As she glanced back at Kathy, Celeste, Linda, Rose, Adele, Mitch, and Bruce, Lorrie took a deep breath. Then she vowed right then and there that her husband and her children would always come first. They would always know exactly how she felt about them. Not for a single second would they ever wonder whether or not she loved them.
And with that parting thought, Lorrie took Curtis’s hand and allowed him to lead her out of her parents’ house and to her new life.
PART TWO
“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
~ Aristotle
chapter TEN
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1963
Today is the day. The day we move out of Mrs. Walker’s house. For the past two months, we’ve been living there, sleeping in separate bedrooms so that it wouldn’t confuse Curtis’s brothers and sisters. I haven’t felt like I’m married yet. Things are still the same as before, except I no longer live with Momma and Daddy.
Now that we’re moving into the guesthouse—just the two of us—I think it’s going to feel a bit more real.
And that secretly scares me to death.
The past two months had been hell on Curtis. Not only because he’d spent a lot of time explaining to everyone they knew that he and Lorrie had gotten married, but also because it seemed every minute he wasn’t at school, he was working. Whether it was doing the chores on the ranch that required his attention or the endless hours he’d spent fixing up the guesthouse so that he and Lorrie could move in there, every extra minute had been spent preparing for today.
But now all that hard work had paid off, and they were finally getting to move into the house.
Just the two of them.
“Are you sure it’s ready to live in?” Lorrie asked as they packed the last of their things into the bed of his truck.
“I’m sure.”
“What about a washer?” she asked.
He knew she was trying to come up with excuses because she was hesitant, but Curtis respected that. For the first two months of their marriage, they’d slept in separate rooms, in a house full of people. This would be an interesting transition. For both of them.
“It’s bein’ delivered on Monday.”
“Should we wait till then?”
Curtis reached for his wife—he fucking loved the sound of that—pulling her against him on the far side of the truck, shielded from anyone’s view.
He twisted their positions so that she was up against the truck, his body pressed to hers. Tilting her chin up, he stared down into her eyes, doing his best not to let his gaze drop to her mouth. “It’s okay to be nervous, darlin’, but we’re movin’ today.”
“I’m not nervous,” she retorted haughtily, reminding him of the first time she’d showed up on his front porch.
“Then what’re you worried about?” She looked away, but he kept his finger beneath her chin. “Look at me, Lorrie.”
Her eyes snapped back to his. “I’m not worried.”
“Good.” Not that he believed her. He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her lips before releasing her. “You ready?”
Lorrie glanced back at the house. “I should go say good-bye to everyone.”
When she started toward the house, he grabbed her around the waist, lifting her off her feet and carrying her to the driver’s side of the truck. “They’re less than a minute away. They don’t need you to say good-bye. Now scoot your cute little butt over so I can get in.”
She did as he instructed, giggling softly, but he saw the way her hands were shaking.
After starting the truck, he put it in first gear and headed toward the small, two-bedroom, one-bath guesthouse that had once been used by some of the ranch hands before the small bunk house was built.
As he’d mentioned, less than a minute later, he was parked in front of the house. He glanced over at Lorrie. “I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted after that long drive.”
She smacked his arm, this time laughing. The worry lines in her forehead finally smoothed out, but he doubted that would last for long.
“I’m gonna go in, get comfortable on the couch.” He climbed out and peered into the truck. “You just lemme know if you need help with any of this stuff.”
“Curtis Walker!” she huffed.
He laughed, then reached for her, pulling her out of the truck before tossing her over his shoulder and carrying her right into the house. She hadn’t yet seen all the work he’d done, so he wanted to see her reaction before he started bringing their stuff in.
Setting her on her feet, he then backed away from her.
“What’d’ya think?”
Her eyes widened as she took it all in, then a small smile played on her lips. “It’s … not bad.”
“Not bad?” Curtis lunged for her, but Lorrie quickly evaded him, running into the kitchen and circling the table to get away from him. He nodded his head toward the stove. “You know how to use that thing, right?”
She glared at him, her cute little nose scrunching up.
“Kidding,” he said quickly, pretending to go one way, then turning and grabbing her when she started to run away.
Trapping her between the wall and his body, he took her hands and linked their fingers, raising them above her head as he crushed his mouth to hers. And though he’d expected her to be a little hesitant, he was not expecting her to panic the way that she did. The way her eyes widened, her whole body shaking and her breathing raspy, he knew he’d pushed too far.
And that was his first clue that this … a house of their own … might not have been a good idea.
Freaking out certainly wasn’t her intention, but for some reason, that was exactly what Lorrie did when Curtis pinned her to the wall. Although his mouth was warm and familiar, his hands gentle, her nerves had interrupted every signal from her brain, and she pulled back from him.
“Hey,” Curtis whispered, releasing her hands and putting his arms around her. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Lorrie wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. “You didn’t,” she mumbled against his shirt. “I’m just a little nervous.”
A lot nervous was more like it, but she knew she didn’t need to explain that to him. He’d witnessed it firsthand.
“You know I’m not gonna push you, right?”
Clearly Curtis knew her too well if he was asking her that. “I know.” And she did.
Didn’t mean her brain was processing that information at the moment.
By the time they were ready for bed, Lorrie had pretty much made herself sick with worry. She knew that Curtis expected her to sleep in his bed, and she wanted to. She really did. But she wasn’t ready for … sex. As much as she wanted to be ready, it didn’t feel like the right time for her. And that meant that sleeping in his bed would mean she was being a tease, and she definitely did not want to be that.
“Come on,” Curtis said, his tone soft as he got up from the couch.
They’d been sitting there for the last couple of hours, ever since they’d finished unloading their things and putting them in their proper place. It had seemed almost natural for both of them to be reading on separate ends of the couch since they didn’t have a television, but what little reprieve she’d had from her nerves was now gone.
Knowing this was what was expected of her, Lorrie forced herself up from the couch, then took Curtis’s hand when he held it out to her. She allowed him to lead her into their bedroom and right over to the new bed he’d bought for them. According to Curtis, sleeping in his old twin bed was not an option, no matter how close he wanted to be to her.
Swallowing hard, Lorrie wiped her sweaty palm on her pants when he released it.
“Get dressed for bed,” he instructed.
Nodding, she did as she was told, retrieving one of her long nightgowns from her dresser, then heading to the bathroom to change. When she emerged, she found Curtis lying in the bed, propped up on a pillow with his hands tucked
behind his head. Shirtless.
Her throat worked overtime as she tried to swallow the anxiety down.
“I’m dressed, darlin’. Only my shirt is gone.”
She wasn’t sure if knowing that helped or not.
Curtis patted the bed. “Come on.”
It took a few seconds for her to convince her feet to move, but finally she managed to climb into bed, keeping a safe distance between them as she pulled the blankets up to her neck.
Curtis turned to face her, but he didn’t attempt to get closer. “I’m not gonna force you to do anything you don’t wanna do, Lorrie.”
It sounded as though he was disappointed by her reaction, and she could see why. She was acting as though he was going to jump on her at the first opportunity. But she knew Curtis. He respected her; that she was certain of.
Still, this was significantly different than her sleeping in Gerald’s old bedroom and Curtis sneaking into her room for a few minutes each night.
Which meant this was more like being married than a simple piece of paper that said they were.
Truth was, she’d thought she was fine with it until now. Thought she would be able to handle being Curtis Walker’s wife in every sense of the word.
That definitely wasn’t the case.
Now that it was a reality, she was just scared silly.
chapter ELEVEN
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 1964
Married life is not as glamorous as some probably think it is. In fact, it’s not much different than not being married, except Curtis and I live under the same roof. Some of the girls at school say they envy me, others say some not-so-nice things, but I don’t let it get to me. I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. Mostly.
Curtis received a letter from his brother Gerald today. It basically said that Curtis shouldn’t wait to see if he gets drafted, but rather he needs to enlist. Since he graduated from high school back in May, it’s a real possibility that he’ll be forced to go in. This scares me more than anything, but I know how Curtis feels. He wants to defend his country and I respect that. He worries about Gerald and I understand that, too. Doesn’t mean I like it.
Since we’re living in the guesthouse behind his mother’s house, it’s a little bit lonely. Especially when Curtis is working on the ranch. I can’t imagine what it’ll be like if I have to be here without him if he goes away. When I asked him what he was going to do, he said he didn’t know. I think he’s going to sign up and not only because Gerald said he should.
I think he’s thinking about it because of me.
Because of us.
Although we’ve been married for fifteen months now, we still haven’t consummated the marriage. He keeps telling me that I’m not ready. Sometimes I agree with him, other times I don’t. He’s started telling me that I’m too young (which infuriates me), but I know arguing with him won’t make a difference. And sometimes it’s easier to think he’s right.
As far as Curtis was concerned, coming home to see Lorrie every day rather than walking her to her parents’ house seemed to be the only difference between being married and not being married. That and the fact that he was out of high school, and she had just started the new school year a couple months ago. Because he was working from sunup to sundown, Joseph was taking her to and from school with him, which was a relief.
Since the day they’d wed at the justice of the peace, they had lived together. He wouldn’t lie and say it hadn’t been easier when they had lived with his mother. More so than since they had moved into the small guesthouse almost thirteen months ago.
He had a wife. He had a house. He had a washing machine. And he had a shit ton of land. The latter was still odd to think about, but he couldn’t seem to stop. Not only had his life changed because he’d become Lorrie’s husband, he had also started working full time on the ranch and taken over the finances. Math was certainly not his strong suit, but his responsibility nonetheless, so he did what needed to be done.
It seemed he’d gone from being a relatively carefree kid to an adult way too fast. He wasn’t regretting his decision, because he loved Lorrie. Loved her more than words could express, but up to this point had been hard. A lot harder than he’d thought it would be. His mother had warned him that he shouldn’t have high expectations for the first few years. After all, Lorrie was still young. They both were. Mary Elizabeth had told him they should simply focus on growing up. The rest would come with time.
Except Curtis was beginning to have doubts. Doubts that he could make Lorrie truly happy. He had money, could buy her anything she wanted, but he knew Lorrie. She didn’t want him to buy her things. Hell, it had taken an act of congress to convince her that they needed a new bed, that they couldn’t sleep in the bed in his old bedroom. And when he had wanted to buy a television, she had put her foot down. Which, now that he thought about it, had been pretty damned cute.
“You got another letter from Gerald,” Lorrie announced when she walked into the house. “Your mother asked me to give it to you.”
Smiling, Curtis took the letter as he sat on the couch and stared at the wall.
“You okay?” she asked, coming to sit beside him.
Curtis put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his side. He loved the feel of her against him, but her proximity never failed to set his body on fire. He wanted to touch her so badly, wanted to make love to her the way a husband and a wife were supposed to. But she wasn’t ready, and she’d made that abundantly clear, even if she didn’t realize it.
The first few nights they’d spent in the house had been the worst, but she had finally seemed to relax. At that point, he had attempted to get a little closer, which had only set them back once again.
One night, she had even tried to convince him that they would be better off if she started sleeping on the couch. That had been his turn to put his foot down. Although he insisted that she sleep in their bed with him, Curtis had made the decision to hold off on sex until he knew she was capable of embracing it and him.
Abstaining was a hell of a lot harder than it sounded. Thankfully, Lorrie never asked why his showers were a little longer than necessary. And he didn’t tell her.
“Are you gonna open it?”
Curtis glanced at the envelope in his hand. He knew what it was going to say. The same thing Gerald had been preaching to him about in every letter he’d received for the past six months. According to his older brother, it was time for him to do what was right, time for him to enlist.
Kissing Lorrie’s temple, Curtis closed his eyes. He didn’t necessarily want to go into the Army, or any branch of the military, for that matter. He didn’t want to leave Lorrie, wasn’t sure how he would survive without seeing her every day. But part of him knew that it would be for the best. He could sign up, go away, give her some time to grow up on her own, to enjoy still being a kid. Their marriage would still be intact, but it wouldn’t be looming over her at ever turn.
Lorrie took the envelope from his hand and opened the flap, pulling out the thin sheet of paper and unfolding it before passing it over.
“I’ll let you read it,” she whispered, kissing his cheek before getting up and wandering into the kitchen.
With a heavy sigh, Curtis took the letter and peered down at the page.
Curtis,
I figure you’re tired of hearing from me by now, but I’m not going to let that deter me. I talked to Momma the other day, and she told me that you and Lorrie are doing okay. I could tell by her voice that she’s worried about the two of you, so I asked her why. Maybe it’s none of my business, but I’m making it my business because you’re my kid brother. I’m allowed to.
Curtis smiled. Leave it to Gerald to call him a kid.
I’ve mentioned it a hundred times, and I’m going to mention it again. You should enlist in the Army. Not only because you owe it to your country, but also because you owe it to yourself and to Lorrie. I understand the reason you married her—and I’m not saying it wasn’t because y
ou love her. Momma says that you do, and I believe her—but you have to keep in mind that she’s still young. She just turned sixteen, right? She’s still a kid, and she deserves to grow up before she’s saddled with the responsibility of being a rancher’s wife.
Curtis didn’t appreciate his brother’s high and mighty attitude, but he couldn’t disagree. Even though he wanted to.
I’m going to give you a little advice. Don’t wait for the draft. Don’t wait to find out if you’re going to be forced to serve for your country. That’s a guaranteed two years, and more than likely you’ll be in infantry. If you enlist, the chances of you seeing combat are significantly less. There are plenty of positions that you can sign up for. Doesn’t mean you’ll stay in the States, but at least you won’t necessarily be in the infantry. Unless, of course, this is what you want.
What I’m trying to tell you, Curtis, is that you can give Lorrie time to grow up. If your love is as strong as you believe it is, it’ll survive these years apart. It’ll be good for you. Good for her. Please think about it.
~G
It was impossible for Curtis not to consider taking his brother’s advice. He and Lorrie had only been married for a little over a year. Fifteen months in a lifetime was nothing, and yet it already seemed as though they’d set themselves up for failure. Curtis knew Lorrie hadn’t been ready for marriage when they’d said I do, but he appreciated her love for him and the fact that she would do whatever it took to make him happy.
Setting the letter on his leg, Curtis leaned his head back and closed his eyes. And for the first time since the day he’d spoken to her on his mother’s front porch, he knew that putting some space between them was the only way that this was going to work.
Which meant he had to do this. Even if it might just break her heart. And his.
When Mrs. Walker had asked Lorrie to give that letter to Curtis, she’d felt a band tighten around her heart. She’d known it was from Gerald, and she’d known what it was going to say. The same thing every letter from him had said since the day Gerald had learned that she and Curtis had married.
Curtis (Coyote Ridge) (Volume 1) Page 8
