Losing Control (A Babysitting a Billionaire Novel) (Entangled Brazen)

by Nina Croft

  She narrowed her eyes. “You are such an asshole.”

  “You have to admit it was good.”

  “I have very little to compare it with. When I do, I’ll let you know.”

  Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed her clothes, dashed into one of the stalls, and locked the door behind her. She dressed slowly in the hope that he’d be gone when she came out. She knew it was a vain hope; Jake always liked to have the last word.

  She emerged and found him leaning in the exact same spot. When he saw her, he straightened and waited for her to approach. He spoke when she was a foot away.

  “You have sex with Steve, and he’s fired.”

  She came to an abrupt halt. “You can’t do that.”

  “Watch me.”

  She wanted to argue but knew it would just be for the sake of arguing—there was no way she would have anything to do with Steve now. She’d spend the whole time comparing him to Jake, and she suspected he’d be a big disappointment. But she wouldn’t tell Jake that.

  She gave a casual shrug. “Steve is safe from me.”

  “Good.”

  She licked her lips. What she needed was some indication that they could return to their old footing. But he didn’t reassure her and all her doubts loomed. What if he didn’t want to be her friend now? What if she’d crossed some invisible line into the lover category, which would eventually turn into the ex-lover category, and she’d lose him?

  “I need a little time to come to terms with this,” she said. “I know it’s not a big deal for you, but for me it’s sort of huge.”

  “It’s huge for me, too.”

  Before she could ask why, he took the final step, which brought him close enough to touch her. She held herself very still as he reached out and stroked her cheek, then leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips. She swayed toward him, but he released her and moved back. “I reckon I’ve given you four years. I can give you a little longer. But don’t make me wait too long, Kimberly, or I will come looking for you.”

  “Will this change things between us?”

  “Oh, yes.”

  “Will you still be my friend?”

  “I’ll always be your friend, but we can be so much more.” He bent, and she stood her ground as he lowered his mouth toward hers. She knew how this went now. Her lips parted, and his tongue pushed inside, hot and wet. Warmth stole over her, heating her blood, her skin. And she accepted a moment of defeat. She had no defense against how he made her feel.

  But after a minute, he drew back. “There’s something else.”

  “There is?”

  “I didn’t use a condom.”

  For a second, his words made no sense. “What?”

  “When we made love, I was…overwhelmed. I didn’t use any protection.”

  Her mind struggled to make sense of what he was saying.

  “You don’t need to worry about catching anything,” he continued. “It was a first—I’ve never had sex without a condom.”

  “Never?”

  He shook his head. “But if there are any repercussions—”

  “Repercussions?” But even as the word left her mouth, she realized what he meant. Babies.

  Not a possibility. Really it wasn’t. Was it?

  She worked back to her last period. She should be okay. Shouldn’t she? She’d never given babies any thought. Never. The whole idea seemed unreal.

  “You’ll let me know?”

  No, she wouldn’t. Because it wasn’t going to happen. The cold lump in her stomach was shock, not fear. “I should be okay.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “If you’re pregnant, we’ll just get married.”

  …

  Why the fuck had he said that?

  Jake stared at the door she’d slammed in his face. He thought about going after her but decided to give her time to calm down.

  If he’d ever envisaged proposing in his life, he couldn’t have imagined doing it in a ladies’ changing room, or receiving such an emphatic refusal. Though it hadn’t exactly been a proper proposal. He’d just suggested they get married for the baby’s sake.

  But even if he’d gotten down on one knee and handed over the Koh-i-Noor diamond, he doubted he’d have gotten a better reception.

  He was quite aware of what she thought about marriage. She wasn’t a big fan. But his brain had been scrambled by what had to be the best sex he’d experienced in his entire life. He knew that was because, for the first time, his emotions were involved.

  So involved that he’d forgotten to use a condom.

  Fuck.

  What he couldn’t work out was—had he done it on purpose?

  Was his subconscious trying to force her hand? Had he seriously thought that if he got her pregnant, she would jump at the chance to marry him?

  This was Kim, who had sworn she would never tie herself into that trap again—she really believed she’d never remarry.

  He should have just fucked both their brains out until she couldn’t think of anything else. Until a life without him was not an option. He already wanted her again. And she’d enjoyed herself just as much as he had. She’d come apart in his arms.

  Instead, he’d opened his big mouth and mentioned the M-word.

  He was so screwed.

  Chapter Six

  Jessica was waiting for her in reception, leaning on the desk, which was now empty. It had gone six, and most people had left for the evening. The afternoon had passed while Kim had lain prostrate on Jake’s desk.

  Stop thinking about it!

  But at least concentrating on the sex stopped her from dwelling on the rest.

  Was he totally insensitive? He knew how she felt about marriage. She could only presume it was his protective streak coming out again. He obviously believed that since he’d had sex with her, she was even more his responsibility than before. That he needed to look after her. She had to tell him to stop thinking that way because it made her mad.

  She could take care of herself.

  And her baby.

  Ahhhh!

  There is no baby.

  She took a deep breath. She was betting Jess was preparing her interrogation questions right now, and Kim had to decide how much to give away. She trusted Jess and wanted answers and advice. In the past, she’d have gone to Jake, but these were hardly the type of questions she could ask him.

  Like is sex always that good?

  And why hadn’t he used a condom? Jake was always thorough.

  “Come on,” Jess said. “You look like you need a drink.”

  Something occurred to her. If she did find out she was pregnant there would be no more chocolate martinis for the foreseeable future.

  Fuck. That so wasn’t an option.

  She took deep, steadying breath. It was okay. Because guess what—she wasn’t pregnant.

  “I do. I do. I definitely need a drink.”

  “Well, let’s get you one and then you can tell me all about your day.”

  …

  Sergeant Danielle Sinclair sat at their favorite table in the wine bar a couple of blocks over from the office. She appeared tiny, hunched over a bottle of beer. Dani had known both Jessica and Jake when they’d been in the army and she occasionally did freelance work for the company.

  Unlike the other two, she was still in the army. At least for now. A few months ago, she’d been injured in a bomb explosion in Afghanistan. Now she was waiting to hear if she could return to duty and staying with Jess in the meantime.

  “Hi,” she said, raising her bottle of beer in Kim and Jess’s direction. Dani had red-gold curls that reached her shoulders, green eyes, and freckles. She appeared about twelve years old, though she was actually twenty-seven, and had been in the army for ten years. She was a dog handler, the best there was, according to Jake, and another lost soul he seemed to have taken under his protective wing.

  Jess went to the bar, and Kim sank down into the seat opposite. “So have you decided?” she asked.


  Jake had offered Dani a temporary job while she awaited her next medical—the one that would declare whether she could return to the army or whether she’d be invalided out. She didn’t look well—pale, with lines of strain etching the corners of her eyes and mouth. She’d always seemed fragile, though according to Jess she was as tough as old boots and could face off the most dangerous badasses.

  “Yeah, I’m going to take it. I fly out with the dogs in a few days.”

  “Lucky thing. I’d give anything to be on that detail.”

  “What? Babysitting some asshole playboy with more money than sense?”

  “He’s not a playboy,” Jess said, putting a cocktail in front of Kim and handing Dani another beer. “He’s a screenwriter and a very successful one.”

  Dani shrugged. “Same thing.”

  “And he’s in Spain,” Kim said. “I heard from Gary—the place is fabulous.”

  “At least the sunshine will be good. I’d forgotten how cold it is here even in the summer.”

  Kim took a sip of her chocolate martini. The job would have been perfect, guarding a writer whose last screenplay had upset a few people. But as usual, Jake had said no. Pass the test and then he’d consider it.

  She’d never get those bodyguarding jobs if she were pregnant.

  Grr—where had that thought come from? She was so not pregnant.

  She slammed her glass down, then glared as she caught Jess’s look of extreme interest.

  “Okay,” Jess said. “What’s got you all worked up? Time to spill the beans.”

  “Nothing,” she muttered.

  Jess turned to Dani with a grin. “Jake wanted a ‘chat.’ Came all the way down and accosted her in the ladies’ changing room.”

  “Really?” Dani’s eyebrows rose.

  “Really. I’m guessing he caught her in a compromising position with Steve.”

  “No, he didn’t.” He’d caught them sparring, but that was hardly compromising. Not like being caught naked on your boss’s desk with his head between your legs would be compromising. Shit. Why couldn’t she get that image out of her mind?

  Jess studied her through narrowed eyes. “Oh my God, she’s blushing.” She turned to Dani. “She’s blushing—it’s not a figment of my imagination, is it?”

  “No, she’s definitely a little flushed.”

  “Am not.”

  “Am.” Jess sipped her drink and studied her some more. “So if it wasn’t about Steve, what was Jake so pissed off about?”

  “I wouldn’t say he was pissed off exactly…” Well, he hadn’t been then, but he might be now. After she had stormed off and left him standing in the ladies’. After he’d suggested they get married. She’d done such a good job of convincing herself they could go back to being friends, and then he’d gone and spoiled it.

  “So if he wasn’t pissed off, what would you say he was?” Jess broke into her thoughts.

  Kim gnawed on her lip. She trusted Jess and Dani, and if she didn’t talk to someone soon, she might implode.

  “I slept with Jake.”

  There was complete silence at the table.

  “Well, actually I didn’t sleep with Jake. We…” She raised her gaze from her drink and looked at the other two.

  Speechless.

  “What?” she asked, her tone belligerent.

  Jess’s mouth fell open. “You slept with Jake?”

  “I told you we didn’t actually sleep.”

  Dani cleared her throat. “You had sex with Jake?”

  Kim nodded.

  “When?” Jess fired.

  “This afternoon.”

  “Where?” Dani blurted.

  “On his desk.”

  “You had sex with Jake, this afternoon, on his desk?” Dani repeated slowly, as if she couldn’t believe it.

  Well, Kim couldn’t believe it either. She nodded morosely.

  “The desk in his office?” Jess closed her eyes for a moment. “I will never be able to stand in front of that desk without that image going through my mind.”

  “Thank you,” Kim muttered. “That’s very supportive.” Now she was definitely blushing. She grabbed Dani’s cold beer and pressed it to her cheek, waiting for the heat to subside. It didn’t happen. She swallowed the last of her drink. “I need more,” she said.

  “I’ll go.” Dani stood. “But don’t say anything else until I get back. I don’t want to miss this.” Kim watched Dani limp across the floor to the bar. Maybe she should have gone, but Dani hated being treated like an invalid.

  “She’s getting better,” Jess said softly. “It’s more noticeable in the evenings, and she pushes herself too hard.”

  Dani got back to the table, put the drinks down, and they sat in silence for a few moments. Kim waited for them to say something else on the subject of Jake, but was not sure she wanted to hear it.

  “I think Jake’s always wanted you,” Jess said eventually. “It’s obvious really.”

  “Not to me, it’s not.” Though Jake had said he’d wanted her for a long time. But if that was true, he’d done a great job of hiding it. Or maybe she was just dim. “You must think me very naive.”

  “Not naive, no. Blinkered maybe. But I never thought he’d do anything about it,” Jess continued. “You know Jake’s got this protective streak a mile wide. I’d figured he’d told himself he couldn’t risk hurting you and that you needed a friend more than you needed a lover. So what changed?”

  “I told him I was planning on having an affair with Steve.”

  Dani choked on her beer. “Why did you tell him that?”

  “Because he asked and I was—planning on having an affair with Steve.”

  “And Jake said…?”

  “That Steve was an idiot and that if sex was what I wanted, then I should have gone to him.”

  Jess snorted. “Wow, romantic.”

  Kim scowled. “I don’t want romance.”

  “And I’m guessing Jake knows that.” Jess nodded.

  Kim slugged back a large portion of her drink. “This is a purely hormonal thing, and as soon as I have my hormones under control, it will go away and I can forget all about sex. It’s just an itch that needs scratching.”

  “And Jake scratched it?” Dani asked. “So has the itch gone?”

  “No, I’m definitely still itching.” More than ever.

  Jess laughed. “So what was it like?”

  “I don’t have a lot to compare it to. Only Michael and that was horrible.”

  Jess patted her hand.

  “That’s the only reason I told you,” Kim said. “I want to know…need to know…if it was normal.”

  “Why? Did he do something kinky?”

  “It wasn’t so much what he did, as how I felt.” Oh, God, this was embarrassing.

  “So how did you feel?”

  “Unbelievably good. I didn’t know anything could feel that good.” She squirmed in her seat as the memory of him inside her flashed through her mind. Hard and hot, and his mouth tugging at her nipples and… She bent down and rested her forehead against the table. Finally, she straightened. “Is that normal?”

  “Don’t look at me,” Dani said. “I wouldn’t know—I took a vow of celibacy when I joined up.”

  “Or me,” Jess added. “It’s been a long, long time. My only relationship recently has been with my vibrator. But don’t be so worried. Having sex with Jake isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

  “Jake’s my friend. I don’t want to lose him.”

  “Perhaps you won’t. You can get married, live happily ever after—”

  She threw her hands in the air. “Ugh! That’s even worse. I’ll never marry again. I’ll never—and I mean never—let anyone get close enough to control me. And you know what a control freak Jake is. No, my only hope is to pretend this never happened.”

  Right up until he’d said the dreaded M-word, she’d thought that perhaps she could have the sex and the friendship. Now, she knew deep down she couldn’t have both, tha
t she would have to choose. So they would be friends, old cronies together.

  But what if Jake married someone else?

  She could maybe live with the lovers who came and went from his life. But what if he finally committed to one woman? She’d believed he’d never marry, but what if he forgot to use a condom again? And got some woman pregnant? Not her, because she wasn’t. No way. Couldn’t be. But some other woman. She’d hardly want Kim in her home on a Thursday night to watch movies with her husband.

  Everything was falling apart.

  “How will Jake feel about going back to being just friends?” Jess asked.

  “Why would he care? He has women falling over him. What’s one more?”

  Jess shook her head. “He does care.”

  How had things become so complicated? All she’d wanted was a little fun sex. Instead, she’d gotten a goddamn marriage proposal.

  “Really across his desk?” Jess couldn’t seem to get her head around that bit. How surprising. She grinned. “What if it had been the day for the window cleaners?”

  “Piss off.”

  …

  Kim woke the next morning with a headache and a sense of foreboding. Somewhere way above her head, Jake would be in his penthouse. Probably not still in bed—he was a disgustingly early riser. Being married to him would probably be a nightmare.

  Though no doubt, she’d be getting up to see to the baby anyway.

  Shut up.

  She wasn’t pregnant.

  She hadn’t had the courage to air that particular problem with Jessica or the fact that Jake had suggested they get married. He’d obviously felt guilty about forgetting the condom.

  So from now on, she’d give up the idea of sex with Jake, which had never been a viable option, just a momentary aberration best forgotten.

  Obviously, Steve was also out. But how about that activist from the party, Nick Winters, who’d called her at the office? He seemed nice…well, maybe nice wasn’t the right word. More like dangerous in a sexy sort of way, but she could see herself going out with him.

  No, she’d find an alternative for sex—or maybe buy herself a vibrator—and she and Jake could go back to being friends. His friendship was worth far more than a few mind-blowing orgasms.

  She never understood why Jake had befriended her five years ago. He’d come into her life at a time when she’d desperately needed a friend. Nineteen years old, only six months into her marriage, and already she’d known that she’d made the biggest mistake of her life. The smooth charmer she’d married had metamorphosed overnight into a control freak with a drinking habit, a vicious temper, and absolutely no interest in her whatsoever.