by Tatum Throne
“So do I, but we both knew what we were getting into when we started this thing.”
Kemper was desperate to hear the words. He knew that Shawn would never tell him. The sun was just starting to set. Sunlight caused the red highlights in Shawn’s hair to catch fire. I love you, Kemper thought. I’ve always loved you. Kemper felt like everything he ever dreamed of having was slipping away. He wished things could be different.
* * * *
Shawn could see that Kemper was devastated. Emotion poured through Shawn’s body. He wanted to make things right for Kemper, but he didn’t know how. Shawn knew he was in love, but didn’t know how to say those three little words that had the impact of a bomb going off. Their eyes met. Tears glistened in his eyes. How had he let it go for so long without even realizing that he loved Kemper? He didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t know how to make things right. Everything in his life was nice and neat and orderly, except when it came to Kemper. His love for Kemper was messy and out of control and boundless. Things were not supposed to end this way. Whenever Shawn broke things off with a sub, he made sure that things ended well. This was ending poorly.
Shawn wasn’t a man who had a way with words. He wasn’t good at articulating the deep feelings he had for a lover. Most men found him unreachable and too mysterious. They wanted and needed to know everything about him. Kemper had always just accepted him for who he was. Sometimes that wasn’t enough. Shawn understood that now. He needed to be more for Kemper. He needed to find a way that he could have it all. This was going to take some planning. Things would have to remain the way they were for now.
He had to find a way to make this right. Shawn brushed Kemper’s tears away, taking his hand in his. He lifted the back of his hand to his lips, giving Kemper a sweet kiss. Their gazes locked, causing Shawn to have the urge to pull Kemper into his arms again. It took all his willpower to resist.
Shawn brushed his thumb over the back of Kemper’s hand. “I will always treasure the time we shared together.”
“So will I. Always.” Kemper pulled his hand out of his. “I should go. I have some things to do before my SWAT testing tomorrow.”
“I know you’ll do great. Are you coming back here later?”
“No. I should get a good night’s rest at home.”
Shawn knew he had to make things clear before Kemper left. “Our contract isn’t over.”
“Yeah, I know. We have several months left.”
“Don’t forget that, sub.”
“I won’t, Sir.”
Shawn didn’t want him to go, but he didn’t know how to ask him to stay. He watched as Kemper walked to the front door, not looking back as Shawn hoped he would. What had he done? Why had he pushed Kemper away like this? He didn’t have to bring up the job offer now. He still had lots of time to decide. Perhaps part of him needed to know where things really stood with Kemper. Now he knew. It was so wrong to test Kemper this way, but he had to know. This contract wasn’t how things were meant to be forever between them. Somehow, someway, he knew he had to find a way to make things work for both of them.
Outside, Shawn heard Kemper’s car start. Shawn knew he had just lost his soul mate.
Chapter Ten
Today was the day of Kemper’s SWAT exam. Despite being ready physically, he wasn’t ready mentally to take on the challenge. A small part of him was afraid of falling and failing miserably. He sat on the edge of his bed. He’d come so far. He was no longer using that damn cane for balance. Kemper owed Shawn everything for helping him get his life back.
The book of photos Evan took during his physical therapy sessions sat on the nightstand. Kemp reached for the book, flipping it open. He froze. There were pictures of him in the hospital. His police brothers surrounded his bed. Off in the corner of one of the photos, Shawn stood. He looked absolutely beautiful as he stood vigil over his bed. The tips of his fingers brushed over the pages as he turned them. There was one of him sitting on the edge of a therapy table. Sweat dripped down from his temples onto his shirt. He’d been ready to give up at that moment. Kemp flipped the book of photos shut. He couldn’t go there now.
He’d resisted seeing and spending the night with Shawn. He didn’t want the distraction right before his test. As far as he knew, Shawn was packing his life up and moving to California.
Kemper reached for his leg, strapping it on. He headed for the bathroom to get ready. He needed to get his head in the game. A little while later, he was on the road, heading toward Camp Tack.
Sunshine was breaking through the trees at Camp Tack. Kemp drove up through the winding drive. Every time he got into the car, he thought about how lucky he was to lose his left leg and not his right. Chief Anderson was with TJ up at the welcome center. There were several current SWAT members off on the course, going over the site. Kemp’s heart started to beat a little bit faster when he saw Shawn’s car in the parking lot. There was no sign of him anywhere. Kemper wanted to smack himself in the head for looking for him.
This two-day test was supposed to push him to his physical limit. Kemp felt ready. He wanted to get back to full-time police work and not just the paperwork pushing they had him doing. Kemp shut off his car and grabbed his overnight bag from the backseat. Nervous energy zipped through Kemp’s body as he went up to TJ and Chief Anderson.
“Ready?” TJ asked.
“Hell yeah.”
“Make me proud, Morrow,” Chief Anderson said.
“No pressure.” Kemper laughed.
They headed out toward the main building where the SWAT team was gearing up within the locker room.
“Don’t be scared. We’ll go easy on you,” TJ said.
“We’ve only had one guy go home crying. And that was only due to him getting hurt,” Adam said.
Kemper found his locker and quickly changed into his tactical gear. When he was finished dressing, the team was outside waiting for him. They hit the obstacle course a few minutes later.
“Try to keep up,” Adam said.
The taunt felt everything like a threat. A whistle blew and they were off running for the forest. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Somehow Kemper knew he was about to get fucked every which way but Sunday.
* * * *
Shawn was at Camp Tack by request of Chief Anderson. From his vantage point in the watchtower, he kept tabs on Kemp as he moved through the course. He did not want to be a distraction for Kemper today. He wanted him focused on only passing his SWAT test. He lifted his binoculars, watching Kemp go through the ropes course. Kemp used his upper body strength to move through the ropes without getting his leg tangled up. Shawn grinned. He was doing great. Their weeks of training had really paid off. Kemper was looking stronger than he had ever been in his entire life.
Heat moved through Shawn’s body as he watched Kemper work. Kemp’s stocky, lean muscle and narrow hips turned him on in a way that no other man had ever. The thought of their contract ending sent his mind and emotions into a spin. Shawn did not like the idea of sharing Kemper with anyone else. Possessiveness wasn’t something Shawn had ever experienced before. He considered his relationships to be educational. As a Dom, he wanted to teach his subs something new about obedience and loyalty.
Loyalty. The word was a lot like love. Shawn frowned. He never fell in love with his subs. He wasn’t even sure what love felt like at the end of the day. Yeah, he thought about Kemper all the time. He wanted to please him sexually. He loved making him smile and laugh. It brightened his day to be around Kemper all the time. Shawn loved waking up every morning with him and when they didn’t wake up together he felt incomplete. Shawn felt like something was missing when he was away from Kemper. That had him reconsidering his plans for California.
Fuck him. He loved Kemper. He wanted him. He wanted a life with him. Shawn wanted to take him home for Christmas and snuggle up close to him on New Year’s Eve. He sure as shit didn’t want Kemper going out with another man. Ever. That thought had Shawn thinking about all the things in that c
ontract that they had yet to do. Shawn knew he wouldn’t ever get over Kemper if he let him go now. Somehow being with Kemper had ruined Shawn for every other man.
The truth of how deep his feelings went left Shawn shaken inside. Shawn’s first reaction was to run from Kemper, but he knew that wouldn’t change how he felt for his lover. Shawn lowered the binoculars. He couldn’t believe he let Kemper out of the contract without a fight. What the hell had he done?
Chapter Eleven
Out of the corner of Kemp’s eye, he caught sight of Evan taking his picture as he suited up to roll out to serve an arrest warrant with SWAT. Thunder was new to their district and someone who Chief Anderson thought would help with training. Thunder focused the camera on his legs. His military-grade titanium leg was hidden beneath his tactical pants.
Kemper pinned Thunder with a hard stare that made him grin and lift his high-tech Nikon. He snapped several pictures before moving on to the rest of the SWAT team. Thunder would always be going out on calls with them now.
They were moving out. There was a hostage situation at a heist-gone-wrong at an upscale jewelry store. Police units were already on the scene. Kemp was riding with TJ to the jewelry store in the heart of downtown Cincinnati. They came to a quick stop behind the SWAT truck, getting out.
The team moved into tactical positions. Two sharpshooters were on top of the parking garage across the street. Nervous energy pumped through Kemp’s blood as he followed TJ into position to negotiate with the men inside the jewelry store. A shiver lifted up the back of Kemper’s spine. He felt eyes on him from inside the building.
Tension vibrated through the air. Crime scene tape secured the perimeter. Police vehicles blocked traffic from getting close to the jewelry store. Sweat dripped down Kemper’s temple as he worked with TJ to secure communication with the men within the situation truck. The line rang and rang.
“We’re going to have to go inside,” TJ said.
“How many are in there?” Kemp asked.
“A total of five. Two armed robbers according to a customer who ran out the front door.”
These robbers were usually smash-and-grab jobs done after hours. This was not right. These guys were mostly high on something illegal from the corner sidewalk.
Gunfire erupted from inside the jewelry store. The storefront windows shattered. Everything went in slow motion as TJ and Kemper ran toward the store, pulling their weapons. Kemp aimed at the guy firing. He pulled the trigger once and he went down. TJ fired at the second guy who dove behind the counter, shooting as he fell.
A sting pierced Kemper’s arm, he looked down in time to see a second bullet rip through his arm. Blood seeped from his arm as a searing-hot pain cut through his body. He never felt anything like it in his life before.
Seconds later, Kemp was flat on his back, staring up at the sky. What the fuck happened? How had he gotten on the ground? TJ was hunched over him on the radio. TJ’s hand was pressed to his arm. Kemp couldn’t hear a damn word he was saying. It was as though a bomb had gone off and there was only ringing in his ears.
“Kemper! Kemper!”
“What?”
“Keep your fucking eyes open.”
Kemp went to sit up but was shoved back down. Things must have been far worse than he ever expected. Darkness pressed in on his peripheral vision. A searing hot pain shot down his side as he tried to move. He blinked hard.
“TJ…”
Everything went dark.
* * * *
Bright lights punched Kemper in the face, waking him up. He was flat on his back, staring up at the brightest fucking light he’d ever seen. It took Kemper a moment to realize that he was sitting in the emergency room. It took him just a moment more to assess the damage. His shirt was off and a bandage was around his left arm. There was also a bandage wrapped around his abdomen.
“That’s a new fucking record,” Parker said.
“Don’t encourage him with the facts,” Chief Anderson said.
“Please don’t,” Shawn said.
“What the fuck happened?” Kemper asked.
“You were hit by two bullets and went down thirty seconds after you arrived on the scene. The first went straight through your arm and the second grazed just above your vest. Nothing broken,” Parker said.
Kemper swallowed hard. “Please tell me that I have all my limbs.”
“Every one of them,” Parker said. “It is a new record for SWAT though.”
Chief Anderson came in close, leaning over the hospital bed. “If you don’t stop getting hurt in the field, I’m going to send you out with training wheels on.”
“Training wheels, sir?” Kemper asked.
“Training fucking wheels. You’ll be working parking enforcement until the day you retire.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. Shit is right. There’s too much shit going on for me to deal with your ass in the hospital every few months. Now, get your ass better and get the fuck back to work.”
Chief Anderson rounded on Shawn. “You are in fucking charge of his ass. Get him back to work.”
“Yes, sir,” Shawn said.
Kemper sat up on his elbow, trying to swing his legs from the bed. He was stopped by both Shawn and Parker blocking his ass from moving.
“I have to get the IV out of your arm before you can get up,” Parker said.
“Nice.”
Kemper fell back into the bed. Parker snapped on some gloves. Shawn stood on the other side of the bed, watching Parker closely.
“Plans this weekend?” Parker asked.
Shawn looked like he was going to pass out as he stared down at the tubing coming from his arm. “Not much. Should you be talking to me while you do this?” Shawn asked.
“Have a seat,” Parker said. “You’re looking a little pale. Deep breaths, my man. I don’t want to pick your ass up off the floor.”
“Hey, babe,” Kemper said.
Shawn blinked several times as though he was holding it together by a thread. “I’m here. What do you need?”
“I need you to come over here and hold my hand.”
Shawn came in fast, gripping his hand hard. There was so much that was conveyed by that one simple touch. Emotion poured through Kemper’s body as tears wet his eyes.
Dr. Woods moved the blanket and went to work on the tube in his arm. A few seconds later, the tube was out. Parker held pressure on the site to stop the bleeding. A few seconds later, Parker slapped on a rainbow-and-unicorn Band-Aid. Parker removed his gloves and washed his hands.
“I’ll give you two a few minutes.”
“Parker?” Shawn asked.
“Yeah?”
“When can I take him home?” Shawn asked.
A grin tugged at the corner of Parker’s lips. “Give me a few minutes to get his discharge paperwork together.” He sighed. “He should really be staying the night. I don’t like the fact that he lost consciousness after his injury.”
“It was fucking painful,” Kemper said.
“If your vitals weren’t perfect, I’d be keeping you overnight for observation.”
“Maybe he should stay the night just to be safe,” Shawn said.
“Don’t I get a fucking say in this?” Kemper asked.
“Take your time finding those discharge papers,” Shawn said.
“I will,” Parker said.
As soon as Parker left the room, Shawn leaned down, grabbing his jaw and kissing him hard. He broke his lips away, but pressed his forehead against Kemper’s. “I could have lost you today.”
“I’m quick on my feet,” Kemper said.
“I don’t like the idea of you getting hurt.”
“Then protect me. Keep me safe.”
“I wish I could protect you when you’re out there on duty,” Shawn said.
“How about protecting me when we’re together?”
“I think I love the sound of that.”
Their hands twined together as Shawn sat on the edge of the bed. Kemper fin
ally felt like everything was going to be perfect. He had the man he loved. Now, all he had to do was convince said man that they were meant to be together.
Chapter Twelve
Shawn knew he was breaking the contract by falling in love with Kemper. It was late afternoon by the time Shawn pulled up outside of Kemper’s place.
“Let me help you out of the car,” Shawn said.
“I can walk, babe.”
“Yeah, I know, but that pain medicine is still working its way out of your system. You’re going to be unsteady on your feet.”
Shawn wrapped his arm around Kemper’s waist, leading him up the walkway and unlocking the door for Kemper. He balanced Kemper’s weight against his side as they moved along together. They went to Kemper’s bedroom, where Shawn helped him undress to his boxers and tucked him into bed.
“Hungry?” Shawn asked.
“Yeah. Actually, I am.”
“Anything I can make you?”
“Surprise me, babe.”
“Will do, hon.”
Shawn slid his fingers over Kemper’s hand before he left the room and headed downstairs. He dug through Kemper’s cupboard, coming up with a can of soup. He heated the can up on the stove and found some saltines in the cupboard. By the time he came back upstairs, Kemper had flipped on the television in the room and was sitting up.
“I can get used to this,” Kemper said.
“You better be back on your feet soon if you ever want to keep me.”
“Is that a threat?”
“Maybe it is.” Shawn set the tray onto Kemper’s lap. “We need to talk.”
“Do we? About what?” Kemper asked.
“Us. We need to talk about the new contract.”
Kemper set aside the tray and pulled the sheet up over his hips. “What new contract?”
“The final one I’m going to draw up between us.”
“Sounds kind of permanent,” Kemper said.
