It Started with a Kiss

by Lisa Heidke

  ‘I hate you both. You’re ruining my life. I wish you were both dead.’

  ‘That’s enough,’ I said as Liam came back into the room.

  ‘You’re grounded, Olivia,’ he barked.

  ‘What?’ she yelled through her tears. ‘You can’t ground me. You don’t even live here.’

  ‘Olivia! Your dad’s right. What were you thinking having Brodie over here when I specifically asked you not to? Go to bed. You’re grounded.’

  ‘As for you,’ Liam said, turning to me.

  I was confused. ‘As for me, what?’

  ‘Look at you. Look at your daughters. You’re an unfit mother. That’s what you are.’

  I walked away from Olivia’s room, mortified and furious that Liam had bawled me out in front of her.

  He followed me to the front door. ‘How dare you say that to me, Liam? We were both together tonight. How is this my fault?’ ‘From what the girls tell me, you’re out most nights of the week, whooping it up. It’s no wonder they’re running amok.’

  ‘Running amok? Liv’s fifteen. I can’t keep her under lock and key.’

  ‘Perhaps if you were a more present mother, you wouldn’t need to.’

  I flinched, stunned by his outburst. ‘So this is my fault, is it? Mine? You’re the perfect parent now that you’re absent?’

  ‘This conversation’s going nowhere.’ He pushed past me to open the door. ‘I’ll talk to you later.’

  ‘Liam, stop!’ My voice rose sharply. ‘You always shut down conversations between us, never saying how you really feel. You just continue putting up walls and running away.’

  ‘How I really feel, Fri?’ He turned to look at me, his expression pure fury. ‘You’ve caused this. You’re the reason I’m absent, the reason I’m not living here in my home where I should be. I thought tonight we might have talked through our issues but instead your boyfriend showed up.’

  ‘He’s not my boyfriend.’

  ‘Whatever he is, it’s clear to me that you’re not spending enough time being a parent to the girls.’

  ‘That’s rich coming from you. You’ve abdicated all parental responsibility—’

  ‘We want different things, Fri.’

  ‘Really?’ I said, closing my eyes and clenching my teeth in frustration. ‘I want a husband who is happy to be at home with me, who takes joy in being with his daughters and actually wants to be part of a family unit even when things are less than perfect. But you, Liam, have no idea what you want.’

  ‘Tell it to the guy who sent you the roses.’

  I wanted to chase after him, but as Liam strode purposefully down the path to his car, I thought better of it. We were both so angry and disappointed.

  ‘I love you and Daddy,’ Evie said, sobbing when I went to see her in her bedroom.

  ‘I know you do, sweetie,’ I said, hugging her. ‘Everything’s going to be okay. Let’s just go to bed and talk about it in the morning.’

  ‘I’m really tired,’ she continued as I pulled back the doona on her bed. She climbed in and I kissed her goodnight.

  Olivia was walking out of her room just as I was walking in. ‘I’m sorry, Mum. I really am.’

  I kissed her on the cheek and hugged her. ‘I know, but what were you thinking?’

  ‘I swear we were watching music videos.’

  ‘You were both lying on the bed.’

  She started tearing up. ‘Because it’s more comfortable than the floor.’

  I bowed my head and hugged her again. ‘Try to get a good night’s sleep and we’ll talk about it some more in the morning.’ I really should get the words we’ll talk about it in the morning tattooed on my forehead and be done with it.

  Once I knew for certain that they were both settled in their rooms, I threw caution to the wind by gobbling a Nestlé Peppermint Aero. Yes, I was living dangerously, but I figured, what the hell.

  In bed, I mulled over the extraordinary evening. First and foremost, I needed to sort out Olivia. Yes, she was a teenager and teenagers are meant to test their parents, but inviting Brodie over specifically when she knew I wouldn’t be at home was out of the question.

  The evening had started out promisingly with Liam talking about his parents. He even mentioned that losing our baby was a catalyst in the disintegration of our marriage, and how much he missed the girls and me, our life together. His words gave me hope that he was really starting to think our situation through, maybe even turn a corner, especially when he talked about the comedy workshop. His whole face lit up and I was truly pleased for him. But talk of divorce parties, followed by Blake turning up and finding Liv and Brodie together had soured all that.

  But this was real life. Our girls were growing up. I couldn’t forgive Liam for making all those accusations, I just couldn’t. Liam was furious, but to call me an unfit mother? That was going too far.

  And what the hell was Blake’s agenda? Had I really been fantasising about this guy? Had I really slept with him? What a knob. One thing I knew for certain, I didn’t want Liam finding out. He’d go mental. But why? Didn’t I have as much right to go out with someone as he did? My mind was jumping from one thought to the next as I tried to process the last few hours before sleep caught up with me.

  28

  The next morning, I woke to find Evie sleeping beside me. What time had she staggered in? She pounced as I tried to sneak out of bed. ‘Did you kiss him?’ She was back to her optimistic, romantic self. ‘Did he kiss you?’

  ‘No and no,’ I answered to her obvious disappointment.

  ‘He’s taking his time. Wasn’t it a date?’

  ‘It wasn’t a date,’ I mused. ‘More like a catch-up to talk about what we’ve been doing.’

  ‘I hope you didn’t mention Rosie,’ Evie said sleepily.

  I rolled towards her, angling for a hug.

  ‘Or money,’ she said, squirming away from me. ‘Dad hates talking about spending money.’

  ‘Next time, could you give me a list of topics you feel would be appropriate for me to discuss with him?’

  She clapped her hands together. ‘So there will be a next time?’

  ‘Of course. We have to see each other, even if it’s only to talk about you.’

  ‘Mum! You know what I mean. So it was good?’ Evie persisted. ‘You know, until you came home and…’ She trailed off.

  ‘It was nice,’ I reassured her.

  Evie grimaced. ‘Nice! Nice is what you say about dinner with your grandparents.’

  True.

  It was hard not to get caught up with Evie’s enthusiasm. She had so much hope for our future and so many opinions. A lot of what she said made sense. I put it down to all the television she and Olivia watched. They’d seen every possible scenario played out and resolved on American sitcoms. They were relationship experts in their own teenage way.

  Maybe I was destined to be alone from now on. Or maybe I was destined to end up with Liam… or Tommy? Who knew? Maybe the one was at a pub somewhere last night and I’d missed him forever. Or maybe my true love was actually the man I was separated from—the one who’d serenaded me on our wedding day and swore he’d love and cherish me, not ‘until death do us part’, but for a good many years.

  At breakfast, Evie was still banging on about Liam. I tried explaining that just because Liam and I ate a meal together didn’t mean we were getting back together.

  She wouldn’t have a bar of it. ‘Why not? Who else are you going to date? At your age?’

  I closed my eyes and counted to five before replying. ‘I’m not looking to date anyone, thanks, darling.’

  Olivia walked into the conversation, laughing. ‘That’s good, ’cause you won’t get anyone.’

  ‘Liv,’ I said, eyeballing her. ‘I think the less you say at the moment, the better.’

  She grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl. ‘I said I was sorry. ILY.’

  ‘I love you, too, but you still did the wrong thing. You know Brodie’s not allowed over when I’m not
home.’

  ‘But, Mum—’

  ‘But, Mum nothing.’ It was going to be a very long day.

  After they left, I rang Brodie’s mother.

  ‘You got to me first,’ Tricia said after I introduced myself. ‘I was going to phone you. Brodie told me you’d invited him over last night. I should’ve checked. He’s grounded, by the way.’

  ‘So’s Liv. She knows the rules.’

  ‘Fair enough. How was she this morning?’

  ‘I’m ruining her life, apparently.’

  Tricia laughed. ‘Welcome to my world.’

  I was getting ready to leave the house when Tommy phoned, demanding to know where I’d been last night.

  ‘I told you I was having dinner with Liam. No big deal.’

  ‘You saw your ex?’

  ‘He’s still my husband, Tommy.’

  ‘But what about us? I thought it was over between you. I told you what I wanted, for us to be exclusive. I’m ready for a serious relationship… with you.’

  Gawd. We’d known each other a little more than a week. ‘I’m flattered, but do you think we could take it down a notch? Shouldn’t you be at work?’

  ‘I am. Did you find out who sent you the roses?’

  I paused so that my irritation didn’t come through in my voice. ‘No. As I said I think they were sent to my house by mistake.’

  He sighed. ‘Rosie said there was another dude, but that it was over.’

  ‘She’s right. Please, let’s talk about this later. I have to go.’

  Men! I locked the front door and checked the mailbox on the way to the car. A couple of bills, two real-estate flyers and a handwritten envelope addressed to me, no post mark, and inside, a note.

  You’re a busy woman. How do you keep track of all your men? My count has it at three—husband, married lover and young Adonis. Next?

  No name. Unfamiliar handwriting. Then again, who wrote anything by hand these days? I stared up and down the street. It was deserted. This wasn’t funny anymore. It hadn’t been funny to begin with, but now the situation was frightening. Someone was watching me… keeping tabs and seemingly privy to my every move.

  But who’d want to? Liam? Maybe trying to get some dirt on me in case of a divorce? I had no idea, but he’d seemed pissed off about meeting Blake last night. And then there was Tommy. Maybe he’d…

  I found myself retracing my steps, staring down onto the beach, wondering if anyone was staring back up at me with binoculars. Watching me, the girls, looking into our bedrooms, the bathroom? It wasn’t hard to get carried away by imagining creepy scenarios.

  The thought of some lunatic spying on my daughters and taking photos made me anxious and scared. Nutters roamed suburbia, we all knew that. Barely a day went past when something like that wasn’t reported on the six-o’clock news.

  But this wasn’t some random stalker, the person clearly knew me. They also had money to spend. Roses were one thing, but specialty cakes from the Cake Place easily ran to a couple of hundred dollars and took several days to make.

  Slowly, I walked back up to my car. At what stage did I act? It’s not like I had been threatened, but I had cause. Three women alone in a house. Where was Baxter when I needed him? We didn’t even have a house alarm, at least not one that worked. I’d always hoped window stickers saying we had an alarm would be enough of a deterrent. I needed to think this through rationally. Why would anyone be out to get me? To unnerve me? The girls?

  Lost in thought, I jumped when I saw Stephanie waving two metres in front of me.

  ‘Yoo-hoo, only me,’ she yelled. ‘Don’t want to hold you up.’

  I twisted my lips in a semblance of a smile then made a point of looking at my watch. ‘Yes, I’m running late for work.’

  ‘Just wanted to ask if everything’s okay? I’m worried about you.’

  I unlocked the car. ‘Everything’s fine.’

  ‘It’s just you’ve gone through so much, Friday. And you know how people… gossip. I noticed Liam’s car here last night…’

  ‘That’s right, visiting the girls.’

  Stephanie clutched her long strand of pearls. ‘I see.’

  ‘So no need to worry about me. Anyway, I better get going.’

  ‘Of course. Friday, if you ever need to talk, I’m here for you. God bless.’

  I was totally on edge when I left the house, checking for unknown cars on the street, dog walkers, joggers. I was a mess.

  However, for the next few hours I was able to put aside my anxiety while I worked, and as from next week, I’d be working three days a week. Part of me felt like I was letting myself down by not focusing on building up my own business, but the wiser side of me was saying it was more sensible to have a secure income and focus on building my own client base the other two days of the week. If it got to the stage where I had enough of my own clients then I’d look at scaling back my hours at Deirdre’s. But for now…

  •

  When Evie and Liv came home from school, I gave them both a glass of milk and red velvet cupcakes. After preliminary niceties, I got down to business, but they were on to me.

  ‘What’s this about?’ Olivia said suspiciously. ‘Is this about Dad? What have you done to him?’

  Murdered him by the sound of her tone. ‘No, this isn’t about Dad and, Liv, you’re hardly one to talk after last night’s behaviour.’

  ‘It’s cool. I’ve texted him.’

  ‘That’s not the point—and it’s not cool. If I’m not here, Brodie’s not allowed over. Get it?’

  Olivia went to speak but closed her mouth.

  ‘Liv?’

  ‘I’m living in a prison.’

  ‘If you really want to, I’m sure it could be arranged.’

  ‘Mum, you’re not funny.’

  ‘I’m not trying to be. It’s only because Dad and I love and care about you that you think we’re being unfair.’

  ‘And destroying my life.’

  Of course I was destroying her life. I was her mother. ‘Other than destroying your life, how’s everything else going? It can’t be easy for you both with the way things are between your father and me.’

  They glanced at each other and shrugged.

  ‘Come on, guys, I want to know how you’re doing. Is everything all right?’

  ‘I guess,’ said Liv.

  ‘You wanted Dad to kiss you last night, didn’t you?’ said Evie. ‘And you’re upset.’

  ‘No, Evie, and please eat your cupcake.’

  She wrinkled up her face and pushed away her plate.

  ‘You haven’t noticed anything unusual around here, have you?’

  Liv rolled her eyes. ‘You mean, more unusual than you skipping around, dancing and singing?’

  ‘I don’t dance and sing all the time. And, yes.’

  ‘Nope.’

  I looked at Evie. ‘Anything?’

  ‘Nup.’

  ‘Wait,’ said Liv. ‘Are you talking about the old man next door who keeps putting grass in our green bin?’

  Harry, the old man next door, was my age, probably younger. ‘Does he?’

  ‘Yep. When he thinks no one’s looking, but from my window I can see the bins.’

  I raised my eyebrows.

  ‘Yeah. Don’t envy me.’

  She had attitude but could be amusing when she tried. I thought about Harry for all of ten seconds before dismissing him. Nothing doing.

  I thought about the other neighbours, the ones who actually were old. Had I done anything to piss off any of them? I didn’t think that I had. We had no pets to foul anyone’s yard or to get into howling matches at three in the morning, I didn’t have a leaf blower that I regularly used at full speed at seven am on Sunday mornings. Our newspapers didn’t litter the footpath. By the sound of things, I was a perfect neighbour. Quiet and unassuming. Apart from the fact that Tommy had appeared on our deck wrapped only in a towel, that is. Then I thought about Stephanie. I wondered.

  What about all the other
people I’d been in contact with over the last couple of weeks? People you wouldn’t necessarily suspect.

  All night, I thought about the note. I double-checked that the windows and doors were locked and checked them again, just to make sure. Several times, I got out of bed and crept around in the darkness, looking for intruders. The down side to living above the beach and having great views was that we had little privacy. A two-foot-high Japanese box hedge and a few camellia bushes didn’t afford a lot of protection from prying eyes and it was beginning to weigh heavily on my mind and nerves.

  29

  Forty-eight hours after dinner with Friday, Liam was still thinking about it. The night definitely hadn’t gone to plan. And then going home to Newport and finding that boy with his bum hanging out of his jeans in Liv’s room! What the hell was going on there? Liam was furious. Okay, so maybe he shouldn’t have said Friday was an unfit mother, but this was his fifteen-year-old daughter, for God’s sake. Liam remembered the stuff he and Brad had done as teenagers. But a girl? It was wrong.

  And that scene at the restaurant? That smarmy tosser showing up. Liam was still seething about the overcoat. For some reason it really pissed him off. Blake had been giving Friday the eye. Liam had noticed him checking her out and he didn’t like it one bit.

  And then the business with Rosie. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned her, but Liam couldn’t help himself. That woman and her stupid schemes. Dog sitting, pigeon racing and now divorce parties. He really didn’t see divorce as a celebration, even though Friday had tried turning the conversation around to him and his behaviour. That he’d done her wrong and therefore had brought this situation upon himself. Like Liam was totally responsible for their separation.

  Anna popped into his mind, then Susie from Beat FM, the online porn… Okay, so he wasn’t blameless, but he’d had a lot of stress to deal with over the past three years. Surely he was entitled to some fun now and then.

  They were taking a break. It wasn’t permanent, at least Liam hoped it wouldn’t be. But he couldn’t give Friday a direct answer when she asked him when or even if he was returning home.

  He knew she wouldn’t wait forever and that logically, after a separation, came a divorce, but still he was surprised when she’d mentioned hiring a lawyer. He didn’t want to go down that path, did he?