by Claire Adams
Ralph was my second in command and had been a truly good man. I imagined that he had pushed the other men aside when the intruders started asking about me. Ralph had an ex-wife and three daughters he sent money to. He confided in me once that he had never been a good husband, but he wanted to be a good father. He worked hard and didn’t keep any of his salary for himself. Every month he went into town and had a cashier’s check made up and sent to his family. He was proud of the support he gave them and my heard ached to know he had been murdered.
Devin was one of the youngest ranch hands we had, although you wouldn’t be able to tell it by looking at him. He was six feet six inches and nearly four hundred pounds of pure muscle. He wasn’t the brightest of kids, but he was so kind that we all fell in love with him. He had been in prison after some boys were picking on him at his college and he punched one of them who ended up dying. I honestly believed that Devin hadn’t tried to kill that boy, but just didn’t know his own strength.
I turned and watched in total astonishment as Sid walked straight toward the cabin without hesitating at all. I ran after him. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I didn’t have a gun and only the pitchfork as a weapon, but I wasn’t about to let Sid get murdered by these men who were really there after me. I would rather them just kill me than see Sid or any of his family hurt. Whomever Frank Gordano had sent to kill me, obviously they were cold blooded killers who didn’t have any problem with murdering an old man if Sid was standing in front of them.
Sid stood outside of the cabin about twenty feet away and just as I caught up to him the two men walked out the front door. There was no yelling at them. Sid didn’t give them a chance to put their weapons down. There were just two shotgun blasts to their bodies and the men fell straight to the ground. It was quite a sight to see as their bodies collapsed onto each other and everything went silent.
My hands shook, my whole body shook, as I walked with Sid over to them. He flipped the porch light on and we saw that one of the men was the new ranch hand that Sid had just hired. Sid had known that his hiring of ranch hands was the only way to get close to me. He had held off as long as he could before he finally hired the man. We had talked about it and Sid was going to lose other men from exhaustion if he didn’t get more help. We both shook our heads. It was a horrific scene, but we didn’t have time to linger over their bodies.
“Go check on those two,” Sid ordered me.
As I ran over to the other two men, I saw Meredith in Sid’s office. She was on the phone with someone, but appeared remarkably calm. It struck me that she knew exactly what to do and wasn’t crying or screaming in panic. Meredith Miller was a pretty strong woman.
When I got to Ralph and Devin’s bodies, it was clear there was nothing we could do for them. They had both been shot in the head a point blank range. The other men were standing at the window of the bunkhouse and slowly came out as they realized the two assailants were dead. Their eyes looked at me and I felt their stares even before any of them spoke.
The brains of Ralph and Devin were spewed out all over the dirt and I was the one the men were looking at. They knew I hadn’t actually shot the two, but I suspected they also knew that the gunmen had really been looking for me.
That evening I had my fill of gruesome bloodied bodies, that was for sure. I had never been so close to a dead body and it seemed unreal that I had four of them all around me. It was almost too much for me to handle and I desperately tried not to look at them anymore.
Instead, I looked at the ranch hands and searched the hate in their eyes; it wasn’t much easier to look at that. These men had been my co-workers and friends, but in that moment they appeared fearful of me. I saw it in their eyes. They thought I had something to do with their friends being murdered. Which, technically I did. It was me who those men had wanted and I knew it.
“They were looking for you,” one of the ranch hands said. “They had your picture.”
His voice was filled with contempt and hate toward me. I didn’t know what to say or do. It was true, I knew it. If I hadn’t of been at that ranch Ralph and Devin would still be alive.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly.
The group of men just looked at me and then at Sid. They were scared and didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t blame them for hating me. I had put their life at risk and their friends had been murdered all because of me. I deserved their hatred. I deserved every stare they were giving me. My heart sank as the scene unfolded and the reality of the situation began to weigh heavily on me.
Never in my life had I felt responsible for a man’s death before I got mixed up with Frank Gordano. My money hungry decision had changed the lives of so many people and ended the lives of good men. I was sick to my stomach. In that moment I was feeling the true consequences of my actions. Up until that second I had believed my consequences were only that I had been sent away to the Montana ranch and that I had to take time out of my life. But that was not true at all.
My actions in deciding to work with Frank were a ripple effect that had changed so many people’s lives. I wished I could take it all back. I would give every last penny that I made back and I would live the already great life I had. But I couldn’t take it back, nothing I said or did could change what had happened that night.
Two good men were lying there dead, all because of me. It was a senseless act of violence and I felt so guilty I almost collapsed right there in the dirt. Since arriving at the Miller’s ranch I had only worried about my own life. It had never dawned on me that Frank Gordano would actually kill innocent people to get to me. And from what I heard, Devin had even willingly told them where I was, but the killers didn’t care and shot him anyways.
I stood there looking at Ralph and Devin as tears filled my eyes. They were dead and I was alive. It was a horrible injustice yet I couldn’t do a thing about it. I couldn’t bring them back to life and I couldn’t change what had happened.
Everything had happened so quickly that when I looked up and saw Sarah standing in the barn doorway it felt like it had been hours since I had been lying next to her. But in reality, it had probably only been about five or ten minutes. She had stayed in the barn like I ordered her, but with the talking of the men from the bunkhouse, she finally emerged.
“Daddy,” Sarah yelled as she ran over to her father who was walking toward me with his shotgun in hand. “What happened?”
“I need you to gather the men and keep them occupied. Take them to the north barn and feed the animals or something. Just keep them away from all this,” Sid said without actually answering her as to what was happening.
Sarah stood looking at Ralph and Devin in total shock and then looking at me. There was no time to explain what had happened; I would just have to talk to her later. For the time being, we weren’t one hundred percent sure that we had everyone who had come there to kill me and it wasn’t a good idea for Sarah, or anyone, to stay there.
But I knew that Sarah had heard Devin’s pleas to save his life just like I had heard them. She knew that the men had been looking for me and she knew that I was the reason that poor Ralph and Devin were lying there with holes in their heads. I couldn’t take the disappointment and sadness in her eyes. I couldn’t stand the way she was looking at me one more second.
She moved toward me and reached out to touch my arm. The look of concern on her face wasn’t something I deserved. She could keep her pity for Ralph and Devin and their families. Sarah had no idea the truth behind it all. She didn’t know that it was my fault those men were dead. Sarah had no idea what I had done to be sent to her ranch and how many lives I had ruined because of my selfishness. I couldn’t take her sympathy another moment. I didn’t deserve sympathy.
“Go!” I said firmly as she looked at me and tears continued to stream down my face.
It caught her off guard how I yelled at her and I was sorry about that. But I couldn’t have her staying there and looking at me the way she was. I couldn’t have her asking me
a bunch of questions, because I wasn’t going to answer them. But most of all I wasn’t going to have something happen to her while I had a breath left in my body. She could hate me if she needed to, but I needed her to follow her father’s directions and get out of the area.
“Agent Walker is on his way. He’ll arrive in a couple hours. He said to let local police do what they needed to do with the scene,” Meredith said as she walked up to the three of us.
Sarah looked at her mother and then her father; she had no idea what was going on but she followed her father’s directions and gathered the men to bring up to the other barn. She was shaking as she walked past me and I wanted to reach out to her, but I kept my hands to myself. When this was all over with, Sarah wasn’t going to like me all that much. She was probably going to hate me for lying to her and hate me for putting her family’s life in danger, but because of her father, she was alive and so was I.
“I’m sorry,” I said to Sid as we stood there waiting for the police to arrive.
It had been a few minutes since Sarah had left with the men and none of us knew what to say or do. We couldn’t touch anyone and we couldn’t leave. We just had to stay there and wait. The only thing I could think to say was some sort of apology for the face that I was there and that those men had come after me.
“Boy, don’t be sorry. What’s done is done. I’m just glad I took those bastards out. Your agent will be picking you up when he arrives. You’ll need to gather your things, but wait until the local police have arrived. I don’t want you disturbing the crime scene.”
“Has this ever happened before?” I asked, suddenly curious how Sid seemed to know the exact protocol for what was going to happen next.
“Not exactly. But you’d be surprised at how many people we’ve hidden here and how many criminals have tried to find them. It’s the first time someone actually worked their way into the property though. We’ve had deaths on our ranch before, but it’s usually ranch hands getting drunk and stupid.”
“It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have gone into town when I first got here. I’m so sorry,” I said through my tears.
If I had been in my right mind, I would have been embarrassed by the amount of tears I was still shedding. But I wasn’t in my right mind. I was a mess. The events of the last year had all culminated into that moment and my nerves were utterly shot. I could have been killed that night. If Sarah and I had decided to go back to my cabin, we both would have been dead at that very moment. It was enough to shake me all the way down to my soul.
“Come on now, Garrett, that was months ago. We can’t change all that. The important thing is that you’re still alive,” Meredith said as she hugged me.
I totally lost all control of my emotions as Meredith’s arms held onto me. It had been a really long time since I had a good cry and there seemed no better time than to mourn the lives of two men. I felt safe there with Meredith and even with Sid. He didn’t seem to be judging my tears at all, although his hands were still steady as could be. It was impressive to me that Sid had just shot two men and then wasn’t even shaking at all.
Everything about my situation was more real in that moment than it had been since that day over a year before when I was pulled into the questioning room at the police station. This wasn’t the life I had hoped for, but it was my life and my mistakes. I hated that other people’s lives had been taken all because of mistakes I had made.
I could hear the sirens roaring in the distance and felt like I was in a daze as they arrived on the ranch. Meredith and I walked over to the front porch and sat down while Sid talked to the officers. The sun was coming up and it helped to illuminate the full scene as the officers swept the rest of the ranch to make sure there were no other people hiding and waiting to kill people.
Meredith talked to me and even held my hand a little as she calmed my nerves. I could tell she was a great mother and wished my own mom was still alive. I would have loved to of had a hug from my own mother that day. But Meredith would do just fine. She was sweet and calm as she kept me busy talking and tried to avoid any conversation about the incident that had just happened.
When they got to the barn, one of the officers noticed the secret love nest in the attic and came to talk to Sid about it. I walked over toward him and was ready to admit to what had happened between Sarah and I, but apparently I didn’t have to. Sid already seemed to know. Maybe it was because both Sarah and I had come out of the barn that morning, or maybe Sid had known all along; but he clearly knew that Sarah and I had been sleeping together.
“No, they weren’t up there. My daughter and Garrett were up there,” Sid said as he pointed to me.
“What’s your name?” one of the officers asked me, as he looked at his notebook and seemed not to be able to find the name that Sid had given him.
It seemed like a simple enough question and yet I didn’t exactly know how to answer him. I had gone by Garrett Reynolds for a year, but that wasn’t my real name. Which name was I supposed to give him? Could I even trust him? I really didn’t know.
“Garrett Reynolds,” I said with an unsure voice.
“It’s okay, I know this man. His name is Chief Canter. You can trust him,” Sid said.
That was all I needed to know. If Sid trusted the man, I knew beyond a doubt that I could trust him as well. I would have given the man my real name right away, but I had been told to never give that out when I arrived at the ranch.
“My name is Malcolm Edwards,” I said.
“The FBI will be here shortly, they are going to want to get Malcolm out of here and safe as quickly as possible. Can he grab his things from the cabin?” Sid asked.
“I’ll have one of my guys go in with him.”
“Thanks.”
Sid patted me on the back as we stood there and watched the crime scene investigation as it unfolded. I was really glad I had been placed there with Sid and his family. I was certain had I been anywhere else, I wouldn’t have been alive at that moment. Sid had saved my life. I would always remember him and all my time at the ranch, no matter what else was in store for me with the trial and my future.
It took the police over three hours before they cleared my cabin so I could go in and grab my things. Not like I had anything else to do with my time, but did seem like a very long wait for the five minutes that I was in the cabin to gather my things. There weren’t many things that I had to grab. Some clothes, my journal, and a few small items I carried with me when I arrived.
The moment was surreal as I walked out the back door of the cabin with the same small bag that I had arrived with. I needed to find Sarah. I couldn’t leave without talking to her first. The agent was going to be there at any moment and I had to find her.
“Where’s Sarah?” I asked Sid.
“At the barn up north.”
“I’m going to take Buckjoy up there and say goodbye before I have to leave,” I said as I started to leave.
“Sorry, son. You’re not going anywhere; Chief Canter said I need to make sure you’re still alive when the agent arrives for you.”
I looked desperately at the officer and then over to Sid, neither of them seemed to care at all that I would totally destroy Sarah’s heart if I left without even saying goodbye to her. I had to talk to her. I had to apologize for the lies I had told and the omissions I had left out. I couldn’t have her last memory of me being my yelling at her to go.
“Please,” I begged Sid.
“No.”
He didn’t look at me at all when he answered. I wasn’t sure if he was angry at me for wanting to say goodbye to Sarah or angry because I was pushing them to say goodbye even after they told me no. Maybe he was angry that Sarah and I had been together; I really didn’t know. But I had to risk it. If I risked nothing else at all, I had to risk them being angry at me so I had the opportunity to see her and explain my side of things.
I looked to Meredith for help. She was kind and understanding, certainly she would say something in my
defense so I could go say goodbye to Sarah. Meredith wouldn’t want her daughter’s heart broken; I was sure of it.
But as I looked at Meredith, she turned just shook her head and motioned for me not to push it. She was on their side. No one wanted me to see Sarah or say good-bye to her. My stomach was in knots thinking about how much she was going to hate me.
We waited and watched as the coroner came and picked up the dead bodies. Then, just like clockwork, Agent Walker arrived to take me away. He exchanged pleasantries with the local police and then with Sid before coming over to check on me.
“Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. And sorry it’s under these circumstances.”
“I have a friend that’s up at the north barn. I need to say goodbye to her before we leave,” I responded to him without exchanging the normal pleasantries.
Agent Walker looked at Sid who shook his head no, and that was all it took for my request to be denied. I knew I had lost the battle. I was exhausted from the events of the morning and the adrenaline had drained from my body and left me so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open. As much as I wanted to see Sarah, I had to admit defeat.
“Let’s get you back home. They have scheduled you to testify via video tape and are hopeful that Gordano will take a plea after seeing that you’re still alive.”
“Okay,” I said in defeat.
I turned toward Sid to tell him what I thought of him and all he had done for me. Sure I was angry that he didn’t want me to say goodbye to Sarah, but that didn’t matter. I knew he had gone above and beyond to keep me safe and that deserved my praise.
“I’ll never forget you, Sid. You’re a man I’d like to be someday. Thanks for everything,” I said as I extended my hand and he grabbed a hold of it.
“Keep yourself out of trouble.”
“I will.”
