Baxter, Dashing and Mr. Todd happily. Jane, however, was mulling about the odd decisions of the night before.
Despite his lack of clothing, he was very nude at the moment, save for Mr. Dashing’s duster. Jane felt rather warm. The air beneath the treetops was still and stale compared to the air above, and without the wind in his wings, Mr. Darcy felt a bit like a rumpled banner hanging in the hot afternoon sun.
“Ladies! Mr. Darcy!” Simon’s ebullience, though genuine, seemed a bit manufactured. Jane was glad to see the man, but there was something sad in the way of Simon’s slight overreaction. Humans were so easy to read, sometimes. They lacked hard scales that kept their features stoic.
“I thought you said the mages got him?” Simon asked Mr. Dashing, regarding Jane.
The gunslinger laughed, his half-singed, bristled moustache brushing against the stubble on his face. “They did. Blew the clothes right off him with a fire blast.”
That was slightly true, Jane thought. If those insufferable mages hadn’t thrown fire at him, ruining their dirigible, he most certainly wouldn’t have become so enraged as to turn back into a dragon, ruining his clothes. Jane was still rather sour about the whole affair. He had been inches from flying over and tossing a pillar of dragon fire right back, but couldn’t bring himself to just allow the others to fall to their deaths. Which was troubling to say the least.
These small, fleshy, short-lived humans had somehow become dear to him. He didn’t know Molly or her sister very well, but he didn’t want to see them flattened on the forest floor either. Flying at an incredible speed, Jane had managed to secure them all before anything horrid occurred. But now he faced a different conundrum. What was he going to do when they finally tracked down his lair? Gobble them up? He couldn’t do that now.
“If you don’t mind, he could use some clothes.” Molly stood with her hand on her hip, carefully angling her view away from him.
Jane had found it amusing that all three women were quite abashed at his lack of attire, but had been sneaking improper glances in his direction all morning. Mr. Darcy enjoyed thinking that perhaps he had chosen an attractive human body to run amok in, though he was not quite certain what the hang up on nudity was. Dragons never wore anything. No other creatures really did unless they were trying to fit into human society. Jane wondered why human people were always so enamoured by draping their bodies in cumbersome cloth.
Simon’s eyes grew wide as he espied Jane in his altogether. Turning towards Salvador and fetching his briefcase, Mr. Todd returned to him, post haste.
“You can borrow something of mine,” he said, feeling more flustered by the situation than Jane was currently expressing.
Mr. Darcy wondered if he should act more concerned to fit in, or if this was just Mr. Todd acting like, well, himself.
“Thank you, Mr. Todd.” Jane peered into the case, and began to select a new suit to don, taking notice of the robotic legged dog that seemed to be staring up at him from between Salvador’s four crooked legs.
“Oh, and here.” From his back pocket Simon produced Mr. Darcy’s scarlet colored spectacles. The young accountant seemed to consider them a moment as the young scholar reacted happily to their discovery, as though he was a bit surprised they were there in his back pocket in the first place.
“How did you escape?” Miss Baxter asked.
Dashing, of course, regaled them with the tale of their daring escape as Jane donned Mr. Todd’s tanned, tweed trousers and adjusted his glasses. Jane was impressed that the gunslinger only mildly exaggerated things, and that the girls didn’t call him out on it too much when he did so.
“Memories are a bit blurry at the end. The ship crashed and most of us remember falling overboard, but something seemed to carry us all to the ground safely.
“The ship wasn’t very high up,” Jane broke in, happy it had been dark and he’d had the foresight to drop them just high enough to make it seem like they caught on something to break the fall.
“I felt like something caught us,” Sally said. “I remember rolling on something hard.”
“Treetops?” Mr. Darcy suggested. He had been forced to catch her on his back, Molly and Dashing in his claws. Fae Hershal? Well, he managed to spread his right wing far enough to catch her as well, but had torn it a bit in his haste and now his back hurt and was surely bruised.
“What about you two?” Fae looked over at Mr. Todd. She had been eying the Bichon Frise for a while now and bent down to offer it a palm to lick. “This little guy been givin’ ya some ‘elp? Or did Simon do it all ‘imself?”
“That’s Mr. Ardale’s dog!” Sally cried, bending down to pet it.
Simon laughed awkwardly, the confidence Mr. Dashing displayed absent in the young accountant.
“Simon was very brave.” Miss Baxter walked forward, taking him by the arm.
Jane couldn’t help but think there was something different about Mr. Todd, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint what.
“Well you can think up a great story to tell us later,” Dashing intervened. “We all ought to be getting out of here before every acolyte in Grimguild shows up to bring us in and prove themselves.”
“You’re very right,” Penelope agreed.
“What about you two?” Simon inquired, looking at the Stein sisters. “Will you be accompanying us to Ebonguard as well?”
Jane could see Mr. Dashing turn away to hide his frown, no doubt thinking of his hoard and how much less of it he’d have if forced to split it two more ways.
Luckily for him, Molly shook her head. “No. Sally and I need to get back to Piper’s Toss.” Miss Baxter cocked her head.
“Are you sure it will be safe for you two there?” she asked.
Molly waved her hand. “As safe as it ever was.” She picked out a stray leaf tangled in Sally’s hair as the younger girl crooned over Lucifer. “We need to get a few things then maybe think about relocating somewhere else.”
Simon could see the concern on Miss Molly’s face, the love and worry only an elder sister could exhibit towards a sibling.
“Well if you ever need a place, you could come to Darlington,” Simon suggested. “I don’t mind lendi
ng a helping hand if you find yourselves without a place to go.”
Sally slapped her hands together, utterly beaming as she stood up straight to regard him. “Thank you, Mr. Todd!”
“Darlington could use a brothel.”
Simon steered a rather ornery look towards Mr. Dashing at this comment, but the man was seemingly impervious to Mr. Todd’s nasty glances, especially when Fae agreed, adding that a dice house would also be a welcome addition to the quaint town.
Molly laughed in either case. “Well it would certainly put my charm magic to good use.”
Looking like he would topple over, Mr. Dashing removed his hat, gesturing with it profoundly. “That’s it!” he howled, looking in an arc towards the others.
Miss Baxter, Jane, who was now mostly clothed, and Fae regarded him dubiously. Simon had been startled a bit by the sudden outburst. “Certainly you ladies wouldn’t mind helping us out?” Dick suggested.
Sally shook her head before Molly even had the chance to answer. “Not at all!” she said, obviously confident her sister would have said the same.
Dashing’s great idea was contained within a sheath of deception. “You two can use your charm magic to get us on the Cardinal. All you have to do,” he explained, “is talk to the Captain about getting us work aboard for free passage to Ebonguard.”
Simon’s interest was immediately piqued.
Molly pursed her lips, looking down then back up again.
“What do you think?” she asked Sally.
The freckled beauty laughed, sunlight pooling on her face and hair. “They did help you out, Molly.”
“Us out. Remember which one of us was a prisoner?”
Sally waved her hand. “Mr. Ardale would have let me go eventually. He told me so. He was really, very nice.”
Again, Molly frowned, deeper this time. “He almost killed us all,” she said coldly.
“Well he didn’t.”
Molly made a sound of exasperation, shaking her head before extending her arms in an attempt to change the subject. “I’ll do it,” she said, regarding Mr. Dashing’s request. “Let me go talk to someone.”
“I’ll come, too!”
Molly made no objection as her sister bounded up enthusiastically behind her. Mr. Todd and company waited patiently for a few moments before deciding to amble up the mountain after them. They took their time. Thankfully Mr. Dashing was the one to guide old Salvador. Simon was certain Jane Darcy had noticed something rather odd about him as they departed, and so he went about formulating the tale he’d tell once they were safely aboard the zeppelin. Mr. Todd was also slightly bothered that the good gentleman’s spectacles were solid on the young scholar’s face, when they had appeared ghostly in Simon’s hand when he had went to fetch them from his back pocket.
Death touched spectacles!
Simon wondered if it would be a good idea to omit certain details about Miss Baxter, then couldn’t help thinking about her for the duration of their trek upwards.
Surprisingly, the party of five did not have to wait long until the two girls were back. Simon was sure the answer was no, which was why they had been able to return post-haste. Molly and Sally walked towards them, smiling and confident, and Mr. Todd managed to get his hopes up just enough to ensure he wouldn’t be devastated when the answer was ultimately no.
“So?” Dashing asked. He had re-donned his duster, as well as the pistol Simon had salvaged from their fight with Heironymous. All pieces of his attire were still slightly singed however, making him look a bit like some kind of failed pyromaniac.
“You can ride,” Molly said, a sly smile catching at her eyes. “He’ll even give you a room with two beds.”
“We’ll have a room in the Cardinal?” Simon looked up, eyes filling with the sight of the phoenix. He hadn’t ridden on a dirigible before. Only the tales his father used to tell him about the E-DAC troops had kept his fantasies alive. That he was going to fly — him! A lowly accountant flying on the Cardinal. Simon could hardly contain himself.
“There must be a catch,” Jane said doubtfully, pulling at his red spectacles and settling them upon his nose. “They wouldn’t offer a stately room to mere workers.”
Sally shook her head. “Only two of you will have to work. The captain said he needed two strapping young men to help man the engine room.”
Molly nodded. “Fae Hershal of course, will be given the most esteemed service. All expenses will be billed to the Hershal bank directly upon landing.”
Everyone looked to Fae then, who ran a hand through her hair a bit nervously.
“Oh. Right. Me pops ought to be thrilled to ‘ear it.” Fae bit her lip.
“We hardly had to do anything when they heard you’d be onboard,” Molly said. “Just a matter of convincing them to bill the bank.”
“I’ve been on the bloated bird before. Captain’ll probably tag on any ol’ expense he can muster up in that noggin of ‘is. Me pop’s gonna be thrilled.”
Simon let his jaw drop in amazement.
Miss Baxter smiled sympathetically. Dashing laughed. “Once this is all over we’ll make sure all debts are paid, Miss Hershal.”
Fae grumbled, looking up at him unconvinced. “Ya ‘ear that, Simon Todd? Write it in yer books, that one. Make sure ya draw up a receipt so whens me Dad comes looking to kick me in the arse I can say lookit ‘ere! We’re gonna pay ya back! Me mate Dick Dashing promised it so.”
Simon nodded, going towards Salvador to remove his case and retrieve the ledger from his belongings. Fae laughed. Mr. Dashing shook his head.
“You really need to write it down?” he asked
“Fae’s right. If there’s a bill forwarded to the bank, it must be recorded.”
“And paid back by the lot of us!” Fae added. “Whether we find dragon treasure or not!”
Dashing cleared his throat, looking towards the two sisters in light of Miss Hershal’s untimely confession.
“Anyway girls,” he said, flashing Fae a wide-eyed stare. “Thank you for your help in this endeavor.”
Molly shook her head. “Good luck!” she said, obviously disinterested in the idea of dragon gold. Simon watched as the two sisters left, feeling rather sad to see them go. Though he certainly wasn’t acquainted with them intimately, despite what they knew about him, he did hold a fondness for the two, especially Sally. Mr. Todd was glad at least that the two sisters were reunited again.
“Well! No time like the present I’d say!” Simon said, whirling about and pumping his arm enthusiastically. “We should go get acquainted with our new living arrangements.” Simon didn’t even care if he was one of the poor blokes, mistaken for a strapping young lad no doubt, forced to work for his accommodation. He only wanted to ride the Cardinal and feel the wind comb through his hair.
“Aptly said, Mr. Todd.” Dashing handed him the reins for Salvador, which in turn stirred the realization for Mr. Todd that he may have to spend the entirety of his flight sitting his ghostly rump upon the dead donkey’s back. Simon bit his lip, looking up and away to where he knew the dirigible sat.
Oh Gods, please! Mr. Todd pleaded inwardly, walking forward with the others. He’d be stuck in the stables for sure, tenuously balanced along the spinal column of the Grim Reaper’s former ass, whilst more lively animals and livestock went about their animal business beside him.
“Have you suddenly forgotten something, Mr. Todd?”
Simon shook his head, peering into the round, ruby windows of Mr. Darcy’s spectacles.
“No, Mr. Darcy,” he said unsurely. “Just glad we’ve all pulled ourselves together again.” Jane waited up for him as Simon chewed the inside of his lip and drug his feet forward.
“Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love,” he said.
Simon paused, taken off guard and instantly suspicious as he glanced towards Miss Baxter then back again to Mr. Darcy. “Wh-what? I don’t…” he fumbled his words, knuckles whitening upon the reins of the donkey. “
I don’t think I understand your meaning.”
Jane shrugged, smiling in good humour. “I read it in a book once,” he said. “I guess it only half fit the occasion.”
It completely fit, Simon thought, feeling even more morose at Darcy’s ability to predict a man’s quandary.
“Shoot.” The now tweed wearing gentleman-dragon in disguise huffed. “I plum forgot to take a book from the library.”
“I’m sure they’ll have some in the Cardinal there for you,” Mr. Todd encouraged forlornly, watching the ground and grass go through his feet.
“Oh, excellent.” Maybe they’ll have a library, Jane thought hopefully, fondling his newly acquired souvenir hidden within his pocket. He was quite chuffed when Molly hadn’t noticed it missing from her neck. Jane chuckled to himself.
Maybe I can get work scaring passengers, Simon thought. The phantom of the bilge! He can’t dismount his ass, so observe carefully at an arm’s length away.
“Excellent.” Simon echoed.
Chapter 32
I Like My Tea Ebony
I must have the devil’s luck, Simon thought, sticking his head out the porthole of their chambers to gasp in a lungful of air. Not only had he been able to walk upon the upper and inner decks of the Cardinal, but the Captain, a large, dandy-looking birdman, had taken one look at him and found him unfit for duty, calling upon the other two to earn the keep of the rest.
“Actually I’m a Cardinal man,” he said during the first day whilst Simon was watching smoke billow out the large turbines in the rear of the airship.
Simon had never before seen such an odd looking gentleman. He was indeed bird-looking, with a short beak and red feathers. He was dressed rather impeccably in a scarlet frock coat with double buttons on the back, and stood straight and tall in breeches of the same color, stockings and silver buckled shoes.
“If it’s all the same, how does one become a ‘Cardinal’ man?” Simon asked, hoping the question wasn’t too forward of him. It didn’t seem to be, for the man laughed, taking a watch out of his vest pocket and regarding it coolly.
The Curious Case of Simon Todd Page 33
